I made an announcement here, on Facebook, and on the “Boots on Line” board that I married my partner of almost 20 years. Yeah, it was a momentous occasion in our hearts and minds, and I appreciated the love and support from my family and friends. The response was surprising to me, to tell you the truth. Here’s an analysis.
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Yearly Archives: 2013
Straight Guy’s Perspective on My Brother’s Same-Sex Marriage
This is an invited guest blog from my twin brother, J. I asked him to write it because I have been puzzled a great deal about why some people say publicly that my marriage to the man I love somehow changes the definition of marriage. My brother is a practicing Catholic, and is married to a woman.
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First of all, let me publicly express that I was thrilled to have the honor to serve as the Best Man (in a sense) at the marriage ceremony for my brother and the man he has loved for 20 years. I say that I was Best Man “in a sense” because the marriage ceremony was conducted as a civil matter by a judge in the county courthouse — it was not a wedding attended by guests followed by a reception, party, or public celebration.
My brother and I were raised in a huge family, most of whom remain active members of the Catholic Church. Some of my siblings chose to leave the Church for various reasons — my brother included. We have had many long discussions about this matter. Let me suffice it to say that I believe that my brother is a man of Faith — I see it every day in his actions. But enough about that.
So I am straight, married to a woman, and a Catholic. How, then, could I stand beside my brother when me was married to a man? Doesn’t it somehow change the definition of marriage when the State allows men to marry each other?
I have read many blogs and posts from a variety of people on the Internet and in the newspapers — particularly back home in Italy which is not nearly as progressive as other countries of Europe. Some of the items that I read express rather extreme and hateful points-of-view. The authors come across as hypocrites and bellicose Bible-thumpers. These type of people do nothing to win favor to their position against same-sex marriage.
Some more moderate people, regardless of religious belief, have expressed that they think that same-sex couples should be allowed to have a civil union and therefore obtain the same rights as opposite-sex couples have when they marry. Trouble is, each state in the United States and the U.S. Federal Government recognize “marriage” and provide certain rights to married couples, but the language in the law reserves the legal recognition and extension of rights to people who are “married” but not “unioned” (or whatever the term may be.)
For me, personally, having served the United States Government in the Military and in Federal Service for 32 years, I strongly believe in what the Founding Fathers of the United States designed: complete separation of church and state (government.) Our Government should not be engaged in any way with religious beliefs. It should be totally non-secular. Not anti-religion, but not religious. That is a big deal.
It comes down to the State (government) providing for a way for my brother and his spouse to be recognized as a married couple so they can receive the same treatment under the law as any other married couple. Yes, call this “marriage equality” but don’t call it “redefinition of marriage.”
In my opinion, marriage is not redefined because the State allows in its laws for same-sex couples to obtain a marriage certificate, have a civil legal procedure performed, and as a result, be labeled a “married couple.” Marriage is a civil act — anyone who wants to marry must obtain a marriage certificate from the State, regardless if they are opposite-sex or same-sex couples, and regardless if they are gay or straight.
My perspective on all this? Basta with the politics. Basta with the religious hype. On with the deserved legal recognition of a relationship I have admired for many years. My brother has done so much for and with his spouse, I could not imagine any other way to describe it — LOVE. Why deny rights to loving couples? How does their marriage in any way damage or affect your marriage? I just don’t get it.
I am thrilled to have a brother of integrity, honesty, faith, and determination as I have in my twin, and appreciate and recognize that my brother-in-law shares these same values. I love them both, and always will.
Congratulations, and much love from me and my wife. Now, let’s gather the whole fam-damily and party!
It Is Vows and Ring Time
Today is the day when my beloved man and I will be married. We have simple vows and yes, we will give each other rings.
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So Much for the Quiet Marriage
My twin brother, bless him… he used his access to this blog to write a short message yesterday which publicly announced that marriage is imminent for my best half and me. My brother and his wife arrive today from Italy. I intend to meet them at the airport, then promptly dump my brother off a bridge…
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Blog-napped
This blog has been blog-napped. The whereabouts of the perpetrator are somewhere between Rome, Italy, and Maryland, USA.
Yes, this is J, BHD’s twin brother. Why I have I blog-napped my brother’s blog?
Well, it’s simple — he and his ever-reclusive partner are getting married.
THIS WEEK!
Stay tuned for more information, once I pry his computer out of my butt for spilling the beans….
J
New Suits and Accessories for the New Job
Can’t wait ’til my new job starts a week from today. Mind you, I enjoyed my old job, too, but the contract for that work ended yesterday (March 31) and the new contract for the new job doesn’t start until one week from today. So this week, I can take my time to be fitted for a new wardrobe of suits and accessories to go with them.
Why am I selecting new suits and accessories?
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Boots At Work — Snow to Spring
I continued to wear a different pair from boots in my cowboy boot collection and my motorcycle boot collection. This past week was a real mix of boots on my feet, as we began the week with a huge but non-accumulating snowstorm, and ended the week with cool but “becoming Spring” weather.
Here goes — these are the boots I wore to work this past week. Continue reading
Social Media Political Neutrality
Readers who regularly follow my blog know that I am in a committed relationship with the man I have loved for just about 20 years. He is my rock, my sunshine, my thought-provoker, my hunk, my bestest friend, my noggin-knockin’ noodle, and much more. We are engaged to be married sometime this year, since same-sex marriage is now allowed in the state where we live, the Free State of Maryland, here in the good ol’ USA.
As many people around the world know, there are two cases that were presented before the United States Supreme Court this week that are related to same-sex marriage. There has been much commentary in the news media, and especially on social networks.
So why haven’t I said anything or changed my social media profile photo to any of the images shown here?
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“How” Questions About Boots
Here are more examples of actual, as-written, as-searched, boot-related “how” questions that direct visitors to my website or this blog. Some questions are serious, some are strange, and some are amusing. If you are wondering, I can “see” the questions that direct visitors to my website/blog, but I cannot tell who the visitor actually is. I respect privacy. I figure, though, if at least one person is asking via a search engine, then others may have the same questions.
Here goes…
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Unfair!
Photo taken yesterday morning in the downtown of my hometown near where I work:
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