It Is Vows and Ring Time

OurringsToday is the day when my beloved man and I will be married. We have simple vows and yes, we will give each other rings.

I said earlier that neither my fiance or I wanted to wear a ring. But we thought about it, and decided to get rings for each other and exchange them with meaningful words,

These rings are the symbol of the vows taken, a circle of wholeness; the perfect form. These rings mark the continuance of a long journey together filled with wonder, surprises, tears, laughter, celebrations, grief, and joy. May these rings glow in reflection of the love we have for each other.

The symbolism of our rings remains powerful and meaningful for us.

Our vows? Also, very simple. Neither one of us wants to stumble over what we say, nor do we want to ramble on. We know how we feel about each other. Here are the vows we will say today:

I, [name], take you, [name], to be my partner on our life’s journey. I promise to stand with you in celebration and sadness, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I pledge my love, devotion, faith, and honor to you for now and evermore.

So here we are, after the ceremony as we were leaving our county courthouse:
Marriage03Photo, courtesy of my twin brother, J, who served as my Best Man, as I served for him as his Best Man when he married.

What boots did I wear? My Legendary custom ostrich cowboy boots, worn subtly under my dress slacks. My spouse bought these boots for me so they were especially meaningful to wear for our marriage ceremony.

Where did we go after the ceremony? … To the County Land Records office to file papers to retitle the deed to our property into “tenants by the entirety” which is the strongest relationship for property deeds available only to married couples. Then we returned home.

When we got home, we fired up the Tivo to play the following YouTube video on our large TV, and dance holding each other closely. This song was popular in 1997, four years after we met. It is “our song,” which we said that we would play at our wedding. Well, our “virtual wedding” anyway, right here on this blog.

Life is short: show those you love how you love them! I remain honored and lucky to be in love with my best friend, and have the bestest friend for life, my twin brother, beside us for this important occasion.

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About BHD

I am an average middle-aged biker who lives in the greater suburban sprawl of the Maryland suburbs north and west of Washington, DC, USA.

9 thoughts on “It Is Vows and Ring Time

  1. What a very classy and handsome couple you make! And your song is the perfect touch for this special day! I’m not surprised that you wore your boots, but do I spy a tie as well? Congratulations!


    • Thanks, my friend. Yuck– a tie — but it was his request, so be it. (But let me say, it came off just as soon as we were done! LOL!)

  2. Congratulations and best wishes!
    May you both have nothing but happiness in your life together, now and in the future.

    • Thanks, Calvin. I hope you find the man of your dreams, too. Keep at it. I found my man when I wasn’t looking, and have been happy ever since.

  3. This day has been a long time in coming, and I am very happy for you both. A few years ago, I would not have been able to write that.

    As a conservative Christian, I have long struggled with SSM. And I do mean Struggled with a capital S. I am happily married to a woman, and have two wonderful sons. Before I was married I had male partners, though, and have always struggled with my own sexuality. I have never cheated on my wife, and won’t. Ever! But each and every day I struggle with homosexuality.

    When the whole SSM thing started to rear its head a decade ago, it was very hard for me. I vehemently opposed SSM for the longest time. How dare gay people try to force me to accept something that goes against my core beliefs! Yes, I even donated to NOM (once, but I got sick of their emails and phone calls). But, I kept asking myself, why was I so opposed to SSM? Obviously, my church upbringing, first of all. Yet, there was something deeper, though. Over a long period of time, I realized that a lot of it had to do with my old friend, schadenfreud – having joy at other people’s pain. I was bullied severely when I was in school (faggot, gay boy, suck my dick…) and I have never recovered fully. As a result, I have a lot of trouble seeing other people happy – I root for the American teams to lose at the Olympics, get happy when the weathermen predict a rainy weekend during the summer, stupid stuff like that. And this transpired into my vehemently opposing SSM – yet another group of people whose misery I could be happy at.

    Over time, however, a couple of things happened. I got very sick and tired of all the yelling on BOTH sides. And I don’t know who were the bigger haters, the left or the right, for both sides are equally bitter and awful to each other. Not just the NOM crowd, but the left as well, were guilty of name-calling and kindergarten antics. Such vehemence on both sides did nothing but upset me and made me more upset over the whole issue.

    Through my boot collecting addiction (lol) I found the blog of my now-good friend, BHD. Through his blog, and through getting to know him as a pen pal, I have come to see that not all gay men are card-carrying, rainbow flag-waving, out-there, loud and proud, we’re here, we’re queer, pouffy hair and perfect wardrobe, Sam Champion worshipping guys, but also quiet, staid, sober-minded gentlemen who happen to be gay, and as such, I respect BHD highly. His wedding was a simple civil ceremony done for the right reasons, and not to prove to the world that gay people should be treated as “normal”, and too bad if you don’t like it, because we are here to stuff our sexuality down your throat. No rice was thrown, they didn’t carry matching bouquets of rainbow roses, and they didn’t fret over the color of the napkins at the wedding lunch.

    (Trust me: as a church organist, I have seen it all when it comes to weddings. So many straight couples enter into marriage for all the wrong reasons, too.)

    I understand SSM better now. As a civil contract, I don’t have issues with it. Do I believe churches should be forced to comply with SSM? NO. Absolutely not. Nor do I believe it is the government’s role to force religious hospitals to provide abortions when it goes against their moral consciences. Do I feel that elementary school children should be taught that it is A-OK for them to have two daddies? No, because I believe it is the parents’ responsibility to bring up their children and not the role of the government to teach moral issues to our children. Do I resent the fact that crooked politicians continue to force their will on us, mostly for economic reasons? Yes, definitely.

    I cannot do anything but wish BHD and BB great happiness and joy, and the comfort of knowing that when one dies, the other will be taken care of financially and legally.

    Thanks for being a good friend, BHD! I wish there were more gay gentlemen like you out there, and fewer gay guys.

    • Wow… quite profound and informative, OBMIT. Thank you for sharing this. As you and I have grown to know each other, we have found respect for one another derived from the fact that we care about things that matter most: family, service, commitment, trust, honesty, and integrity. These things have nothing to do with sexual orientation. I just wish, personally, that some of the more vociferous negative noodles would behave that way. But as I always say, that’s for other blogs and other venues.

      Thanks again. I remain honored to have you as a friend.

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