Blog Friends

I have been writing this blog since January 2008; some 12+ years now. During that time, I have been contacted by people who had questions about something that I wrote about on this blog (boots, leather, or motorcycle riding, or combination thereof.)

Some of these contacts grew into deeper connections and friendships. Today I reflect…
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More Life Circling

As I struggle with coming up with fresh content for this blog, I am in deep thought about six friends who have died within the past two weeks — one of them a close skydiving buddy, four others who were wonderful people with whom I worked in my past life (previous long-term job), and one very close friend very recently. The most recent death was…
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Tale of Blog Friendships II

Since 2011, I have built another blog-inspired friendship with a guy who once referred to himself as “OBMIT” for “The Only Booted Man In Town”. Subsequently in 2014, OBMIT began going by “WC”. Blog readers have probably viewed many of his comments on various posts. In fact, he was among my first guest authors when he wrote “A Booted Man in an Unbooted State” in April, 2011.

Subsequently, WC and I have exchanged almost daily email. I say “almost daily” …
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Tale of Blog Friendships

Almost 10 years ago soon after I began writing this blog, someone wrote to me and asked some questions. I answered him, and we continued to exchange messages. Over the years, my blog-inspired friend “S” and I had found where we were kindred spirits in many ways. He rides a Harley-Davidson Road King, like I do. But more often and more regularly … alas, I still deal with many competing challenges to my time.

When my (then partner, now) Spouse was extremely ill, S was always empathetic and supportive. I began having virtual motorcycle riding adventures through him, since I was so devoted to caregiving for The Spouse that I couldn’t ride much. Those “virtual rides” did wonders for my inner biker soul.

S was among the first to whom I wrote after I had my first (and hopefully only) crash last May. His outpouring of concern, strength, gentle advice, and support as I recovered from that incident will always be remembered.

And so it goes…
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Guilt Feelings in Losing Touch

Yesterday, I became aware that a friend, Clay, was admitted to the hospital suddenly to have major heart surgery. I had been communicating with Clay for many years, but mostly now through Facebook. He had stopped using email. Apparently he sends and receives texts instead … but that leaves me out because I block texting on my mobile device because I find texting both expensive and intrusive. (What I like about email is that I can read and reply to it on my schedule.)

I have always felt that Facebook is a way to observe what your family and friends are doing, but is not a way to discuss news, share information about feelings and frustrations, and so forth, the way friends talk when they’re together.

But since Clay only seems to use Facebook and texting as his primary means of communication these days, I comment from time to time on his Facebook posts to let him know that I care and am thinking about him. It’s not the same, but at least that form of contact lets him know that I appreciate and care about him.

Then he goes into surgery… and his predicament caused me to think about other friends who I haven’t communicated with as much as I once did, and even a few who have dropped out of my life.
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How Rich Are You?

This was an actual question that someone sent to me recently.  I have not communicated with him before. His first email to me said, “nice boots… how rich are you?”  He was from somewhere in the United States.

How rich am I?

I will answer it this way:  I am richer than I could ever imagine….

I have a wonderful partner who cares for me deeply, and tenderly looks after me.  He is my rock.  He keeps me focused, strong, and positive.  He makes sure that I am safe, well, and protected.  He loves me unconditionally.  He is a testament to strength, fortitude, endurance, and faith.  He is the foundation of my soul.  What other words may I use?  How does one measure his richness by his blessings of his best half?

I am rich with the love and support from family.  They nurture me, care for me, love me, and keep me sane and well-grounded.  All of my siblings, nieces, nephews, “greats,” cousins, aunts, uncles … the whole fam-damily — as many as we are — we are who we are because of our bond of blood.  My siblings, in particular, are a testament to what love is all about.  We all are different in many ways.  However, overall, our bond is deep, enduring, and its richness is undescribable.

I am rich with strong bonds of enduring friendship with people who know what a real friend is all about.  They do so many things to show their love.  Some of my friends have done that for me for over 50 years, and some more recently.  It has been said that you can measure how rich you are by the strength of your bonds of friendship.  I do not take these bonds lightly.  I do what I can to extend myself to caring for my friends as they care for me.  Each and every day I am made richer by these wonderful, thoughtful, caring souls.

I am rich with learning patience every day. I care for my 96-year-old aunt who has Alzheimer’s Disease, as well as general old-age infirmities. Under the clouded thoughts and occasional blank stares lies a woman who has done a lot in her own life, and who loves me deeply. This experience of enabling her to continue to live on her own terms, in her own home, with activities and actions that keep her life meaningful enrichen me in ways that I cannot describe, and make me a better person. I have learned how to listen better, to observe better, and how to be a much more patient man.

I am rich with the ability to extend caring to a large network of senior pals. Helping them out, taking them to get groceries, fixing things and doing home repairs, preparing tax returns… these people are the net that sustain my life of voluntarism and my heart, which makes me richer than anything else: the ability to extend yourself to make someone else’s life better makes one rich in his soul.

I am rich with community.  I live in an exciting place.  Right outside the door (almost) of the Capital of the United States.  I live in a state (Maryland) that is thoughtful in its approach and acceptance of my partner and my relationship (and isn’t hateful, hurtful, and backward as some other states).

I live with rich diversity. My local government is provided by a county, not a city. The county is strong and vibrant.  Its government is inclusive.  It listens.  It responds.  It may take some whacks on the proverbial head to get some local elected officials and county leaders to listen … but they do.  We’re all in this together, and the richness of my community composed of almost a million residents who hail from all corners of the world demonstrates how diversity makes us all stronger and better as a people.

I am rich with strong faith.  I have deep faith and belief in powers beyond my own.  I have faith in humanity, civility, and what’s right — rather than what’s wrong.  I believe….

I am rich with a job that I love.  I enjoy working.  I enjoy the heck out of doing what I do.  Words cannot describe how rich one feels when one wakes each morning and says, “oh, goodie!  I get to go to work today!  Yippie!”  (Seriously, I am insanely happy with my employment….)

Materially, I have enough resources to live comfortably, in a nice house that we built, and to have things that make life fun, like my Harley.  I owe no debt.  I do not carry a balance on any credit cards.  I live life responsibly.  I practice financial responsibility.  Because I have managed my resources well, I have had sufficient discretionary funds to buy some boots and leather items from time to time.  But I do not spend money that I don’t have.

I am also rich by means of measurement with many other intangibles.  Seriously, to me, that is what makes life “rich.”  It’s not money or things.  It’s people.  As they told George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life, “no man is a failure who has friends” and he was “the richest man in town.”

Yep, I consider myself to be among the richest men in town … all because of the relationships with the people who make my life that way.

Life is short:  cherish your family and your friends.  They are, after all, what makes life rich and rewarding.

Friends for Life Terrorize the Old ‘Hood

Last night, for the 38th year in a row, 14 of my friends from Junior High School and I, along with spouses, children, and grandchildren, went Christmas Caroling in the neighborhood where we grew up.  It was a blast!

While we sing off key, our spirit was enthusiastic and our joy was fantastic.  I got a huge “high” from doing this — for so long, so many years: so much fun.

We did not go as far as we did 38 years ago.  But we saw some of our former neighbors, including a woman who babysat for me and my family when we were kids.  She is 92 now, and still lives on her own in the same old house I remember.

After getting a bit hoarse and not tolerating the cold as well as we once did (though I remember complaining about the cold back in 1972), we went to the house that one of the members of our group lives in now — and still in the same old neighborhood — right next door to the house in which I grew up.  My friend had bought the house from his parents, and has raised his family there.  How nice.

We laughed, told wild stories, and even pulled taffy while eating too much.  What great fun.  I regret that my partner wasn’t with me, but he hates crowds.  I got home way too late, and woke early to write and post this message while seeing my partner off for a drive to pick up his mother who lives 200 miles away.  She will spend Christmas with us when he brings her back in the middle of the coming week.

BTW, I wore a pair of thick leather jeans with a flannel shirt and a leather bomber jacket, black Wesco harness boots and leather gloves — it was cold!  And before you ask, no one said a thing about the leather.  They all know me, and know that I wear leather regularly.  It was waaaay too cold to ride my Harley, plus the streets were a bit icy from the remnants of a spit of snow we got a couple days ago, so I drove my truck over there, and was glad I had a pair of “snow tires” on my feet (the Vibram lug soles) when I walked outside on the snow & ice.

Following is a YouTube video of a song that is my “signature tune” — that my friends turn to me to sing the  verse while they chime in (in very bad Italian) during the chorus.  The tune is Tu scendi dalle stelle which means You Come Down From The Stars.  It is an old Italian folk song, sung at Christmas.  I remember singing it with my family while we were decorating our tree, baking cookies, and especially while visiting Nonna (Grandma).

Life is short:  Buon Natale!

Former Friend

I once referred to the man in the photo above as my eighth brother, or my brother from another mother.

Unfortunately, we have completely lost touch. I deleted the content of this post in 2019 when it was apparent to me that I can’t refer to him as a friend any more. He stopped communicating with me in 2013 and I have not heard from him since, and I do not know why. This is sad; we once were very close.

Life is short: recognize when you have friends … and when you don’t.