I really hate letting this blog go sallow. Here it is July 2024, and the last time I posted was in April.

So where have I been?

Contrary to perceptions you may have that I have fallen off the planet, I have just been busy doing other things.

In May I traveled to Hawaii for 10 days (for an advisory committee meeting!) I just returned home after almost a month in Canada (for play!)

I do appreciate receiving messages from people who have read deep within this blog where I …

… tell a lot about my life story. Growing up in both Oklahoma and in Maryland ignorant of my sexual orientation, but also knowing deep down that I was not interested in women, then being scared into the closet by the AIDs crises of the ’80s… it sure took me a long time to arrive at an understanding of who I am.

I met the man who completed me in 1993. We built our last-and-forever home in my home town. We lived “as married” and then fully married when we legally could marry in the state of my birth and county of my lifetime home in 2013.

When I changed jobs in 2006, I relaxed and came “fully out” as a gay man. Before that, I was closeted because my work situation was difficult as my supervisors were retired military who espoused hatred for same-sex relationships. I just kept my personal life quiet, but always felt that I was a liar.

When I began my second career job in 2006, I was more confident and secure as first: the professional I was, and second: a gay man who lived with his life partner. By then, few batted an eye. Most were supportive, and those who weren’t kept quiet.

It also helped that in recognition of my skills, abilities, and knowledge, I was rapidly promoted to Deputy Director of my agency’s unit of my specialty. No one dare mess with me, and they didn’t.

Those were the most secure-at-work years of my life.

While my life partner/husband always declined invitations from my co-workers to social events, the annual office summer picnic, and Christmas party, his reluctance to socialize wasn’t held against me.

As I look back, I realized that out of hundreds of people I worked with, only a handful had met him.

Besides being fully out as a gay man, as I have gotten older and more secure with myself and my fetishes, those interests are also more transparent on my website.

First fetish was (and remains) boots! I’ve been into cowboy boots since I was a kid, and later as a motorcycle rider. I still wear my boots (that fit me) often — Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter.

Second fetish was (and remains) leather. Ostensibly I claimed leather was for motorcycling, and my husband was into leather too. We’d wear our fetish leather gear, go out, or just hang around home fully clad in full leather. Even today, I wear leather jeans, shirts, vests, jackets, and (of course!) boots when it is cool.

Other fetishes (or just general interests) evolved with time.

For example, I wore business suits in my Deputy job. I never really liked them back then, but I was too cheap to get good suits and have them tailored to fit me. When I retired in 2019, those cheap suits got donated for use by others who might wear them.

In 2021, I was sorta missing wearing suits, particularly in warmer months where leather would cause me to roast. Having some money and becoming more educated (as well as being appointed to a national advisory committee and two Boards of Directors where wearing a suit is required), I invested in some good well-fitting business suits that I had properly altered. Now I wear them often and like how they feel and how I look.

Notwithstanding my continuing interest in boots (and wearing suits with boots), I am now “fully out” as a shoe guy too!

This interest developed late — in 2017. Since then, I’ve grown a large dress shoe collection. I like wearing dress shoes too, mostly with my suits. I started with Allen Edmonds dress shoes, and have a ton of ’em. My favorites are classic lace-up oxfords, such as these made by Paul Evans. I also really like Barker English shoes. (I also get a hard-on for wingtips and shiny black dress shoes, too.) I own and wear dress shoes from some 17 brands of quality shoemakers from all over the world.

Hmmm… fetishes… what else? Boots, leather, suits, shoes… that’s mostly it. However, if one considers smoking a fetish, then since I’ve been a smoker for a long time, then yep… Marlboro 100s man too. I combine my suit and smoking fetish and leather smoking fetish often. (Smoking was off my website when my husband was alive because he didn’t like it. I am no liar, I smoke.)

I have not developed interests in other fetishes of which there are many — so for me, no rubber, latex, BDSM, etc. Just not me.

I have recently updated the Frequently Asked Questions page on my website if you’re interested in further details.

These days I am a proud community leader, retired professional in my field, dedicated volunteer, and (I think) gentle soul who is fully out with all I am, including all of my fetishes.

Life is short: it is relaxing not to have to worry about hiding anything you enjoy (as long as what you do is legal!)