My twin brother, bless him… he used his access to this blog to write a short message yesterday which publicly announced that marriage is imminent for my best half and me. My brother and his wife arrive today from Italy. I intend to meet them at the airport, then promptly dump my brother off a bridge…
… naahhh… just kidding. But with all the fall-de-roll surrounding our marriage within my family, we wanted to just have the ceremony and tell everyone else later. Can’t do that now!
I know — that’s not what I said before — that all of my siblings wanted to be there. They still do, but my fiance does not want a crowd. He often feels overwhelmed by my family which can be intimidating by its size, intensity, and loudness. I’m used to it, and I would think that after being together almost 20 years, he would be, as well. But he is not, and out of respect for his wishes and his medically tenuous condition, I returned to limiting witnesses at our ceremony to my twin brother and my friend, a member of our State General Assembly who championed the legislation that resulted in our ability to obtain a legal marriage and resulting recognition of our relationship in our state’s laws.
I should be happy — and I am — that all of my siblings wanted to be at our marriage ceremony — the closest thing we will have to a wedding. But as I said, being around my family can be quite intense. They are best “taken in small doses.” (inside joke.)
My brother is not the only one whose “loose lips” are sinking the Quiet Ship. I’ve told a few people, too, and we are already receiving cards. In the mail. And goodies at the door. Sheesh…. But I shouldn’t complain. After all, my senior pals are legendary for how they express their love.
Meanwhile, today my brother and his wife will settle in with us, and we will have a quiet dinner at home, like always. Give them a chance to recover from jet lag.
Thursday morning, we marry. Small courthouse ceremony, in-and-out, no big deal. I promise, though, we will take pictures and future blog post(s) will have some. Otherwise, we have no other plans. I will probably take my brother and his wife to visit some of our other family who live in the area. Return home to prepare dinner, then snuggle with my hunky spouse before going off to bed at our usual early hour.
Friday, more visits with family, then our customary family dinner. Those of us who live in the area all try to get together for dinner every Friday night, if at all possible. I figure that this time, we will have a higher-than-usual turnout because everyone will want to see my brother and his wife, who they don’t get to see often. I will try to bring my spouse along, but no promises.
What, no honeymoon? Not right now. I plan to return to full-time work on Monday and my spouse is still suffering from mild symptoms from his chronic illness. Perhaps later this year, the two of us will go somewhere within driving distance. I dunno, we’ll see.
So that’s about it… gentle, relaxed, transition to a new-to-our-state recognition of our relationship, but no changes to the real relationship with my man. I love him today, always, and forever, for all the days of my life.
Life is short: show those you love how you love them (and that paybacks can be hell, bro!)
My partner is also not happy in crowds. We met on gearfetish and after a year together decided to get married. We invited family and neighbours and friends but had no idea how many would come. We held our wedding at our home which has 1 acre of lawn in front where he made a stage for the wedding and we set up tables and chairs under awnings. The only request we had was no cards or gifts just some food to share. Well we had 292 people at the wedding. Had Micheal known in advance that huge number he probably would have had a nervous breakdown but because people just showed up it was easy. I used my esp and had collected enough chairs and tables to make the day go smoothly for that number. Even our redneck logger neighbours said it was the best wedding ever so interesting how peoples ideas have changed. We have had gay marriage in Canada for a few years now and so far Canada has not been destroyed. Trouble for us was that so many people came from around the world to our wedding we had constant company staying at the house for 6 weeks prior and 2 months after the wedding. That was a great pain after awhile so if you have a house full now I hope that they leave soon. It’s hard to get romantic when you are cooking and cleaning all the time.
Bruce, thanks for your story. If I did that to my man, he would instantly run away, probably never to return. He is not social at all. We never entertain. Just how life is with a complete recluse. However, he makes up for his antisocial behavior in many other, more positive and constructive ways. We have made it work for almost 20 years now, and while I would rather “we” be more social, I know that is not what he wants, and respect it, so I don’t push it.
Glad your marriage was so well-received, even if you had guests for so long!