Readers who regularly follow my blog know that I am in a committed relationship with the man I have loved for just about 20 years. He is my rock, my sunshine, my thought-provoker, my hunk, my bestest friend, my noggin-knockin’ noodle, and much more. We are engaged to be married sometime this year, since same-sex marriage is now allowed in the state where we live, the Free State of Maryland, here in the good ol’ USA.

As many people around the world know, there are two cases that were presented before the United States Supreme Court this week that are related to same-sex marriage. There has been much commentary in the news media, and especially on social networks.

So why haven’t I said anything or changed my social media profile photo to any of the images shown here?

Well, first of all, my “professional self” is on social media, but BHD is not. As such, I connect with literally thousands of people I have known and worked with throughout my career. I also connect with my huge family all over the world. And my “adopted family” as well — a former employer created an environment where its workers bonded so closely, we feel familial bonds.

I regret to say that more than half of my professional contacts in my profession have, let’s say, the opposing point-of-view about same-sex social issues. I see what they do and say, and watch as they suffer consequences of negative commentary, bashing, anger, and disconnection. Sure, it would be easy for me to “unfriend” some of these people who disagree and think that somehow my marriage to my man will destroy their marriage. We all know that’s bullshit, but there is a lot of bullshit from the radical wrong (aka right-wing conservative religious hypocrites).

I don’t unfriend or disconnect with people who do not share my points-of-view for several reasons: 1) you can’t deny your family, even if their ultra-Catholic positions are extreme; 2) I have to work with some of these people, so the act of unfriending can present serious negative ramifications of our professional relationship by introducing politics into a professional discussion; and 3) I use the knowledge I gain from reading their posts to discern how they feel so when the time is right, I can engage them one-on-one in a discussion. That action has more than once changed someone’s opinion to be more favorable toward my position.

Also, I do not feel that changing my profile photo to some red equal sign image really does much. Two things happen: your friends and family who know you well say, “so what; you’re gay, you will marry your partner.” The other thing that happens is that people who disagree can and will use it against you at the wrong place and at the wrong time. I have some important things going on in my life and I very well may need some of these people to help me. They won’t help me if they think that I’m going to push “the gay marriage thing” in their face — an easy assumption to arrive at by seeing a visible change on a social media profile.

Further, as difficult as it is to do sometimes, I abide by my number one rule for social media: no comments, actions, or behaviors related to politics or religion. Period. I did not comment, as tempting as it was, all through the U.S. Presidential Election cycle last year. I will not comment now on social issues of our time on social media like Facebook, LinkedIn, or others (to which I do not belong or participate.)

For me, that is what a blog is for — at times, to express one’s feelings about various social matters. So you will see it here, but not on people-oriented social media sites.

I may be strange, I may be dead wrong, but as of now, I feel that abiding by MY Rule #1 — no politics or religion on social media — has retained a solid neutral point of view that helps me retain relationships with people I have to live and work with in my life.

Life is short: know where and how your expressions can affect long-term relationships.