Usually I post a blog on Sundays with a routine, mundane, “what boots did I wear during the past week” post. But I have breaking news. I interrupt the pattern of this blog to exclaim,
CONGRATULATIONS! to a reader of this blog who…
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Category Archives: Marriage
When I Call Him My Husband
I have mentioned before that I prefer to call the man I married my spouse, as does he. We exchange email throughout the day, and always close with, “I love you, Spouse!” I refer to him on this blog by that term, too.
However, there are places and times when referring to him as my husband is an important or strategic choice of wording. Here are some examples:
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21st Year of Lovin’ My Man
Today, April 25, marks the 21st anniversary of the date that I met the man who fundamentally improved and changed my life. Yep, 21 years ago there was an event called the “March on Washington” for LGBT rights. It was an amazing, life-changing time for me and for the man I married one year and three weeks ago.
Thirty-seven and one-half percent (37.5%) of my life has been spent loving one man. Where have we been? What has become of this relationship?
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Our Big Day: One Year Later
Today, April 4, marks the anniversary date of the day that my spouse and I were married one year ago.
First-off, notice that I do not label this date as our “wedding anniversary.” We did not have a wedding. Last thing either of us wanted to do was to have a big gay frilly-froo-froo deal.
I call what we did was get married … at a private, small marriage ceremony. Just me, my husband, my twin brother, and the officiant… right there in the courthouse in the county where I grew up.
How am I feeling about our marriage one year later?
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Employee + Spouse
I’m glad to see gender neutral language appearing on official forms.
My employer recently distributed forms to re-enroll for health care benefits. Unfortunately, the rates of insurance have skyrocketed — an increase of over 25%!
On the form, there were boxes to tick, including “employee only,” or “employee + spouse.” I like that–the gender-neutrality of it. Doesn’t matter, straight or gay, a spouse is a spouse.
What was my response on this form?
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You’re The Third
Monday afternoon, I was standing in line at a store, waiting my turn to check out. A pair of Mormon missionaries — the kids that go out on behalf of their church to proselytize — were standing in line behind me. You can tell who these kids are by their uniform: white shirt, black tie, and black plastic name badge pinned to their lapel. They did not have anything in their hands, so I was wondering why they were standing in line.
As these kids usually do, one of them tried to strike up a conversation with me. They do that to open the door to what inevitably would be a pitch for their church’s teachings. I’ve had that happen dozens of times and recognize the approach.
One of these kids looked at my left hand, saw the ring on my ring finger, and figured out that I was married. Knowing that we recently had a huge snowfall, he smiled and said,
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Services for Same-Sex Couples
[Warning: rare rant alert]
As a man who married his man legally in the state where we live, I have been asked what I think about situations where some service providers have been asked and have denied services to same-sex couples. For example, florists, bakeries, party rental providers, or facilities (recreation hall or similar where a couple could have a party or wedding reception.)
One may think that I would have strong feelings about this matter…
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Dining With Friends (who happen to be married gay men)
While in San Francisco for one night — last Sunday — I arranged to have dinner with two good friends who live there — Larry of “hotboots.com” fame, and Ken, the owner of Stompers Boots. Both Larry and Ken invited their husbands, Bill and Walter, respectively, to join us.
Yep, husbands. There I am, also a married man, with a ring on my finger indicating that I’m in the same relationship.
What things to married gay men talk about?
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Kicked Butt and Took Names
This is a story about how a case of “discrimination by ignorance and delay” was resolved by a very powerful elected official who represents my spouse and me in the United States Senate. This senior Senator has a reputation for kicking butt and taking names, and getting problems that her constituents have resolved quickly.
Our story relates to challenges we faced as a newly married couple and legal recognition by the U.S. Government.
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How’s Your Who?
I wrote back in November that straight people need a word. I confirmed that again at a recent meeting with a bunch of bikers.
Several of them had heard that my spouse has had a relapse of his illness. Out of concern, some people asked me…
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