Today marks two anniversaries in the lives of my beloved spouse and me… one of twenty years, and one of three weeks. What anniversaries?

Twenty years ago on a fate-inspired day, I went to the then-President’s of a leather-oriented “MC” club in Washington, DC, where we were gathering to join the “March on Washington,” a gay-rights demonstration. I had never been involved in such a thing and thought I’d give it a try. Dressed in a leather outfit of some sort and tall black boots that were too tight, I was nervous and wondering what would happen.

After I entered his living room, from a back room emerges this guy (who I call BikerBeef occasionally on this blog). Tall, blue eyes, studly physique. He reaches out to accept my handshake when I say, “Hi, I’m [BHD]” and he replies with a warm handshake, smile, and said, “Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

We spent the day together at that event. Standing on the mall near the Washington Monument, talking, observing, and talking some more. He was intriguing with his intelligence. He had so much to talk about–current events, history, and about his background and upbringing. I shared the same. We walked up 17th Street, then slowly down Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House. Very slowly. And it got hot and sunny. Really hot and sunny. I remember getting a sunburn.

We ended up at back at the club President’s house and worked together cooking burgers on a grill. By 7pm, we both were tired, gave each other a kiss, and said, “let’s get together again next weekend.” Exchanged phone numbers, then went our separate ways. I got on my motorcycle — then a Kawasaki 750 — and rode home. BB told me that he walked home — five miles — and felt as if he were floating on a cloud.

We got together that next weekend for a home-cooked dinner at my place, then a small house in an old, settled neighborhood in Maryland, had our first night together, then went for a motorcycle ride — two-up — on my little Kawasaki.

So for 20 years, we have referred to April 25 as “our anniversary,” which was the anniversary of the date when we met.

Exactly three weeks ago today, we married in the courthouse of the county in Maryland where we built our home and our lives. So now, April 4 has become our “real” anniversary.

We never in a million years thought that we ever would come this far. Build a life and a home together, take care of each other through illnesses, injuries, and surgeries. Take marvelous trips together via motorcycle and airplane to most U.S. states, Canadian provinces, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand. But most of all through this magical, fateful journey, we never thought we would be able to marry.

We have always lived “as if” we were married pretty much since the first year of our relationship. Always committed only to the other, forsaking all others. Our lives became intertwined as we learned about the other’s trustworthiness, financial stability, values, and outlook on life being so similar. But especially when I built the house that we live in and we moved in together in 1998 — we knew, we just knew, “this was it.”

So Happy Anniversary of twenty years and of three weeks, dear spouse. I love you with every fiber of my being, today and forevermore.

This song describes exactly how I feel:

“If There Hadn’t Been You” ©1991 by Billy Dean

A man filled with doubt, down and out and so alone.
A ship tossed and turned; lost and yearning for a home.
A survivor, barely surviving; not really sure of his next move.
All of this, I would have been, if there hadn’t been you.

If there hadn’t been you, where would I be?
If there hadn’t been you here for me?
I made it through times I never would’ve made it through,
if there hadn’t been you.

A man filled with hope who finally knows where he belongs.
A heart filled with love more than enough to keep it strong.
A life that’s alive again, no longer afraid to face the truth.
All of this, I would have missed, if there hadn’t been you.

If there hadn’t been you, where would I be?
If there hadn’t been you here for me?
I made it through times I never would’ve made it through.

If there hadn’t been you on my side,
You In my life,
All my dreams would still be dreams,
If there hadn’t been you.

All my dreams would still be dreams,
If there hadn’t been you.

Happy Anniversary to my spouse, my best half, my best friend, and the love of my life. 🙂

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

1 thought on “Anniversaries

  1. Happy anniversaries to my brother and brother-in-law. I was honored to be with you at your marriage ceremony, and remain honored to be with you through life.

    Warm hugs and best wishes always from your “little bother” and his wife.

    Ore e sempre,


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