Once again, guys… not what you think (LOL!)

A couple years ago, Shane from Eastern Oregon Leather contacted me and I learned about the products that he makes — superbly-designed and hand-made wrist cuffs. I received a cuff from him back then, and have continued to wear it regularly. And now, I have a new one…

A few weeks ago, I was looking for a watch band. I remembered that Eastern Oregon Leather makes wrist cuffs to which you can attach a watch. I visited the website and in addition to getting a watch band, I also bought a thick black double-buckle wrist cuff.

When do I wear it? Every day. Seriously. It’s not just an accessory. It helps keep my wrist in line so when I type, which is something I do for hours every day, it prevents me from bending my wrist funny and getting carpal tunnel syndrome. I have some colleagues who have rather bad cases of carpal tunnel — and I want to avoid that.

Wearing a wrist cuff helps keep my wrists straight, and it also looks cool. I highly recommend them!

Visit the website of Eastern Oregon Leather and get one (or more) for yourself!

Oh, where’s the watch band? Well… I need to go to a jeweler and have him get my watch attached to the band for me, since the watch is missing some parts that make that connection.

Life is short: know quality when you see it — and wear it!

As the weather has cooled off and the leathers have returned to my choice of daily wear when I get off work, I often choose the “relaxed biker” style.

A leather vest with a t-shirt, along with side-laced leather jeans over traditional harness boots becomes a comfy, casual biker style.

Well, perhaps the Muir Cap may not be on my head when I go about my daily business, attending meetings, visiting and helping out my senior pals, running errands and going grocery shopping. But it is an image of “me” that is frequently seen. Comfortable, casual, simple.

I may use vest extenders to hold the vest closed while I get about on my Harley. The jeans are among the most comfortable I own. I got them from Mr. S. Leather of San Francisco years ago. They fit well, and continue to look good as I occasionally treat them with leather conditioner to keep the leather soft, supple, and shiny.

Leather in public? No sweat! Honestly, no one says a thing other than the occasional question about where I got the jeans and how nice they look.

Life is short: be casually comfortable in leather!

As the weather where I live has been cooling, I have been enjoying my leathers again. I wear my gear when I ride my Harley, but I also wear my gear “just around.” While I go about errands in the neighborhood, grocery shopping, and caring for my man.

Yeah, I have quite a bit of gear that I have acquired over many years. Biker wear includes leather breeches, jeans, chaps, vests, and jackets. Every-day wear includes leather shirts, and jeans.

Most of my gear is hung carefully in a rather large closet in my home office. I also keep some jackets and chaps hung in the garage near my bike. I have a few jackets in the hall closet as well.

As I prepare to renew leather-wearing again for Fall, Winter, and Spring, it’s important to check it over and condition the leathers. I look for any threads that may be loose. Usually there are not any, but for example I found a loose thread on a hem of a pair of favorite lightweight leather pants. My partner is a whiz in the sewing department — he fixed the hem nicely.

I do not go to great lengths with conditioning leathers, but I am careful to ensure the leather is clean and in good shape.

The most important thing I do to care for leather is after each wear (such as jeans while riding my Harley), after I get home, I wipe them down with a clean moist cloth to remove the dirt that inevitably collects from exposure when outdoors.

From time to time, I apply Lexol Leather Conditioner on my leathers, using a light lintless cloth and rubbing it on the leather lightly. I don’t apply pressure or rub hard — that could damage the skin. I “buff it up” so-to-speak.

When leather is kept in good repair, clean and conditioned, it will last forever. It will continue to look good, repel water if I get caught in the rain, and keep me warm.

I may bring a couple pairs of pants or breeches and a few shirts to our basement while my partner is watching whatever blather he recorded on his Tivo. I’ll work on my leathers and watch TV with him. In no time, the gear is looking good and ready for another three seasons of regular use.

Yeah, I have a lot of gear and I wear it. I am not one of those gay guys with a trunk full of leather gear worn to the once-a-year event, fashion show or club run. My gear is “out there” and “on me” often.

No, I do not wear leather at my office, but I do wear my protective gear when I ride my Harley to get there. I hang my leathers in a closet in my office and exchange it for a suit I keep there. (After all, I am a supervisor.)

When I get home, I take off the clothes that I wear to work (dress shirt, tie, and pants) and don the leather. My partner arrives home from work about an hour after I do, and I greet him as he walks in the door in full leather. He smiles, kisses me hello, and we talk about our respective days.

I may go out after dinner to check on a friend or attend a meeting. Whatever leather I have on stays on (but I admit, I do not wear a Muir Cap when I’m out and about; I wear a ballcap). Everyone who knows me has seen me in “full gear” and doesn’t say a thing. Granted, I don’t flaunt full fetishwear when I am in the community — just a pair of leather jeans, a shirt, and a jacket. No.big.deal.

Honestly, I don’t know what the hang-ups are that some guys have about wearing leather in public, but I have blogged about that a lot, so I’ll suffice it to say that leather is what I wear, and people are interested in what I have to say, not what I wear.

Life is short: keep your leather in good shape, and wear it often!

I received a message via Recon, which is a site that I seldom check any more, but have a profile there to maintain my “BHD” identity and to prevent others from using that identity and cause confusion.

Anyway, I was asked, “can you help me find someone who likes leather and help me to learn about the leather scene?”

Gosh, it’s been so long that I’ve engaged in that realm, I had to reply that I really don’t know.

These days, there are very few leather-oriented venues where guys gather on a social and frequent basis. Back in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, bars were the prime location to find other guys into this. These days, bars have been replaced by the internet, which comes with a completely different set of “rules” and methods of meeting other people. I’ve said before, I met my partner through traditional means — joining a club — long before the Internet was available to the masses.

I’m so old, stable, monogamous, community-oriented, and established in my suburban lifestyle that I have not gone out to a bar or attended events like IML, MAL, or Folsom in years. I have no intention of attending these events again. Been there, done that. Want some old t-shirts?

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with going to IML, MAL, or Folsom. Fine for single guys or guys in relationships that they call “open”. My relationship is absolutely closed, including any potential for going out by myself to such events. I wouldn’t think of it. My partner is my life, and if he doesn’t want to go, and I’m too tired to go, then we don’t. That’s just how it is as a monogamous gay couple ages.

To try to answer this guy’s legitimate question, I suggested that he try to attend one of these events to meet other guys and perhaps attend workshops that may be offered. I’m not a fan of trying to find someone on-line, because there are so many posers out there who aren’t who they claim to be. You never really know who someone is until you meet them in person. (And if you do, be safe and meet in a public place. By all means, don’t invite someone you have not met to your home the first time you may meet!)

Where are all the leatherdudes? Well, in my humble opinion, there are three answers:

1. Like me, they have “aged out” of being interested any more in attending social events and don’t go. Unlike me, they probably have closets full of gear that they don’t wear any more. I wear my leathers regularly in my off-time as I go about my daily life. Heck, I’ve made such an investment in it, I don’t want it gathering dust in the closet or in a trunk, never used again. What a waste.

2. Some attend events like IML, MAL, Folsom, and a few other, smaller, lesser-known “runs” or gatherings. Check around. There may be one that you can attend.

3. The younger ones have morphed from buying and wearing leather to other types of fetish gear such as rubber, latex, etc. I don’t know much about that, as I’m not into that kind of gear or play. Face it, I’m an old-fashioned leatherdude and am not interested in less expensive alternatives to fetish interests.

I know this post hasn’t been much help to those seeking someone who can help them learn about the leather life in the gay community. I have been out of it for so long, I just don’t know.

Life is short: know who you are now and be okay with that.

It has been incredibly cool and pleasant after the visit by the tropical storm last weekend.  In fact, it’s been downright “coolish” in the morning and early evening. It is so pleasant to have the windows open and have fresh air circulate through the house.

It also means that I am breaking out the leathers again. In the mornings when I saddle up on my Harley to ride to work at oh-dark-30, I have been choosing my thick “Retro Chaps” that I bought last summer. These chaps are made of heavyweight (8-9oz) drum-dyed leather. They have outside zips so the zippers won’t scratch the paint on the Harley. They are a perfect choice to wear over my regular pants that I wear to work when the temperatures are in the upper 50s (F — 14C).

These past two evenings, I have had some meetings to attend. Yeah, things are gearing back up after a summer of inactivity with my community groups. I use my Harley to ride to the meetings, but instead of wearing chaps over jeans, I have been wearing my new grey leather jeans instead. It is warm enough that I can ride with only one layer.

Wearing leather in public — in August??? Yep — no.big.deal. Nobody says anything. Probably because they know that I ride a motorcycle when I can and also they have often seen me wearing leather jeans, shirts, and vests over many years. The leather-wearing is just what makes up one of the quirks of my personality. And nobody cares. Really. They want to know what I think and have to say, which is what is most important, anyway, rather than obsessing about what I’m wearing.

Life is short: wear leather when the temperatures support it.

I have to give the Pakistani leather vendors credit. They sure are aggressive and love to use search engines to identify places to market their poorly-made, low-quality, leather products.

At least once each week, sometimes more frequently, something like this appears in my email:

Respected Sir / Madam

For your trust give us opportunity to serve, we will serve you, will good manners. If you trust us and purchase our products then we will give you. Discount price more then the markets. We also work on party design. So I request you do business with us, I am very hoppy to serve.

Well, at least this one was entertaining. “We also work on party design.” Giggle. So if I won’t buy cheap junk from him, he will organize my next party? What’s with that?

“I am very hoppy to serve.” The Easter Bunny would be pleased to know that.

It comes via my “write to me” page on my website — where it clearly says,

If you are from Pakistan, do NOT write to me to sell me stuff. I am NOT interested!

اگر اپ سے پاکستان میں نہیں. مجھے نہیں کرنا
چاہتے ہیں خریدنے کا سستے کباڑ.

The language is Urdu, which is the predominant language of Pakistan. I guess the people who go to the trouble to send me their messages cannot or refuse to read, or choose to ignore, “if you are from Pakistan, I do not want to buy your cheap junk.”

Life is short: callin’ ’em as I see ’em.

This past Sunday, I rode my Harley to lead and join a large motorcycle event held in Washington, DC. I was dressed in leather breeches and a pair of tall patrol boots, and my perforated H-D leather shirt. So yeah, I was wearing leather head-to-toe. Again. So what?

I forget. There are indeed those who notice. Most don’t say anything, but two did. Here’s what they said and my reply.

1. A retired DC cop who was on the ride with my group looked me up and down and said, “I know a couple bars around the corner where you would fit right in.” He did not know that I knew that he was referring to the DC Eagle, which is the closest thing to a leather bar that there is in Washington, DC. There really isn’t any other bar that is known as a “leather bar” in DC. The Green Lantern “turns leather” one weekend each year when Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) is going on, but otherwise, it’s as much of a twink bar as anywhere else.

My response: “Okay, you want to show me?” Honestly, I couldn’t believe that I had the nerve to say something like that, but that is what fell out of my mouth. The cop just shook his head and I moved on.

It was obvious that he was making judgments based on what I was wearing, and probably was trying to be funny, not realizing with whom he was speaking. And you know what? Too bad. Or, “so what?” If he had made an issue out of it, I probably would have explained in clear terms, “yeah, I’m gay, I like leather, I have a partner who does, too!” But he didn’t say anything else and neither did I.

It also demonstrates that this retired cop thought I was straight (I mean, there aren’t any bikers who lead motorcycle rides and interact with cops and ride a big Harley who are gay, are there??? LOL!)

I spoke with him again as I was getting ready to leave. He asked me how my wife felt about being left alone on Mother’s Day. I don’t know where in the world he arrived at the assumption that I had a wife. We had not talked much… so he just assumed. I told him, “I’m sure there will be lots of chores waiting for me when I get home,” but I deliberately didn’t push the issue about the fact that my spouse-equivalent is a man. This guy was just plain oblivious, and I didn’t have the time or energy to correct false assumptions all day.

2. Another guy looked at my belt buckle, which clearly says, “665” on it, and said, “one less than hell, huh?” Ooops, I didn’t change it. The 665 Leather store gave it to me when they made my leather breeches. The guy who made a remark about the buckle understood what 665 means by the choice of its store name, “one number short of hell.” I really didn’t think much about it, but I agree, it gives a message that perhaps I didn’t intend to give in a public gathering with families around. I was walking when that other guy said what he said to me, so I kept moving and didn’t say anything.

When I got home and removed the breeches, I changed the belt buckle to something less ostentatious.

Oh well, these things happen when you have gay fetish gear that you mix up as biker leathers and ride with and attend straight biker events.

Life is short: keep your cool.

While I was in San Francisco in March, I had a couple hours free, so I decided to stop by the Mr S Leather store in the SOMA (South of Market) district. Over many years, I have purchased a lot of my leather gear from them. They make good stuff, and have quality leather. They do good tailoring as well.

I remember my first visit to that store back in 1991, some 20 years ago. The store was in a different location then. It was small and dark, and crowded too. (Actually, there were probably 3 or 4 people in the store, but it felt crowded.) Scared the bejeebers out of this curious guy. I don’t know why I was so afraid. I did not buy anything on my first visit.

However, I saw some things that I liked, so my next trip to San Francisco, I screwed up my courage and went back to Mr S. This time, I was there by myself with one employee. The guy greeted me nicely and asked what I was looking for. I told him that I wanted to look around. He let me explore.

I spotted what I was looking for: a pair of leather jeans and a leather shirt. Back then, all the leather garments that they sold were black. I picked out what I liked, and tried it on. The shirt fit fine but the jeans were too long. The store employee was very helpful — he measured my legs and asked me to give him the jeans to have them hemmed. A short while later, the jeans were returned (the person doing the hemming worked on an upper floor). I put the garments in a bag and left.

I wore those leather jeans and shirt a lot. I loved how they felt and how they looked. Subsequently, as I both became more mature and self-confident, I returned to Mr S a lot — and bought a lot of leather gear!

Since I have so much leather gear now (most of it is custom made), I didn’t think that I would see anything that I would want to buy when I visited Mr S again. But it didn’t hurt to look, and admire the gear. They carry a lot of rubber and alternative types of clothing, too, as well as tons of sex toys, and some boots. Hmmm, boots — last thing I needed (’cause I have everything that they sell and didn’t need expensive duplicates). And the sex toys — I tell ‘ya, if I weren’t the confident man that I am, I probably would have run out of there screaming. Gosh some of that stuff looks intimidating and painful. But there I go again — being judgmental about stuff that other people are interested in; just not me.

The store staff were friendly as usual, and were laid back and let me explore some more. Nowadays, Mr S carries a lot of leather gear with colorful accents, or made completely from leather in colors other than black — red, white, blue, hunter green. Their adjustment to offering colorful leather reflects both the times, and their accurate perception that some of us older guys already have all the black leather we will ever want or need, so to entice us to make a new purchase, they have to offer something different.

Then I spotted just the thing: a black short-sleeved leather shirt with red pocket flaps, epaulets, and collar, with a red stripe accent on the end of each sleeve. Wow, cool! Very different, and to me, very interesting.

Thankfully, they have different sizes of their various garments, and I found one — the only one — that was my size. I tried it on. It fit fine. Perhaps a little tight, but I know that as I exercise more this Spring, I’ll loose a little weight in the middle and also I know that leather stretches slightly when it is worn.

The shirt was marked down a little bit — I didn’t know why. The price was right. So despite having to pay humongous sales tax, I bought it. Okay, so I’ll help the local economy. (I could have avoided paying the sales tax if I bought it on-line and had it shipped to my home which is not in California.)

Now, before you go asking about signals that I may be giving, the answer is “no.” Red leather has nothing to do with the Canonical Hanky Code, where red-on-the-left means doing something sexually with a fist (maintaining my G-rated status of this blog … you can figure it out.) I’m not into that. But I do like the contrast of red leather with black leather.

To complete the look, I got a very good quality red leather tie from 665 Leather in West Hollywood, California (on-line). I’m not sure where I will wear this outfit, since I don’t hang out at leather-oriented runs or fashion shows any more. But I’ll enjoy the shirt, and wear it when I ride my Harley. I’ll also wear it on occasion when I go about my daily personal business. For example, I had this shirt on when I went to a local building supplies retailer last week. Two customers saw me and said, “cool shirt, dude!” LOL!

Life is short: enjoy leather!