Bulges and Breeches

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This Tom of Finland classic is also a print that I had framed and have hung in my home. It taught me what “flares” (sometimes called “balloons”) were on leather breeches. The flares were built into riding breeches to give the rider (of a horse) ample maneuverability as he rode his horse. They work well for operating an iron horse, too. I know — I have a pair and have ridden my bike with them a lot. They make very comfortable attire.

The rest of what this image inspires in thought remains for the beholder to imagine. And there’s lots there to think about, fantasize about, and admire.

Wondering: were other leathermen inspired to get breeches with flares by seeing this image after ToF published it?

More on Boots as Art

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This Tom of Finland image is titled, “A Man and His Boot.” When it came out, I got a large poster of it and framed it for display. Man, what a striking image: the hunky stud and a tall black boot. The equestrian spur adds a touch of class. I don’t know what I stared at more — the penetrating eyes of the blond hunk, or the boot.

Were other Bootmen as stricken by the image?

The Leather Brotherhood

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The Leather Brotherhood is the name of this drawing by Touko Laaksonen, the famous artist who was better known as “Tom of Finland.” This print was released in 1980, and soon enough it was appearing, well… everywhere.

The timing of the release of this print was co-incidental with my return from a year’s education in Europe. I was coming to terms with being gay, or at least acknowledging that I liked men and wasn’t interested in women for sex.

The strong, booted, leather-clad masculine image struck me. The guy on the right in the Muir Cap, leather jacket, tight jeans, and cowboy boots and the way he is interacting with the other guys in tall patrol boots captivated me. I found a large print of this image, and put it up on a wall in my bedroom. I would stare it it for what seemed like hours. The whole masculine, booted leatherman image was both a fantasy and a dream of what I wanted to become. At least in my male image.

I may not have the body or physique, but I have the boots, leather, and gear. These guys portrayed an image that had always captured my attention, and influenced me in my choices of gear and even behavior, in a way.

Have other guys been so influenced?

Dehner Boots as Art

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Pictured here is the classic Dehner Bal-laced Patrol Boot, from a photo on the website of a boot retailer (used with permission.)

I was speaking with Mike the other day when I placed an order for a pair of these boots for a police officer from France who is coming to Washington, DC, next week to attend a special international police conference. My visitor works in a major city in France, and wears short tactical boots on the job. He has moved up in the ranks and no longer rides a motorbike or goes on patrol, but his heart still is with the beat officers.

He told me that he has always admired the appearance of Bal-Laced Dehner Patrol Boots, and had always wanted a pair. We exchanged many email messages, half in French, half in English, and weren’t getting anywhere because my French is awful and so is his English. We discovered that we both can communicate more effectively in Italian, which is how I finally figured out what size he wanted, and what he thought about the appearance of Dehner Patrol boots.

Questi stivali hanno un aspetto di un pezzo eccellente d’arte. Posso scegliere di mostrarli nella mia casa piuttosto che li porti sui miei piedi.
These boots have an appearance of a fine piece of art. I may choose to display them in my home rather than wear them on my feet.

He told me that he has also seen this photo (to the left) that has been circulated on the Internet for years. It’s original source is from the Big Black Boots website. He said that he had the image reproduced and enlarged and is hung on a wall in his home. However, the quality of the photo is bad since it pixellated when it was enlarged.

Actually, that is how he began to communicate with me. He saw images on my website of my Dehner Boot Collection and asked in a very nice way if he could have a higher resolution version of two of the photos from my website. Usually I delete the original hi-res images from my hard drive, else I chew up memory. However, I had one of the original photos that he requested, and I sent it to him. He said that he had the image printed in a large format (0.5m x 0.8m) and is hung on a wall in his home. Wow — I never really thought that some of my boot photos would be admired so much as to have a cop from France want to hang it on his wall.

I look forward to presenting my new-found friend his new Dehners next week. Despite having plastic shafts, the boots really do look beautiful. I will be interested in meeting him, and learning more about his work and outlook on life. It’s funny how boots bring people together, and when they find out that they have much to talk about in addition to a mutual interest in boots.

Life is short: appreciate how boots can be art!

My First Pair of Boots

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There is a thread of responses to a question about when you got your first pair of boots, and how old you were when you knew you were “interested” in boots on the “Boots on Line” discussion board.

I replied to it, thinking back to the days when I spent summers on a family horse ranch in Oklahoma. I was surrounded by cowboys and their boots all the time. I got my first pair of boots at a very young age, and I don’t quite remember how old I was — probably age 5, wearing those cute little-boy boots that they made at the time.

I remember that a sister was getting married when I was ten years old, and having quite an argument with my mother when she tried to drag me to a store to get a new pair of dress shoes. I insisted on wearing my boots. At first, my mother tried to talk me out of it, but realized that I wasn’t going to budge, so she just dropped it. I think she thought I would feel funny wearing boots when everyone else was dressed up at the wedding reception. Actually, quite the opposite happened. I loved having my boots be the center of attention!

From then on, it was boots only. I spent most of my time “back East” where I live now from about age 10, only going back to Oklahoma for occasional visits. In my early teen years, Frye boots were all the rage. I clearly remember wearing Fryes in Junior High and High School. I know that I must have had some regular cowboy boots, too, but I think I wore ’em out or trashed ’em (or both.)

I remember being fascinated by watching some other guys in class who wore harness boots. Soon enough, I got myself a pair, and wore them almost exclusively. I couldn’t stop fiddling with ’em during class, pulling on the harness straps until they were stretched and almost drooping on the floor. It was kinda cool, in a high-school-kid kinda way.

At age 18, I had saved enough of my own money to buy my first motorcycle. Along with it, I got myself my first pair of “bad-ass” engineer boots, made by Sears. I remember a guy in high school who always wore engineer boots. I think he was my first crush, though I didn’t really know it.

Anyway, I can remember placing the catalog order for those boots, then getting the call that they were ready. I rode over to the local Sears store and picked up my boots. I tore the box open and put them on right in the parking lot. I thought “I had arrived.”

I still have those Sears engineer boots and most of my Fryes, though no others from my earlier years. Anyway, I thank my buddy Bob for initiating the thread on BOL and some fond memories of my own.

Hard-workin’ Old Chippewa Engineer Boots

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These “old Chips” (steel-toed engineer boots made by Chippewa) worked hard all day long on Sunday. The day began when I pulled them on at dawn, prepared a big breakfast, then paid a very early visit to a local home supplies store to get a few things, then my partner’s favorite K-Mart to get a few more things.

By 7:30, we began work on our home renovation projects. I was able to get more of that flooring put down in our upstairs hallway. It required lots of precise cutting at odd angles for the parts of the hallway that go around corners and over to an atrium that overlooks our lower level. Unfortunately, the tools required to make these cuts are in my basement workshop, so I must have gone up and down two flights of stairs at least 50 times. That’s okay, I can use the exercise!

While I was doing that work on my own, my partner was painting. He’s the painter of our partnership. He painted all of the baseboard and closet doors in our master bedroom. Seven doors and 70 feet of baseboard is a lot to cover!

We broke early for lunch. These boots clomped around on the deck while I grilled some burgers and veggie toppings. Then… back to work!

We called it a day about 2:30, and were happy with what we both had accomplished. It was such a nice day, I decided to hop on my Harley and go for a ride. I dropped over to see an elder bud who hasn’t been feeling well. I wasn’t able to stay that long, but it was good to see her and give her a smile and a hug.

I climbed back on the Harley and rode some more through some backroads and byways not too far away from where I live. These Chips loved the ride. I stopped along the way at a roadside vegetable stand. Totally without intent, the boots sunk in some mud while I was waiting to pay. The stand operator handed me a paper towel and said, “sorry about that. Use this to clean up.” I wiped the mud off my jeans, but left it on the boots (LOL!)

Off I rode toward home, with sweet Maryland corn, cucumbers, green peppers, and tomatoes in my Tourpak, and mud on my boots which dried and flaked off during the return ride. When I got home, my partner called me into the back yard. He was irritated with a couple of bucks that were trying to get to the bird food. I set up our motion-activated sprinkler which deters the deer quite well. And oops, the boots and jeans got a little wet in the process! Oh well, they got cleaned up a little.

I took the boots off and stood them up on a rail of our deck to dry in the sun. The boots deserved a rest, as did I. My partner and I showered in our two-man, two-headed shower, then relaxed in our hot tub. Following that, I put on some patrol boots and breeches while I prepared a steak dinner with fresh vegetables that I bought a few hours earlier. My partner loved them! (I wish I could eat corn and peppers, but they don’t agree with me.)

Life is short: work hard, then relax and enjoy!

Following the Pack

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I served as sweep, “tailgunner,” or “tail,” whichever you want to call it, for a group ride on Friday. We rode through the beautiful highways and byways of my home state of Maryland to the Antietam National Battlefield, the site of the bloodiest battle of the U.S. Civil War.

It’s fun riding in this position. You can watch all the other bikers ahead of you, and have no worries about losing the group (if I were leading it), since all I do is follow along.

The position is important, in case someone has a problem with his bike or is involved in a crash, the sweep rider implements emergency response procedures and renders first aid if necessary.

I enjoy riding in groups, listening to the rumble of fellow Harley motors, and seeing the sights along the way. It was a nice ride on a nice day!

I call the image below “Independence Day in Small Town America” — one of the small towns we rode through still had flags flying on every home facing the main street, and some had red, white, and blue bunting on display. There’s always a church or two with a tall, white steeple on main street. It’s nice to ride through these small towns to remind me that my home state has much of what composes America The Beautiful.

Life is short: ride your ride!

What’s Not Funny — at all!

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On Friday night, my partner and I attended a dinner that was part of our state’s HOG (Harley Owner’s Group) Rally, which is being held not far from where we live. As part of the dinner, a local comedy troupe performed. The six members of the group who were there are undergraduate students at my alma mater, the University of Maryland.

Most of the comedy routines were rather lame, but the performers were trying. I’m not quite sure they knew what would be funny to a bunch of middle-aged bikers. However, about 15 minutes into their series of routines, a black male who was part of the group was introduced to give a stand-up routine. What spilled out of his mouth was astonishing. He made many disparaging remarks about gay people — over and over again. Not just one “joke,” but a continuing series of bigoted, intolerant, and completely ignorant statements.

“I don’t mind gay men as long as they are masculine and watch football. What I hate are the prissy guys, as all of them are.”

This is what was ringing in my partner and my ears when we got up and walked out.

I am a white gay male. I would have been lynched if I got up and gave a stand-up routine with jokes about black people.

This kid should be ashamed. He should not get away with this ignorant behavior.

I have to give most of the adults in the audience credit — they weren’t laughing.

Believe me, I am following up. However, the follow-up may not be what you might expect. I am reaching out to ask to sit down with this kid, and educate him about who a gay man is. I will let him know how hurtful, insensitive, and totally absurd his statements were — along with a healthy dose of incredulity that his behavior put the words “black bigot” together in my mind for the first time. I hope I can help him understand that what he was saying was totally wrong and should never, ever, be repeated again.

What would you do? If you had a chance to sit down with this kid, what would you say? Comments are welcome! Either click on the comment section of this blog, or if you just want to tell me what’s on your mind, write to me privately.

Where Do You Find Masculine Gay Guys?

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Frequent visitors to my blog come here because they enter a question like “Where can I find masculine gay men” into a search engine like Google which directs them here. Perhaps it’s because I have written blog posts before about masculine gay men. Being one, I know something about which I speak.

In looking for a masculine gay man, one first has to overcome believing certain stereotypes about gay men. (See this blog post from September 3, 2010).

Masculine men project confidence. They walk, talk, and behave in a positive, secure manner. Straight men who ridicule gay men are demonstrating insecurity and fear, as well as a reflection of social stereotyping that they have been misled to believe.

But back to the topic — where are masculine gay men found? Well, it is somewhat easier to describe where they are usually not found:

  • gay bars, in general
  • dance clubs
  • at the mall (shopping)
  • on-line

If I were looking for a masculine gay man, where would I look?

  • On a hiking trail
  • On a recreational sports team or league
  • At a real rodeo (not a gay rodeo)
  • At a guy on a motorcycle, perhaps riding with a group
  • in a local pub or bar, frequented by the general public, not a segment of society

I have joined, unjoined, reviewed, and looked at dozens of social networking websites, including the most popular general sites like Facebook, MySpace, Bebo, Friendster, and others, as well as those that are gay-oriented, like Recon’s family of websites (WorldLeathermen, Bootedmen, etc.), Gearfetish, BLUF, Hotboots, and others. There are masculine men who participate on these sites, but there are also a lot of wannabe leatherdudes, drama queens, and lonely people. And a lot of participants on the gay social networking sites are bottoms. Masculine men tend to be Tops. It’s hard to tell who’s who by a web posting anyway. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who post misleading content and use photos that do not represent who they are today.

If you are looking for a confident, sane, safe, normal masculine man, my advice is not to rely exclusively on the Internet. As I said, there are some masculine gay men who participate on various websites, but not that many. And it takes a long time to discover them, make a connection, build a friendship, and perhaps meet. Geez, I participated on hotboots.com for a long time before the masculine men whom I have befriended closely and I connected.

Instead of relying on on-line sources alone, I suggest: get out! Join a club! Get involved in your community! Join a team (even just to help out if you can’t or don’t want to play)! Socialize with straight people!

I observe that masculine gay men tend to hang out with straight people (and gay people as well) — masculine gay men are secure enough in themselves that they do not feel that they have to socialize only with gay people.

Perhaps a group in the unlikliest of places may have a masculine gay man in its midst. For example, my best friend AZ is very active with his Catholic church and its activities. Several men in some “straight” motorcycle clubs that I know are gay. They don’t wear a sign. In fact, they may still be quite in the closet. Eventually, though, as you get to know people, you’ll find out.

Don’t sign up for the next gathering of the leather-clad clan just because a lot of dudes in leather will be there. Wearing leather and boots doesn’t make a man masculine. His self-assured attitude, secure nature, and confidence does. Heck, I’ve seen more than my share of once-a-year leather queens at these events. The attendees aren’t quite what the advertising projects.

In summary: break that bubble. If you are a gay man who is interested in finding another gay man who is confident, secure, safe, sane, and masculine, then my advice is to open your circle and socialize with all sorts of people in activities that you would enjoy doing. Be yourself. Smile. Relax. Enjoy. It will happen — you will meet that guy. You just gotta look in a wider circle.

Life is short: relax and enjoy the ride!

My Brother’s Influence

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My twin brother, bless him, is always on my case about “not dressing the part.” He continually pressures me to “dress up more” since I work in a management position. I deal with many elected officials. I often represent my organization in meetings with officials from government agencies.

I have relented to wearing a tie when I have to go to these meetings, and even a jacket (if I absolutely must.) But I still steadfastly say “no” to dress shoes.

Or so I have said to my brother, who thinks that I am being more than stubborn. “Sei sempre così testadura!” he extolls.

He got “creative” this year for our birthday (still weeks away). He sent me a gift certificate from Kenneth Cole. He suggested that I get a “decent pair of shoes” with his generous gift in advance of national conference that I will be attending in Nashville later this month, and at which I will have to wear a suit most of the time (yuck!)

Well, I looked at the website and available footwear. My stomach turned into knots and I got a bad headache. Seriously, I can not consider wearing dress shoes. I can’t even consider wearing sneakers. Dress shoes make me ill. (Sorry to the shoe fetish guys — you have your interests and I have mine, and in this case, our interests do not intersect.)

I was considering “re-gifting” the gift certificate to my partner, but he stopped me cold when he said, “how would J [my twin] feel about that?” And of course I would tell him, if he didn’t know already. (That “twin-thing” is alive and real for us. He always knows what’s on my mind.)

I agonized over this for a couple weeks. Monday morning, J called me and said, “you haven’t gotten the shoes, have you? You won’t, will you? You’ve got that conference coming up, but this whole ‘shoe business’ has probably caused you a lot of agony, hasn’t it?” Man, that guy knows me. Guilty as charged!

Then he sent me back to the Kenneth Cole website, and suggested that I look at the “n-different” boot. The style is being discontinued. Other so-called boots that Kenneth Cole sells are just plain ugly (IMHO). But the “n-different” boot was, well, “different.” It’s a boot, at least. A lace-up, which my best friend “AZ” detests. But… it’s a boot. So I ordered a pair.

These “boot-ettes” arrived Tuesday (without even having to pay for next-day service!) I put them on and wore them to work yesterday, with a Harley tie that my brother gave me a few years ago. I’m wearing this stuff to prove to my brother that I can wear something a bit more dressy to work. Funny, at our staff meeting on yesterday, six people commented on the Harley tie, and two on the boots. “New shoes? Nice!” said the boss.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them. (Even if it kills ‘ya!)