Monthly Archives: April 2011

Fire Guy Responds

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Not to be left out, my local Community Hero has written the following piece as a guest blog for me. Thanks, buddy. I value and appreciate your contributions to our community and its safety, and our long and enduring friendship.

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Call me “Fire Guy.” I work in the Fire Department that serves the county where BHD lives. I’ve known BHD for a long time. We have worked together on a lot of community projects over the years — mostly on senior citizen home safety projects.

He calls me his “Community Hero.” Actually, BHD is MY Community Hero. This is what he has done for us:

1) He speaks up and attends a lot of public hearings when issues related to our Department are on the block. He continues to communicate behind the scenes with elected leaders in our county, never letting them forget what he (and our Department) consider to be important.

2) He advocates for legislation that helps residents of our County be safe — from home fire sprinkler systems (like he has in his home) to fire drills in businesses to safety checks for kids’ car seats — he’s always someone we can rely on to keep the focus on these important matters. I’m not allowed to “lobby,” but since BHD knows all these people from his long service in our County, it’s nothing for him to pick up the phone and get these people on the line, and passionately articulate the finer details so we get the support we need. I haven’t seen anyone who serves purely as a caring citizen-volunteer do that better.

3) He voluntarily leads a “home fix-up for safety” effort twice a year. Over the past 12 years, his work has led to over 1,100 homes of seniors have improvements installed so they can live there more safely. He gets donations to provide better lighting, new smoke alarms, CO detectors, non-slip mats for the bath, grab-bars, and similar things for people. He has raised over $90,000 in donations to support this work, which is an amazing feat. (He claims he’s not a fundraiser. Ha!)

BHD calls me his “community hero” because I go around and give fire safety talks, work with local fire departments to train them on how to do fire safety education with kids and the community, and keep our Facebook and Twitter feeds up-to-date with relevant information. He frequently comments on my Facebook posts to strengthen our Department’s message.

To me, he’s the true hero. He does this because, as he says, the paybacks are two things: knowing seniors and the community are more safe, and also for the smiles. He says that a smile is worth more than anything he could be paid in dollars.

I have read his blog and the posts over the last few days, and asked him if I could join in. So here I am, paying tribute to my Community Hero. Thanks for all you do!

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Closing note from BHD: I did not edit what is written above, though I wanted to take out some of the superlatives. Honestly, I am not all that. I am honored to work closely with a man who does so much in service for our county and our community. I think we make a great team. Thanks again, my friend. See you soon!

Bloggetory Commentary

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Some people have commented to me, privately by email, that they noticed that I had two guest blog posts from straight men in a row on this blog, owned and (mostly) written by a gay guy.

My point all along has been that I am really no different from anyone else, gay or straight. I am a man who cares for his partner, family, and community; works hard in a professional position and enjoys his work; likes to ride his Harley and regrets not having enough time to ride as much as he would like; wears leather garments that he has invested in over the years; and likes boots (and has a rather large collection.) Some guys collect stamps. I collect (and wear) boots.

I most sincerely appreciate the guest blog posts that I have received and posted on behalf of two men with whom I have communicated about boots, about motorcycling, about life, and about similar interests. I have also posted dozens of blog entries from my (straight) twin brother, as well as several guest posts from some other straight guys, here, here, here, and here. And not to leave anyone out, collaborated on a post with a gay man, here, and posted one from a gay cop, here. Just goes to show two things: 1) I look forward to receiving and posting guest blog features that relate to themes of this blog (boots, leather, gay/straight relationships, motorcycling, caring for others). Also 2) gay guys and straight guys aren’t that different — the only major difference is the sex of the partner we have. No.big.deal.

If you haven’t read the comments on these recent blog posts, you should. The comments commend this blog for not going into the gutter with porn-type writing, images, and such. I keep this blog G-rated for a reason. It is a public blog. If you want that kind of stuff, you know where to find it. The internet is full of it.

What my partner and I do behind closed doors is our business — sorta like what my siblings do with their opposite-sex spouses is their business, respectively. We are adults in monogamous relationships. That’s it; ‘nuf said.

We all can get along just fine in this world where we have common ground. We really aren’t all that different, but it IS the differences that we each have that makes life interesting. Gosh, life would be awfully boring if we were all the same.

Life is short: enjoy solid relationships with good people. Sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with it.

A Motor Officer’s Story

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This is a guest blog post by a motorcycle police officer who works in a county sheriff’s office in a U.S. southern state. He wrote to me two years ago to ask some questions, and then noticed my “writer’s block” post a few days ago, and wrote to me again. He contributed the following post to appear on this blog.

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My name is … well … it doesn’t matter. Call me Officer X. I have been serving the citizens of my community for ten years, and have been riding a motor for the past seven. It’s not easy work. Lots of hostility sometimes when I write a cite, but as an officer whose blog both BHD and I follow says, “if you got stopped, you deserve it.”

I found BHD’s website when I was searching for information on why my Dehner boots hurt my ankles when I wore them. I discovered — after the fact, of course — that Dehner boots need to be broken in manually by bending them at the ankle to get a straight crease BEFORE putting them on. I found that out on BHD’s website and his blog.

I asked him some questions a few years ago, and appreciated the informative and cordial response. I haven’t written to him since … until the other day … but have been following his blog since I found it.

I have a wife, three kids, a dog, and another child on the way. It’s fun being a father. It is also interesting to serve as a motor officer. But you can find out about that in other places on the web, on blogs, and such. What I’m saying is that I am a straight guy; yet, I find BHD’s blog informative, interesting, eye-opening sometimes, and helps me understand what a life is like being a gay man in a straight environment. There were a lot of things that I wasn’t aware of. I think his blog has helped me serve the citizens where I live, gay or straight.

BHD asked me to answer some questions. Here goes:

1. What do you think about the boots and uniform?

I like to wear a uniform. Sharp, clean, pressed, with shined boots. Comes from my background in the military. I get perturbed when I see fellow motor officers with dirty, crappy boots. It makes them look like they don’t care about their appearance. Otherwise, I don’t think about it very much. It’s what I wear. The boots are a requirement. I like to wear them, but when I get home, the boots come off, get cleaned and shined, and then I put my sneakers on and go play with the kiddos.

2. How many pairs of boots do you have?

I have 3 pairs of motorboots. I get a new pair every year (except this year because of budget cutbacks). I wear older boots when I am on traffic duty, especially in bad weather and when I am stuck in a cruiser instead of on my motor. I wear my newest boots when I have escort duty or in court. I don’t own any other boots. (Sorry, BHD, I don’t wear boots off the job.)

3. What do you do with your old boots?

Throw them away. By the time I toss them out, they’re trashed. While BHD has told me that there would be a market for “cop worn boots” … I’m not into that, and I don’t want to deal with ebay or having strangers contact me about my boots. No way.

4. What manufacturer of boots do you prefer?

I like Dehner boots, but as BHD said, Dehner boots get damaged easily. I ride a Harley and there are times when the bike’s exhaust pipes have melted the side of the right boot. Never happens to the left. My Department will buy regular Dehners for me. I have also worn Chippewa motorboots. They’re fine, but the leather seems to be thinner and they wrinkle and sag at the ankles. I don’t like that. My Department doesn’t allow engineer boots, so I don’t have any of those chippewa high shine boots that BHD has.

5. Do you ride a personal motorcycle?

I had one, then the kids came along and my wife “suggested” that I get rid of it. I wasn’t riding it very much, so I sold it. Other officers in my unit have personal bikes. I seem to be carting the kids around in the minivan a lot these days, anyway. No time to ride when I’m not on duty.

6. Last question: you said that you learned something from reading my blog. What did you learn?

Lots of things… I guess first of all, not all gay men are prissy. No really, that’s what I thought for a long time. I’m being honest. Seriously, though, I learned that there is embedded discrimination in the law. I am a man of the law, and enforce it. The laws I enforce are not about gay things, but being a servant of the law, I have learned that some laws force some people to have to deal with things that hurt them. That bothers me. Like BHD can’t get his partner’s health insurance coverage like my wife can. BHD’s partner may have an inheritance tax if he outlives him, where my wife automatically gets the house and our assets tax-free if I die before she does. Things like that. It’s not fair. I’m all about fairness.

Another thing that I learned is that people are people and everyone is different. I knew that, of course, all along, but I had some misconceptions and held stereotypes about gay men. Like many people, I called them “gays” until I realized the term is insulting. BHD has done well to explain how labeling hurts.

I didn’t know any gay people and didn’t know much about them. Then I found out that two guys in our Department are gay. They act like BHD does — just regular guys. I had thought that if we had any gay cops, they would wash out during training or say or do things that would be noticeably … well … “gay.” I learned how to look past the stereotypes and look at people for who they are, not for behaviors I might have been told (incorrectly) to expect from gay men. And my fellow cops who are gay will have my back and I’ll have theirs — first they are trained officers. Being gay has nothing to do with it. (I have had to sit some of my fellow officers down and explain that.)

Through this blog, I learned that the lifestyle isn’t about being gay. BHD’s lifestyle is being a decent, honest, hard-working, and caring man. Someone I’d like to have as a neighbor. So to sum up, I learned that there isn’t a “gay lifestyle” as others have said. This newer understanding about people (gay or straight, black or white or whatever) got me appointed to a special Task Force in our County that draws together reps from county agencies with reps of various groups so we can understand each other better and suggest policy changes. (You didn’t know that, did you BHD?) I enjoy it.

Thanks BHD for the information that you provide, and for the dialogue.

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Closing note from BHD: thank you, Officer X, for this great blog post and for answering my questions publicly. You embarrassed me a little bit, but thanks for the compliment on my character. I’d like to have you as a neighbor, too. Congratulations on your appointment to the community Task Force. Your attitude is spot on for this assignment. Ride safe, and thank YOU very much for your service.

A Booted Man in an Unbooted State

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This is a guest blog post written by a man with whom I have been exchanging email for a while. He has written to me about some of the posts on this blog which he told me have been both informative and some have been amusing (like my “amusing google search” posts that appear from time to time.) He’s a teacher and enjoys wearing boots, but in a U.S. state where few men wear cowboy boots on a regular basis. The photos with this post are pictures of some of the boots in his personal collection. Here’s his story.

By: The Only Booted Man in Town

I am a nonconformist by nature. I hate doing what other people do, and despise doing things because they are trendy. Maybe that’s part of why I wear cowboy boots in a part of the country where most guys don’t.

But there’s more to it than that. Let me get on the leather couch for a minute and relax, and let my mind wander to the past. Ahh, there we go.

Here is my bootman story.

When I was in high school, cowboy boots were cool for guys. We were just coming off the “Urban Cowboy” thing, and boots were all over the place. Except on my feet.

I was a nerd by nature, and not well-respected by my peers. I was shy as well, which didn’t help things. Yet I lusted after a pair of boots. Don’t know why. Just really liked them. Finally right before Christmas, my mom and I were in the mall browsing around. We passed a display of cowboy boots in one of the stores. Looking at them, I thought, “Man. Do I actually ask for a pair?” I did. That Christmas morning I found a pair of new boots under the tree. I was in love. I put them on and wouldn’t take them off. Now as I look back, I think, man, those things were terrible. They were made by Fortina in Brazil, tan, with buck stitching on the side. They had two-inch stacked heels, and really were not that great to walk in, but I loved them nonetheless. I wore and wore those things. I still have them and occasionally still do wear them. Did I become the most popular guy in school? No. But girls still did notice them, which is more than what had happened to me before. I kind of liked being a couple of inches taller (once I learned how to walk in them.)

Other trends happened. Boots were replaced by Jazz Oxfords (ick), and my beloved pair of cowboy boots sat in the closet. But I couldn’t get rid of them. So I kept them. High school turned in to college and grad school. Marriage and two sons happened. And yet those boots sat in the closet. My wife even asked me once, “How come you never wear your kickers?”

Then, out of the blue, one day, I put them on. And fell in love all over again. I was that couple of inches taller, walked a little prouder, felt a little more manly. Hmmm…. I wonder if there are any cowboy boots on ebay. Let me look here for a minute.

Alakazam. Boot Acquisition Disorder (BAD) hit really hard. Before I knew it, I owned over 35 pairs. Yes, a modest collection by bootman standards, but a lot for me. I have more shoes than my wife! I wore them every day at home and around town. At first I was self-conscious. Too gay, I thought. Too manly. Too whatever. I googled “are cowboy boots gay” and ended up a BHD’s website (yes, BHD, I was one of “those guys” with the weird google questions). Slowly, but surely, I stopped being so self-conscious about them and wore them in different places, like the junior high school where I work. That took a lot of guts. At first there were a few comments, some by kids, some by male teachers, but they have stopped. (Where’s your horse, pardner?) Now boots are a bit of a trademark with me.

That’s the story. But why? Why do I wear cowboy boots here in the North country where we are thousands of miles away from the South and the West?

Part of it is that they are masculine. I am a quiet man by nature, and definitely not a jock. Can’t throw a football worth a damn. I’d rather work with textiles than power tools. Never even learned to ride a bike. But I love to ride horses. English, though. Not Western. Go figure.

Part of it is the fact that not everybody else around here wears them. I kid that I am the only booted man in town. And for the most part I am. I am also only one of two men in town with a handlebar mustache. But who cares?

I wear them because I like them. I wear them because they are comfortable. I wear them partly for the Marlboro man mystique. I wear them because my wife likes it when I wear them. I wear them too because they represent independence, individuality, and strength.

Most of all, I wear them because I am me.

So there, in a nutshell, is why I wear cowboy boots.

Writer’s Block Broken

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While this blog has been “on pause” for a couple days, I am happy to report that I have received not one, not two, but three guest blog posts, and two questions that are appropriate for blogging about.  One guest blog post is cowboy-boot related, another is from a motorcycle police officer, and another is from my twin brother, who contributes here frequently.  These posts will appear over the next week.

I sincerely appreciate that my appeal for ideas worked. I am always open to suggestions for things to write about, questions to answer, or guest blog posts from others who have something to day about wearing boots, leather, or other issues that I deal with on this blog from time to time. It’s great when people contribute and help out.

If you have any questions, blog suggestions, or wish to contribute a guest blog post, write to me using this form or send me an email if you have it. (I do not publish my email address because nefarious spambots find it and then go crazy.)

Life is short: appreciate contributions!

Pardon the Pause

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Pardon the pause… I am plumb out of ideas for what to write about.  I haven’t had much time for it. That darn thing called “work” gets in the way (LOL!), as well as some emergencies at home.  (Don’t worry, my partner and I are well… just having to deal with the challenges that home ownership presents from time to time.)

Come back again… or give me some hints of something you would find interesting to read about on this blog. Thanks, have a nice day!

Riding to Nowhere

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I had a very productive weekend doing some activities for my senior pals, then working on our home with my partner.

The weather finally got warm enough on Sunday afternoon to go for a long ride on my Harley. By noontime, it was 55°F (13°C), which was a bit cool, but with thick leather pants, a leather shirt and leather jacket, thick gloves, and tall Wesco boots, I felt fine.

I went on this ride with a buddy who knows the back roads of our home county exceptionally well, and is a very skilled rider. We rode and rode and rode … to everywhere, and to nowhere. My friend took a turn on what he thought would be an interesting road… until it dead-ended at a farm with sheep and cows. We about died laughing.

It was great to get out, have some practice honing my riding skills which had become rusty after a long winter without much riding. I enjoyed riding with my friend who is such a great guy to ride with. He rides very safely, has a great sense of humor, and is a very nice person.

Pics follow. Enjoy! Riding season has begun!

Out Riding

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Today I finally will break out those biker boots and leathers and go for a ride with a friend.  Each of us wants to get out to enjoy a short ride, each on his own Harley. I haven’t ridden much since last fall, and I need some gentle reintroduction and experience, as does my buddy.

When riding for the first “real ride” of the season to blow out the dust in the engine (so to speak) and to regain experience in motorcycle operation, I need to be by myself on my own bike, so I can practice starts, stops, and emergency maneuvers. I have a friend who would enjoy riding with me as a passenger, and I’m looking forward to having him back in the saddle with me — but not today. I need some time to regain my comfort in motorcycle operation, and the weight of a passenger and concern for his safety would make the day’s agenda (regaining my comfort-level) too complex.

I am not sure how far or how long we will be out — but just getting out has been long overdue for this biker whose cabin fever is just a few degrees shy of the cabin fever that a buddy is experiencing in Vermont. 🙂

Pardon the dust, enjoy the rumble, and feel the throttle give thrust to my bike. Finally… April… It.is.about.time!

LC, hit me up and let’s plan a ride soon! Can’t wait to see you and ride with you again as my passenger.

Life is short: RIDE!

Tree Viewing – Not

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This is the time of year when the cherry trees around the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC, are in full bloom.

In years past, whilst working in the city, I would take some time out to go view them. Now that my current job is in the suburbs, going into the city just to see the trees is not something that I want to do any more. I mean, they look the same each year, and as lovely as they are, this year we’ve decided to take a pass.

My partner works in the city, close to where the trees are in bloom. I asked him the other day if he took a walk to see them. He replied, “are you kidding?” When I probed further, he explained that the crowds of tourists were too much to bear. I understand, I’ve seen it.

I guess we can say, “been there, done that” and thus, we don’t plan to make a trek to see the trees this year. They are lovely, adding to the grace and beauty of what makes Washington, DC, so special. I am glad the crowds are plentiful, as their tourist dollars help the local economy.

If you go to see them, enjoy. If you don’t, I understand why.

Meanwhile, if you wish, you can see pictures that I have posted of past visits to see the cherry trees in bloom on my website, here.

Adding a Chain to a Muir Cap

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It is an odd coincidence in that I was considering writing a post for this blog about adding a chain to a Muir Cap — the headwear that completes the Leatherman’s attire. Then the search (see above) landed on this blog. The search result landed on an old blog post that I wrote about this topic. It was entered by someone who is a daily reader.

I just recently added a chain to an old Muir Cap that I own. Why? Not only, in my opinion, does it add style, but I also re-read a comment on that old blog post which indicated that a chain on a Muir Cap is a symbol of a Leather Master. Further, I recently read a post on Fetlife in a subject titled, “Masters Cover” in the group “A Documented History of the Lifestyle 1945-95” from this comment:

While I’m not a big fan of “protocol” … there was/is significance to the history to the dress, to the Leather, and to the cover, and once upon a time, to conduct as well.

Short version: specifically a metal (usually silver) “brim band” [or chain] indicated one was a top and didn’t switch.

While I don’t hang with the Leathermen at runs, events, or fashion shows (any more), I consider myself to be one, old skool … traditionalist … or some call “old guard.” I wear traditional leather, from boots to pants to shirts to the Muir Cap, sometimes with gloves and even, sometimes, with a leather tie to complete the outfit.

However, I don’t switch. If you don’t know what that means, read this Wikipedia article. By the way, my partner doesn’t switch either.

I added the chain to my old Muir cap for three reasons:

  • I didn’t like the plain plastic band that was on it;
  • If I wore it to a Leatherman’s gathering, then based on the comment above made by someone who knows more about this than I do, then I didn’t want to give the wrong signal; and
  • I had a chain in my drawer that fit perfectly for this use. (Don’t ask me why I had it… some things you just collect and forget about.)

Now I realize that someone would have to approach me to inquire about having sex, and possibly could use the hat’s chain (or lack thereof) to signal my versatility (or not.) My response would be, “nope, I am monogamous and am not interested in sex with you.” But my point is that I just didn’t want to give a signal that clearly is not the man I am.

If you want to add a chain or silver band to a Muir cap, it’s easy. The bands that comes with it (both across the front and across the top) are attached with a button that has two long protrusions that stick through the cap and bend flat under the headband. Simply lift the headband, straighten out the metal protrusions of the button, pull the button out, and remove the old bands. Replace them with a chain or silver band of your choice. You can find chain that works anywhere — hardware store or even a short leash at a pet store will do. I figure you can find a metal band at a fetish expo or on-line somewhere if that’s what you want.

It is a choice, and I made that choice to add some variety to an otherwise all-black leather cap, and for reasons stated above.

Life is short: old-guard Leatherwear including the Muir Cap is solid, strong, and admired by many.