Why Do Gay Guys Like to Wear Boots?

Google never ceases to amuse me by landing visitors to this blog who enter questions like, “Why do gay guys like to wear boots?”

In this instance, the question was asked by someone in Singapore, but it is a fairly common question around the world.

Okay, I’m a gay guy, and I like to wear boots.  Why?  I like how they look and how they feel on my feet.  Many men wear boots in the United States and around the world.

In my opinion, the number of gay men who wear boots is rather small in comparison to the overall number of gay men out there.  In fact, in my observation, it seems to me that fewer gay men wear boots than the proportion of straight men who like to wear boots.  I think that’s because there are fewer gay men who are masculine guys.  To me, most gay men I have met are into fashion and like to dress up, including wearing dress shoes. 

Masculine men, gay or straight, like boots.  I’m one of ’em.  The boot-wearing has nothing to do with my sexual orientation.  It has to do with the kind of guy I am — your regular “Joe Schmoe” in leather and boots.  No big deal.  I am who I am.  Other guys are who they are — gay or straight, booted or not.

Life is short:  stop obsessing over stereotypes and perceptions in trying to connect one thing with another that really are not related.

Memories of Seattle

One thing that impressed me tremendously about my recent visit to Seattle was how incredibly courteous the drivers in the area were. I drove a lot while I was there, going from town to town up and down I-5 for various meetings. People everywhere were great about letting you in when traffic was heavy. They always used turn signals. They didn’t speed. They didn’t talk on cell phones or text while driving. Man, we have a lot to learn from them in the area where I live. DC drivers are the pits when it comes to courteousness while driving.

Following are some photos that my friend Dave took while we did a bit of touring on Sunday. We took a ferry to one of the Puget Sound islands, had lunch, and a great visit. What a genuinely nice guy. I appreciated having the chance to visit and spend some time touring such a scenic area.

Life is short: make the most of your work and travel!

Is My Twinship Unusual?

I received an email the other day from someone who has been reading this blog, and has noticed a number of “guest blog” posts from my twin brother.  Throughout those posts, and in some of his comments on some of my regular, ongoing posts, it’s clear that my twin brother and I are very close.

The person who wrote to me asked what it was like to have a twin brother, as he did not have one.  He also asked, “are all twins so close — as close as you and your brother?  And is your twin gay?”

The first part is hard for me to answer.  My brother and I had a normal childhood with typical sibling battles and squabbles.  But throughout it all, we still were best friends.  I don’t know if our relationship as twins is typical, but I’ve heard from other twins who feel as close.

The second part is not hard to answer: my twin is straight, happily married to a woman, and is secure in his own manhood.  He figured out that I was gay before I did, but loved me just the same.  That’s what is so special about our relationship.  He loves me for who I am, and I love him for who he is, as different as we are.

There are two other sets of twins in my family, and I observe that they are as close with each other as my twin and I are.  It is how we were raised.  But also, we had a “twin compact.”  That is, if you picked on one of us, you picked on us both.  We defended each other fiercely.

I also have to say that since my twin brother and I are fraternal twins, he got the good looks, physical height, athletic ability, and grace — while I got lesser of each of the genes that control those features.  As such, I was mercilessly picked on by bullies in junior high and high school at times.  My twin would always, always, defend me.  Regardless if it made him late for a class or a date.  He was always by my side.  My brother through life.

I know other people have sibling relationships that are not as close.  I am blessed, I guess.  It’s what Mom and Dad made happen by how they raised us.  They expected that their children would be close, and become good friends as adults.  Our parents’ expectations were truly realized.

While I am especially close to my twin — I know (without speaking with him) what he’s thinking and what language he is speaking and how he is feeling — I am also close to my other brothers and sisters.  I love ’em all, and I know they love me.  Gay or straight, sports-ignorant or athletic, klutzy or graceful, leather-clad or in a business suit — they love us for the men we are.

In summary: is my twinship unusual?  I don’t think so.  But I know that I have a very special man as my very own twin brother, and wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Life is short:  love your brother.

Working — in Leather

My new job is very interesting, and when I am not traveling, I work from home.  Considering that I’m at home, I can wear what I want.  Thus, I choose to wear leather — jeans and shirts, and boots (of course.)

Sure, I could probably work naked if I want, but it’s cold, and I don’t want to turn the heat up full blast.  Wearing leather keeps me warm and lets me keep the heat on a lower setting, saving fuel and money.  Being just a regular guy, it’s no problem should I need to run an errand at lunch time and just go out in my leather, pulling on a leather jacket in the process.  No big deal.

It’s “cool” wearing leather while at work!

Life is short:  wear your leather!

A Brother’s Wish

Guest blog by J, BHD’s Twin Brother

My wife and I had an argument recently — where to spend Christmas.  We live in a little flat in Paris, France, where we work.  Last year, we went to visit my brother, BHD, and see the family.  I wanted to go back this year.  My wife wanted to go to St. Tropez on the French Riviera, instead, and spend some time with two of her siblings who were also going to be there for Christmas.

Sure, it would be nice to take a holiday on the Riviera, but it’s cold this time of year and it is extremely expensive.  I very much want to come home to see my family and have an old-fashioned family Christmas.

What to do?  I called my brother, and he listened, but didn’t try to tell me what to do.  Sometimes I just need someone to listen, and my brother does that very well for me.

Our flat was very quiet for several hours.  The tension was high, and my wife and I both were feeling uncomfortable for having disagreed.  After a few hours, I gently knocked on the bedroom door to apologize.

No sooner had I said, “I’m sorry” than she showed me a printout confirming that she bought two airline tickets for us to come to Washington on 23 December.  She told me how much she enjoyed our family, and the casual, friendly, and fun atmosphere. She said how welcome she felt in my brother’s home, and enjoyed spending time with my sisters.  I think as she reflected back on our visit last year, she thought more about it and how much she would like to return — as much as me!

WE ARE COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!  Whoopie!  Can’t wait!  (Bro, don’t worry, I’ll bring my leather pants — you can provide the boots!)

Returning to my Booted Roots

Well, I’m not in Oklahoma, where I spent many carefree hours riding my beloved Palamino, Maggie.  Yesterday, I had the distinct pleasure to stay with a professional colleague who has become a good friend over the years.  She owns a horse farm north of Seattle — in the Arlington, Washington, area.  (As in “Washington State”, not Arlington, Virginia, near Washington, DC.  I know… so confusing!)

This photo shows me with some of my friend’s horses while I was feeding them.  Seems like one of the horses was more interested in my Lucchese cowboy boots than his hay!  LOL!

I had meetings last Thursday and Friday in the Seattle area, and another one south of Tacoma on Monday.  The weekend was free of meetings.  My friend invited me to come stay on her farm on Friday night.  What a treat!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t mount one of her Palaminos and ride, as my doc says that I just can’t chance re-injuring my hernia.  Instead, I helped muck out the stalls and feed my friend’s horses.  Then we sat by the fire and talked all day, while I picked her brain for professional advice and counsel.

Last night, I came into Seattle and stayed downtown.  I had intended to go out with a friend to a leather bar.  However, I had to beg off, as I caught a cold on the way out here, and I am not feeling up to staying up late being a bad-a** leather dude in a bar.  I was a good boy, and went to bed early. 

I will spend today (Sunday) doing some touristy stuff with another friend, to the degree I have energy for it. 

One more meeting looms on Monday, then I get to come home to my beloved partner, family, and friends.

It’s been a very productive trip, and I learned a lot.  The visit to my friend’s horse farm was the highlight of my visit. 

Life is short:  enjoy both business and pleasure!

Wearing Leather Often

I re-read a post on my fellow blogger’s blog, StraightJacketed, where he originally brought up a review by the so-called men’s style mag, GQ, that published an article about men wearing leather pants and stated that one had to “be cautious.” The article was filled with anti-gay stereotypes. The post about which I am referring was posted on a blog (that has been discontinued.)

What was interesting to me when I re-read this blog post the other day was the large number of comments from other guys about this issue. I am picking up on a few of those comments in my post here.

Goodness knows, I have blogged a lot about wearing leather. What one commenter said, and with which I whole-heartedly agree, Promoting the use of leather trousers is easy: just wear them often. Especially if you are “an ordinary joe schmoe”.

I resemble that remark. I am just an ordinary guy. I work full-time, I am active in my community as a civic leader. I volunteer a lot. I visit older friends and help them with stuff, like grocery shopping, getting to the doctor, or home repairs. Often, I wear leather jeans and sometimes a leather shirt and/or vest when I am out and about in my community, and these days when it is cold, I wear a leather jacket. No Big Deal.

Yes, I ride a motorcycle and perhaps that was the first “excuse” or reason for me to wear leather in public. People would often see me on a motorcycle and naturally think the two go together. But I wear leather much more often than I ride my Harley.

Another comment that was made was about the difference between men and women with regard to being sexually objectified — as with the implication that wearing leather pants (trousers) draws a sexual interest below the waist. Quote: Women are historically objectified but not men. This also explains why women can wear leather pants, skirts, or leather anything because they are seen as objects (in this heteronormative world). Once men objectify themselves, or call attention to themselves as “sexual objects” the heterosexual construct is thrown and they are left with “gay”.

Men who fear being labeled as “gay” then reject wearing leather, as they associate a negative reaction toward anything that can cause others to cast the label upon them.

As for me, I could give a sh*t. I have grown up. I am comfortable in my gay skin. I am comfortable in cowhide. I have invested a lot in the cowhide that fits me, so this “Joe Schmoe” wears it regularly.

That’s that. Get over fear-of-label and assert your independence, manly courage, and style by wearing leather as you wish.

Life is short: wear leather!

Boot Questions via Google

Every now and then, I gather questions that people enter into internet searches that direct people to this blog or my website.  I never cease to be amazed at what people are asking.  Here goes:


What’s the difference between a laredo boot and a tony lama boot?

A:  It’s the manufacturer.  Laredo boots are cheap and are not the quality of Tony Lama boots.  If you want the good stuff, go with Tony Lama.  There aren’t many other differences in style, height, or appearance.  However, there is (to me) a big difference in the comfort.  Machine-made Laredo boots are not nearly as comfortable as Tony Lamas.


tuck in jeans or not with cowboy boots?

A:  Yes.  See this post or this one.


what type of jeans should be worn with boots?

A:  Blue.  Black.  Sometimes brown.  Wranglers (to me) look best.  Levis work well.  So do Dickies or other off-brands.  Jeans & boots are a natural combination.


how long does leather lined sole boots last?

I think the question is “low long do leather soles last on cowboy boots?”

A:  It depends.  Good quality boots made with all-leather soles, such as Lucchese Classics, will last a long time.  The measurement of time is in number of hours worn — not in months or years you have owned them.  Look at the soles.  Do you see little round holes on the sole between the heel and the foot?  If so, you are seeing “pegs.”  Boots that have pegged soles are of much better quality than boots that have soles that are sewn on.  Boots with pegged leather soles will wear for thousands of hours.  Boots with sewn (not pegged) soles will wear out more quickly, as in hundreds but not thousands of hours.  Of course, it depends where you wear the boots — on ordinary sidewalks and such.  Wearing leather-soled boots on rough pavement, rocky terrain, or in water will make them wear out much more quickly.


do wearing boots make me a cowboy?

A:  I doubt this guy will “become” a cowboy simply by wearing boots.  I wear cowboy boots often, but I am not a cowboy.  I don’t ride horses (any more) nor work on a ranch.  Cowboys work with cattle, horses, and often on ranches or farms.  A cowboy is who is he by what he does, not by what he wears on his feet.


can you only wear cowboy boots with jeans?

Can you only what?  huh?  I think this means, “do you wear cowboy boots only with jeans?”  (The writer was from Texas, by the way).

A: No.  One can wear cowboy boots with a suit, with leather pants, and even though I wouldn’t do it, I have seen some guys wear cowboy boots with shorts.  What you wear with cowboy boots is your choice.  My personal opinion, however, is that cowboy boots look best with jeans, but dress cowboy boots look great with a business suit, too.  A few guys can pull off an interesting look with a pair of cowboy boots and a pair of leather jeans.  While I’m sharing opinions, I think wearing cowboy boots with anything other than long pants looks silly.


Are western boots acceptable with khakis?

A: If you have to ask this question, put your sneakers or loafers back on and put your boots away.

Sure:  western (cowboy) boots are fine with khakis.  I wear that combination sometimes when my jeans are in the wash or I’m going to a semi-dressy informal event, such a gathering as my yuppie-brother-in-law’s home or something.


Cowboy boots and belts usually made with which bird’s skin?

A:  Good question!  Ostrich is usually chosen to make a pair of boots and a belt to match.  I have seen other skins from lizard (teju lizard) and even alligator used for boots/belt combos, but mostly it’s ostrich.  Why?  Ostriches are farmed for their hides to use for bootmaking, and some of the hides (or parts of hides) are so narrow that they cannot be used for boots, so belts are made from those remainders.


Where to buy leather boot stretch liquid?

A:  In the drugstore.  It’s called “rubbing alcohol.”  Seriously, it’s the same thing. Don’t be fooled by paying 5x as much for “boot stretching liquid.”  When you read the label, you’ll find that the contents is rubbing (isopropyl) alcohol, which costs less than US$1/bottle in most drugstores.


What’s roughout leather on Wesco boots?

A:  A hide from which boots are made comes with two sides:  the smooth side and the rough side.  Roughout leather is the rough side of the skin.  A pair of roughout boots is made with the rough side on the outside, rather than on the inside.  Beware:  the hide used for a pair of roughout boots is not any more expensive than “regular” leather.  But the West Coast Shoe Company (Wesco) charges more for a pair of their boots made with the rough side showing because the perception of higher value exists and because they can.  Not for any other reason.


Can you wear cowboy boots in a horse show?

A:  I could go so many places with this, but let’s suffice to say, “yes.”


Boots inside or outside boots?

A:  Yes, this was an actual question entered into a Google search.  My answer would be….

Life is short:  wear your feet inside your boots at all times.  (The opposite is so much messier.)

Travel Warrior Tales

I mentioned in a recent blog post that my experience as someone who has flown hundreds of thousands of miles all over the world in my past life has been dusted off, tested, and re-engaged in my current life.

Yesterday, I was scheduled to fly from Baltimore to Seattle via Philadelphia. I checked the flight status before I left home, and it said everything was on time. I was dubious about that, because we were having some very bad weather with high winds and driving rain. I know from past experience that it is common for flights to be delayed or canceled when a squirrel sneezes in our area, so I didn’t think what I was reading on-line was correct.

I decided to get to the airport extra early, and I am glad I did. When I got there, an agent for my airline looked at my pre-printed boarding pass, and told me that she thought my flight to Philly had been delayed. She checked, and found that as it was showing at the time, I “possibly” could make my connection. But she and I both knew that the regional jets this airline uses to fly from Baltimore to Philly are more likely to be affected by bad weather than their larger brothers. If I waited until the departure time for my flight and found out the flight was canceled, then I couldn’t make the only connection from Philly to Seattle leaving later in the day. In other words, I would not get there on the date I planned. And because the problem was due to weather, the airline had no obligation to pay for anything. I’d just have to go home and try again the next day, and miss my first meeting of my new job — setting the stage for a bad impression.

So I began asking some questions. Here are some tips you can employ if this happens to you, and some questions that I asked the airline agent.

1. Will you look at what rebooking options are available?

While airlines have no obligation to rebook a passenger if a connection shows on their computer at the time they check that the flights will go, an agent can rebook you on the day of the flight if there is a good assumption that the departing flight may not actually go when scheduled. This is what happened to me — the helpful, friendly agent tapped away at the computer and gave me an option. This option would result in my arriving in Seattle two hours later than I was originally scheduled to arrive. When the agent gave me that option, instead of just rolling over and saying, “okay,” I asked again.

2. Are there additional options available also? (and gave her a big, broad smile, while thanking her for checking again.)

Usually, most airlines have multiple options, and they try to offer you the option on which they will not lose money (as fares are different), or on which they have more seats.

In my case, a second option was available (going through Charlotte-CLT), and resulted in my predicted arrival in Seattle a minute earlier than my original flight. I smiled and said, “thanks a lot! I’ll take it!”

The agent tapped away at the computer again, and checked my bag. She printed new boarding passes and gave them to me. I looked at the seat assignments. The seating on the flight from BWI to CLT was toward the back of the plane, but an aisle. Certainly better than a middle. That was fine, as I realized that I was being rebooked and I was getting what was available last-minute.

However, on the longer flight from CLT to Seattle, I was assigned a middle seat in the back of the plane. I didn’t like that, so I smiled again, and said,

3. Hmmm… the connecting flight’s seating assignment isn’t all that good. On my original flight, I was in 6F, up front on a window. I have been a loyal customer of [airline] for a long, long time. Look at my frequent flyer number and my record — you’ll see over 25 years of flying with you. I would appreciate it if you would consider my long-term airline loyalty and see if there is anything you can do about my seating assignment.

The agent could have refused and said, “that’s the best I can do,” or (this happens often), “you can change it at the gate.” But instead, she got on the phone and called someone. I don’t know who she called, but the result was my getting my original seating assignment back: 6F. Oh goodie, I can snooze and not be interrupted by people crawling over me to go to the bathroom.

I thanked the agent very much for her time and going to the trouble that she did to accommodate me. She really didn’t have to do it. But by being pleasant, smiling a lot, and by being complimentary without being fake-sweet, the agent was willing to work with me to make my flight better than it could have been.

Will this happen all the time? No. The airline just may not have the options or seating availability, or some agents can be stinkers. Fortunately, I was traveling on a Tuesday which isn’t as busy as other days of the week. I think I was able to get this accommodation because I was early in making such a request. I imagine that others in my predicament arriving at the airport after me may not get the same results.

Anyway, I made it to Seattle (a little late), got the rental car as reserved, and even found the hotel where this message was posted to appear today. I’m exhausted and tired, but that’s no different from before. It’s always harder for me to travel from east to west.

PS: A comment about all the stuff we’ve been hearing about the new security scanners at the airport: IMHO: much ado about nothing. This was the first time I went through it. It was simple and quick. The only difference is that in addition to removing boots and all the junk you carry in your pockets, you also have to remove your belt — and run all that stuff through the x-ray (no different from before). The new scanner was fast and painless, and contrary to some of the ding-dongs who have been posting horror stories, your naked image is not broadcast on a TV screen for all to see.

Life is short: be pleasant, persistent, smile a lot, and remember to say, “thank you!”

Blog Post 1,000

Well, believe it or not, this post is number 1,000 for this blog.  Who woulda thunk, that when I started writing about boots, leather, my home life, gay issues, motorcycling, community service and activism, and so forth, that I would reach this milestone.

Blogging has been a good way for me to let off some steam and to express myself.  I love to write (obviously… :-))

I am trying not to let blogging become a drudge, sort of one of those “gotta do’s” instead of “want-to-do’s.”  And now as I am really getting busy with my new job, including work-related travel, I know I will not be able to keep up the frequency of a post-a-day.  I will be tapering down and posting less often, but I will write when I have something to say.

Throughout the almost three years I have been blogging, this blog format has changed significantly three times with its design and layout.  Part of that has been that my blog host, Blogger, urges those changes.  But also because some new formatting techniques became available.  Also, I received feedback from some readers about things that they liked about a format, or that they didn’t like and suggested a change.  As of now, the format is stable.

The content has remained fairly consistent.  I have a wide scope of interests and activities, and they show on this blog.  I try to keep this blog focused on my avocations of boots, leather, and motorcycling.  But now and again, I continue to express concerns or commentary about LGBT issues.  I also show my heart as I love my partner so much, and cherish my relationships with my senior pals.  However, I remain true to a promise not to write about politics or religion, as everyone is so divided on these topics, and there are other places on the web for people to express political and religious views.

Thank you, my loyal readers, for continuing to hang in there with me. I appreciate it!

Life is short:  keep blogging!