I received an email the other day from someone who has been reading this blog, and has noticed a number of “guest blog” posts from my twin brother. Throughout those posts, and in some of his comments on some of my regular, ongoing posts, it’s clear that my twin brother and I are very close.
The person who wrote to me asked what it was like to have a twin brother, as he did not have one. He also asked, “are all twins so close — as close as you and your brother? And is your twin gay?”
The first part is hard for me to answer. My brother and I had a normal childhood with typical sibling battles and squabbles. But throughout it all, we still were best friends. I don’t know if our relationship as twins is typical, but I’ve heard from other twins who feel as close.
The second part is not hard to answer: my twin is straight, happily married to a woman, and is secure in his own manhood. He figured out that I was gay before I did, but loved me just the same. That’s what is so special about our relationship. He loves me for who I am, and I love him for who he is, as different as we are.
There are two other sets of twins in my family, and I observe that they are as close with each other as my twin and I are. It is how we were raised. But also, we had a “twin compact.” That is, if you picked on one of us, you picked on us both. We defended each other fiercely.
I also have to say that since my twin brother and I are fraternal twins, he got the good looks, physical height, athletic ability, and grace — while I got lesser of each of the genes that control those features. As such, I was mercilessly picked on by bullies in junior high and high school at times. My twin would always, always, defend me. Regardless if it made him late for a class or a date. He was always by my side. My brother through life.
I know other people have sibling relationships that are not as close. I am blessed, I guess. It’s what Mom and Dad made happen by how they raised us. They expected that their children would be close, and become good friends as adults. Our parents’ expectations were truly realized.
While I am especially close to my twin — I know (without speaking with him) what he’s thinking and what language he is speaking and how he is feeling — I am also close to my other brothers and sisters. I love ’em all, and I know they love me. Gay or straight, sports-ignorant or athletic, klutzy or graceful, leather-clad or in a business suit — they love us for the men we are.
In summary: is my twinship unusual? I don’t think so. But I know that I have a very special man as my very own twin brother, and wouldn’t trade him for the world.
Life is short: love your brother.