Yearly Archives: 2010

It Must Be Nice

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I had a number of errands to run yesterday and consolidated the visits to stores along a busy roadway, “the pike.” I was riding my Harley, as usual, on a warm summer’s day.

I was dressed in typical “biker attire” — Wrangler jeans, Chippewa engineer boots (pants over), and a Harley t-shirt. It was way too hot to wear leather (other than my boots.)

One of the things I was doing was making sure that changes I had made to the bike all worked. I was given a gift card from my former employer, and decided to buy a back rest for my Harley with it. I installed the back rest on Sunday, and it works great. I also relocated my GPS, and found a way to connect its audio output to the bike’s audio input for my CB radio, which connects to two little speakers inside my helmet. So now I can hear the GPS-lady yelling, “recalculating” as I make (yet) another wrong turn. LOL!

Anyway, I pulled into a parking lot at a store and parked. A guy about my age was getting into a panel truck that was parked in the space next to me.

He looked at my bike, and said, “it must be nice.” I didn’t say anything, and he continued, “you guys here in [snoburbia] have it all — time off during the day to ride your big-ass Harley wherever you please. It must be nice.”

He wasn’t the kind of guy with whom to get into a discussion. It was obvious from the tone of his voice that he was jealous, or at least unhappy, that he had to work and drive an old beat-up truck and I show up on my nice shiny Harley.

Well, you know, I worked for my bike. Every penny I paid for it was earned by my own work. I didn’t take out a loan. I saved for years to have enough money to pay cash for the bike when I was ready to get it. So yeah, it IS nice, but is the fruit of my labors. I don’t travel (for fun), I don’t even go on vacations. I don’t eat out. I am really rather conservative with my cash. Even though right now I am “between jobs,” I have saved sufficiently to live my usual life. I don’t depend on my partner to cover my share of our expenses while I’m not working. I saved, invested, and have carefully managed my money.

I realize that this guy probably has worked hard all of his life, too, and may have kids to feed and a mortgage to pay and taxes and bills, etc., etc. I have expenses too. I’ve been fortunate to plan and to save and to be financially prudent so I can have at least one “thing” that cost a fair amount of money. Okay, so be it. “It must be nice.” Yep.

Life is short: enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Can I Wear Cowboy Boots on a Horse?

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Duhhh… no, on a rhinoceros.

I just had to laugh at this google search that ended up on my blog. This question can be taken a number of ways:

  • Can I wear cowboy boots…: yes, you can. The question is, do you want to?
  • Umm… “on” a horse, or while riding a horse?
  • can you, personally, wear cowboy boots, even though you are not a cowboy? Or may only real cowboys wear cowboy boots?

Sorry, I could go on, but you get the point. I will never cease to be amazed and amused by the things that people type into search engines that end up on my blog.

Life is short: wear boots! (“on” a horse, or while riding one, or not! LOL!)

The Fam

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I see posts from time to time on the Internet in various places where people express their thoughts about their relationship with their family. Unfortunately, many of those posts have one theme in common: complaints.

Am I blessed to have the family that I have? A large, raucous bunch that above all else, holds close? You betcha!

There is an 18 year age difference between the oldest and the youngest among my siblings, and I’m second-to-last on the chain of offspring. Unfortunately, both of my parents have long since passed away, so we have no matriarch or patriarch holding us together. We are all involved with our respective lives, children, grandchildren, employers, civic work, and so forth. We are ALL different, each one of us, despite the fact that there are several multiples (twins and triplets) among my sibs — my own twin, J, included.

Do I consider my family special? You bet I do. Are they different from anyone else? Probably not, in the grander scheme of things. Do we bicker like the adult children in certain television dramas? Well, some of us think differently and have differing opinions, but we’re not so dramatic about it. If we disagree, we say our piece then move on. Love and blood really do triumph over positions on certain topics.

I was touched and honored when two siblings commented on a blog post that I wrote yesterday. They didn’t comment as much about the content of the post itself as they commented about me. Totally unrequested, unprovoked, unnecessary. But their commentary demonstrated once again several things: 1) my siblings love me unconditionally; 2) my sibs accept me for the man I am; 3) my sibs don’t judge; and 4) they read this blog! (oooooooh!)

I am honored, truly honored, to have the family that I have. We are different men and women. But as I said, we respect each other and love one another without question. My life would be much less — less interesting, less valuable, less accomplished — if it weren’t for my siblings’ unflinching support and the lessons that we learned and have applied from our parents.

So yeah, I am truly blessed with a wonderful, close, caring, thoughtful, warm, and loving family. I wish everyone could have siblings as I have. I wouldn’t read any more complaints on the internet about dysfunctional families. I would read more stories like this, about how great a family can be as children mature and develop adult relationships, as we have.

A point of clarification: I don’t call any of my siblings a “friend.” The old adage says, “you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.” That’s true — and in my case, even if I could pick a family, I couldn’t have selected better.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them. Unquestioningly. Nonjudgmentally. Enduringly. When it all comes down to it — family is your blood. I respect that, and extend my love each and every day in many ways.

Defining Myself, As A Man

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I received an interesting email the other day from a guy who read my blog post titled, “Androphilia and the Gay Man.” In it, he described his personal thoughts and feelings about being interested in masculine men and not having an interest in femininity. He replied in a subsequent email message that he’s open to hearing more from other guys who feel similarly, so if you wish to communicate with him, let me know and I will forward your message to him.

What he described is something about which I have written a number of posts on this blog over time: I’m a guy-guy, and my best half is a guy-guy, and that’s the way I like it. That is, I am a man — a masculine man — and so is my partner. That’s the type of guy I like: a man who is strong, virile, confident, secure, and has a head on his shoulders. He manages money appropriately, and doesn’t spend what he doesn’t have. He can think for himself, act accordingly, and respect himself enough not to be careless in thought, word, or deed. He is my equal, not subservient nor domineering.

If I wanted an effeminate partner, I might have married a woman. Femininity is fine — for the female sex and some gay guys who prefer to behave that way. I just am not interested in femininity. Face it: I like men. Period. Nothin’ wrong with that. I am a healthy, masculine guy who prefers the same.

Some say that guys like me are wrong, mentally ill, or otherwise. Those who believe that rubbish continue to spread it. The vile hatred of homosexuality has become more subdued in its expressions over the last 50 years, but it is still there (notwithstanding the “religious wrong” zealots, but I forgive them for their sins, as they know not what they are talking about).

The snide, off-the-cuff comments about gay men are still heard. The silly comments that thoughtless, rude nitwits attempt to make on this blog or my YouTube channel continue to happen occasionally. I’m man enough to take it (and delete such comments since all comments in all of my public venues are screened before posting).

I hear expressions by men about women in settings such as over lunch with straight motorcycle riders, or how those guys express lusting for women or parts of their bodies — as if all men feel the same way (we don’t). I’m just used to it, though I still don’t like it. I’ve quit trying to correct the world, because there are better battles to fight than “open mouth, insert foot” antics by men who are supposed to be adults.

I assert that homosexual men who like masculine men are among the latest to “come out” and some never do. Often, they feel alone or that they’re the only ones to feel the way that they do. They see, as I have, the frilly gay guys who appear in Gay Pride Parades and on some TV shows where their “gayness” is parodied. They feel, as I have, that the stereotype of gay men — into fashion, home decorating, frolicking, and wine tastings — is all that there is.

It isn’t. Let me assure you, my partner and I are not the only gay couple of “equal men.” And there are masculine gay guys out there who for various reasons, are single. I know several of them, including some of my closest friends.

Each man defines himself in three ways: as others see him (or how he thinks others see him), by how he observes others behave that imply he should behave similarly (and if he doesn’t then something is ‘wrong’), and by how he acts both toward himself (self-respect) and toward others.

What defining oneself as a man all comes down to is self-perception. If one has a healthy self-perception as a secure, confident man, who also happens to be interested in other men who are the same way, then that’s sorta what begat this post in the first place: androphilia.

It is possible for a man’s man to have an equal, loving, and caring partner who is also a man’s man. My partner and I are living proof.

I define myself as a man, because I am. I do not define myself by my sexual orientation or by subtypes within the LGBT community. That is, I do not affiliate with labels such as “leatherman,” “daddy,” “bear,” or whatnot. There are so many labels. Who I am is who I am and I don’t waste time labeling what makes me who I am. I’m a man. My sisters are women. So what? The difference is our gender. (Thank goodness we do not have differences of opinion regarding acceptance of my sexual orientation. My family loves me for the man I am.)

Life is short: be who you are.

A Leatherman Biker

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Or am I a “Biker – Leatherman?” Either way, or as the kids say, “whatever….”

I have always enjoyed wearing leather. I wear leather clothing regularly, and not always while riding my motorcycle. Leather is an investment. Good quality, custom-made gear isn’t cheap. There’s no sense in having the gear if you only wear it once or twice each year to a leather fashion show or stand around posing in it at a bar.

Most guys have a leather jacket or two, and wear them regularly. Some guys (with or without a motorcycle) have other leather garments: chaps, pants, vests, and shirts. Yeah, I’ve got it all… and wear it when the weather is suitable.

The other day, a box arrived at my door. I had been waiting ten weeks since I ordered it — a new pair of traditional “retro” motorcycle chaps. Chaps are great for wearing while riding a motorcycle, as they provide warm and protection, and look good, too. (Info on why bikers wear chaps is here.)

My first leather investment besides a jacket was a pair of chaps from a guy who called himself “The Leathermaker.” He made custom-to-fit chaps that had a solid band across the back, and a custom closure across the front. The chaps zipped closed on the outside seam, which bikers like me prefer because an inside zipper is liable to scratch a motorcycle’s paint.

I loved those old “Leathermaker” chaps. Alas, my size has changed since I bought them in 1977. Yeah, 33 years later, it was time to upgrade. I had always wanted another pair of chaps just like those, but since D. Lyn Sterling, the guy who made those chaps, died in 1987 (reference), I thought chaps made like that were history.

Well, not… while surfing the 665 Leather website, there they were. At the time I was looking, 665 was offering a 15% discount off of any one item. It was time to act.

These chaps are hot. Woofity-hot. And really cool-lookin’, too. I can’t wait to go out and ride with them… soon.

Life is short: wear your gear!

The Intoxicating Smell of New Leather

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Okay, I admit it: on those occasions when I have visited a store that specializes in selling leather gear, such as jeans, chaps, breeches, shirts, and such, I find the smell intoxicating. Same is true the very first time I open a box in which new leathers arrive — the aroma is quite something.

Some leatherdudes take it up another notch, and describe a certain reaction that they get below the belt line. I’m not that way. I’m not saying that reacting to the smell of new leather with a rise below the waist is bad. I’m just saying that the smell alone doesn’t cause me to have such a biological reaction. Perhaps it once did, years ago, but now that I’m in my 50s, I … (digress….)

The look, the feel, and the smell altogether takes a leatherman to a different dimension, at least momentarily.

…then you try on your new leathers, look at yourself in the mirror, and take it all in. How they feel, how they look, how the leather creaks as it breaks in new creases, and how it smells. Yeah, quite the feeling as the senses of touch, sight, hearing, and smell all come together.

I didn’t mention taste, ’cause I really am not into that. There are all sorts of chemicals with which leather is treated during the tanning and finishing processes to make it shiny and soft, and those chemicals aren’t something I want to ingest. So I don’t.

But four senses out of five are great to have working for you when you’re experiencing new leathers. Come back tomorrow and find out what I got!

Life is short: wear leather!

Hot Weather Biker Boots

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If there is a “more traditional” boot worn by bikers, it is the engineer style boot with one strap across the front, and a wide, round toe. I have a number of engineer boots in my collection that I often choose to wear while riding my Harley. They’re comfortable, take abuse well and look, well, “biker-worn.”

Last week, a new pair of engineer boots entered my stable. I found a good sale on a pair of Chippewa “Bomber Jacket” boots. These boots are brown, which is unusual for an engineer boot, and is one of the reasons why I bought them. Also, they are 11″ high. All of my other engineer boots are 17″ high. I usually prefer the taller boots; however, when the weather is toasty hot, then a shorter boot is better because it’s cooler, yet still protects my ankles and legs.

The only thing surprising to me about these boots is that the top of the boot shaft was actually narrower than any other engineer boot that I own. I had to open the buckle at the top so I could put my foot into each boot, then re-buckle it to close. Frankly, I prefer just to pull my boots on and yank ’em off, so having to unbuckle and re-buckle them is a pain-in-the-ass feature that I don’t like.

Also, while the boots came with an insole, the supplied insole was kinda cheap and soon became uncomfortable within the first hour that I wore these new boots. I replaced the manufacturer-provided insole with some good quality gel insoles, which made the boots feel much better.

The boots run a little large — common for Chippewa engineer boots — so there was plenty of room for a good quality gel insole. It took up the extra room anyway and made the overall fit better.

I like these boots. The appearance is different. The color of the leather is interesting. The leather itself is as soft and grainy as an old, well-worn bomber jacket — thus the name.

Life is short: wear boots!

Website Downtime

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For the third time in less than a month, the server that hosts my website went down last evening. Back on June 16, the server was down for well over four hours. That’s disappointing, because thousands of people visit my website every day. When the server is down, people get an error message due to a “timeout” and go somewhere else.

Oh well, the world won’t end. It’s not like I have an on-line store and rely on sales from visitors. I just get disappointed when this happens, because the hosting service ordinarily is exceptionally reliable and has offered 100% “uptime.” This is the same hosting service that Larry of hotboots.com has used for about 12 years, and he recommended it highly.

I have been so pleased with their service and features that I am hosting five other websites on their servers now. I am hoping that I don’t have to migrate all of my websites to other servers due to this company’s servers becoming unreliable.

Meanwhile, if you have visited my website and experienced a timeout error, please come back.

Life is short: have no downtime.

Come on!

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Do you ever find yourself at your computer saying, “come on, come on, work already!” This happens to me more often when I look at certain websites that are slow to respond. My patience wears thin waiting for it to load. If those websites only had ears. LOL!

My internet connection is very fast, so that’s not the reason for slowness. Some websites are hugely complicated with internal functions that cause them to be very slow to load. For example, Lycos email, which was one of the first free web-based email systems out there, recently “upgraded” to “Zimbra” email which is absolutely horrid! It is so damn slow, it frequently times out and you can’t get anything done. I have finally migrated totally off of all of the old “free” web-based email systems that I once used (that includes “Excite Email” which has also been ruined by “Zimbra”). The nitwits that run these systems have destroyed their ease of functionality, not only with stupid “upgrades” that don’t work, but also with advertising that comes with sound. Arrrggghhh!

Fortunately, my Apache2 server on my own computer is humming along great, along with my network and other applications, so no complaints there. But web-based applications that are function-heavy? Fuggetaboutit!

This is one major reason why my website is written pretty much in straight HTML with just a few small javascripts and CSS style sheets. The Boots Wiki is written in PHP, which functions rather quickly, even though the scripts are large. But I am trying to keep it simple, so pages load quickly and the site doesn’t bog down, driving visitors away from frustration. I aim at the lowest-common-denominator, which includes people who still have dial-up internet access and who use outdated web browsers like Internet Explorer.

An early tease: I am seriously contemplating a total re-design of my website, so if you have suggestions about what you want to see, don’t like, or new features to add, let me know. Thanks.

Life is short: no time for slow internet applications. If you can’t make it load fast, then don’t look for me to use it.

Post-Work Benefits

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I went to a meeting yesterday morning, then checked in on my aunt, but as soon as I got home (about 11:30), my partner and I got busy on more projects. Work-work-work, but we were productive.

We ordered a new sofa for our family room a couple weeks ago. It will be delivered in another week or two. Meanwhile, the delivery service does not remove old furniture, and it was in such bad shape it wasn’t suitable to donate to charity. (It was literally falling apart.) Being the frugal sort that we are, we didn’t want to pay someone to pick up our old sleep sofa that the new one will replace. Instead, we dismantled it, and I used my power saw to break it down into smaller pieces so it would all fit into my truck so we could take it to the transfer station (most people call it “the dump,” but in snoburbia where we live, we call it a “transfer station.”)

Thank goodness I had the foresight to bring the sofa outside before cutting it apart. When I used the saw on it, the stuffing inside the seat and back started to come out. Small yellow clumps of sofa stuffing started blowing everywhere. We were able to contain most of it, but I sure am glad we didn’t have the sofa disintegrate inside the house, or it sure would have been a mess to clean up.

We got the sofa taken completely apart and stuffed into the back of my truck, and off we went to the transfer station. It was amusing, and perhaps reminiscent of an old I Love Lucy episode, because some of the stuffing was flying out the windows of the truck as we were driving down the road.

Anyway, we got it unloaded fairly easily. We were sweating like crazy, so we decided to take a shower when we arrived home. We enjoyed our two-headed, two-man shower. Ahhh…

Life is short: enjoy the benefits of your labor.