Monthly Archives: June 2009

Four generations

Posted on by

Family means so much to me. Pictured, left to right: me, my lovely 94-year-old aunt for whom I care regularly, and her grandson with his daughter, my aunt’s first and only great grandchild. Her grandson came all the way from California to visit with his Grandma. This was the first time my aunt has ever seen her great granddaughter in person, with all the energy that a 3-year-old brings to life. We had a great time, and the light in my aunt’s eyes was such a delight to see.

I am so very blessed. Gen 1: my father’s siblings; gen 2: my siblings and first cousins; gen 3: my first cousin once removed; gen 4: my first cousin twice removed. That’s what it is called in genealogical terms.

While my aunt’s son, father of her grandson, was not here for this visit, he has been here before, and even went for a ride with me on my Harley! A warm heart, great soul, fond friend.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

The Big Emergency

Posted on by

This past week you have been reading auto-blogs. That is, messages written and posted for display on this blog well in advance of their appearance. This message, however, is recent; I wrote it just last night, to display this morning.

The week deteriorated on Wednesday where my partner realized that he had a prescription medicine mix-up. He received two meds on June 11 for a skin infection on his foot. He took the meds as directed. He ran out of one of them rather quickly, and had it refilled on June 16. We noticed that the pills in the second bottle did not match the pills in the first. He began to shake and he became, let’s say, “quite upset.”

I took all of the bottles back to the pharmacy. The head pharmacist admitted that they erred, in that they put the pills for two different meds in the wrong bottles. The unfortunate result was that my partner overdosed on one med, since it was prescribed at 3x/day, when he should only have been taking it 1x/day. At the urging of his physician, off to the emergency room we went for urgent blood tests and a liver test.

My partner does not handle medical emergencies well, especially when he is the center of the emergency. I advocated for him throughout the process, and took care of his needs. Thank goodness for Maryland’s progressive laws, as I never once had to have an argument with anyone about my role in looking after my partner’s needs, or receiving information from medical professionals about his condition.

Fortunately, the overdose was not of a medication that could do long-term harm, nor produced bad side-effects. The situation was more of a scare than anything else — but it could have been much worse. Some have asked if we are going to sue the pharmacy. Our response is, “why?” They admitted the error, paid for the emergency room visit, and disciplined the pharmacist who made the error. The State Pharmacy Board is also investigating. While we likely have a “good case,” a resulting punitive award just would spike the cost of medical care in the long-run. We aren’t out to make money out of this. We just want things to quiet down and for my partner to be okay. He’s okay; just frightened.

Anyway, I’ll be back to blogging more actively now that my partner is okay and I can begin to get back to a more usual multi-tasking routine. This past week was rough, but we survived.

Life is short: read the package inserts!

It’s Not Wesco’s!

Posted on by

I was just reading a blog that amuses me. It is called Apostrophe Abuse. Its tag line states, “Links and visuals illustrating an orthographic pet peeve.”

I continue to be annoyed but try not to let it bug me (too much) by the number of educated adults who add an apostrophe and an “s” to make a word plural.

No joke, here is something from an email that I received the other day:

I want to thank the volunteer’s who helped out at the (event) last week. We had a great showing! Thank’s also to the RC’s who led ride’s.

Or this one:

I have always wanted a pair of Wesco’s. Those boots are cool. I have some questions about Wesco’s.

Worst but funniest example yet:

Its a good picture of your Wesco’s. I like it’s composition.

Okay, enough already. The plural of Wesco is Wescos. That’s it. I have many boots made by Wesco. I refer to them as “My Wescos” or “My Wesco boots”.

We will not be able to take adults back to elementary school to learn the simplest of lessons about what an apostrophe does in the English language. Primary uses are either to indicate possessive form of a word (This blog is BHD’s Musings) or a contraction, such as it’s a nice invitation but I can’t get away since I have much to write about the abuse of the written English language.

Think of it this way: if you would not write boot’s as in I like to wear boots, then you do not need an apostrophe in the phrase, those are great looking Wescos!

The examples above were written by people who were born and educated (?) in the United States (who should know better.) I am forgiving of typos, misspellings, and grammatical errors from those who write to me from other countries where English is not the primary language.

But theres no ‘scuse for Merkuns to get it so rong so offen.

Life is short: dump the apostrophes!

Green Savings

Posted on by

I opened our bill from the power company the other day. The bill for the month of May is always our lowest, as we are usually able to refrain from using air conditioning (yet). With longer day length, we do not need to turn on lights for more than about an hour before we go to bed at night.

However, I was pleasantly surprised when I read past the gobble-de-gook to the bottom line of the bill to see that the power company owes us $55.24. That’s right, our “bill” was a credit instead of a charge.

Eleven years ago, almost to the day, I was building our house. We had finished the framing and had the roofing rafters installed when the solar panels got delivered. It was still months before they would be installed, so I recall figuring out a location of where to store them securely until it was time to do the installation.

I had researched what application would be best for a residential setting at our latitude. I bartered the installation for electrical work on another guy’s house and by September that year, the system was working.

Generally, the solar panels produce enough electricity to provide adequate power for our household’s ordinary needs, such as for the refrigerator, freezer, clocks, and some (fluorescent) lighting at night. When our power demands are greater than that, such as when we need to have the air conditioning turned on, then we draw power from the grid. But in those weeks with cool weather and long days, our system actually produces more power than we use, and our meter runs backwards. That’s right, we sell our excess power back to the power company. The company is required by law to pay us for the value of the kilowatts of power produced over demand.

Most months of May, we still incur a bill, though it is low. This was the first time that prolonged cool weather (since it has rained so much) with long days resulted in a huge credit. While my neighbors are griping about their electric bills being so high, we’re basking in the glow of a wise decision to install solar when we built the house.

Let me tell you, installing an active residential solar power system is not for the faint of heart nor is it cheap. We figure that even with tax credits and other government incentives provided at the time of installation, it took about seven years for us to realize enough savings on our electric bill to pay for the added cost of installing the solar panels and hooking it all up. As an electrician, let me tell you, the hookup was incredibly complex. However, we are happy with our decision, and have the “greenest” house in the neighborhood! (Kinda goes well with our green lawn LOL!)

Life is short: go green!

When Coming Out Does Not Work

Posted on by

Last week at the grocery store, I bumped into someone who I remember being close to in Junior High and High School. She got married almost immediately after high school graduation, and moved with her husband out of state. She never came back for high school reunions. I had not seen her since we both were 17 years old.

When we recognized each other, we smiled and said hello. It was evident that we both were in a bit of a hurry, so we exchanged contact information and promised to follow up.

That evening, I sent her an email. I brought her up-to-date since high school graduation. I mentioned the names of some of our mutual friends and what I knew about how they were doing. I also said that I had built a house and settled down with my partner, and explained that we had been together 16 years now, are happy, and are going strong. I also remember that her mother and mine had gotten to know each other, so I asked about her Mom and sadly explained that mine had died.

Two days later, I received a reply, which surprised and deeply disappointed me. At first, she caught me up on her life and family, including the status of her Mom (who has Alzheimer’s) in one paragraph. Then in five subsequent paragraphs, she ranted about my being gay, and said things like “when did you go do that?” and “why?” and then railed all the anti-gay quotes from the Bible. She explained that she had become Christian, and that she wanted to “save me.”

Oh please… it’s obvious that she has become brainwashed from what she has been taught to believe. It’s so sad, too, because when I knew her, I thought she had a fairly open mind. Not now….

I replied by saying this:

Thanks for your message. I’ve been gay since I was born, but did not realize it until I was in college. I did not “become” gay, I was born that way. If you can not accept it, then I’m sorry. I live a solid life with a man I love deeply, and who loves me. We work, we care for our families and do civic work in the community. We’re no different from any other couple who loves one another.

Then I signed my name and that was that… and I have not heard from her again.

By serendipity, a very similar situation happened to my best friend, AZ, who got in contact with his former third grade girlfriend, who replied to his catch-up email with a similar response to the one that I received. So sad… so disappointing.

What’s really sad to me is that people who call themselves Christians tend to act the most hateful toward anyone who is not like them, especially toward people who are gay. This contradiction in the teachings of the Bible is beyond me. But I know I am not the only one who has pondered this irony. You’re take?

What a View!

Posted on by

Some days I just love my job! Tuesday was an inspirational day.

Photo above: my transportation. Behind it: Ft. McHenry, the fort that was attacked by Royal Navy ships during the Battle of Baltimore in the War of 1812. It was this battle, witnessed by Francis Scott Key, that inspired him to write a poem titled “Defence of Fort McHenry,” later named The Star Spangled Banner when it was set to music and became the U.S. National Anthem in 1931.

Photo above courtesy of a colleague.

Photo below: among the sights I saw, our Maryland Chesapeake Bay Bridge.

Posted in Job

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Posted on by

You have all seen them… the bikers with the patches that indicate affiliation with a club or (h) chapter on the back of their jackets. Even me — I have an old leather jacket that has (h) chapter patches on the back.

BTW, I am not allowed to say what [h] stands for on this blog, but if you really want to know, write to me and I’ll explain.

I have been saving for a while, and have decided before the cooler, Fall weather sets in, to get myself a real honest-to-goodness Langlitz Columbia Jacket, as described here. Yep, it’s time to move up to the best leather jacket for bikers that the world has to offer.

I had a long conversation with Dave Langlitz the other day about whether he could have patches sewn onto my jacket when it is made. Yes, he said, he could have that done. But he also gave me some information that caused me to re-think that option.

He said that it is likely that the jacket will outlive me — and that it could not be sold on the used market with patches sewn on it. He also said that if in the unforeseen circumstance that the jacket is made for me but it didn’t fit, he could not re-make another jacket since the first one had patches on it.

Dave further suggested that perhaps I have the patches applied to a vest, and wear the vest over the jacket. Then if I wanted to go somewhere without the patches showing, I could just take the vest off. However, considering the bulk of the jacket, a vest on top of that and on my body would make me look like the Abominable Leatherman. This really isn’t an option for me.

My partner suggested that I have the patches applied to a solid but thin piece of leather which I could attach to the back of the jacket with snaps. He further suggested that I consider using another thin piece of leather for the patches that go down the front right side that face forward, and snap it on as well. Snap-on- snap-off.

Knowing myself, I wear my old jacket with patches regularly, and haven’t really had an occasion where I did not want to have patches on it. For example, I don’t go into gay bars (anymore, but even if I did, I wouldn’t wear that jacket. I have others.) From knowing how and when I wear my old jacket, I know that I would likely get a lot of use out of the new one if patches were on it. However, that does not negate the diminution of the resale value of the jacket down the road.

Should I or shouldn’t I? I conducted a poll on this blog, and it came out rather evenly divided. Oh well, I’ll figure it all out eventually.

Life is short: get the best gear and wear it!

A Gorgeous Ride

Posted on by

Everything came together today, including time for a long motorcycle ride with some buddies. The temperature was perfect — low 80s (27°C) with a very low dew point, so it did not feel sticky. And it finally stopped raining! The work on our home renovation needed to take a pause. My aunt and a few others I check on regularly are doing well, so it’s time to RIDE!

We rode on Maryland’s twisty and hilly byways through three counties (though it seemed like more) to the Antietam Battlefield. The scenery was spectacular, with the sun filtering through the tall trees, and (most) all you heard was the thundering roar of the Harleys in front of you. I rode mid-pack, which is a comfortable place to be. Not in charge out front, not in the rear safety position — just out for a ride with fellow safe riders as we prepare to lead this ride again for visitors to a rally in a few weeks.

For visitors to this blog from outside the U.S., Antietam is an historic location, now turned into a national park. The battle that occurred here on September 17, 1862, was the first on “northern” soil in the U.S. Civil War, and was the bloodiest single-day battle in U.S. history, ever. It is located near the town of Sharpsburg.

I so much enjoyed getting out and shaking the dust off my Chippewa Firefighter boots (which are my most favourite to wear on a long ride when the weather is warm). I got a little sun (though sunscreen blocked the burn) and put 160 miles on my trusty Road King. It truly was a very special day.

Life is short: let’s get booted and ride!

Oh Yeah, It’s Pride

Posted on by

Happy Gay Pride Week in DC. I had almost forgotten about it. Well, actually, I keep up with the news and knew that this past week was Gay Pride Week, but it’s really not a big deal for my partner and me. In fact, the only reason why we went into the city on the culminating weekend of Gay Pride Week in 2007 is when my friend Larry (of hotboots.com fame) was visiting. We joined some other guys for a rather poorly-attended “hotboots” party at a now defunct bar in the city.

Honestly, there are many other things that we would rather be doing today than go into the city and mill around with tens of thousands of LGBT people and their supporters. There’s something about gay pride festivals that draws out the queeniest of queens whose actions and statements (when shown on TV) demonstrate the stereotypes that straight people perceive about gay people. It just kinda makes me nauseous. And since my partner is the recluse’s recluse, he would much rather be anywhere alone than surrounded by all those people.

Later today, a group of us will saddle up on our trusty throbbing motors and head out to the Antietam Battlefield in Sharpsburg, Maryland, on beautiful back roads all the way. This break was earned after more work on our home’s hallway renovation project yesterday. Uggghhhh…. but I digress.

Why not attend the Gay Pride festival? …Been there, done that, got the sunburn. It truly is much too intense for us. Plus, it’s not an event where I would expect to see many people I know. My social circle is pretty much “suburbanite home-body.”

Further, we have no need to go to an event to surround ourselves with gay people so we can be “who we are.” Heck, we are who we are all the time, regardless. We live openly in an accepting atmosphere both where we work and at home, as well as in the community where I volunteer quite a bit. It’s not necessary for us to go to a Pride event because we’re already out, 365/24/7.

Some guys have told me that they like to go to the Pride festival so they can check out other guys or be entertained. Well, not us. I am not interested in checking out other guys when the best one is by my side. The entertainment at Pride festivals does not suit our tastes; I can live without the bunga-bunga-bunga throbbing noise played loudly at gay events. The throbbing noise I like best is that of my Harley (LOL!).

I anticipate that I will be home from my motorcycle ride in time to grill dinner out on the deck, fill a tall glass with ice water, put my boots up and sit with the man of my life while we watch the sun slowly sink behind the trees in our forest. That’s the life. Far more quiet, peaceful, and certainly much less intense and dramatic. Ahhhhh….

Life is short: know that you can have pride in being who you are without having to attend a once-a-year festival to display it.

Balance: The Company You Keep

Posted on by

If you define balance by the company you keep, then look no further than my sphere of influentials. They truly are the ones who balance my life. They keep me sane, focused, involved, and loved. Who are these life-balancers?

  • My wonderful partner: He stands with me in life and has profoundly improved the “me” I have become. I can not say enough about his qualities of faithfulness, caring, integrity, and … (this is a G-rated blog.)

  • A great family: a large raucous bunch who treat their little brother with respect, dignity, graciousness, and lots of love. Yet they never let my head grow too big; they’re very good about keeping me grounded.

  • My twin brother: He is in every sense of the word my “bestest friend” and soulmate. We are different men. He loves to wear suits, ties, and dress shoes and I can’t stand those things. Other than that, he’s pretty cool. (smile).

  • My 94-year-old aunt: She is a warm, wonderful woman who I love dearly, and care for regularly. Her memory is lacking, but her charm is endearing.

  • A circle of close friends. I am afraid that if I tried to name all of them, I would forget to mention some, which wouldn’t be right. Let’s suffice it to say that I am richly blessed with caring, thoughtful, and generous friends who keep me safe, sane, grounded, and who help me in ways too numerous to count. There are those I have known my entire life and some I have met more recently. They listen, they love, they care, and I am indebted to them beyond what mere words can describe.

  • Senior buds: they get regular attention and give it back. They have opened my eyes to so many things and help me to remember that life truly can be joyful if we want to make it be that way.

  • Fellow motorcycle riders: they give me a chance to have a break from the chores and endless errands to get out and enjoy the scenery and camaraderie of fellow enthusiasts.

To have a balanced life, one has to surround himself with the best people who won’t be afraid to tell you when you’re getting out of whack, when something could be done better, when you need to be grounded, or who will give you that occasional “attaboy” when you’ve done something good. They stand by your side through thick and thin, and love ‘ya all the same. They never get catty, dramatic, or nasty when providing advice or ideas.

I truly believe that my life is indeed well-balanced because of the company I choose to keep. After all…

Life is short: let those you love show they love you (and love ’em back!)