I have written on this blog that I do not like to attend weddings — most particularly, I detest traditional wedding receptions. I don’t like dressing up in a suit, fakey people, drinking alcohol, the food (usually not food I can eat), and dancing.
But I have made an exception to my “no wedding” rule in that on this coming Saturday, I will be attending a marriage ceremony, and I will be a best man to two men. What?
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I wrote a series of posts on this blog about two guys — a motorcop and a firefighter — who were adjusting to being out as gay men at their respective places of work and interacting with their (straight) co-workers, family, & friends, and were in a relationship with each other.
After two years of serious courtship, they were engaged to be married last May. I was very happy for both of them.
I thought they would marry last autumn, but…
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I’ve heard it all now.
Yesterday, I received a phone call from someone I have worked with, sporadically, on local government advocacy issues. We advocate for different matters — he is very active on the LGBT advocacy, while I engage in more mundane issues like transportation, roads, zoning, construction on in-fill lots, and so forth.
This guy and I met about ten years ago when we both volunteered to start up a local LGBT social group, but as is typical for gay things, the group started with a flash, then within a couple years, the A-gays who ran it flitted off to other things and the group fell apart.
Anyway, the phone call from this guy caught me off guard. He wanted me to know that he was getting married, but he did not want my feelings to be hurt because he was not sending me an invitation to the wedding.
Frankly, I felt…
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I just had to laugh when I burst the stereotype bubble for yet another typical straight dude whose assumptions were blown to smithereens again by interacting with me. Oh well… (giggle.)
Last Saturday,
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Some follow-ups to yesterday’s post about same-sex marriage.
I have a regular dialogue with a friend who is straight and is wrapping his head around the same-sex marriage thing. Here are some points from our dialogue that explain how I feel about “gay marriage.”
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Yesterday, the United States Supreme Court refused to hear appeals from five states that ban same-sex marriage where Federal appeals courts serving those states (Indiana, Oklahoma, Virginia, Wisconsin, and Utah), effectively making same-sex marriage legal in these states.
I had a few people, including my boss, ask me if I were celebrating.
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I wrote a post the other day titled Keeping the Marriage Strong, where I provided what I thought were the best tips from other bloggers who comment about married life.
I have additional, personal, actions that I have done since the first days of developing my relationship with my spouse, long before we married, that I thought I would add.
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I am an avid reader. I see a number of blogs and articles about maintaining the most important relationship in the world: the relationship with a spouse. This post goes deeper into that relationship, and is written primarily for those who are married (or in permanently committed relationships as I considered the relationship with my man to be before we could legally married.)
Here is a summary of some of the best ideas I have read — and employ — to keep our marriage strong.
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I dunno, you decide…
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461 days ago in the county seat of the county and state of my birth, I was given this ring and had it placed on the third finger on my left hand. I returned an identical ring to the man I married.
With this ring, we married. Such a simple, uneventful, private ceremony, yet so profound…
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