Dehner Boots Go To Work on the Harley

When I woke yesterday morning at 4am, I felt chilled. I reached for the remote control to adjust the thermostat for more heat while snuggling closer to my partner for one last warm embrace. Dayum! It felt like winter. I’m not ready for it. Not ready at all.

There was a prediction the night before for some rain. I thought, then, that with wet roads and cold temperatures, that riding my Harley to work would not be an option.

We threw off the covers and went about our morning routine. As I dressed, I pulled on a pair of cowboy boots to wear with my dress clothes to work.

I stepped outside to retrieve the morning newspaper, and thought, “hmmm, it doesn’t feel that cold. It didn’t rain after all!” I went back inside and checked the thermometer. It was 43°F (6°C) — above my riding threshold. Change of plans for the vehicle to use to drive to work — the Harley! “Switch to motorcycle boots” was my immediate thought.

I went back to my bedroom, pulled the cowboy boots off, and as I was putting them away, I saw my tall, Vibram lug-soled Bal-Laced Dehner boots in the closet and said to myself, “sure, they will be perfect!” I pulled my socks up over the ends of my pants, then pulled the Dehners on over my pants. Comfortable! Great traction! Terrific feel!

I went downstairs to the kitchen. I handed my partner the lunch that I made for him, wished him a great day, and kissed him goodbye as he ran out the door to get to the Metro for his job in the city.

I got my lunch and other stuff that I needed to bring with me to work and went into the garage to get the bike ready to ride. I pulled out my truck and rolled the Harley out. After my usual T-clocs safety check, I donned my thick leather chaps, warm biker jacket, put on my full-face helmet, warm gloves, and off I went.

Okay, some of you may be wondering, “did he really wear his pants tucked into his Dehner boots around the office?” While I did tuck my pants into my boots before taking off on my ride, I did that in order to keep the pants clean. Somehow, road crap tends fly around and make my pants dirty, even if covered with chaps. However, when I parked the Harley and took off my chaps, I pulled my pants out of my boots and pulled the ends of my pants down over the boots. That way, my boots look much like laced dress shoes, and unless I sit across from someone and cross my legs, no one is the wiser.

It is possible, therefore, to wear Dehner boots at a typical business office with dress clothes and not have the boots be noticed (as an ostentatious display.)

Sorry for no photo — I tried taking one with my cell phone, but I could not download it directly into my computer due to some technical problem which I do not have the time to figure out, and I am not about to pay the carrier’s exorbitant fees to send photos to myself. (I will not pay for a data plan or a per-usage fee.)

Life is short: wear tall boots to work!

Engaging Activities

Reporting from (near) Seattle…

I am having meetings all this week at a federal agency facility north of Seattle. Kinda funny — each time I enter the facility, my cowboy boots set off the metal detector at the door. I just turn to the guard and say, “it’s the boots” and he laughs and lets me go through.

The meeting that I am engaged in facilitating is going very well. So well in fact that we’re getting done earlier than anticipated. I expect that we will be “done” for the day today (Thursday) by noon-ish.

I will be picked up by a friend who is a local big-wig in my profession. We will have lunch and then she and another friend and I will go into the City of Seattle and be touristy. Unfortunately, the weather is degrading, so I expect some rain during the only time I can go play tourist. But that’s okay — it’s the company that is most important.

I transfer locations to support another all-day meeting on Friday at a laboratory where research is done about hazards that can happen on U.S. coastlines. After the thrill of the conference is over, another friend (a former student of mine 25 years ago) who is a big-wig now in her own right will pick me up and take me to dinner with her partner. I will enjoy catching up with this friend who I have admired and supported for so many years.

I will stay at a hotel close to the airport so it will be quicker and easier for me to catch my very early return flight home on Saturday morning. I can’t wait to return home to my man and get my life back into its usual routine.

One benefit or shall I say, consequence, of facilitating a meeting well is that I have been invited to return to speak at two more events next year back on the West Coast — in California and Oregon. Sure… happy to help. It’s what I do.

Life is short: be engaged and love what you do!

Communication is the Key

I was reading a blog post by a police officer who described whether it was good or not good to talk about the job with one’s spouse, girl/boyfriend, or in my case, partner.

There is one school of thought that you should keep your job at your job and not talk about it at home. The officer’s line of thinking was the opposite, and is consistent with my own. That it, he said, and I feel the same way, that “holding back what happens to you at work will eat your soul and will be the demise of the greatest reward of your personal life — your marriage” (or in my case, all I’m allowed to call it is “my relationship” because I am prohibited from marrying the man I love. But that’s another story for another time….)

Further, he said, “Too many first responders equate their whole identity in being whatever it is they are professionally. All too often, we are guilty of paying more attention to our lives at work than the one at home.” He concluded that paragraph by saying, “It’s like cheating on your family.” That statement caused me to ponder, and agree very much with his profound insight.

While I am not a first responder, I can directly relate to what he said. I had a soaring career for almost 20 years with a respected national organization. I realize now in hindsight how “married to the job” I was. I lived and breathed that job every moment of every day. One may call that behavior “dedicated.” I learned later that being so dedicated was taking me away both physically and spiritually from my best half — my partner.

Bad things would happen on the job, and I would try to suck it up and say to myself, “I’m not going to burden him with that bullshit.” But I would dwell on that crap in my mind, and it would affect my whole demeanor in how I related to my best half, my family, and my friends.

I kept rationalizing, “I have a life outside of work. I deal with work at work and can leave it there, and have a life with my partner, family, and friends outside of working hours.” I was fooling myself. That was the biggest lie I ever told — and worse, I told it to myself so much that I believed it for 20 years.

Things came to a head with a major conflict at that job in late 2004. I was so angry and frustrated with daily garbage that when I came home, I unloaded my emotions in unhealthy ways. If my partner didn’t love me as much as he does, I’m sure he would have left me. But instead of fighting with me about my personal issues, he became the listener that he is and asked me questions in a gentle way to probe what exactly was going on. So I let it all out. What I had bottled up came flowing out in a torrent of yelling, screaming, and a lot of tears.

Sure, I made some mistakes and that led to this conflict at work. But my partner, being the loving, caring, man that he is, never once said that I did anything wrong. He defended me with absolute certainty that I was right and to hell with everyone else at the job who were making me so miserable. Within a week of finally opening up to him, I quit a job that was eating me alive.

My situation had gotten to the point of “my job or my life” and it was an “either-or.” There was no compromise. No middle ground. My partner never threatened to leave me, but made it clear that my behavior was making me very difficult to live with. But more importantly, he pointed out what I was failing to see — that my misery was affecting not only my mental health, but was making me that negative person that I never would want to be. He sort of held me to a mirror and said, “is this the man you want to be?”

He was so right. His intervention saved my soul, saved our relationship, and saved my sanity. Quitting a job that I thought I loved was the best thing in the world I ever could have done. And it would probably have happened sooner had I talked with him about it years earlier.

I am a fairly resilient man. I also know that my ability to bounce back to the man I want to be is absolutely dependent on communicating with the best reward of my personal life — my partner.

I communicate a lot with many people, but there’s nothing on the level of communication with your partner that is the same. Sure, my twin brother can read my mind and my senior pals are sensitive to share their wisdom. My siblings are close, listen well, and love me, “regardless.” It’s wonderful to be surrounded by people who “have my back.” But there’s nothing quite the same as your spousal-equivalent being there to listen, support, and … as I always say,

… show those you love that you love them.

I definitely agree with Motorcop: “Communication is key.” Keeping the dialogue going maintains a healthy relationship with your best half and maintains the integrity of your soul. Thanks, MC, for such a terrific and insightful blog post.

What I Do

Above is an image that predicts the amount of rainfall that will be generated from a major storm that will strike the U.S. East Coast starting today and through the weekend as the storm progresses north. Huge amounts of rain will fall in a large swath, and strong sustained winds will blow, too. The rain will cause massive flooding to already oversaturated land, streams, and rivers all the way up the (US Interstate Highway) I-95 corridor. Together, the wind and rain will likely cause a lot of damage and power outages.

Seems like New Jersey is going to be Ground Zero for the most intense effects of this storm. Having suffered severe flooding in March, and lots of rain hence, they’re already saturated. It’s going to be really, really bad.

I also worry about family and friends who live in the New England states (New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine) who are generally not prepared for a hurricane. Indications are that they will get socked by this one big-time.

Concerned as I am, I called my brother who was in New York City and advised him and his wife to high-tail it back home immediately. Glad I did: Amtrak has canceled train service effective Friday and for the rest of the weekend. My brother and his wife got the last of the few tickets left for a train back to DC on Thursday. They are safe with us now in our storm-prepared home (that we will not have to evacuate because it is well-built and on high ground, far inland from any bodies of water.)

This is a peek into what I do for a living: I explain this stuff so it makes sense to people and so they can prepare themselves, their loved-ones, and their communities and prevent injury, death, and lessen damage.

Just so ‘ya know. This is what I do.

If you live in the areas of the U.S. that will be affected by this storm, pay attention and take steps to prepare. It will be rough. Get ready NOW! Read this to keep informed.


Life is short: be prepared.

Posted in Job

The Juggling Act

Man, this week has been nuts. Believe it or not, I am still recovering from jet lag from my trip to Alaska last week. Either that, or I’m reacting to tree pollen which is extremely high this time of year. The trees in our backyard forest were slow to leaf out this year due to a damp, cool Spring. But this week it has warmed up quite a bit, and the trees have “popped” with lots and lots and lots of pollen. Greenish-yellow film is all over everything. I’ve had to keep the windows closed to keep that stuff out.

My work is going well, but has really ramped up. A huge conference now to plan and conduct in early June, mandated by action in Congress. The short notice isn’t really that much of a surprise, but now I’ve got 14 – 16 hour days running up to that event. The Boss said, “we are relying on your unique set of talents.” How’s that for pressure? LOL!

I thought that was enough, but then the Super-Big Cheese — the one in charge of the whole agency for whom I work — sought me out yesterday to give me his insights on what he wants done. Man, I didn’t even know that he really knew me. I mean, he knew I was here, tangentially, but apparently last week several people advised him that I was who I was and was at his service, so Boom! Busy! Colleagues trying to be funny said, “that’s why you’re paid the big bucks.” Ha!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my twin brother is in town and is also working long days by attending a lot of meetings in the city. He arrived home the past two nights late and tired. I give him something to eat and chat for a few minutes, then head to bed. He stays up for hours, working. I see him in the morning, and have the pleasure of preparing breakfast for him before he heads out to conquer the world of his diplomatic mission.

My partner remains steady as a rock. His work is busy, but not overwhelming. His schedule is dependable and predictable. He isn’t fussing that I’m having to work so many hours this week. As he said, he figured this would happen once they got to know me at my new office and learned how I could apply my skills and talents to meet dynamic and ever-changing demands and needs.

No more travel for me for a while except from home to countless meetings related to this big deal event coming up. That’s fine. It’s what I do. It’s what I enjoy. I have an incredibly talented and dedicated group of colleagues and collaborators on whom I will rely to get this done.

Confucius said, “choose a job you love, and you won’t have to work a day in your life.” I do love what I do… but it IS exhausting!

Life is short: keep busy!

Posted in Job

Weirdness

I tell ‘ya, loyal blog readers, I am feeling pretty damn weird.  Let me explain.

For more than 20 years, I worked for an organization that had me traveling a lot. Mostly what I did was conduct training, give speeches, and attend thousands of meetings all over the United States and its territories. Occasionally, my work involved travel to other countries, too. Not often, but enough to make things interesting. When big disasters happened, I engaged my “cross-training” and joined responders to do … whatever … on-scene and in the trenches, getting the job done side-by-side with very hard-working people with big hearts and caring service delivery.

I left that job at the end of 2004 for several reasons, and I will not belabor the rationale here. I went on to take care of an uncle through the winter of his life until his peaceful passing. After that, I accepted a “place-holder” job which was interesting, but removed from my passion (that is, my specific field of expertise.)

I was laid off from that job in June, 2010, and I think it was for a reason (besides the funding that supported it running out.) My sweet aunt needed a lot more attention, and I had the time to care for her through her life’s winter, until her peaceful passing in January, 2011.

Meanwhile, I accepted a position in late November and I am pleased as punch to be back in my direct field, working with colleagues with whom I once worked before, and doing many things that I enjoy (again).

The thing is, this job does not have any “cross-trained response role.” That means that when a big disaster happens, like the events of March 11, I did not run to the rescue… or run with colleagues to help. Sure, it was busy in the office and I was involved with media work, but it’s not the same. Honestly, I kinda miss it.

Well, I do and I don’t. The long hours and sleepless nights in crowded and noisy conditions become harder to bear the older one gets.

I did get an offer from a major player in disaster relief to go work with them for several weeks, but my current employer couldn’t give me paid time off and I couldn’t afford the financial hit to take time off without pay. So I’m still home, watching the news and emailing colleagues and tracking what’s going on via social networks. But it’s not the same. It just feels really, really, I mean really, weird.

Life is short: manage conundrums!

Posted in Job

Saweeeet….

I had one of those all-afternoon meetings for work yesterday.  But I was actually looking forward to it, because I could ride my Harley to work… and park free… and enjoy temperatures in the low 70°s (21°C).  And what made it even sweeter is that I was told, specifically, to come “dressed casually” as the meeting was going to be an “offsite” — this is a term for meeting somewhere other than the office.  In this case, the meeting was in a restaurant.

I wore a nice pair of leather jeans with a regular shirt and my Chippewa Firefighter boots all shined up.  Put on my lightweight leather jacket, gloves, and full-face helmet and off I went… cruisin’ down the road.

It’s great to pull into the public parking lot near my office and find designated motorcycle parking that is free.  I worked darned hard to get legislation submitted and passed that provides free motorcycle parking at our county’s public parking lots, and I am still enjoying the results of that work (yeah, I’m cheap!)

And for the fashionistas who would go nuts about a man attending a professional meeting and interacting with colleagues and co-workers while dressed in a pair of leather jeans and boots — well, fa cosí sia! Not a problem! My colleagues listened to what I had to say, not gaped at what I wore. They respect me as a fellow professional. I don’t wear leather inside the office, but if we’re going to meet at a casual restaurant and I was told to dress casually, … then … so be it. BTW, one of my colleagues was in boots and jeans, too. (Though I’m the only biker of the bunch.)

Overall, if you have to have a long, work-related meeting, it makes it better if you can get there by Harley and wear your leather.  As I said, “saweeeet!”  I love my job.

Life is short:  love what you do!

P.S.: to my buddy from NH: again, I do not mean to rub it in (too much!). We often get these short teasers this time of year where us bikers get out our bikes and think that we’re ready to begin the riding season when wham! – bang! the bottom will drop out of the thermometer and ice and snow return. But when these teasers happen, I want to take advantage of it.

Posted in Job

Travels Again

Portland, Oregon, finds me pursuing my work with great interest and vigor.  I arrived on Monday to participate in several days chock full of meetings.  It is a very beautiful area, with exceptionally hospitable and friendly people.  The light rail system is great and very convenient, as well as half the cost of DC’s Metro.

Considering what I have been through this past week with the death of my aunt, having a business trip come up now is actually very good timing.  I needed a break and since I enjoy my job so much, this is a great way to change my thinking totally and to focus on learning new things, meeting new people, presenting information about what I am doing, and networking with professionals from the entire United States, including our Atlantic and Pacific island territories and Commonwealths.

I will be confirming site visits along the California coast in late March, and Hawaii after that. (No, this is not a junket … seriously … but any trip from CONUS to Hawaii is always considered a luau. I have many interests on several Hawaiian Islands that I need to see in person.)

Further, while I am here, I will confirm arrangements for a site visit to Saipan, and perhaps Tinian, which are part of the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas, later this year.  Meanwhile, I am brushing up on my Puerto Rican Spanish, as I am having dinner with colleagues from P.R. tonight.

Life is short:  get busy!

Posted in Job

A Bag of Wet Sand

We all have people that we “have” to work with for various reasons.  Some people are friendly, warm, and affable.  Some people are professionally perfunctory.  Some people are perplexing.  Some people are cold and distant.

One person I have to work with is pleasant enough, but dragging a conversation from her is difficult.  She is cold, but not unpleasant.  She is well-mannered, but she has no personality.  She is so much like — what I was describing to a friend — a bag of wet sand.  There is really no other way to describe it.  It’s like you have to push this cold, damp gooky stuff around to get anything productive from a conversation.

I don’t know why some people are like that.  Just stuck like a heavy bag that you have to poke and prod to deal with.  Oh well, it takes all kinds, and frankly I’d rather have someone with a personality of cold wet sand than one who is perpetually angry and agitated.

So much for civic life.  Bags of sand are out there.

Life is short:  when confronted with a bag of wet sand, build a berm.

Posted in Job

Frantic Friday

In the U.S., today is referred to as “Black Friday” meaning that many stores and on-line retailers offer discounts and deals.  It’s supposed to be among the best days for businesses to make money due to the high volume of customers.

All well and good.  I completed my Christmas shopping in July and have no need nor desire to do any shopping today.  Bah, humbug.  (That’s the only slightly negative thing you’ll hear me say, by the way.  I am just one of those guys who doesn’t get into shopping whatsoever.)

I am actually working today (this post having been written last night and schedule to appear this morning.)  I have my first business trip coming up to Seattle next week, so I have to put everything together for the trip.  Actually, it is five activities in one trip: presentation on Thursday afternoon, meeting with some feds on Friday, another meeting with a colleague on Friday afternoon, open weekend, then a presentation on Monday morning followed by a meeting that afternoon, then I get to fly back home.

I prefer to make my own travel arrangements, rather than have someone else do it for me and not select flights, hotels, etc., that I prefer.  Even with restrictions on what airline I must use, there are ways around that, so I don’t have to take, for example, Continental or AirTran or United (which for various reasons I don’t like), and can use a carrier of my choice that offers a competitive fare and on which I accumulate frequent flyer miles.

Funny (odd), but this is the first Friday after Thanksgiving that I have had to work since 1992.  Usually, I spend this day cleaning up after our Thanksgiving Pot Luck.  Fortunately, my family and partner did 99% of the cleaning last night, so all I have to do today on my lunch hour is make a quick run to the dump (ooops, here in Snoburbia, we call it the “transfer station.”)  We have trash and a lot of recyclables to dispose of, and it is better to take care of this massive chore rather than expect our regular trash service to pick up all that stuff (plus, I want to get the use of my garage back as quickly as I can.)

We had a great day yesterday, with 100 of our closest senior pals enjoying the day with us.  It really was a lot of fun, and not much work.  We smiled, laughed, sang, and some of the folks watched football with my partner in his basement “man cave.”  I stayed upstairs most of the time just visiting and listening.  I really don’t care for football.

Today as you may be going about shopping or eating leftover turkey or whatever, think of me, actually working at my new job.  And, truly, enjoying it because I can sit here in my leather and work from home.  Best of all worlds!

Life is short:  keep workin’!

Posted in Job