Do you remember the “cone of silence” that never worked in the TV comedy Get Smart? Well in Washington, DC, we have the “Cone of Dumbness.” It sits right over the beltway that surrounds the city. Every time the weather forecasters predict a “snow event,” the cone comes down and without a doubt, everyone inside it goes brain dead.

Today “they” predict two inches (5cm) of snow to fall during the day. Mind you, it’s NOT snowing yet (at 6:30am ET). OMG, you would think the end of the world is here. What’s worse is that later this evening, we may get up to to 2″ of sleet — predicted to fall in the evening. Sure, tomorrow will be bad for commuting, but not today. Though you wouldn’t know it from all the mass hysteria.

Last night, I forgot about the snow prediction, and dropped by the grocery store on my way home from work to get some grated cheese for dinner. Ooops… shouldn’t have done that. The lines were incredibly long and it looked like the store had been decimated. I kid you not, one guy who couldn’t find a cart was standing in line juggling milk, butter, eggs, diapers, and a bunch of other stuff, while cradling a cell phone in his ear, whining to his wife about the store not having whatever he wanted to eat for dinner. I bailed from the store and just came home.

Then at a meeting last night, would you believe one woman even had the temerity to ask the local zoning officials if schools would be closed today. The zoning folks have nothing to do with deciding if and when to close schools. Just what was this woman thinking? (or smoking?)

The TV news isn’t any help at all — they hype it up so much that it’s no wonder everyone goes nuts. And you’d think: a large number of residents of the DC area come from “snow country.” That is, they came here from places that would get lots of snow every winter. They handled it just fine. They dressed properly for it, too. But not those who now live or work within the “cone of dumbness.”

This morning, the SUVs are on the road, in 4-wheel drive mode — and it’s not snowing (yet). This little snippet from a local news source just had me rolling on the floor laughing:

Bill is making plans for getting out and getting to work today. “If it shuts a few things down, it probably won’t shut down that much. And I have four-wheel drive, so it’s about time I got to use it.”

I just betcha he’s the type of guy who gets in his 4WD and tries to drive on ice like it’s a dry road on a sunny day. I’ll see him (or his kind) in a ditch on the side of the road, standing next to his vehicle, out in the snow, yapping on a cell phone. It happens all the time.

Salt trucks are idling in the parking lot, waiting for the “go” signal. Schools closed for the prediction. And at the Metro subway stop were the yuppies in their tassled loafers or dress wingtips, thin socks, suit jacket, no hat, no gloves. I betcha the minute they see a flake of snow in the air, each and every one of them will be trying to rush home before they get snowed in for the rests of the century.

I’m so glad I don’t have a response role any more as I had with previous employers. I can just sit back, watch, and have a good laugh at the “cone of dumbness” doing its thing: causing the yuppies to “lose it” and get hysterical over a dusting of snow. I’ll just wait patiently in my office for the crowds to thin out, then meet my partner and go home. Carefully, but dressed appropriately with tall, warm boots, cord pants and longjohns, several layers on top, a coat with a hood, and mittens (which are warmer than gloves). We’ll be okay.

And for those of you from snow belt areas, don’t laugh too hard at this. It’s just a part of the local DC culture — forget everything you learned and rush into mass hysteria all for a few flakes of snow.

Life is short: enjoy it, even if it’s about stupid stuff!

This is a post about my ongoing tirade about those nuts who yak away on their precious cell phones while attempting to operating a 5,000+ pound machine. Hang the f— up and drive!

After witnessing a fellow biker get creamed on a highway five years ago by a cell-phone yapping yuppie who said, “I didn’t see him,” I have been on a tear to get my state’s legislature to adopt a law to ban using a cell phone or texting while driving. Ideally, ban all forms of communication in all ways while driving — and that includes using hands-free devices.

Well, that ain’t gonna work. (The hands-free ban)… but, here I am again facing this year’s legislature where the senator from my district has proposed, once again, a law to prohibit talking on a cell phone or texting while driving. Yeah, Mike, I’ll be there with you, again, to testify on the bill and attempt, once again, to persuade the committee to pass the bill out of committee to the full State Senate and then to the House and get signed by the Governor.

[Oh man, do I feel exactly what the back of the shirt in this photo that I found on the ‘net expresses.]

But again, I remain skeptical. I mean, after all, with a part-time legislature who lives, eats, and breathes on their electronic gizmos to talk, text, and even to write legislation while driving (honestly, you should see the laptop setup in one Delegate’s car!), I just don’t think it’s going to work. But we’ll give it the old college try, once more.

And I still have my doubts after observing what happens when a law is passed, but not enforced. I work in the District of Columbia. DC passed a law two years ago that prohibited use of hand-held cell phones while driving.

I often take walks at lunchtime. For the past several months, I have stood on a busy corner for about 5 minutes and counted the number of drivers who go past and who are yakking on their hand-held cell phones. On average, within five minutes, I count 89 drivers yakking away on hand-held phones. I have never once seen anyone given a ticket for the offense. So I question, why pass a law if it isn’t enforced?

Come on, people! Wake up! We managed to survive quite well in the era before cell phones were invented. I know some of you don’t remember that time, but we didn’t communicate back then by chiseling on stone tablets, either. The world still turned ’round, and business still got done when you couldn’t yak away on your cell 24/7. Just be reasonable: hang up and drive!

Rant ended… for now. Look for me in Annapolis this session, once again, where I’ll continue to bang my head on the proverbial marble wall about this issue.

My goodness, my hometown is still a trash heap after the concert at the Lincoln Memorial on Sunday, the Presidential Inauguration and Parade on Tuesday, and the right-to-lifers lame protest on Thursday. While one conservative blog is blaming all the trashing of DC on supporters of Obama, what it isn’t blogging about is all the trash left behind by the right-to-lifers on Thursday. Most of them are (R)-people, and are just as messy as anyone else.

Thanks for coming, thanks for spending over US$1,000,000,000 (yeah, that’s right, US$1 Billion) for our local economy. But thanks also for leaving over 90 tons of trash that’s blowing around the city, and thanks for absolutely ruining whatever turf there was on the national Mall. It’s all a big dirt pile now. GO HOME! … and take your trash with you.

This video that I found on YouTube is interesting, and at least shows a positive attitude about cleaning up the mess:

I seldom post two message on one day, but this situation deserved it.

Warning! Warning! The famed DC Metrorail system is going to fall apart!

Presidential Inaugural planners have been worried about how the Metro system is going to be able to handle “crush-loads” (their words) of people — somewhere around 1.5 to 2 million — in Washington DC on January 20. And their worries are not without foundation or experience. Already this week, our Metro subway system has had some trains break down, thus throwing the rest of the system’s schedule way out of whack. Crowds form quickly when even one train goes out of service.

This morning the thermometer at my home read 9°F (-13°C) when my partner dropped me off at our nearby Metro station. (Lucky dawg: he gets to work at home on Fridays). I got on the Metro as usual, and thought perhaps something was amiss when it began to run herky-jerky. It would start, then stop, then start, then stop. Thank goodness I was seated, because the stops were fast and would have caused people to lose their balance if they were standing. (None were — it was very early before typical “rush hour” crowds).

Then the train just stopped… and announcements were made about a train in front of us in trouble. After waiting about 10 minutes, we were made to get off our train and wait on an outdoor station platform. While they made fairly regular announcements, the information was useless. “We’re experiencing a train malfunction” followed by “we regret any inconvenience.” Duhhhhhh! But no substantive, meaningful, information was ever given.

As I waited on that really cold platform, where the wind chill made it fell like it was below zero F (-16°C), I looked around. I wasn’t surprised, but was very sorry for the large number of men standing there without a hat on their head, no gloves, and a silly thin coat or suit jacket. What were these guys thinking??? It’s COOOOOLD out there! Do they expect to remain in a heated area throughout their commute??? People who fail to dress for the weather really put themselves at risk. They worry me a great deal, but I can’t be responsible for irresponsible people.

Fortunately, being the preparedness guy that I am, I was wearing thick wool socks and tall leather-lined Wesco Harness boots (again), long johns, corduroy pants, and on top I was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt, thick and lined corduroy shirt, sweater, and my Taylor’s leather jacket with its Thinsulate® lining. I wore a warm ball cap and a biker’s neck warmer and ear muffs and a scarf. Oh, and some thick biker gloves, too. So I was protected from the cold well enough. Just “inconvenienced” as Metro likes to say.

After enduring that cold for about 15 minutes, finally another train on the opposite side of the platform pulled up and we all piled on. I can just imagine how prolonged the residual “inconveniences” will be.

Let me tell ‘ya, if the trains are unable to function during a light Friday rush (at the time I get on the train, it’s never full)… then mark my words: I regret to predict that when the system is tested with unprecedented ridership on Monday and Tuesday, Jan. 19 – 20, it’s just going to fall apart. It won’t be able to handle it. One or two trains will go down, then the resulting backups will create chaos.

No way, no how, no no no no no — you will definitely not see me try to venture into Washington DC on those days. Seriously, no wonder most of the locals are leaving town. Leave the pandemonium to the tourists!

Lots of fellow gay bloggers have posted their rants about the choice that our President-Elect made for the clergymember who will give the opening prayer at the swearing-in ceremony.

While looking for an image on the ‘net, I stumbled upon this one. It says it all much better than I could say in actual words. (Courtesy of the Illinois Republicans!)

As I got off the Metro train recently, I observed three young guys in navy blue BDUs carrying rifles watching people as they got off the train.

In the run-up to anticipated crowds before the Presidential Inaugural ceremony on January 20, I knew that there will be increased security throughout Washington, DC, and in public venues like our Metro transit system.

But seeing these guys with their rifles joking with each other, while watching people dash to and from the subway, just made me feel uneasy. I know they are doing their job — and one half of me is glad that they’re there, and the other half of me is uncomfortable. Am I alone in having divided feelings?

I’ve seen men like this before when I have traveled, particularly in Eastern Europe and the Middle East. In those places, seeing men in uniforms carrying rifles is commonplace. But not here…

I guess I just long for the “good ol’ days” of my childhood, when I remember that you could walk up the front steps of the U.S. Capitol building and go right into it, accompanying visitors from far away places and give a “tour by wandering.” Or go fly a kite on the grounds of the Washington Monument in Springtime. Or, speaking of the Monument, bring coolers and portable grills to the Mall and have a grand picnic on the Fourth of July. (Nowadays, you have to go through a metal detector at designated bottlenecked “check points” and leave the grills and coolers at home.)

Alas, those carefree days are gone, left now with everyone looking over his shoulder for the next bad guy. And the DHS folks are taking credit for the fact that we haven’t had another attack since Sept. 11, 2001. Perhaps so, but I feel now that with all the barriers, protections, and security in place, the bad guys won after all.

Some people have asked me if I ever would consider living in the city of Washington, DC. My answer always has been “no way.” Here’s why: the United States Congress. Why do I say that?

Primarily for the benefit of visitors to my blog from other countries, let me give a brief civics lesson.

Washington, DC, also known as the District of Columbia, is not a state. It is a federal district that was created by Congress, the legislative branch of the U.S. Government, in 1871 to be the seat of the Capital of the United States. Article One of of the United States Constitution provides for a federal district, distinct from the states, to serve as the permanent national capital. The United States Congress has supreme authority over Washington, D.C.; residents of the city therefore have less self-governance than residents of the states. The District has a non-voting at-large Congressional delegate, but no senators. (Source: Wikipedia, cited under the GNU General Public License.)

And there’s the rub: while the DC City Council can pass all the laws it wants, everything the Council does is subject to review of Congress, and can be changed or killed at the whim of any Member of Congress from any state. That’s what really bothers me. Meddling by Congress in local affairs is abominable, and happens all too frequently. Sure, go buy a machine gun — a gun-nut Congressmember from Indiana who is in the pocket of the NRA is trying to force that to happen in DC.

How would you like it if your state legislature, or city or town council, passed some legislation and a bozo Congressmember from another state for purposes of political grandstanding steps in and interferes with it?

That’s really why I could never live in the city of Washington, DC. Congress meddles too much in local affairs. It is shameful, and some Members of Congress have no shame.

There are some other reasons why I would never live in DC, as well — taxes are exorbitant because there is not much of a base to tax. 22% of the land in the city is owned by non-taxable entities, such as the federal government, embassies, religious institutions, and non-profit organizations. Homeowners bear a significant tax burden as a result.

I have often commented on the actions, or inactions, of the local city elected officials and appointed leadership, but being active in my home county in Maryland in these affairs, I realize how politics is portrayed by media spin, and the truth is often in the middle somewhere. However, I just couldn’t bear to live in a place that continues to elect Marion Barry to office — first as Mayor then now as a City Councilmember. What a buffoon. He is a politically savvy guy, but a (?) nonetheless.

Sure, I enjoy showing my nation’s capital to the world through photos and giving tours to friends and family. But I never would want to live there. Give me The Free State (Maryland) and my county that has a casual and mature kind of tolerance. Let me rant and rave to my elected Representative in Congress, and my state’s U.S. Senators. Let me engage in the political process regarding legislation pending before my state’s General Assembly. Let me testify about legislation being considered by my County Council. Anytime. But when state or local legislation passes, let it stand. Don’t let a politically-motivated ding-dong from another state come tell my state or county elected leaders that they’re going to change our laws. No way, no how, not where I live.