I was surprised yet very happy to receive a call from my buddy JT, a local motorcop who I have known since grade school, who told me that his friend “Tom” and partner “Chad” were engaged to be married. Then soon after hearing that news, Tom called me himself, and told me that he credits me with his engagement to his partner.
Me? What did I do?
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Someone running for elected office in our home state contacted me the other day to say, “I heard that you and your partner got married. Congratulations. As you know, I am running for [position] and my team is creating ads to air as we run up to the primary election. Will you and your partner join us to be featured in our ad campaign?”
My spouse was sitting right next to me when I got this call. I put it on speaker so he could hear the conversation.
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[Warning: rare rant alert]
As a man who married his man legally in the state where we live, I have been asked what I think about situations where some service providers have been asked and have denied services to same-sex couples. For example, florists, bakeries, party rental providers, or facilities (recreation hall or similar where a couple could have a party or wedding reception.)
One may think that I would have strong feelings about this matter…
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It was sadly amusing to me to find that someone, let’s say who is among those less educated, and therefore to be gently pitied for his plight, would enter a search on the words, “homos are ignorant,” into a search engine.
That search led to a post on this blog titled The Homo-ignorant where I recounted a story about someone who was on a motorcycle ride with me last year who did not know what he was saying and how his ignorance was observed.
How do I feel about posts like this?
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While in San Francisco for one night — last Sunday — I arranged to have dinner with two good friends who live there — Larry of “hotboots.com” fame, and Ken, the owner of Stompers Boots. Both Larry and Ken invited their husbands, Bill and Walter, respectively, to join us.
Yep, husbands. There I am, also a married man, with a ring on my finger indicating that I’m in the same relationship.
What things to married gay men talk about?
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This is a story about how a case of “discrimination by ignorance and delay” was resolved by a very powerful elected official who represents my spouse and me in the United States Senate. This senior Senator has a reputation for kicking butt and taking names, and getting problems that her constituents have resolved quickly.
Our story relates to challenges we faced as a newly married couple and legal recognition by the U.S. Government.
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I wrote back in November that straight people need a word. I confirmed that again at a recent meeting with a bunch of bikers.
Several of them had heard that my spouse has had a relapse of his illness. Out of concern, some people asked me…
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Last night, my spouse and I were watching a TV show where one (straight) character said to a lesbian character, “I’m okay with your chosen lifestyle, I just don’t want it in my face.”
That opened a story line to explain some tension between lesbian (gay) and straight characters. But it also demonstrated and reinforced the ongoing and totally wrong belief among straight people (the show’s writers) that being gay is a choice.
Let me ask, simply, when did you choose to be straight?
A lifestyle is defined as the way that a person lives.
My chosen lifestyle is…
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Early this morning, I went to a plumbing supplies store. This store caters to contractors who do plumbing for a living. I needed to buy a particular type and brand of toilet. Since I do a lot of home renovations, I have an account at this store and am considered eligible for contractor pricing, which allows me to buy plumbing fixtures and supplies at about 30% less than the big box orange or blue retailers charge for the same items.
There I am, in worn denim jeans, Chippewa logger boots, and a dull green parka. Topped off with a ballcap with “Wesco” printed on the front.
When I arrived, there were five other contractors at the parts counter, jocularly speaking with one another and the counter staff. Apparently they all know each other, which doesn’t surprise me.
A couple of the guys listened to me place my order, which was stated manly enough, and in the proper “contractor-speak.” That is, it was clear when I said, “one G-V toilet, complete, ADA compliant, enhanced enlongated rim, 12″ rough opening, a wax ring, and a 1/2-inch nominal compression valve” that I knew what I was talking about.
But I must have tripped the gaydar of these guys. While the counter clerk went to the back to get my order, they asked me,
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I received an email last week, and had time to think about it and reply to the sender with some thoughts. With his permission, I have duplicated part of his message here:
Thank you for being willing to publicly discuss personal matters on your blog. I feel that by writing about your own personal experiences, you have dispelled some gay myths and made “gays” to be normal.
What’s normal?
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