I received an email last week, and had time to think about it and reply to the sender with some thoughts. With his permission, I have duplicated part of his message here:
Thank you for being willing to publicly discuss personal matters on your blog. I feel that by writing about your own personal experiences, you have dispelled some gay myths and made “gays” to be normal.
Okay, I will not parse words. I know what he means.
By writing this blog, it lets me do what I enjoy — writing about my interests and life. I once restricted this blog to comments and reviews about boots only, but realized that I was being confined to a perception that all I know about is boots. I am a more well-rounded man.
I have grown older and more mature. I realize that concerns that I once held do not matter. No one cares if I wear boots every day. No one says a thing if I choose to wear leather jeans when I take little old ladies grocery shopping. And once the state of my birth and residence came around to allowing me to (formally) marry the man I have loved for over 20 years, I can live comfortably as a married man and no longer have to use difficult vocabulary when referencing each other.
I realize that every gay man is different. Some are more “out there” and socially engaged. Some are fussbudgets about style and dress. Some, like me, don’t give a flying frig about those things. We are all different — but so are straight men. All of us, regardless of whether we are gay or straight — are all different.
My sense of self is due a great deal to how my parents raised me (and all of my siblings). We are the adults they raised us to be. I am confident, secure, and most of all, I am truly happy. My spouse is stable, honest, and a match for intellect. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I am truly blessed to have him to love and care for.
Anyway, back to the topic — yep, gay men are just like everyone else. We compose the fabric of society in various ways. Thank you for noticing. Live life and love it!
Life is short: be as normal or different or whatever as you want to be.