Why Did You Marry Your Partner?

With all the media attention on same-sex marriage, a number of visits to this blog have come in, primarily driven by internet search engines. A writer for a major U.S. Metropolitan newspaper contacted me and asked directly, “why did you marry your partner?”

I thought it was obvious, but in reading some of my past posts, I realize that I may have given a different signal.

Why did I marry my partner? I have many reasons, as follows–
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Social Expectations — and how this gay couple doesn’t meet them

My spouse and I are often invited to various parties, events, and activities. People in general enjoy socializing. I like it too. My spouse, however, does not.

For years now the “we” part of “me” will not attend social events. I should be accustomed to it, but it still is difficult to politely but routinely turn down invitation after invitation. Yep, as a gay couple, my spouse and I do not meet any form of expectations for socializing.

Examples–
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What Does Your Wife Do?

The other day at work, I was orienting a new colleague to where things are around the office and was introducing him to staff and explaining what each of them do.

During our day, my colleague explained that his wife did such-and-such job like someone I had introduced him to. Then he turned to me and asked, “are you married?”

Me: Yep.

Him: What does your wife do?
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Graciously Declining a Gay Wedding Invitation

I have mentioned before that my fiance and I are not fans of weddings in general — nothing to do with the nuptials being for opposite-sex or same-sex partners. Once again, though, a friend sent me a formal invitation to his same-sex wedding to his partner of three years. I like the guy a lot, and think his partner is very nice (though I don’t really know him), but was again faced with the dilemma on how to decline the invitation since we didn’t want to go.

I debated about how honest I should be when I replied, and came up with this response, which my fiance thought was gracious and gentle, but also honest:
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Devotion or Complacent or …

Someone sent me a message recently asking why I said that I would not be creating any new videos. I replied that one of the reasons besides technical difficulties is that my fiance does not think videos serve any purpose, are silly, and does not want me to make them. He generally has a dim view of social media, including YouTube. He does not want me to be part of that.

The person in the email said, “Did your partner object to you making the videos? You sound devoted to him, or maybe things have just become complacent.”

My response?
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Presentation on Advocacy

Lucroperblack10Monday 18 February was a holiday — so no going to work, but I worked hard nonetheless. I broke down and put on a suit & tie with a nice pair of Lucchese Classic black cowboy boots, and attended a medical convention at the request of my fiance’s primary care physician. I was invited to give a presentation to about 300 doctors about what it is really like to be a healthcare advocate on the “front lines” every day about a disease that many in the healthcare community believe is not as bad as it is, or some who even believe that the disease does not exist.

In the not so distant past, I was labeled…
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