With all the media attention on same-sex marriage, a number of visits to this blog have come in, primarily driven by internet search engines. A writer for a major U.S. Metropolitan newspaper contacted me and asked directly, “why did you marry your partner?”
I thought it was obvious, but in reading some of my past posts, I realize that I may have given a different signal.
Why did I marry my partner? I have many reasons, as follows–
1. Love. Pure, unquestioned, deep and abiding love. I remain as “in love” with my man today as I have been for the 20+ years we have been together. He completes me. He IS me. Without question, I love him with every fibre of my being. I realize that is saying something, because we know that adult relationships change with time and experiences. I can honestly say that our relationship was tested more during 2012 than at any other time we were together due to the extreme effects of my spouse’s severe illness. I learned that love can be tested and it becomes stronger by leaning on that love during times of strife.
2. Faith. I have faith that my partner (spouse) will always, without question, be there for me however and whenever I need or want him. He is always on my side, always ready and willing to support me, and always there for a warm embrace.
3. Devotion. We are both very “old-fashioned” and proud of it. We are devoted to one another. Some may call that being monogamous, but that word implies that our devotion is only about sex. While we are indeed monogamous when it comes to sex — never play with others — our devotion is complete dedication to the other in all ways.
Now come the “other” reasons, which cannot be ignored:
4. Rights. We are treated under the laws of our state as a married couple the same as any other married couple. Our home is titled that way, our property is owned by “us” as a married entity, not as equal partners. There is a difference — most notably realized when one of the couple dies.
5. Benefits. Yep, that too, but not primary. I can now get Federal Government benefits that were once only available to my spouse. It IS a big deal, especially when I retire. I will be able to be covered by my spouse’s health insurance. Personally, in my situation, I did not have post-retirement health insurance available to me before.
The main reason why I married my man is love. Pure and simple. Complicated and difficult and lots of work as it is, our relationship means the world to me and to him. Our devotion, love, and caring for one another was long-established before our state granted us the right to be married, so when same-sex marriage became legal in our state this year, it was a “no-brainer.”
Life is short: committed relationships are work built on a strong foundation of love.