I guess I know more gay men and women who live in my home state than I thought that I did. I have received three invitations to attend their weddings and post-ceremony party. My response?
Let me put this into context. These three people are leaders in the LGBT community in my home county. I have known them for years. We have worked together on various community issues — about planning, zoning, transportation, and so forth. We knew that each other were gay, but that was not the reason why we were working together in the past on issues of common interest.
These three friends of mine were also very vocal and active on lobbying for the legislation that was passed by my home state’s legislature that provides for same-sex marriage. They were also very active on voter education efforts about the referendum about that legislation which appeared on our state’s ballot in November.
It was no surprise to me, then, that these friends would choose to marry the man/woman they love on the first date that they legally can do so — January 2. They extended an invitation to their wedding to me and to my fiance.
It would be impossible for me to attend all three events, as they are being held far apart from one another, but about the same time. I could have used the conflict-of-time issue as an excuse to decline at least two of these events. But I’m an honest guy, I declined all three invitations, explaining that,
1) I never have liked weddings and the fuss involved, regardless whether the event is for heterosexual family members or close friends. I just don’t like this kind of stuff. (Never got those gay genes.) I hate to dress up, can’t dance, don’t drink, probably can’t eat your food (due to my restricted diet)… these kind of things make me very uncomfortable–not because of the same-sex matter, but because of the fussy fall-de-roll that surrounds it.
2) My fiance is the world’s #1 recluse. He hates socializing, and while he appreciates the invitation, he doesn’t want to attend any social functions anywhere. I don’t want to attend an event without him, so if he won’t go, I won’t go. It really works this way — there are A LOT of events that I get invited to that I do not attend because of my fiance’s refusal to attend such things.
That’s really about it. I’m just not the party boy, and won’t be. Just because the wedding is of historical proportions for some friends doesn’t mean that I’ll enjoy it any more.
I realize, I really am a different kind of gay man, as is my fiance. Definitely not interested in fuss, bother, and attention.
Life is short: state your position honestly.