Happy Birthday to a Wonderful Man

Today I extend my most sincere well-wishes to my (former) friend, “AZ”. He is a warm, sensitive, caring and thoughtful man with a great sense of humor.

I was honored to call him my friend back in 2007 – 2011. He has a wide circle of people who care deeply for him and for whom he “cares back.” I was honored to be among them, back in the day.

I won’t belabor this blog post any more — AZ isn’t one to seek attention.

On my (former) buddy’s very special day, his birthday, he is deserving of thanks and praise for the richness and blessings he brings to his family and his friends.

Life is short: Happy Birthday, AZ!

Note (2016 update): AZ dropped out of my life for unknown reasons in 2012 and I have had very little contact with him since then.

He’s My Brother (in heart)

I received a call today from my “eighth brother,” AZ, who confirmed that the special treat that I sent to him arrived. Despite the UPS guy dropping it, it wasn’t damaged. Enjoy your special birthday cake, bro’!

As I was smiling on the way to Metro for my ride home, this song made famous by The Hollies was playing in my mind:

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I’m strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We’ll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

If I’m laden at all
I’m laden with sadness
That everyone’s heart
Isn’t filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It’s a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we’re on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn’t weigh me down at all
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

He’s my brother
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother…


Just a thought for a dear friend who is much like a brother to me.

Fa! Cosi sia!

As my nonna would say, “[è] fa[tto]! Cosí sia! — which means literally, “it is done, so be it” but in its connotation, means generally, “that’s the way it is, take it or leave it.” This Italian phrase would be her way of expressing exasperation with whatever us kids came up with.

Afraid of a spider? Fa! Cosí sia!

Don’t want to eat vegetables? Fa! Cosí sia!

Your mean sister called you a name? Fa! Cosí sia!

A bit neurotic about something? Fa! Cosí sia!

Funny, I was just saying this expression to my partner, when he was going on and on about some minor little thing… I can’t even remember… Fa! Cosí sia!

I also said it in a jesting way to a friend when I described that when he made a choice to be my friend, he had to accept some of my neurotic behaviors. Fa! Cosí sia! (and just accept me as he does, with compassion for my crazy ways.)

Everyone has differences, or some may call “weird behaviors.” For example, my partner can’t stand it when the phone rings at home. I mean, he absolutely detests the disruption. It doesn’t matter who is calling, he just doesn’t want the phone to ring. If it does, he won’t answer it. He hates the phone, period, end-of-story. If we are both at home and the phone rings and I answer it, he glowers at me until I hang up.Fa! Cosí sia!

For me, I hate cell phones. The disruption. The huge expense for monthly service, making rich companies richer. I hate the fact that a cell-phone-yapping yuppie killed my motorcycle-riding buddy six years ago.

Well, Fa! Cosí sia! — to those who might think of calling me at home when my partner is home, or calling my cell phone, which I rarely have turned on or available (it’s usually buried at the bottom of my briefcase.) Just accept that some of us are weird, are slightly neurotic, or approach some things differently from others. We’re all different.

Life is short: Fa! Cosí sia!

Best Motorcycle Boots

It’s funny, but when I wrote a blog post last week about the best motorcycle patrol boots, I have discovered that people searching for the general term “Best Motorcycle Boots” end up right here, on this blog. Update: See a newer, related post about “Best Value Motorcycle Boots” (click here)

Sooooo…. let me tell you about what I think are the “Best Motorcycle Boots” for all-around wear on a street motorcycle. (That is, not a dirt bike).

They are (drumroll…) Chippewa Firefighter Boots (model number 27422). Why boots made for firefighters? Why not engineer or harness boots, such as those made by Wesco, Double H, Red Wing, Chippewa, or others?

The reason why I make this statement are as follows:

  • Comfort: Hands down (or should I say, “feet down,”) these boots are the most comfortable motorcycle boots I have worn while riding, and I have ridden hundreds of thousands of miles for more than 30 years.

  • Durability: These boots have a steel toe and are double-stitched at all major points throughout the boot. If it’s made for wildland firefighters, it can endure the gaff of motorcycling.
  • Vibram® 100 sole: This thick, durable, “big lug” sole is like a snow tire on the bottom of my feet. It provides superior traction.
  • Flexibility: What adds to the comfort of the boot is that it is flexible at the ankle and the foot.
  • Leather lining: the lining adds to the strength of the boot’s construction, as well as its comfort. One would think that a leather-lined boot would get hot. But let me tell ‘ya, I have worn these boots on exceptionally hot and humid days that the DC area is known for in summertime. These boots just don’t get hot. Unfortunately, tall leather-lined boots such as Wesco Harness or Boss boots do.
  • Fit Technique: These boots have a unique fitting. A boot zipper is laced into the boot’s ten eyelets. There are various ways to do that, which can accommodate a wide variety of foot widths. Once the zipper is laced in properly, all you need to do from then on is close the zipper after pulling them on, and open it to take ’em off. (Note, it takes a while for the fitting to break in, but once it does, these boots are very easy to pull on and remove.)
  • Value: These boots are an excellent value for the price. And the best place to buy these boots at the most affordable price is Stompers Boots of San Francisco.

I own more than 50 pairs of motorcycle boots. I have ridden with ’em all. When it comes time to choosing a good quality boot that’s comfortable, durable, and suitable for a long, all-day ride with my club on my Harley, this is the boot that I choose.

For more information on motorcycle boots, Guide to Motorcycle Boots.

Let’s Ride!

Let’s queue up…And let’s R-I-D-E! (View from the back of the pack, taken by a buddy)

Today I led the ride that I planned out yesterday. What a great day to get out and ride! Nice sunny “leather weather,” (it was as predicted — cool at the start, and about 60°F/15.5°C by mid-day), good company, and the rumble of a Harley on the open byways of Maryland. I had a terrific time. So did some 30 others who, like me, were anxious to break out the bike and ride on such a nice day, and shake the cobwebs off our boots, leathers, and machines. We all had good times, good food, and good cheer.

That, my friends, is why I am such an avid biker — nothin’ quite like the feel of the open road on two wheels.

Pre-Ride

I took my Harley out on Saturday on a route that I will be riding again. What I mean by that is that I did what’s called a “pre-ride.” I laid out the route electronically on a map, then translated it to paper, and then rode the route to check it out. I wanted to check that the mileage indicators were accurate, to ensure that the turns were correct, to see the lines of sight at those turns (and what safety precautions to suggest to other riders), and to and to check the condition of the surfaces of the roads after a long, cold winter.

This is a practice that leaders of motorcycle rides do, in order to make sure that the ride will be safe and fun for the other riders when we go.

Before I headed out, I checked the air in my tires (it was okay), the oil and other fluid levels (all okay), as well as all the cables, brakes, lights, chassis, and everything else. While I have been riding the Harley through the winter, I haven’t ridden it much, so I did a thorough check of my trusty iron steed to make sure it is okay and my own ride is safe. I also cleaned the windscreen, lenses on the lights, and even my helmet. The bike itself is spotless with just a little attention from a cleaning pad.

It was only about 48°F (9°C), despite predictions for warmer temperatures and more sunshine. Full leathers were the order of the day, including my LAPD leather breeches, leather shirt, motocross jacket, and my (new) tall Wesco Motor Patrol Boots.

Predictions for Sunday’s weather are for temperatures to be about 62°F (16.5°C) and sunny, so it should be great “leather weather” for a motorcycle ride. Can’t wait! The winter has been way too darned long. Fortunately, I did get a chance to go riding on a rented Harley while in Arizona, visiting my best friend, AZ. Now I can go ride here at home. The weather is finally breaking, and it’s time to return to doing what I enjoy most for my free time.

Happy Spring!

The calendar indicates that finally here in the good ol’ USA, it’s Spring. The gardens are also beginning to indicate that it is Spring, too. TG!

The daffodils are in bloom, and look great. We have over 10,000 daffodil bulbs that bloom from now until mid-April. After the horrible events of September 11, 2001, my neighbors and I all got together and planted these bulbs along the ridge behind our houses. The bulbs have matured and naturalized. We enjoy a wonderful profusion of color — yellow, white, orange, multi-colored — every day for about a month.

Great thing about daffodils, too, is that the pesky deer leave them alone.

Happy astronomical first-full-day-of-Spring, everyone!

Old Guard – New Guard?

I have received two email messages recently from younger guys exploring their own interests in leather. Each has said that he has found my website, in particular, my Guide to Leather Gear, helpful to him during his explorations.

The image on the right has been floating around since Al Gore invented the Internet: it shows a younger guy decked out in “Old Guard Leatherman” gear — Muir Cap, leather biker jacket, gloves, breeches, and tall boots — all in black. He’s a fine specimen of “LeatherManhood” as some might say.

Younger guys see pictures like that, and then look around at other guys their age who may be exploring leather, too, and don’t see anything quite like that any more. The “new guard,” according to Wikipedia, embraces a greater variety in approach to eroticism.

I have asked around, been around, and have seen the newer clubs and bar scenes. The line about “variety” is right: lots of younger guys are wearing all sorts of stuff, trying it out, exploring interests, seeing what he likes. This seems to involve rather spontaneous choices, such as “I left the latex pants on the floor next to the bed; I’ll put them on,” or “t-shirt and jeans, like I wore in college,” and things like that. Whatever suits the current mood.

“Old-Guard” Leathermen, back in the day (I can remember), would be rather fastidious about choosing exactly which leather garments went with what gear. He would never ever consider wearing sneakers, a t-shirt, or anything made of rubber or latex when he was gearing up to go out. It was always (mantra…): thick black cowhide leather breeches, black leather shirt, Sam Browne belt, black leather jacket, black gloves, and knee-high tall black engineer or patrol boots. Sometimes, for “leather-dressy” occasions, a black leather tie would complete the outfit.

Each generation sets a pattern of its own. The younger guys are establishing their own — definitely different from what I grew up with. For example, when I was in my 20s and 30s, the only choices for leather garments was like what Henry Ford offered for Model T’s: “the customer can have any color he wants so long as it’s black.” Nowadays, leather is dyed almost any color of the rainbow.

Muir caps are hard to find — nowadays younger guys wear ballcaps or buzzcuts.

Tall boots? In my day, a Leatherman had to have at least one, if not more than one, pair of tall black boots — a pair of beaten-up engineers or harness boots, and a pair of well-shined patrol boots for dressier affairs or wearing with a uniform. Today, there aren’t many younger guys who have tall boots, or choose to wear them. They’re happier in their black sneakers or shorter, less expensive, tactical lace-up boots.

Economics plays a major role, too. Back in my day, fewer college students had as much debt as many do nowadays. Many younger guys working their first job can’t afford to own or rent their own home to begin to establish their independence. While paying down massive debt, they don’t have the money to buy quality leather gear and boots that cost much more now than it did when I was their age. Plus, as I’ve blogged before, I think some have misguided thoughts about personal finance — spending money on eating food from restaurants and buying toys that aren’t necessary to live. Economics both in the income/expense ratio as well as economic priorities are quite different between younger guys and us old-guard guys.

While I embrace change, the only major change in the scene that I can’t tolerate is the thrumming noise blasted loudly inside gathering places like bars. They say that each generation comes up with music that drives the next older generation crazy. This is quite true. My partner and I can’t stand the noise we hear in bars. The repetitive loud vibrations give me a bad headache, even if I wear ear plugs. I guess that’s another reason why we choose not to go out any more. The noise (music) keeps us away.

Is there anything wrong with the emergence of “The New Guard?” Nope. They’re setting their own style (if you want to call it that.) While I personally still choose to dress “old guard” (if you will,) it is because I like the look, it serves me well, and I have a lot of the boots and gear that fit the image. I’ll stay with what I have, thanks. And to the younger guys — try it — you might like it — or try something else. Whatever, enjoy.

But also, “whatever,” be safe. Damn, the HIV/AIDS rates of infection continue to climb because the young guys didn’t have the experience we had when we were their age and we watched our friends die horrible, painful deaths. The feeling of “youth invulnerability” pervades. The perception that “the cocktail is a cure” — all b/s. Play safe. Have fun, but play safe — for both yourself and your partner.

Life is short: wear your boots and your leather, and play safe!

Quality Men

Qual-i-ty: [kwol-i-tee] noun, plural -ties, adjective

1. an essential or distinctive characteristic, property, or attribute
2. character with respect to fineness, or grade of excellence

Thanks, Mr. Webster. You have defined a word that characterizes some people who I admire: for their quality. They say that if you surround yourself with people of quality, then you can’t help but be improved in many ways.

I am exceptionally fortunate to have many quality men in my life, including:

  • My partner — a fine, upstanding, thoughtful and honest man who carries himself as an ongoing demonstration of what a quality man should be.
  • My brothers — all are of superb quality in their respective lives, relationships with their families, and with me.
  • My “eighth brother” who also goes by “AZ” — you know from just watching him that he is quality personified.
  • My boot twin, Clay — who has many qualities of caring, thoughtfulness, and upstanding character that one can’t help but admire.
  • Friends I grew up with — I maintained friendships for more than 45 years with some of these guys. Why? They add quality to my life, because they are quality guys.
  • Friends who I have more recently met — these quality guys have reached out to me via email. They have an astute sense of what composes quality, I guess, as they sent me a message and we began having conversations. I have much to learn from them, as their intelligence is one indicator of their quality.
  • Mentors and civic leaders — many have helped me over the years to learn and be better at what I do, both at work and in my civic life. A sign of quality is for someone to spend time with someone else who wants to learn. I have benefited greatly from those who share so much.
  • While my father is no longer among the living, I can’t make a statement about quality men without listing him as well. His qualities were numerous, and many people, including me, benefited tremendously from sharing time with him.

There are men of all shapes, sizes, colors, and so on. It is fairly easy to know if you’re communicating with a quality man. I am so richly blessed to build relationships with quality men who influence me to be the man I am. Thanks, guys!

Life is short: surround yourself with quality, and you can’t help but be a better man.

Mommy, the Burglar!

“Mommy, the burglar walked in the front door!”

“The burglar? Where did he go?”

[I enter the family room where everyone is gathered. I see the ‘excitable’ kid who is a friend of my great niece running into her own mother’s arms while my great niece runs up to me and yells, “it’s my uncle!”]

“… oh don’t worry, sweetie, he’s my brother!” [says my sister to the fearful friend there to celebrate my great niece’s party].

“He’s dressed in all that black leather stuff. Don’t burglars dress that way?” [This kid has been watching waaaay too much television]

… so began a visit to my great niece’s tenth birthday party last Saturday.

I was wearing what some may call, “casual leather.” That is, a nice pair of leather jeans, a long-sleeve t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Oh, and boots, of course (Chippewa engineers.)

The house was filled with lots of people. My great niece and a bunch of her young friends, some of their parents, my niece and nephew (the birthday girl’s mother and father), my sister (grandma) and her husband (granddad). Sheesh, it makes me feel so old to have a great niece who is 10 years old, a niece who is 44, and a sister old enough to have several grandchildren already. (I am almost the youngest in our family).

I wear boots and leather regularly as I go about my daily life. What I wore on Saturday is but one example of my regular casual leather wear. But this is the first time anyone has really said much of anything — and to be called a “burglar!” I was bursting with laughter, as was my sister. Both of us got to laughing so long and hard that we couldn’t catch our breath, and had tears rolling down our cheeks. The rest of the adults were rather speechless watching the two of us “lose it.” We get that way sometimes.

While my sister and I were guffawing away, my niece piped up and said to the other adults who don’t know me, “don’t worry, they just get that way. Just let them be, they’re return to normal eventually.” Then she muttered something that sounded like, “well, it depends on how they define normal!”

I love my family…

Life is short: wear your boots and leather!