What I feared has proven to be true, and that is that being forced to remain seated in a chair while my broken leg recovers without getting any exercise whatsoever has resulted in my gaining some weight.

Actually, I haven’t gained very much — five pounds — but it’s all in the worst place: my abdomen. Further, I think my muscles in my right leg (the wounded one) have atrophied a little, so I probably have less weight in my right leg than usual, and even more in my abdomen.

I surfed the web for some information about what to do, including searching for some exercises that I can do without requiring standing or balance. There were a few, mostly related to sit-ups, which I’ve not been able to do well since Mr. Tucker forced me to do them in grade school. I’ll try, but it ain’t gonna happen if the ol’ body doesn’t want it to.

While on the same website, I reviewed suggested lists of things to have in my diet and things to avoid. Of course, having lots of calcium is important for bone healing. I like to drink milk… but oh no, other stuff on the list is reversed. That is, the things they suggest that I eat “in plentiful amounts” are just the things that give me diarrhea.

Sh*t… literally. It’s like they looked on my list of what I can’t eat, and wrote it all down: soy flour, collard greens, bok choi, broccoli, carrots, pumpkin, sweet potatoes (yams). Salmon and sardines? Nope…. Tofu? Ya gotta be kiddin’! Fruits and nuts — nope. Beans and chickpeas — you could hear me fart ’round the world. Tomato salsa… nope. Grapefruit… well, I probably could eat grapefruit, but I can’t stand the taste.

I’m sure this is good-for-me stuff, but if it will make me crap all the time and feel bloated and miserable, those things aren’t going to work, regardless of the healing qualities they have. I’ll just take a multivitamin + mineral supplement.

Then the things they say to avoid: milk other than skim (skim milk tastes so awful; I would rather drink water.) Red meats — well, if I can’t eat vegetables or fish high in protein, how else will I get protein? Hot dogs and hamburgers — well, we agree there; I’m not eating them. Sugar, caffeine, and soft drinks? Believe it or not, I limit myself to one Coke Zero a day, and that’s it. No coffee, no chocolate, no other sweets. I have been good!

I have been counting calories, and my daily caloric intake has averaged about 1,400, which for a man my age and size, is about 2/3 of daily average. But I know I am not burning it off.

So up on the crutches, and walk around and around on a circuit of the dining room – living room – family room – foyer – kitchen – (and repeat).

I just can’t wait until I can do this without those darned crutches and on my own two booted feet.

Life is short: watch your weight!

I am trying to regain some of what I always enjoyed doing: cooking in my kitchen. My partner saw some cooking show on TV, and against my better judgment, I offered to make him the dish. It was a fairly easy recipe to make a pasta sauce consisting of cooked onion, garlic, tomatoes, and sausage.

I spent an hour making this dish. I spent a good deal of the time sitting on our kitchen island, which has sorta become my new “home.” But I also had to stand like a flamingo with my broken leg bent at the knee and raised in the air while at the stove stirring the meal. By the time the food was ready, I was very tired and sore.

My partner got our drinks ready, and poured milk for me. What I can never understand is that he only fills my glass half-way. It is not like I can get up and refill it. Oh well, I accept what I am offered.

Unfortunately, I could barely eat any of what I had prepared. I cannot eat tomatoes, onion, or garlic. I like onion and garlic as flavors, but I cannot eat these vegetables, even after they were slowly simmered. They make me very sick to my stomach and then give me the trots the next day.

However, my partner was enjoying what I prepared so much that I smiled and picked out the sausage and rigatoni that was on my plate and ate that. What was important to me is that he was happy, as he has been working so hard to care for me since I broke my leg.

I looked out the window and saw deer at the bird feeder, so I told my partner about our unwanted visitors. He went outside to chase them away, and while he was gone, I emptied the tomatoes and onions from my plate onto his. I also had time to hobble sideways to the refrigerator and get myself some more milk. When he returned after chasing the deer and resumed his seat at the table, he kept shoveling it down, and did not notice what I had done.

Soon thereafter, my stomach began to turn. I hobbled to the drawer where we keep OTC remedies, and took an antacid. My partner then handed me his plate and asked for another helping. I gladly served him.

He said, “don’t you want any more?” I said, “no, I have had enough.” I sat with him and finished my milk. I starved the rest of the night, but seeing the smile on his face was worth it.

Have you ever prepared a meal for someone else and they loved it but you did not?

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

While I am feeling better and getting stronger every day, nonetheless, I still have a broken leg. It exhausts me to walk with crutches. Last night, I made home-made spaghetti, meatballs, and baked a loaf of Italian bread. The cleanup was tiring, because (as I say to my partner), “I used ever pot and pan in the kitchen” so there was a lot of cleanup to do, while standing like a flamingo on one leg at the sink.

My partner has been very protective of me, insisting on me not going out anywhere since he is afraid that I could fall, or become tired and … fall. He is so afraid of my falling that he has clamped a very tight lid on my ideas for doing anything out of the house. He wasn’t all that happy that my brother kidnapped me to take me to dinner at my sister’s house. But my family can impose their will sometimes.

What I didn’t tell my partner is that on Thursday, a friend picked me up and took me to a critical meeting with the top legislative official in our county. It was the only time this official was available, and we needed to plead our case with her before the upcoming brutal county budget battles. My friend dropped me off in front of the county office building. While she drove around back to park, I entered through the handicapped entrance and waited for her in the lower lobby. Helpful county employees held the door for me. I made it to the meeting and back home without a problem, and without much walking. I was tired, but not wiped out.

I thought, though, that I shouldn’t mention to my partner that I went to the meeting. He would not be happy about it. However, I was feeling guilty about not telling him, and I don’t lie to him. Sometimes, though, I delay when I will speak with him about certain matters to a time when I know he will be most receptive.

Yesterday afternoon, my partner and I were talking about the family dinner on Friday night, how much I enjoyed it, and seemed to do well in getting there and back. He said, “you did great for your first real trip out since your accident (not counting visits to the doctor).” It was then that I said, “um… well, it was the second trip.” I told him about my previous day’s excursion.

He just rolled his eyes and said, “well, I’m glad you were okay, but tell me about these things, alright?” He did not become angry, as I thought he might, but he was displeased. We had a talk about it, and I told him that as far as I knew, my next trip out would be when he takes me back to the doctor’s office in two weeks.

I looked forward and really don’t have anything that I have to do out of the house until the next doctor’s visit anyway. But it sure felt nice to get out….

Life is short: don’t keep secrets.

Late yesterday afternoon, my partner left to go to the grocery store, and I was fiddling around on the computer. I would have liked to have gone to the store with him, but I cannot walk yet due to my broken leg, so I had to stay home.

The doorbell rang. I hobbled over and let my older brother in. He chatted a bit about the weather, his kids, and stuff, but it was unusual for this particular brother to come visit, especially at this time of day. I came out and asked him, “what’s up?”

He said, “I never could keep anything from you. Just accept the fact that we’re kidnapping you!”

What?

“Yep, we are taking you to R’s house for our usual Friday family dinner. You haven’t been there in over a month. It’s time. We miss you.”

I was concerned that my partner would come home and be upset that I wasn’t there. My partner doesn’t have or use a cell phone, so I had no way to reach him.

My brother had that all figured out. “Don’t worry about your partner, he knows all about it. He will meet us there.”

Whaaatttt? My partner has avoided these family dinners for years. The noise, the people, the clatter, the kids running around. It all drives him crazy. When did they speak with him? I never heard him on the phone. (My partner seldom uses the phone at all, and never takes personal calls at his office.)

Well, no matter. My life at the moment was out of my immediate control. I locked up the house and carefully hobbled through the garage out to my brother’s van. He and his son helped me to get into it, very gently.

When we pulled up at my sister’s house, a bunch of the family all came out. They almost carried me inside. They helped me to a recliner in my sister’s family room. My partner was right there, and had a seat next to me. They waited on me hand-and-foot.

It was so wonderful to see everyone again. My sister prepared a great meal, even choosing items that were both low in calories and within the limits of what I can eat. That isn’t easy to do when you’re feeding 40 people. I was feeling so much better. My partner even enjoyed the event.

All too soon, it was time to go. I was getting tired, despite how energized I was feeling. My family helped me get into my partner’s car. My partner had to keep reassuring them that he wouldn’t need help to get me into the house. We have managed to do that when he has taken me out for doctor’s appointments.

How sweet. I cherish my lovely family. I have indeed missed them. It was great to be back among the living, even for a little while.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them. My family sure did.

PS: I should have figured it out, but the family used email to plan this with my partner. That’s why I didn’t hear any phone conversation.

I am just wondering… how will I show my partner how much I sincerely appreciate all he has done for me since I was such a klutz and broke my leg?

He says, “it’s what we do. Don’t think anything more about it. You have been there to help me, now it’s my turn.”

Yeah, I know, he’s right, but it is so very hard for this caregiver to be on the long-term receiving end of care.

Then I think about all of my elder buds. They are still bringing me casseroles and treats. For more than a month now… they call, come over to visit, and bring stuff. They are so sweet, so kind, so thoughtful. How will I ever be able to say thanks?

My elder buds have stepped up to help each other, at my request. Most of the time, all my older friends really need is some attention and friendship. Linking them together has been fun, and to see blossoming friendships develop has been sheer joy.

My best friend AZ calls me every weekday. It is so sweet to hear his voice and hear the love. What a treasure I have in knowing him and sharing such a deep, personal friendship.

I have my family to thank, too. They call and occasionally come by for a visit. They won’t let my head get (too) filled with self-pity, angst, and frustration. They keep me well grounded, for they know that my situation is only temporary. They have a wonderful way of demonstrating that fine line of compassion and poking their brother’s hot air, so he doesn’t get too inflated, nor too low, mood-wise. Especially J — he keeps me laughing and crying and smiling … a LOT! His blog post that appeared yesterday demonstrates that. How blessed I am to have him as my very own twin-brother-best-friend.

When I am back in two boots wearing normal clothes (hopefully, leather)… how will I express my thanks?

I guess I’ll do what my family and friends tell me to do: be me.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.