Some Cool Ride Shots

Posted on by

Here are some photos that were taken on some motorcycle rides that my club goes on.  I didn’t take any of these photos because I wasn’t on these rides.  The rides were too long and too “spirited” (that is, too fast) for me to be comfortable, within my riding limits, to go on.  Nonetheless, it’s great to see the scenery and the fun.

In one way, I’m gonna miss being photographer for the club next year, because you get to see all these great photos.  However, I’ve announced that I don’t want to continue in this position for a fourth year.  The job isn’t as much taking pictures, but it is gathering them, assembling, cropping, editing, resizing… it takes many, many, hours and to be honest, I’m kinda burned out.  Time to turn the reigns over to someone else.  

Meanwhile, enjoy some cool ride shots taken by some of my friends.

Last Ride of the Season

Posted on by

I went on what I think was the last group ride (for me) of the season yesterday.  I say that because it is predicted to rain a lot this coming week, so I won’t be able to ride mid-week.  This coming weekend, I’ll be so busy I won’t be able to ride.  Then the week after that, I will have my hernia repaired, so I will not be able to ride for several weeks after that.

Today’s ride was rather “spirited” — meaning it was rather fast for what was supposed to be short, casual, non-highway ride.  And there were a lot of us in the pack — some 21 bikes and 25 riders (that means four passengers).  I was planning to have a passenger, too, with my friend LC, but he wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t able to join me.  I am sorry that he couldn’t make it, but some of the turns and some of the riding was challenging to ride on my own, much less with a passenger.

So there I am, in full leather — started off with a t-shirt and leather shirt with my motorcross jacket, my leather riding pants, medium-weight leather gloves and while you can’t tell from this photo, I had on my 17″ Chippewa Hi-Shine boots.  We stopped along the way for riders who got divided by a tough road crossing to catch up.  While stopped, I took off the leather shirt, as the temperatures were climbing, and put my jacket back on with thinner Damascus leather gloves.

It was a fine, unexpectedly sunny, very pleasant day.  The temps by mid-day were 75°F (24°C) — absolutely wonderful on a great autumn day.

While I was rather tired by the time the group pulled into a parking lot at the destination late lunch stop, I was jazzed because we all had a good time, including me.  What a great end to my riding season.

Life is short:  RIDE!

Funeral Tribute By Air

Posted on by

A close friend with whom I went skydiving a lot back in the ’80s and ’90s died on Thursday of last week after a prolonged illness.  I was saddened of his passing, but appreciated that he was finally relieved of his suffering.

His wife asked me to be a pall bearer, along with three of our skydiving companions.  So yesterday, we suited up in our skydiving gear and I got out my parachute (which took me hours to open, clean, and repack correctly since I haven’t gone skydiving in about a year), and arrived at his funeral by air.  Well, actually, we arrived via parachute!  [Photo by the pilot using a cell-phone camera; I’m upper left].  We landed right on a ballfield next to the church where the funeral was held.

After landing, we quickly stashed our ‘chutes in a van and met the hearse at the church, and escorted our friend’s casket into the church for the service.  This was the first time I have served as a pall bearer in skydiving gear and jump boots, but that’s how my friend knew me and my friends, and that’s how we wanted to appear — as he remembered us best.

One of my fellow skydiving companions gave a very fitting and mostly humorous eulogy, and closed with the words that my friend always said, “you can’t seem to get rid of the butterflies when you skydive, but you can teach them how to fly in formation!”

Rest in peace, my friend…

Life is short:  show those you love, even in death, that you love them.

How to Win Friends (or not)

Posted on by

Having a boot-and-leather oriented website and blog (this one), it is not unusual to receive messages from people who see the website or blog.  However, contrary to popular belief, I don’t get that many messages from people I don’t know.  That’s despite having an average of over 2,500 unique visitors to one or more pages on my website each day, or over 500 daily visitors to this blog.  The vast majority of visitors reach my website and blog through the use of search engines like Google.  Some, however, have found it via links from my YouTube Channel, or links from profiles on hotboots.com, recon.com, and a few other places.  To be honest, I forget where I’ve linked it over the past five years.

Anyway, a way to “win friends,” or to build a friendship with me is to communicate in a sane and rational manner.  Sure, like anyone else, I appreciate compliments, but I am not seeking praise nor expect it in order to make a friendship.  What I look for is normal communication that demonstrates respect, kindness, and intelligence.  I admit, grammar and spelling is important to me.  If someone cannot spell (and English is their primary language), then it tells me something.  A typo or two is forgivable.  Writing to me in “text-speak” with all those abbreviations is not.  Email is a form of written communication — like a letter — and isn’t a text message.  Learn the difference!

I understand that a number of my visitors live in countries where English is not primary, yet they try to communicate with me in English as best they can.  I am very understanding about that, and accept that nuances of American English are not well understood, and are not handled well by on-line translators.

I will give three examples — two good and one bad — of some recent contacts.

1.  A guy from New England who rides a Harley contacted me.  He had been reading my blog, and sent me a message describing his interest in riding Harleys, told me about the boots he likes to wear when riding (and thanked me for information about the boots that he found on my website), and gave me some suggestions on riding in the Canadian Maritimes about which I had posted on my blog a desire to ride sometime.  He was cordial, friendly, and normal.  His message was describing his interests and talked about some of mine, as well as helped me pursue one of my motorcycle touring interests.  We have subsequently exchanged dozens of email messages about a variety of topics.  He’s straight, I’m gay — so what?  With his permission, I posted a couple of his messages recently as a “guest blog.”

2.  “LC” contacted me through my website complimenting me on it, but also describing his interests in leather.  His message was brief, but well-written.  We began a conversation and I was pleased to take him on a motorcycle ride recently.  What led to our getting together was an exchange of email that indicated to me that he was safe, normal, intelligent, and that we share some common interests.  Yeah, we’re both gay and we both really like leather, so there’s the beginning of the conversation, but not the end to it.

3.  The bad example is a recent one, that said, “Hello Dear how are you? you have great pics, love all your boots I would like to be your partner just to have you wearing those boots 24/7, I am 34 very handsome and masculine Italian looking, I am serious i really want to be you please let me know?”   As I was reading the message, I was asking myself, “is this guy nuts?”  Right out-of-the-blue, he’s proposing partnership.  He wrote with incomplete sentences — he wants to “be me” or “wants to be you(r partner)?”  Huh?  I just delete messages like this.

Let me assure you, I seldom get messages like that, but I do… sometimes, and into the electronic “trash” they go.

I try to answer all legitimate messages that I get.  I like to make friends, and talk about mutual interests.  I don’t care if you’re gay or straight or ride a motorcycle or not… what I care about is that you’re normal, safe, sane, and can carry your half of a written conversation.

I am pleased to have developed some wonderful friendships by starting off with an email exchange.  My friends, “AZ”, Kevin, Clay, Bama-David, “John Smith”, Steve, and some others initiated friendships with me that way.  My life is much better with them in it.  We enjoy our frequent email contact, and occasional chances to see each other in person when travels permit.

So in summary, communicate well, and you’ll win friends.  Make off-the-wall proposals, and you won’t.

Life is short:  communicate.

Unexpected "Date Night"

Posted on by

Yesterday my partner called me during the day — which caused my heart to skip a beat, because he never calls me on the phone unless it’s an emergency.  He said, “change your dinner plans, put away whatever you got out to make.  I’m taking care of dinner tonight.”  And he wouldn’t say much more….

When he arrived home from work, he handed me a bouquet of flowers and pulled out some bags from a restaurant up the road that we both like (though don’t go to but maybe once a year.)  He said, “it’s a date night… let’s enjoy dinner and snuggle after.”

He pulled out the china and set the table in our formal dining room.  He plated the meal and seated me, held my hand, and told me that he loved me.  We toasted each other with our respective glasses of water.  

Awww… how sweet.  For no reason at all, he brought me flowers and dinner and wow, was he ever snuggly! 

Damn, I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Boots, Breeches, Chaps & Jeans

Posted on by

I got to go play hooky yesterday and go for a motorcycle ride with some friends.  Typical attire among bikers:  me in leather breeches, companions in chaps, one in jeans, and all of us in boots (I was wearing Dehner patrol boots).

Though a bit cool and overcast, it was great to get out for a ride. Our riding season is drawing to a close, so I am trying to take advantage of every opportunity I have to get out when I can.

Companions faces blurred to protect the innocent.

Life is short: RIDE!

Black Tie? Nope…

Posted on by

This is the second (and last for now) of my bloggetory about invitations to and attending dressy events.  I sparked a spirited conversation with yesterday’s post.

Goodness knows, I get more than ample invitations to such events.  Such is the nature of my civic work and spirited community activism.  But despite some people’s thoughts that these events are enjoyable, they aren’t to me.  That’s “to me” — not to others.  But the mere thought of having to dress up — and in the case of “black tie,” wearing a tux or formal wear (as my friend SJ’s comment from yesterday, where a Scot may wear formal highland regalia) — just doesn’t work for me.  At all. Period.

In the last several years, I have declined all such invitations.  And I don’t lie about it.  I just tell whoever is inviting me that I don’t like such events because I don’t like to dress up, and do not want to come. (I also have to admit that I hate shelling out money to rent formal wear, as I never would own any, though I love watching the rental proprietor’s face when I tell him that I will be wearing boots; no formal shoes for me!)

To me, it’s worse if there is dancing involved.  Some of these events have a band or DJ and and dance floor, inviting people to dance in whatever way works with the music being played.  Gawd I hate to dance.  I am such a friggin’ klutz that everyone — I mean everyone — who has tried to dance with me (or teach me to dance) has run for the hills (my partner included.)  Seriously, when everyone else goes “cha-cha-cha,” I go “bing-bang-boinnnng — fumble-crash-fall — oh, I’m sorry I stepped on your foot again.”

My huge family who seem to have weddings often (the “greats” are all getting married now) kinda know that when they extend an invitation to me for their wedding, that my partner and I will show up for the church service, see the family, smile, shake hands — then as soon as the service is over, we go home.  That’s my doing, though my ever-reluctant-to-socialize partner has no qualms about ditching the reception, either.  And I don’t attend weddings held out-of-town, where I can’t “escape.”  (One fairly recent exception, where I was Best Man for my twin brother at his formal wedding in Venice.  But even then, the minute I gave the toast at the reception, I left.  My brother and my new sister-in-law knew I was going to do that, and understood.  They didn’t like it, but they understood that I would be sooooo very uncomfortable, they let me go as soon as I could gracefully exit.)

Some people think that all gay guys like to dance and are good at it, as if the gay gene is also in control of the ability to dance.  Not true.  There are a number of gay guys who don’t like to dance, and there are a lot of straight guys who dance well.  The ability to dance and the interest in dancing has nothing to do with one’s sexual orientation.

Plus, I don’t know if all families are this way, but I see a lot of behaviors that I would rather not see after they become lubricated with alcohol which usually occurs at wedding receptions.  Tongues get loose, and people say the silliest, strangest things.  Not nasty, mind you.  Not about my being gay.  They’re all long past that and know not to say things like that.  But they boast and brag and just drive me crazy because I know “the real them” and know that a lot of what they’re saying isn’t quite the truth.

I seriously have wondered if my choice not to attend these events has held me back in some way.  Perhaps by choosing “not to play the part,” I possibly have excluded myself from being considered for a promotion or an appointment to some prestigious group, board, or panel.  I don’t know what I don’t get asked to do, but I do hear the a few others brag about the big gig they were invited to participate on because they attended such-and-such an event, or played golf with the big cheese.  (I’m not a golfer, either… oh my, what great lack of social ladder-climbing skills have I!)

But I digress… and perhaps am feeling that I am a bit unusual.  Heck, we all are unusual in our own way.  But my strong feeling of “ick” keeps me away from these things.  Black tie?  The only black tie you’ll see on me is a leather tie I wear sometimes with a leather shirt.  That’s it.  Just me.

Life is short:  learning to say “no” helps maintain sanity.

Avoidance of Pretentiousness or What?

Posted on by

I was speaking with a friend, as well as my partner and my brother about a situation that came up recently. I was invited to an evening event that is being held in an upscale hotel’s penthouse that has a commanding view of the city of Washington, DC.  The event begins with cocktails, and is followed by dinner.  It begins “around” 7:30pm… with no stated end-time.  My partner was included (as in, “you may bring your spouse or ‘significant other’.”)  The dress code is “jacket & tie.”

When I received the invitation, I read though it and then rolled my eyes.  This event should be something I should attend, as it as to do with my new job.  It would give me an opportunity to “meet the team.”  However, it is being held in a place that is far away, late at night, in what, to me, is a pretentious atmosphere.

That is, I assert that events such as I described where people dress up to attend, that they are dressing to play a part, and the part that they play is not really who they are.  Thus, they are pretending… “putting on airs” … and perhaps showing off.  I detest this kind of stuff.

As I was reading the invitation, my stomach was tightening into knots.  It really was making me a bit ill even to think about having to go to the event.  But… it’s for the new job, so I would have to buck up, get over my reluctance to attend, suit up, and join the party.  I would have to go alone, since my partner absolutely, positively, would not go with me (and I wouldn’t force the issue).

However, then I realized that the date of the event is one day after I am scheduled to have my hernia repaired.  There’s no way that I could drive all the way across town to an event that runs late into the night when I am just recovering from surgery.  Surely, the new boss will understand that!  (He did.)

Anyway, I feel that I am quite in the minority when it comes to events like this.  Most people would jump at the chance to go to this venue, and be wined and dined in such an upscale atmosphere.  Am I alone in feeling repulsed by this?

The timing of these things is about as follows:  “starting at 7:30pm” means that the “fashionably late” time to arrive is 8:00 to 8:30pm… with an hour of drinking alcohol (which I don’t) until about 9:30pm, then dinner with stuff I can’t eat… estimating the event ending about midnight, followed by an hour’s drive home.

How does one tell the new boss that he turns into a pumpkin at 9pm?  Or tell him that he can’t eat what likely will be served? (don’t tell me, “share your diet restrictions.” Believe me, that doesn’t work.) … or that I don’t drink alcohol, including wine (which makes me physically ill)… so “have plenty of water?”  Yeah, right.

Do men who dress up in a suit and tie escorting their lovely (female) spouses dressed in a nice dress to events like this behave differently compared with men who, for example, show up at a buddy’s house in comfortable clothes to watch a football game?  I contend that they do… and further, much of the behavior in such costume is pretentious.

I could be wrong, and would invite comments to disabuse me of that notion.

Meanwhile, I’m just hangin’ out in jeans, leather, and boots.

Life is short:  be who you are, not something you’re pretending to be.

Posted in Job

A Ride With a Leather Buddy

Posted on by

I was pleased to be contacted via my website by Leather Chad (“LC”), who lives in the Washington, DC, area, near where I live.  We exchanged some messages, and in one of them, I invited him to join me for a ride on my Harley.

I’ve said that on some postings in various places that I like to take people either on my bike or ride with people who share similar interests — boots & leather.  Well, I have to be honest, five years now with that message “out there,” and this was the first local contact I’ve had that has actually worked out — someone joining me for a ride.

“LC” is a very handsome, intelligent man who is very interesting to speak with.  We got together yesterday afternoon.  I gave him a ride on my Harley through the Maryland countryside.  The leaves on the trees are beginning to change colors, and the weather was delightful — perfect “leather weather.”  (I was in leather breeches, a pair of Dehner Boots, a leather shirt and vest.)

We stopped to take a break and talked about a wide variety of things, then rode back.  What a pleasant afternoon with a really nice guy!

“LC” had a nice pair of harness boots and a great leather jacket.  He promises that the next time we ride, he’ll wear some leather pants.  Great — but what’s most important is that we will have that next time.  I enjoyed meeting him, and look forward to more rides with my buddy.

Life is short:  ride!

Boots and Breeches: Looking Good on a Motorcycle

Posted on by

A note from BHD: the following guest blog post was written by a friend who rides a Harley and lives in Vermont. He’s a straight guy, quite witty, and has opinions that are similar to my own. I thought some of his recent email messages were interesting. With his permission, I am posting his comments below.  

Photos are of me, to illustrate the point, not of my friend.

———————

Everything old is new again. You are just a trend setter. You know looking good is not just a, for lack of a better phrase “a gay thing”. I think there may be a perception from some people that wearing boots is just for gay men and it is not.

I live in Vermont. We have had civil unions and gay mariage for so long here I don’t even think about how sometimes that in other locations that this kind of bigotry still exists. As long as you are not wearing your chaps with the crotch exposed with boots on your bike on the highway, then screw ’em.

Everything is retro. You know part of the the Harley experience is being an individual. Everyone’s bike is differrent. Each is customized to what the owner wants and every one wears what they want to in order to express themselves in the way they want. That is why you ride a Harley. Next time someone busts your balls about the boots, tell them if they keep it up, you will kiss them, I doubt they will say anything to you again. Include some photos of you in your boots in a biker newsletter. Maybe some other guys will ask you where to get some boots. Tell them that the women love them.

—————————
… and from another message about wearing boots and breeches on a Harley, my friend said:

I am the only one around here to wear boots and breeches. My girlfriend has a pair of boots and breeches too. During the forties and fifties most everyone riding a motorcycle wore boots and breeches. As I said I do not wear them in the summer as it is just too hot so I switch to jeans but do wear the poly breeches if it is not too hot. I have to tell you, I really do not give a darn what people think.

I do receive a lot of compliments from women about the boots. They love them and I love women, so it kind of works out. Just again the other day we had taken a ride and were walking around a country store. A woman came up to me and said, “I love your boots.” I don’t wear breeches with a stripe as I don’t want to be confused with being an on-duty cop. If it was me and some one made a disparaging comment about my boots, I would tell them that I would just stick them up their ass to find out how they feel. Or you could just tell them to go f*ck themselves.

I would not get too self-conscious about it. Both Harley and Davidson wore breeches when they rode. Just look at some older photos and any old issue of a Harley magazine, and it is filled with riders wearing boots and breeches. They must have been on to something.