Yearly Archives: 2008

How Do You Wear Cowboy Boots?

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Believe it or not, someone entering that question into a search engine is quite common. I get about ten or twenty visits each day to the page on my website about how to wear cowboy boots as a result of someone entering that question or one similar to it.

I’ve wondered why. I mean, what does the person really want to know? What to wear with cowboy boots? How to wear them (jeans inside or not?), or what?

I’ve quit being over-analytical, and just realized that this is a common question. So rather than just have a demonstration as I originally had on that page about how to get jeans to stay down inside cowboy boots if that’s how someone wants to wear them, I provided some more detail and realistic information about just how men wear cowboy boots in the U.S.

Just put on your jeans, pull on your boots, and stand tall. But… there is a little bit more to it, if you care to read on. Here are three primary components to the topic, which really relate more to the clothing worn with cowboy boots than the boots themselves:

  • Do guys wear jeans inside or outside boots?
    — outside. Sure you see a lot of pics of the cowboy boots on my website with me wearing jeans inside them. That’s really just to show the boots for purposes of a boot-related website. But in the day-to-day, men wear jeans over boots. The only times I see men wearing jeans inside their boots is if they are riding rodeo or attending an event such as a “boot night” where you want people to see the boots.

Rattlesnake boots

  • What are “stacked jeans”?
    — you want to have jeans that are long enough to come down to the foot of the boot, but not so long as to drag on the floor behind the heel. The jeans may form a soft fold along the foot of the boot. That is “stacked jeans” — simply, the jeans are long enough to stack (or fold) on top of the boot foot. This is the way most men wear jeans with boots. If jeans are shorter than that, they don’t look right with boots and sometimes the man wearing jeans that ride up the boot shaft suffers consequences of ridicule. Goodness knows, I’ve endured that when some people who “don’t get it” have visited my website, linked to it from a blog or forum, and then made comments that reflect their lack of intelligence.
  • Wranglers, Levis, or designer jeans?
    –Cowboys, especially those who ride horses, and Bikers (that is, those of us who ride motorcycles), prefer Wranglers since the inseam of Wranglers is on the outside of the leg, whereas the inseam of Levis is on the inside. An “inside inseam” can rub against the leg and get really uncomfortable after a few hours. Levis were really popular years ago. But since their production was moved outside the U.S. in 1996, the quality is not in the product like it once was. And designer jeans? FuggetAboutIt (as they may say in New York City). Unless you’re on a fashion runway, save your money and get Wranglers. Masculine men — gay or straight — wear regular-old straight-legged blue jeans. (Don’t even ask about how silly baggy and low-rise jeans look on adult men. They’re for kids.)

Now, back to cowboy boots, a few questions that search engines bring to my blog or website have included:

  • What color of cowboy boots should I get?
    — if you wear boots in an office, then get solid-color, all-leather black, brown, black cherry, or grey. If you like a distinctly different style, snakeskin cowboy boots look really good, and come in a wide variety of colors. For more detailed answers, see my tutorial on choosing boots on my website.
  • How tall should the boots be?
    — Since most men wear jeans or pants over boots, the height of the boot really doesn’t matter. That’s why most standard cowboy boots are 13″ (33cm) tall. Tall enough to feel like a boot. There are taller cowboy boots available, either as Buckaroo boots or from custom shops, and I have some of those. They feel great on the legs. Answer is: get what you want.
  • Do men wear cowboy boots with suits?
    — Yes, especially in the U.S. Midwest and some states in the South, it is quite common to see men dressed in a suit, tie, and cowboy boots. Don’t worry about what others may think. Be a man. You like boots? Wear ’em. If you are worried about what other people may say, then you probably are better off wearing tassled loafers, anyway.

So, that’s the story, as simple as it is — How Do You Wear Cowboy Boots? Confidently, proudly, and with pleasure.

Life is short: Wear your boots!

Chippewa Hi-Shines with Ultimate Traction

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BHD's Lugged Chip ShinesHave you ever had one of those experiences where you saw something that someone else was wearing and you said to yourself, “I’d like to get that!”

That happened to me in May. I saw a motor officer at the Law Ride® in Washington, DC, who was wearing — as a number of cops were — a pair of Chippewa Hi-Shine engineer boots. What I liked most about the boots, though, is that they had a thick, Vibram® 100 lug sole. I blogged about it here.

I started hunting for those boots, and spoke with someone at Chippewa, who said that they don’t make them, and confirmed it with Mike, owner of Stompers Boots of San Francisco, and Ron & Rich, owners of Big Black Boots. The boot retailers seemed to think that there wasn’t much of a market for them. I beg to disagree.

I was hoping that perhaps Chippewa, owned by Justin Brands, Inc., might consider offering their Hi-Shine engineer boots with lug soles. Lots of cops that I spoke with then, and many more since, have told me that they would like to get the boots with that sole and not to have to go through the trouble of finding a cobbler to add the sole later. (Hmmm, perhaps my loyal lurker from Justin Brands might see this and pass it on to the appropriate people?)

There were some of us, for example, who were disheartened when Chippewa discontinued offering lug soles on their shorter oil-tanned engineer boots. Nothing is wrong with the soles on their boots now — there are some of us, cops included, who prefer soles that offer the ultimate traction when we ride our big machines, plant our boot on the ground at stops, and when we ride in parades or other slow traffic, need to have a lot of control by using the boots to help us control speed (or crawl), very frequent stops, and maneuvering procedures, such as “walking” the bike forward and backward when parking.

Well, anyway, after all this talking and looking and thinking, I just got myself a new pair of Chip Hi-Shine Engineer Boots with Vibram® 100 lug soles! Whoo-hoo!

Since I already have a pair of these boots, some have wondered (my partner being among the first) why I wanted another pair of these boots. In fact, I had “lug-lite” soles added to my existing Chippewa Hi-Shines by a cobbler in June.

Well, the answer is in learning that my very favorite boot retailer, Stompers Boots, is in such a dire financial condition due to the crappy economy that Mike, the owner, may have to close the store next year. I thought, then, I’d throw some more business his way to try to help out, and get the boots now, rather than wait indefinitely. (And if you’re a Bootman like me and like what Stompers has to offer, this is a suggestion to get your orders in now!)

Life is short: Wear your boots! (I sure do!)
Stompers Boots

The Gays Aren’t Convincing Me

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Today, December 10, 2008, is International Human Rights Day. The organization “Join the Impact” proposed (again, on short notice) that gay people are supposed to call in “gay” to work, and donate their time to voluntary service.

While I’m all for voluntary service, donating about 20 hours each week to serve others publicly and privately, the idea of “calling in gay” doesn’t wash with me.

I read the “A Day Without A Gay” website (now defunct), and didn’t find anything of much value to justify calling in to work to take the day off in protest of violations of human rights. My employer doesn’t violate human rights — why punish them? More on that below.

In the past eight years under this President (whose name I can’t even write because it makes me ill), the United States went from being a champion of human rights around the world to joining the league of the world’s worst abusers of human rights. We’ve got A LOT of work to do on that front. Banning same-sex marriage in state constitutions, while homophobic and mean-spirited, isn’t nearly the same thing as holding “detainees” in Guantanamo indefinitely because we think they knew where the WMDs were in Iraq. (Okay, I’m treating this with levity, but you get my drift.)

Then in reading the “day without a gay” website more deeply, there was one thing that really made me angry: it suggested that one way to “volunteer” today was to try to give blood. Man, that suggestion makes my blood boil, but before I explain why, some readers may not be aware of the regulations surrounding the situation. Here it is, quoted directly from their website (but also widely published elsewhere):

In response to the AIDS crisis of the 1980’s the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) banned any man who has had sex with another man since 1977 from giving blood. This 1985 provision argued that men who have sex with other men are at higher risk of contracting and transmitting HIV and hepatitis, posing a health risk to potential recipients.

While I find this FDA ruling to be absurd, particularly in 2008, nonetheless, you won’t find an FDA representative at any facility that collects blood. So it places an exceptionally unfair burden on the poor intake worker at a blood collection center to have to turn someone away by enforcing a rule that they didn’t write or have anything to do with.

A better option for service would be to stage a well-organized and coordinated protest with letter-writing campaign to people who can influence the new FDA Commissioners, when appointed, to change the rule. But don’t send people to waste their time (gay men trying to donate blood) and cause a poor intake worker to have to enforce a rule that he/she had nothing to do with creating. It’s just not fair.

Finally, I’m not participating in “A Day Without A Gay” because I like my work, I like my employer, my employer likes me, and treats me fairly. I work in an environment where it’s known that I’m gay, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I am respected and valued for my professional skills and knowledge, my strengths and capabilities, and my leadership. Further, in this day-and-age with the poor economy, the last thing anyone should do is take a day off. This is a time to be seen as working harder, working smarter, and being there.

That’s my two cents (much as that’s worth in today’s economy). Today, for me, is as always, “a day WITH a Gay”.

More on Masculine Gay Men

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I have received several messages in response to my post yesterday titled, Do Masculine Gay Men Scare Masculine Straight Men?” From what I’m reading, there are a number of masculine gay men who have been subjected to taunts, negative comments, and ridicule from straight men when the straight guys find out that they’re gay.

So I did a little bit more research, and found a fascinating article titled “Straightjacketed.”

Several things in that article hit home:

  • Growing up, men are faced with the continual threat of being seen as gay and the continuous challenge of proving that they are not gay. In short, boys and men are kept in line by homophobia.
  • Masculinity is strongly molded by homophobia, the widespread fear of and contempt for homosexuals.
  • Homophobic beliefs are deeply embedded in our society. Even the many books about men largely ignore the fact that mainstream masculinity is heterosexual

I contend that masculine straight men behave as if they are afraid of masculine gay men only because when a guy looks, behaves, dresses, talks, and otherwise appears “as a man,” it goes against what men have been taught by society since they were born. Straight men expect all gay men to behave the same way — with effeminate characteristics, a high squeaky voice, limp wrists, and other characteristics enhanced by the social stereotyping process.

I know more than a few gay men who are not masculine in their behavior at all, and who serve as the role models for the social stereotype that all gay men are “queens.” Well, not all are. Not all straight men are rugged outdoorsy-types, either. Many men these days take on what was considered not too long ago as feminine roles with regard to caring for children and/or elderly parents, cleaning the house, cooking meals, and such.

I also know gay men who are afraid of masculine gay men. Heck, I observe that right where I work, and in my neighborhood. But our differences have nothing much to do with whether we behave as masculine men or not. It simply has to do with being interested in different things. I’m interested in riding my Harley, and wearing boots and leather when I do so. Some of the gay men to which I refer are more interested in going to movies and to clubs. Does either behavior make either one of us more or less “gay?” I think not….

Then the same is true about straight men and gay men — neither one of us is more or less of a man due to the biological expressions of our respective genes that determine whether or not we are hetero- or homosexual. (Yeah, I am clearly among those who believe that gay men are born gay, not “made” gay.)

It all boils down to the focus of the article that I summarized: homophobia is “taught” indirectly by society and men (and some women) react in ways to reject homosexuality because society expects them to behave that way. What some of them may be afraid of is to reject society’s normative instruction — that is, they are afraid to reject homophobia. It is quite possible for men to be straight, but not narrow.

I think it is important for gay men to help straight men learn about who we are, to accept us, and to become our allies. They are more likely to do that if we as gay men behave in ways that don’t fulfill social stereotypes which frighten more men than we may know.

My two cents. What’s yours?

Do Masculine Gay Men Scare Masculine Straight Men?

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I have been following links back to sources of internet content that link to my website or this blog. Some of what I am finding is amusing, some of it indicates that the writer is nothing more than a grade-school dropout, some of it is rants from the Internet Generation, but some of it indicates to me that masculine straight men are afraid of masculine gay men, especially masculine gay men like me who ride a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and who enjoy wearing boots and leather.

I can’t quite figure it out, but I am observing that there are a lot of people — gay and straight — who are insecure.

Insecure gay men demonstrate their insecurity by behaving in a way that gay people refer to as “drama queens.” And man, there are many of them out there. But by referring to them as drama queens, that’s how gay people put them in their place — just little twits who should be ignored.

Masculine straight men demonstrate their insecurities by how vocal they become to ridicule gay men who choose to wear masculine attire, such as boots and leather. Some of these insecure men also have demonized gay men who ride a Harley (or any motorcycle, for that matter). They make broad generalizations about gay men who are confident in their choices of motorcycle to ride and biker attire to wear.

Some have written that gay men only like motorcyclists who are clean-cut and wear designer jeans. Oh, gimme a break. That’s another indicator of stereotyping, which is a sure sign of intellectual ineptitude (or just plain old lack of any intelligence), as well as insecurity.

Face it, straight guys — there are masculine gay men out here, too. Some of us are the proverbial “guy next door” who happens to live with the man he loves. I am one of those guys. I care for my family, neighbors, and friends. I have a full-time job, a home, and a life. I volunteer a lot to serve my community in various ways. And yeah, I ride a Harley in boots (always) and leather (when it is cool/cold.) And I love my one-and-only man.

Did I choose a Harley because “it’s the gay bike?” Ha… like most bikers, I moved up to a Harley after riding Japanese bikes for years, finding them to be unreliable. Great training wheels, but when one is a serious motorcyclist, then he’s going to choose a serious bike: a Harley.

And I know I’m not alone. I’ve made some great friends who are masculine men, who live with their partners, have a life, and contribute to their community in various ways. I’ve met them through a mutual interest in boots, but that really was only a thread that led to an introduction. My masculine friends (you know who you are) have nothing to prove, yet demonstrate their confidence and security each and every day by living with (and sometimes coping with) others who are insecure and attempt to ridicule them, or engage in being negative. I gain strength from their friendship and their positive, secure attitude toward life and those they love — gay and straight.

So that’s about it: I conclude that some masculine straight men are afraid of masculine gay men, but that is because they are insecure, and won’t admit it. So go ahead and link to my blog or my website and ridicule me. I’m man enough to take it. I quit worrying about school-yard bullies in second grade.

Booted Travel

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Someone asked me what other pair of boots besides Dehners did I travel with when I went on my recent trip. Pictured, I wore my Nocona Rattlesnake cowboy boots. Man, these boots are comfortable, look great, and are easy to slip off at security. They look great with jeans, which I wear when I travel on airplanes. (Fortunately, I do not have to dress up when I fly; that seems just so darned uncomfortable. Everyone in a suit on a plane grimaces all the time, like someone is pinching them or they are angry. Guess it goes with having a noose around the neck.)

Further, I was asked if anyone made any remarks about my boots. A few minor comments, but nothin’ much.

1. When my airport shuttle van stopped at a hotel to drop off another passenger, a bellhop helping the passenger get out of the van noticed my boots and asked, “what kind of skin are they?” I replied, “Rattlesnake.” He said, “Cool!” .. and that was it.

2. One day of the two-day meeting, I wore my Dehner Patrol Boots with a nice pair of dress black slacks. I sat at a table with law enforcement leaders from different jurisdictions around the U.S. One of them noticed my boots, which led to a conversation about bike cops in general, but alas, not much about boots.

And that’s that. No one else anywhere — at the airports, on transit, at the hotel, or during the meeting — made any remarks about the boots on my feet.

To tell you the truth, most people had their noses buried in their Blackberries, writing email or reading it. They were so self-absorbed that they weren’t looking at other people, much less boots or anything else. Most wouldn’t have a clue if the sky fell in around them or what was going on in the conference. I saw one guy tapping away on his Crackberry at National Airport*, and he walked into a pillar. He really hit his nose hard, as I saw blood. He seemed to want to yell at the pillar for being in his way. What a fool.

There are a lot of people — mostly men — who become so oblivious to everything going on around them because they get so caught up with their electronic gadgets. If not a Blackberry, a cell phone. If not that, a PDA. Whatever, all those toys… sheesh, how did we survive without them?

I’ll tell ya: easily! I don’t have those things and I am so glad I don’t! Well, I do have a cell phone but only because my work requires it, and pays for it. I usually have it turned off and check it for messages when I am on a break or after-hours. I figure if someone is paying me to come give a speech and attend a meeting, the least I could do is give my undivided attention.

Some people have told me that they feel self-conscious about wearing boots in public. I’ve blogged a lot about that before. I won’t repeat myself, but only to emphasize that nobody cares. They really don’t. Wear what you like, and as long as you don’t cause trouble for other people (such as wearing boots that are very hard to remove at security), then don’t worry about it.

* Nota bene: It is very easy to tell if someone is not a native of the Washington, DC, Metro area by what they call the airport with the designator “DCA”. It is, and always will be, “National Airport.” Anyone who calls it by the name of the President who fired all of the air traffic controllers is not a native, and unaware of the huge gazillion-dollar waste of taxpayer money to rename the airport after one of the worst Presidents of this century.

Life is short: Wear your boots!

Love-Letter from the TSA

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I just love traveling with boots and leather gear in my luggage.

Well, not specifically just for that reason, but let me ‘splain.

I just took a quick trip to Orlando, Florida, for a business meeting. Man, I despise that town more and more each time I have to go there. It’s just so fakey! I stayed at a hotel with a Polynesian theme, and I was “aloha-ed” and “mahalo-ed” all over the place. The food was, well, undescribably inedible. But let me say that I don’t eat cold or raw fish! Frankly, I wasn’t able to eat very much at all of the food served during our meetings for risk of becoming ill. That’s okay, I survived.

I brought two pairs of boots with me, including a pair of Dehner Patrol Boots. I also had a leather shirt that I wore in my off time. Just ’cause it was a bit cool, and I like how it feels and keeps me warm without having to wear a jacket.

Today when I got home and unpacked, I found one of those love-letters from the TSA in my luggage, saying that the contents were inspected.

As I say in my Air Travel with Leather Gear Guide on my website:

It’s perfectly okay to travel with leather gear. Don’t worry about the TSA boys getting all uptight. They have lots of other things to worry about and mostly just don’t care what you pack or carry on, as long as it is within the limitations and allowances as described on the TSA website.

I betcha those TSA boys had a little fun figuring out the mix in my luggage — dress shirts, pants, a tie, and Dehners, leather shirt…. socks, underwear, toiletries. Not much really, just a mix of this Leatherman Bootman Meeting-Goer. I just giggle about that, and not much else. I don’t get incensed at my luggage being inspected. I have nothing to hide. But I still find it so disappointing that this has to happen at all. But that’s not my war. I have other battles to fight locally, and I’m more successful at those, anyway.

Life is short: wear your boots and leather! (and don’t worry about the TSA boys. If they get uptight about a little boots and leather in a piece of luggage, that’s their problem.)

The Lost Art of a Thank-You Note

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This smile (actually an old photo but the only one I could find quickly on my computer) reveals my pleasure in receiving over 50 written thank-you notes from the folks who attended our Thanksgiving event.

It truly is a lost art to write a card by hand, express a personal sentiment, write an address on it, put a stamp on it, and put it in the mail. My momma taught me to do that, which is a custom I still follow (along with a card on my elderly friend’s birthdays, anniversaries, or at times of sadness upon the death of a loved-one).

I also want to give a special shout-out to my buddy WearinBoots of Mesa, Arizona. I helped him a little bit by putting together a draft profile that he had imported to hotboots.com. He expressed his thanks by writing a card and sending a gift of really cool boot Christmas tree ornaments. That wasn’t necessary, but was humbly and deeply appreciated. What a thoughtful man.

I am humbled and gratified that some people still remember that a thank-you card is a wonderful gesture. Sure, I appreciate the phone calls, and email, but a card… well, that’s really special. My legion of fun folks that I spend time with as I can — changing a light bulb, replacing a faulty light switch, repairing that sticky door, or even continuing to practice my Italian while playing Bocci — are truly special. I am so richly blessed.

Now that doesn’t mean it’s all love-n-roses. My ever-persistent-keep-the-house-clean partner has been asking, “how long are you going to keep those cards?” … well, “for a while.” I like to read them, sometimes over and over.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Posted in joy

Breaking in Dehner Patrol Boots

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I am delighted to have a motor officer rent a house that I own. It provides him a home in which to live in the county where he works, and gives me a very reliable, trustworthy tenant.

The officer wears patrol boots every day. He has been wearing Dehner bal-laced boots, but told me recently that he has had his eye on the style with the dress instep (no laces). I have both bal-laced and dress instep styles of Dehner Patrol Boots, and we have “talked boots” on occasion. He’s not due for a replacement pair of boots for about another year, but he said that he has needed a new pair because his current boots have “broken badly” at the ankle. He experienced the crease at the back of the boot turning at an angle, thus causing a nuisance and uncomfortable rubbing across the back of his ankles. Yep, it happened in both boots.

Unfortunately, those boots are broken in and can’t be “re-trained.” The ankle break is where it is and nothing will change it. But I’ve come up with a solution.

This cop is such an honest guy, he told me that he thought that he broke the dishwasher and paid to replace it himself. He only told me that he did it after-the-fact. He would not let me reimburse him.

So…. working with my friend and Owner of Stompers Boots, Mike, I bought my tenant a new pair of dress instep Dehner Patrol Boots which I will give to him since he won’t let me pay him for the dishwasher. And to make sure that he doesn’t experience the same problem with a bad ankle break, I applied what I learned from Ron Belanger of Big Black Boots. I broke these boots in for my tenant — only at the ankle, and only to ensure that they creased correctly, horizontally across the back, not at an angle. The Big Black Boots website (no longer working link) explained how to do that. Photo below is what the boots look like head-on (gorgeous, huh?). I can’t wait to give them to him this weekend. I think he will be happy. And you know, a happy cop makes a great tenant!