My poor partner… his frightful medical situation is worse — so bad that I had to carry him, literally, to see his doctor yesterday. The doc wants him admitted to the hospital. No explanation for the intense, body-wide pain.
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My partner has had an onslaught of various medical problems that began last November, and persist today. However, things are getting a little bit better. He is not fully recovered, nor may he ever be. But we are taking it one day at a time.

I shan’t bore you with all the details. But I do want to share some lessons that we learned that may help you, or someone you care about, in the future.
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The Light of My Life, my partner, my best friend, my soulmate, my everything, has been seriously ill for over a month now. On top of some sort of neurological problem which occurs at random and is severe when it happens, he has a really bad cold which has persisted for more than a week. Something is really wrong. He has never had something like a cold last more than a few days, and seldom even gets one.

My partner and I are worried, and are at a loss about what to do. He has seen so many specialists that if there were stock in “doctors” and we owned just one share, we would be rich. He has gone through so many tests that he is glowing in the dark. All the tests, so far, are “inconclusive.”
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So yeah, my last post on this blog was a bit of a downer and uncharacteristic of my usual nature in writing more positively and/or instructively. Sorry about that; nobody likes a gripey sourpuss, myself included. However, it is my blog, and it serves as a bit of a catharsis to write about how I am feeling.

I received some direct email messages as a result of that blog post, and I appreciate what my friends had to say in expressions of concern.

Where do we go from here?
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This time of year is always a challenge with events leading up to Christmas. Requests to attend parties, visits with family and friends who come to town to visit their family, and my ongoing focus on my senior pals, all have demands on a limited supply of time. And that’s not to mention decorating our house, which is something my partner truly enjoys as he likes to have our house looking cheery, particularly to brighten the spirits of his mother who spends Christmas with us.

However, I have had a wake-up call to the demands of my time and priorities for something far more critical…
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Sunday, my partner and I were tending to routine fall outdoor cleanup chores when he suddenly complained of being very dizzy and became nauseous. His speech was slurred and one eye was dilated while the other was not.

I kept my calm, but seriously thought he was having a stroke.
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Sometimes I feel as if we are living in the future that was projected when we watched Star Trek as a kid. By that, I mean that my partner’s surgery and subsequent recovery has been nothing short of amazing.

On Wednesday of this week, I brought my partner to one of the world’s leading teaching hospitals and had his brain tumor “resolved” by an outstanding neurosurgeon.

Using a laser knife, the doctor cut and cauterized the blood vessels that fed the tumor, but did not actually remove it. Because it is not cancerous, it does not have to be removed. It will shrivel and be absorbed.

I brought my partner home on the same night as his surgery, as he didn’t have any complications or need to be admitted to the hospital. And you know, that’s amazing. Imagine — having brain surgery in the morning and being released on the same day!

Yesterday, my partner awoke with a huge smile and tears of joy. He told me that it was the first night in over six months that he slept the entire night without the tinnitus caused by the brain tumor keeping him awake. Later in the day, he rose, got dressed, and read several chapters in a book. He ate well, and even watched some TV. He has no pain anywhere; in fact, my partner refused a prescription for a pain killer. He didn’t need it.

The only down-side to all of this is that he has become deaf in his left ear, but each doctor consulted through this ordeal told us to expect that.

We anticipate that the neurosurgeon will clear my partner to return to regular function when we see him on Monday of next week when the follow-up appointment is scheduled.

Be thankful for employer-provided health insurance, and that you can get the correct care at a very highly-qualified place if you know what to ask for and how to advocate. I thank my lovely aunt who passed away in January for giving me the “advocacy skills” with insurance companies. It is possible to get what you want, but you have to know how to ask for it.

Life is short: get the best care you can.

Here I go again, posting about how much I love my partner.

For the past several months, my partner has not been well. I have described what is going on in previous posts on this blog. He’s managing, and we’ll get through it, together. But there’s a long road ahead.

As my partner has had symptoms that cause him to suffer, then finding out the cause (a non-cancerous brain tumor), he has been even more quiet and reserved than ever. He is behaving that way because he is frightened. I understand that.

I want to help him as much as I can, but there is little that I can do… or so I thought.

What I quickly figured out what he needs most right now is to have me sit with him, hold his hand, and just “be” with him. So that is what I am doing. Just holding his hand, keeping close. We don’t have to say a word, and often we don’t. He can feel how much I love him, just by holding his hand. He knows. I know. That’s what a true, loving relationship is all about.

I felt badly in the way that I allowed other activities in my life take me away from my partner at a time when he needs me to comfort him. I got busy with family, with my motorcycle riding club, with my senior pals, and with community leadership work. I would look forward to writing blog posts and updating my website and so forth and so on — all taking me away from spending time with my partner.

Was it that I didn’t want to be with him? Of course not. But I allowed other things to consume precious time. Fortunately, if I can say one thing for being together 18+ years is that my partner understood that being “busy” was how I was. He never asked for anything, and didn’t complain when I ran off to this meeting or got involved in that project out-of-the-house.

But another credit to being together as long as we have been together is that I figured it out fairly quickly (or at least I am giving myself credit for it) … he wanted and needed more time with me. I scaled back my other activities tremendously — because, after all, my partner truly is my life, my love, my one-and-only. Nothing and no one is more important to me than he is. So if the blog doesn’t get written, the website gets stale, the Harley sits in the garage — so be it. He is my number one.

Life is short: hold the hand of the one you love.

I’m having trouble keeping up with email and tons of love shown on Facebook, so let me give a quick update: my partner’s initial diagnosis indicates a non-cancerous brain tumor. We meet with a neurosurgeon next week to determine next steps, which probably means surgery.

I am looking on the bright side: it’s not cancer, and he is not in pain. In fact, he asked for some of my famous homemade chicken soup for dinner — a recipe that one of our family’s favorite uncles was well-known for.

The hospital staff and physicians were very good to both of us. While we have legal paperwork in place so that I could formally advocate for him if I had to, we didn’t have to produce that. They treated me as his spouse and consulted with me that way.

More to come… but pardon me for a break, as I’m caring for the one I love. Each minute is precious.

Remember: life is short … show those you love that you love them.

My beloved partner hasn’t been well … long story, and I don’t want to get into much detail, but today perhaps we will find out what’s going on as he has exploratory brain surgery to explore what’s up. Mood swings, left ear deafness, severe tinnitus — all indicators of a brain tumor. A CT scan picked up a shadow. Blood tests reveal nothing related to cancer, thank goodness.

An MRI-led biopsy will be performed today. We don’t expect to get the results until he sees his doctor later this week. Meanwhile, we’re hoping and praying that a resolution can be found for this severe health crisis.

I’ll post again when we know what’s up. Meanwhile, your kind thoughts and prayers will be appreciated.

As I often say: life is short; show those you love that you love them. Each day with the one you love is a precious gift.