Black Friday!  The day in the U.S. after Thanksgiving is known to be “the” day when stores offer many sales for Christmas. I shan’t say “to start the holiday season” because many retailers put up holiday displays back in late August. Bah, humbug.

Anyway, what I am I doing today?

NOT shopping. My Christmas shopping was completed in July. However, perhaps I will wear all black leather today, in honor of the name of the day, and also ’cause I like to wear leather. (giggle.)

Today, my partner and I are recovering. This post is a place-holder for a description of how our Thanksgiving went… but I may not update it before it gets posted. I wrote this post a few days ago.

So for now, I am sure that the morning began with a long, warm snuggle with my partner. Both of us have the day off work today. We will likely have to make a run to the dump with collected garbage, return borrowed chairs and tables, and do some housecleaning. Goodness knows, a few years ago we didn’t clean as well as we should have done after one of these Thanksgiving feasts. We discovered a couple weeks later that a turkey leg was, ahem, making its presence known under the sofa in the family room. How it got there, one never knows. Don’t worry, today we will be inspecting thoroughly!

Meanwhile, shopping is the last thing on my mind. Rest, recovery, and basking in great joy from our Thanksgiving is what I’m up to today.

Life is short: wait for Small Business Saturday (tomorrow) if you must shop. Tune in tomorrow for what that’s all about.

Busy, busy, busy today! I have been up and at-em since 4am, preparing for our annual Thanksgiving Holiday senior’s pot-lock bash. Throughout the day, we anticipate seeing about 100 guests, 10 or so family members, some senior elected officials, and who knows what else…

Checklist:

• Turkeys: two cooked and sliced yesterday, two in the oven today, so we get that fresh roasted turkey aroma throughout the day.

• Trimmings: guests bring all the side dishes and desserts. I’m certain we will have more than ample.

• Drinks: all day yesterday, I visited senior pals who were donating soft drinks, beer, and wine, so I could get them home and on ice to chill. (My fridge is beyond full; I am using two neighbors’ refrigerators as well as four humongous ice chests.)

• Plates and utensils: a few of my senior pals do not cook, so they donated plastic forks, knives, and spoons, as well as paper products — durable paper plates, napkins, and paper towels. One also donated a ton of trash bags, which we will definitely find useful!

• Decorating: my partner has done a great job clearing space for guests, and placing some gift flower arrangements that have been sent to us in various places around the house. He also has placed nice table cloths on our dining room and kitchen tables, and even our two kitchen islands where drinks are served.

• Chairs and tables: two nice neighbors have lent me additional folding chairs, TV trays, and card tables. My partner and I moved some of our regular furniture (coffee and end tables) out of the way to open up the space for guests to circulate and provide more room for seated eating.

• Guest attendants: Two sisters, one brother, four nieces, two nephews, and probably a partridge in a pear tree or two will be helping out all day. Bless my family; I know not what I would do without their steadfast support.

• guests: I have confirmed that three high-level elected officials will drop by to share cheer, but not engage in politicking for votes.

• Transportation: while there is probably enough parking near our house (or on our driveway and two neighbors’ driveways), we arrange for most of our guests to be picked up and driven back home. Why? Because we learned that if we do not tell them that their ride is leaving, they are reluctant to leave, which can make for an exceptionally crowded afternoon. Four of my senior pals are doing two shifts of “driving duty” to help resolve this situation.

• Ramps and hand-rails: A few years ago, I built a special ramp that goes from my front door to our driveway, with handrails. It makes it so much easier for seniors who have physical disabilities to join us. My partner and I installed it yesterday and assured that it is firm and stable.

• Wrapping machine: I learned that guests bring much too much food, and there is no way we can eat all the leftovers. So when one of our local grocery stores went out of business, I bought a machine that wraps plates with food wrap. One of my family elves will pile food on a plate for each guest before he/she leaves, wrap it up, place a bow on it, and give it to our guest to take home. Best of both worlds — our guests get more home-cooked food to enjoy for the next few days, and we do not end up with food that would spoil.

• Tranquilizer for the partner: ‘nuf said. LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving! Check back tomorrow to see how we survived!

I so much agree with this cartoon that I “stole” from a friend who posted it on Facebook. Whatever happened to recognizing and sharing autumn holidays like Halloween and (U.S.) Thanksgiving?

Man, I’m really “old school.” I do not want to see Christmas displays in stores until the day after Thanksgiving… like it used to be, back in the “olden days” of my youth. I remember my very first job, working as a helper in a camera store after school when I was in high school. On the Friday after Thanksgiving, the store would open a couple hours later than usual to give the store employees time to install holiday displays in windows, put up a small artificial Christmas tree, and place signs around the store for holiday specials.

Not these days… stores are opening on “Black Friday” at midnight, and the stores have been decorated since late August. I hate it. I really do. I detest all the promotions and mass marketing for a retail Christmas. Sheesh… it’s all about the money, isn’t it? Blecch.

You won’t find me rushing out at midnight on Thanksgiving night/Friday morning to “get deals.” I completed my Christmas shopping back in July. Yeah, I admit — almost all of my shopping was done on-line, except for buying the greeting cards for seniors that I assemble in monthly organizers for some special pals on my list.

While stores are all out marketing for Christmas, my partner and I are preparing for our annual Thanksgiving pot-luck bash for seniors that we do every year. It’s so much fun, and time well-spent with terrific friends who we care for, and who care for us.

We have been organizing for that party now for about a month, and have received over 85 RSVPs, including some special high-level elected officials who will drop by and share cheer. Can’t wait — for Thanksgiving! Not Christmas (yet!)

Life is short: celebrate holidays at the right time, and avoid media mass merchandising.

Happy Halloween to my blog visitors. This is an odd American holiday, marked by story-telling, tales of ghosts and goblins, and children dressing in a costume and going door-to-door in the evening to collect candy by yelling “trick or treat!” (Either you give them a treat or they play a trick on you).

Many adults enjoy doing something for Halloween as well. Some dress up in costumes and attend parties, usually held the weekend before October 31. From the number of visitors to this blog, many are curious and interested in dressing as a cop.

This year, my partner being the usual recluse that he is, did not want to go to a party on the weekend. Two of my friends invited us to attend an adult party, but … nahhh… Partner didn’t want to go and be around people. He hates that. I did not go anywhere not only because my partner did not want to go, but I also cannot stay awake past 9pm. I’m the party-pooper in this case.

We were invited to a family get-together yesterday afternoon, where the kiddos were dressed in their Halloween costumes and us uncles (and aunts) brought candy. I went (my partner didn’t — again, noisy kids are not his choice). We were encouraged to wear a costume, too. I went as a “biker dude.” Simple enough to construct an authentic costume without going to a lot of trouble and expense. I was thinking about riding my Harley to get there, but was reminded that the mild storm that occurred on Saturday brought down a lot of leaves which remained wet (and slick) on the roads. I didn’t want to run the risk of riding on wet leaves, so I drove my truck.

Tonight, I will continue the theme, dressed as “biker”, when neighborhood kids come to our door and I distribute candy to them. Then we turn out the lights precisely at 9:00pm and go to bed. If kids can’t complete their rounds before 9pm, they’re probably up to no good anyway.

Happy Halloween!

Life is short: go with the flow.

I had a very busy day yesterday catching up after returning from a week-long business trip. I did a lot of work around my house, took care of six senior pals by doing various home repairs for them, took four senior pals to the grocery store, and returned home to do more home maintenance.

With all that going on, I had no time to write a blog post. Check back tomorrow for another story on …

Life is short: doin’ whatcha gotta do!

Have you seen the automated signatures on some people’s email, that says, “sent from my Blackberry handheld” or “send via my iPhone”? Oh please, gimme a break.

I once was forced to have a Blackberry in a previous job, and I know that those devices come with software that you can use to delete that canned signature line, so you do not have to tell everyone how important you are because you can send email via a wireless device.

I have modified my email signature to close with, “sent via my NoBerry for an i-nothing.” Seriously, I’m not that important.

I find that those who live where I live in Snoburbia, things like this — having a personal Blackberry or an iPhone, and using that standard signature — is de rigueur. However, most people who are above playing those status games and who are not out to impress others turn that automated signature off or delete it.

I find it amusing that adults play these games. Honestly, life is good out here in the quiet, disconnected Universe. Try it sometime… you’ll like it!

Life is short: have a NoBerry for an i-Nothing, and enjoy saving lots of money instead of paying the monthly ransom that makes rich companies richer.

When a guy reaches “a certain age,” that is, age 50, you begin hearing from the medical community about having a colorectal screening, including a prostate exam. I also should acknowledge a nudge to get this test from a cop whose blog I follow. He wore a kilt in his off-time during the whole month of September on a self-proclaimed, “Kilted to Kick Cancer” campaign.

I tell ‘ya, I am a real wuss when it comes to medical procedures. Like most guys, I avoid doctors unless I’m really sick or do something stupid like trip, fall, and break my leg.

Well, anyway, I finally “sucked it up” and made an appointment for a colorectal screening, which included the doctor having to stick a tube up my rectum and look around for signs of cancer and polyps in the rectum and lower part of my colon. Since I have a diagnosed chronic illness of the colon, which I have been enduring for many years, I wasn’t surprised when the doctor remarked that my colon looked different from most — his words, “like a truck has driven up and down your colon.”

He knows that I am gay, so he felt that he had to ask a follow-up question, which for purposes of this blog remaining “G-rated,” let me say that my answer was “no, my partner doesn’t do *that* and I never have had *that* happen.” (Sorry, fellas, but if you can’t figure out what *that* is, don’t worry about it.)

I have to admit, I requested and was provided a sedative before the exam. There is absolutely no way that I can take anything up my ass. Nope, can’t do it. I was also afraid, mostly because most doctors I have had treat me in the past have made me uncomfortable or caused pain and laughed, “it doesn’t hurt (much)”. Yeah, doc, it doesn’t hurt you, but you’re not the one getting something shoved up your ass.

Well, they’ve learned how to make these tests less painful and uncomfortable than in years past. I can honestly say that during the actual test, I didn’t feel much of anything, other than a mental aversion to knowing that someone was poking something up somewhere that I didn’t want to have anything poked.

After the exam, which only took a few minutes, and leaving some “samples” of urine and feces for lab testing, I was on my way. Fortunately, my partner took me so I didn’t have to drive. Remember — I’m a wuss. I was afraid that perhaps I couldn’t drive after the procedure. I really didn’t know what to expect, so I prepared for the worst.

I also have to admit that the worst part about it was that it was hard to walk normally for a couple days. I kinda swaggered like I had been riding a horse. Yeah, I was uncomfortable afterwards. It wasn’t painful, but it was hard to sit down and there was no way that I could ride my Harley and sit on the saddle of my bike. But that discomfort resolved in two days.

Good news is that the doctor found nothing (other than signs of my ongoing chronic illness, which is always under observation). The return of my “samples” indicated nothing bad, either. I’m okay.

I now have convinced my partner and three male friends “of a certain age” to get the screening, too. Heck, if I — a big wuss — can do it, anyone can. If you are a male, age 50 or older, go get a colorectal screening. It’s important.

Life is short: do what you need to do, even if you don’t want to do it.

Some people have commented from time to time about the size of my boot collection and the variety of leather gear that I have. I wear the boots and the leather regularly. I have been asked about the budget required to acquire the boots and gear.

First off, I should note that I have owned some pairs of boots for over 35 years. The boots and gear have been acquired over a long, long time. These items are not something that I went out and purchased entirely at one time.

I operate on one simple philosophy: I only buy what I can afford, and do not extend myself on credit. That’s right — I never carry a balance on a credit card.

How do I do it? I have a budget. Yep, a plain, old-fashioned plan for where my income will be allocated toward expenses.

The first person I pay with each paycheck is myself. I put 20% of my net income into savings. I divide the savings into 75% that I can’t touch until retirement, and 25% into my “rainy day” fund. I have figured out how much money I would need to live on to cover costs for my home, vehicles, food, utilities, and other regular expenses. I have 12 months-worth of savings in this “rainy-day” account that, if needed, I can use to cover a major, unplanned expense. That expense may be something like having to pay the deductible on my auto insurance in case I get into a wreck, up to and including losing my job. I have enough money saved that I could withstand — not to my liking mind you — losing my primary source of income by losing my job and still survive for at least 12 months without another paycheck. Not that I plan to get laid off or fired, but I have left jobs without another job lined up twice in my life, so I know what it’s like to have ongoing expenses without income, and still need to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.

I then allocate the remainder of my net income across expenses. My share of our home’s mortgage, utilities, and groceries. I include in my allocations the costs to own, maintain, and operate a cage (4-wheeled vehicle) and a Harley — not cheap! I also allocate a small amount toward what I call my “boot fund” which is really a small savings account that I tap into when I want to buy boots or leather gear or buy other things that I want — but do not “need.”

Some people have various amounts available after major expenses are paid. But even saving US$10/month can add up.

I also work pretty hard at preventing (or reducing) expenses that can suck my bank account dry in a hurry. I don’t, for example, pay for pay channels on television (such as HBO, etc.) I do not subscribe to a data plan for wireless services, so I do not pay the monthly ransom demanded by the wireless “providers” who charge such outrageous monthly fees. I walk at lunchtime and around my neighborhood — instead of paying for a gym membership. Since I do not carry a balance on credit cards, I do not have to pay what is essentially “debt service” — that is, paying someone else for your own money. Also, I pack a lunch that I bring to work and prepare our other meals at home, each and every day. Avoiding going out to eat except on rare occasions saves me about US$5,000 each year (I calculated that based on eating lunch out 4 days/week and dinner out 3 days/week, which is about average for my fellow residents here in Snoburbia, and offsetting that with the cost of buying more groceries instead).

You do not have to make it more complicated than it really is. Just employ the lessons that those who lived through The Great Depression learned, and taught me: save money for a rainy day and for your future; be a good steward of your money so you can pay your bills and not get upside down (that is, owe more than you take in); then, and only then, allocate funds toward purchase of “wants” vs. “needs.”

This is another reason why my partner and I are so closely synced — we think about finances exactly the same way. Some may call us “financially stable” while others may call us “cheap.” The thing is, we are able to cover our living expenses, reduce expenses that are financially draining, save for retirement and unplanned major expenses, and still have money left over to enjoy things — like our hobbies, interests, and activities. (One thing that many couples fight about is money. Thankfully, that has never been an issue with us!)

My philosophy on finances was best quoted by a dear friend in an email that I received yesterday: when there is something pricey you really want to do or someone you really want to help, the money is there. And when the economy tanks, you have the funds to ride the tide … comfortably.

It’s all about that “B-word.” Budget. Figure out how much it costs to live, see what you can eliminate from reviewing where you are spending your money and don’t really have to, and saving for a rainy day.

Life is short: live it well by budgeting.

Lately, I have had a few people contact me by various methods of electronic communication to say that they were coming to Washington, DC, and thought perhaps we could “meet up.” Actually, I have never met up or down or sideways, but that’s a different issue. (I tend to be picky about the proper use of English.)

Depending on the medium used to reach me, I respond differently.

If contact is made through a fetish site (where I have a BHD identity to maintain it as me and not allow someone else to use the screen name and cause confusion or misrepresentation)… I generally reply with a gentle but firm, “no thanks.” That’s especially true if the person’s screen name has these words in it: “bottom”, “boy”, “boi”, or “4you”. These names imply they want to be on the receiving end for sex. I am not interested in meeting “up” (or down, or sideways) with people who are looking for sex. I reply that I am in a monogamous relationship and I do not meet other men who have interests like that.

If someone writes to me through my website, which generates an email, or sends me an email message directly, then that’s different. I read the message for what it says. Something normal like, “I am coming to DC for a meeting, and I would like to meet you for dinner” is better than, “Hey, sexy, let’s meet up at The Eagle at midnight and see what happens.” Seriously, I have received messages like that on rare occasions. I am not a night owl, and I do not go out for such clandestine rendezvous.

However, the lunch or dinner option is a possibility, though probably not likely. I do not work or live in the city, and I avoid going into the city if I can. I am long over giving tours to visitors, thank you, and I do not enjoy social venues in the city. Getting into the city is a hassle, plus I really do not have the time. I work in the downtown of my Maryland suburban hometown and by the time I got on the subway to ride into the city to meet someone for lunch, it would be time to return again.

Further, my partner and I never go out to eat, so I prepare all of our evening meals at home. We prefer it that way for a number of reasons (I’m cheap and on a very restricted diet; he’s reclusive.)

I have also had some guys ask to come visit my home and have a tour of my boot collection. Sorry, I don’t do that, either. My partner and I do not have visitors in our home. It’s really all I can do to accommodate occasional visits from out-of-town family and my mother-in-law. My partner can’t stand having his routine thrown out of whack. We do not entertain other people. Not being drinkers of alcohol, we don’t have friends over for wine or cocktails. I know that not being interested in entertaining is quite the opposite from what most people expect of gay men, but so be it. My partner does not have any friends (at all, anywhere). While I have a lot of friends, I visit them elsewhere — usually on the saddle of my Harley.

I know this sounds strange, distant, and unsociable. It’s what I do to accommodate my ever-reclusive partner who can’t stand social-anything. That’s okay, he makes up for it in many other ways. I consider myself to be sociable and outgoing, but my partner is quite the opposite. I respect him and his wishes for privacy, and the sanctity of our home.

Thanks for your interest. A meet “up” (or down or sideways) probably won’t happen. Thanks, but please understand why I say “no.” It’s not you — it’s me and my respect for my antisocial but otherwise adorable and loving partner.

Life is short: make your limits clear.