Category Archives: fetishism

Leather: Where to Buy Custom Gear

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Since custom leather gear is the way to go, the best place to get it is from a store that specializes in crafting it, fitting it correctly, and having sources of good skins. These days, many of the good leather crafters have websites to help you in deciding what you want and can facilitate placing an order electronically. However, using the Internet to buy custom gear has its challenges too. Read on for more.

Here is the snippet from my “Leather 101” page on my website about this topic:

If you are nervous about going into a leather fetish store, don’t worry about it. These shops are in business to sell leather. I remember the first time I went into one of those stores (in San Francisco), my heart was beating a mile-a-minute. However, I soon got over my fear of the unknown. The staff were helpful and friendly, but not pushy. They don’t want to scare you off. The best places to go are fetish leather shops or motorcycle leather shops. Go to a store that specifically sells leather, preferably one that makes its own products on premises. Look around, see what catches your eye, then ask questions and let someone help you.

Do not go to a motorcycle retailer like a Harley-Davidson dealer. While the majority of Harley-Davidson’s income is from sales of its licensed products and leather goods (not from selling the motorcycles themselves), H-D labeled leathers are vastly overpriced just for the name. You can get custom leather gear at lower prices from fetish leather stores. Also, don’t go to stores in the mall that sell some leather goods. These stores sell off-the-rack stuff for the masses, and are more “fashion” oriented than having anything worthy of a true Leatherman.

Despite being tempted by lower prices, DON’T buy leather gear from websites that cater to straight bikers. Most of the gear found on these websites is almost “one-size fits all” and looks like it. The gear hangs funny on everyone except the handsome model in a tough-looking pose. Pants, chaps, and long-sleeves of leather shirts are often too long or too short, requiring alteration anyway, and the leather is from a country where quality is doubtful. This is particularly true about International Male, Jamin’ Leather, and LeatherUp.com. Believe me, I have purchased leather from each of these on-line retailers, and have been very disappointed each time. (Once, each; never again!)

Don’t buy fetish leather via eBay for your first foray into leather gear. Remember, items on eBay belonged to someone else. Leather gear stretches to accommodate the (former) wearer’s body. Just because you are a size 34 and the eBay posting says the leather pants are a size 34, it does not mean they will fit you. They could be larger just from natural stretching. They could be (and often are) baggy in the seat and thighs. The problem with eBay is that seldom can you return something if it doesn’t fit right. Leather gear needs to fit right, or it’s not worth the investment. I’m not saying that you should never buy from eBay. Just know that you may not get something that fits well and you are stuck with an “as is” sale. Also, used gear is used gear. Don’t pay more than half of what the item new would cost. It’s not worth it (provided you don’t have a fetish for some other guy’s used gear. If the smell of used gear gets you off, then forget this warning).

However, you say, “I live far away from a store that specializes in crafting and selling fetish leather.” (Or I’ve heard, “I don’t want my wife/parents to find out about my fetish interests.”) “Can I use the Internet?” Well, you can, with care and a thoughtful plan.

The rest of this section is written about buying new leather gear from a reputable fetish leather merchant via the web. I have some of the stores that I have visited and ordered from listed here on my website.

  • The first thing to do is to explore the merchant’s website to see what interests you. Write down stock numbers and better yet, print out pages of items that turn your crank.

  • Second, look for information on fitting, sizing, or measurements. Better fetish leather on-line retailers will provide a measurements form on their website. Print it out, or use mine. Have someone measure you and fill out all the blanks on the form — even for measurements you don’t think you may need right now. If you’re going through the measurements routine, get them all.

  • Third, find the store’s telephone number from the website. Most legitimate U.S.-based stores offer a toll-free number to call within the continental U.S. For others, it may be a long-distance call. Regardless, it is best to call the store on the phone to discuss your order. Note the store’s operating hours and convert for your local time so you call when they are open. You should begin by asking them if they craft their own gear or sell leather garments made overseas. If they sell gear made elsewhere and only do alterations, hang up and find another store.

  • Fetish leather retailers want to get it right the first time, and want you to be happy. Likely they have questions that are not asked on on-line order forms. Plus, you can discuss options that may be available for custom gear that don’t appear on a website. For example, do you want a zip fly instead of a snap fly? Do you want a zipper down the back of the butt of your leather jeans? Do you want contrasting colors on shirt pocket flaps and epaulets? The choices are endless, and the store will know what they can do and how long it will take to have it done. Plus, they can take credit card information from you while you are on the phone. That will protect the security of your card details.

  • If you just can not call the store on the phone, your alternative is e-mail. It may take several e-mail exchanges to ensure that the store understands what you want and gets it right. However, at a minimum, you may have to call them after placing an order to give a credit card number. Never, EVER, give credit card information via unsecure email. It’s okay to use a website that has security features to protect credit card information, but never via regular old email.

  • If you do not have a credit card (or one you can use), you can ask the store via e-mail if they will accept an alternate form of payment, such as a personal check, cashier’s check or money order. In this day and age, it is most common to use a credit card, but if you don’t have access to one, stores will take alternatives that assure they get paid. You will have to wait for a check to clear before they will begin work on what you ordered.

    • People have asked me what fetish leather stores I recommend. While there are some really good stores around, in the past few years I have settled on 665Leather of West Hollywood, California, and Northbound Leather of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Back in the day, I bought most of my custom leather gear from Mr. S. in San Francisco, and they still have good stuff, but it is very pricey. They also seem to be more interested in selling toys (that scare the bejeebers out of me!) than leather nowadays.

    Tomorrow: I begin my gear-item by gear-item description of what to look for. Check back!

    Leather: Going Custom

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    I have a lot of leather gear that I have acquired over the past 25 years or so. Like any other biker, I began to buy leather to use while riding my motorcycle. I bought my first leather gear items (chaps, jacket, and vest) off-the-rack. That was in the days before the Internet. I got these first items from a local motorcycle shop. None of that gear fit me all that well, but I didn’t know how to get a good fit, and the guys in the shop were not knowledgeable about fitting leather, either. The gear was sold in generic sizes of S-M-L-XL. That was that.

    My first custom gear was a pair of chaps from “The Leathermaker” of Los Angeles, California. I saw an ad that he ran in a magazine and the chaps looked really hot. They had outside zippers and a custom fitted closure. I wrote (a letter) to him and received a measuring form back with some more really hot photos. I asked a friend to measure me, and I sent off my payment with the order form all filled out. About a month later, the chaps arrived. Man, I was in heaven! The fit was perfect, the look outstanding, and the style was unique.

    This proved to me that going custom was what I needed to do. No more silly snaps on the bottom of the leg opening. No more zippers on the inside that would scratch the paint on my bike. No more adjustments like a belt buckle on the front closure.

    After that, I had my first business trip to San Francisco. I built up the courage to go into a fetish leather store and after I found out that the guys in there were only interested in selling leather and not (doing anything else to me), I had them measure me and retain all of my measurements, even if this time I was only ordering a custom long-sleeved leather shirt. A few months later, I had them make me a pair of leather pants, since they had my measurements.

    Man, I felt like I had arrived! I had my leather chaps, pants, and shirt, and felt more confident in myself as a person and no longer a leather novice. And I got noticed, too. Guys could tell that I had quality gear, so perhaps they thought that there might be a quality guy inside.

    Though I wasn’t really one to go out to bars (I just never was a late-night kinda guy), I met some really interesting guys for dates when I was out in full leather on my motorcycle. I had fun exploring leather and getting more gear through the years. In fact, walking with “the leather contingent” in the March on Washington in 1993 was when and where I met my partner. The rest is history — never dated another guy. Nowadays, I still wear my custom gear when I ride my Harley; around and in the community during fall, winter, and spring — just because I like how it feels and I’m way beyond caring what other people think; and when my partner and I have a little fun. It has a lot of uses!

    One word if you are just starting out: custom gear isn’t cheap, but because it will fit you right, you will be able to wear it for a long time. Consider it an investment. As such, if you are only going to wear leather once a year to a leather event, don’t bother with it. The once-a-year-in-leather dudes have that “deer-in-the-headlights” look and it’s obvious they are uncomfortable in it. In order to get a return on your investment, wear it often and proudly. I do.

    Here is today’s snippet from my Complete Guide to Leather Gear.

    Custom leathers are really the way to go. Not only will the leather fit you better, it looks better. You will not have unsightly snaps or zippers that are found on off-the-rack, cheaper leather goods, made to fit anyone of any size and height. Custom leather gear often is not much more expensive than off-the-rack, provided you are getting quality, top-grain leather. If you order the cheap stuff from the usual biker’s leather retailers, it will be obvious and gives a signal that perhaps you don’t want to give — that you’re cheap. Certain items like leather breeches or leather uniform shirts should always be custom made. Chaps should be custom, or at least altered to fit, else they will be baggy in the wrong places, too short, or too long.

    Here’s how to do measurements for custom gear. There is a form on my website to help you record what you need to know. At a minimum, have your waist, inseam, thighs, chest, neck, and length of arms measured. There are more measurements that may be needed, so check out that form!

    Have someone else do the measurements. Never measure yourself, because you just can’t get a tape correctly around yourself to get an accurate measurement, no matter how careful you think you can be.

    Ensure the tape is pulled ‘snugly’. Do not allow ‘extra’ in the measurements around the parts of your body, because inevitably the measurement will not be accurate. Also, leather stretches naturally, so if the leather is tight when you first get it, it will accommodate by stretching as it breaks in during regular wear. Do not assume that the size you wear for a pair of jeans is the same for a pair of leather jeans, or a shirt size is the same for a leather shirt. Generally those bluejeans or shirt sizes are not your actual measurements.

    Tomorrow: where to buy custom gear. Remember now, life is short: wear your boots and leather!

    Leather: Grades and Quality

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    Leather seems to be a mystery to some. This series of posts about leather gear is designed to demystify leather and encourage those who are curious to explore their interests. Today’s post is about leather itself: how to know quality from junk, how where it comes from makes a difference, and to help educate you about what to get so you know what you’re getting. All of this comes from my Complete Guide to Leather, which I just published on my website. I give credit to Mr. John Pendal (Mr. International Leather 2003) and GlovedCopSF for some of the content from material they have previously written and which I adapted for my guide to leather gear.

    • No two hides are the same. It may seem an obvious point, but all leather was once a living animal. Each hide is a different size and shape and has different flaws: scratches, blemishes, insect bites, etc. A good leather manufacturer will cut around these imperfections (or disguise them within the body of the product), but that increases manufacturing time and scrap (waste). “Clear” (unblemished) leather is much more expensive than leather that reveals some flaws. The question you should ask yourself is how badly the flaws show, and if the blemishes add character to the product or are unsightly eyesores.

    • Leather varies in thickness. Leather thickness is usually measured in ounces. One ounce equals 1/64 inch in thickness. Thus, a weight of 7 to 8 oz. means the leather is 7/64 to 8/64 inches in thickness or approximately 1/8 inch thick. The thickness of leather varies to some extent throughout the hide. This is why leathers are usually shown with a range of thickness such as 4 to 5 oz., or 6 to 7 oz. As a comparison, a quarter (coin) is equal to a 4 oz. thickness. A standard thickness for belts is a 7 to 8 oz leather.

    • One good indicator of the quality of a leather garment is thickness of the leather. Thicker leather provides more protection and durability. But it is also heavier, which is not always a preferred characteristic.

    • Several types of leather are used in crafting leather garments: cowhide, deer hide, boar hide, kangaroo, etc. Of these, cow hide is predominant. Cowhide is strong. It wears well. It is less expensive than other leathers. Considering its price and performance, this is perhaps the best material in existence.

    • A green (untanned) cowhide is thick so it is usually split into two layers before tanning. “Top leather” shows the grain of the outer skin, and it is the toughest of the two layers. The “split” layer is the bottom, fleshy side, and it tans with a smooth or suede finish. This “split” is tough in its own right, and being less expensive than top leather, it constitutes a very good per-dollar value. Its main drawback is its tendency to abrade, owing to its smooth surface.

    • Hides can come from all over the world: The price of hides varies greatly from one country to another. If your leather manufacturer cares how the animals were treated or which chemicals were used in the tanning process, they are likely to choose hides that come with some welfare and quality guarantees, which increases the price.

    • Hides stretch by different amounts: The neck end of the hide stretches more than the rear – so a good manufacturer will make sure that they lay the pattern symmetrically over the hide. Trouser legs and the backs of shirts could be cut from the back end of the hide where they will stretch less, and cuffs and collars from the neck end. However, this also creates more scrap (waste) which increases the price.

    • Tanning process: The average thickness of a tanned cowhide is 5mm. This is too thick for most uses, so the hide is divided into a “grained” hide and one or two “splits”. The splits are put through rollers to emboss a fake grain on them, but are lower quality and so are usually used for furniture and car upholstery. If the “grained” hide has excessive scarring or marks it might be buffed smooth and embossed with a fake grain. This will allow the whole hide to be used for clothing, but should also lower the price. Look closely at the leather you are about to buy. If you can see tiny hair holes the leather has probably been aniline tanned and is a “grained” hide. This is the highest quality leather you can buy. If you can’t see any hair holes the hide might be a “split”, or have been buffed smooth or had a pigment coating. These kinds of leather are often shinier and less able to absorb oil-based leather care products. This is not necessarily a bad thing: one of the qualities of aniline tanned leather is that the dye can rub off, especially next to hot and sweaty skin, so even top quality leather manufacturers may use chrome tanned leather to make jockstraps, for instance.

    • Check the finishing touches: There are steps a leather artisan would take to finish a product that are easily skipped to save money. For example, when thick leather is cut for a belt or sling, a craftsman might bevel the edges of the leather and then polish the cut edge with a piece of bone to prolong the life of the product. Sometimes you will see edges that look as if they’ve been cut with no further work done.

    Tomorrow: why custom leather gear is the way to go if you’re serious about leather.

    Leather in August?

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    The title of this post brings back memories from a long time ago, when I bought a certain type of magazine for the first time. The full title was: Leather in August? No Sweat!

    Well, I can’t say the same is true for me. Leather is great, don’t get me wrong. But when it is hot and humid outside, leather just isn’t something I can wear for more than posing for a few pics to update my website. (For example, I took a few pics yesterday of me in my full leather dress shirt and tie.) I will return to wearing leather gear more often once the weather cools off in October. For now, I limit myself to my biker vest. But I always wear boots, regardless.

    For the next several blog posts, I will discuss several aspects of leather garments and life as a Leatherman. Leather is no big mystery, but there is an analogy: gay guys in leather to gay guys who ride on Pride floats are like bike cops to regular cops.

    It’s funny, but many bike cops have told me that they scare (quite unintentionally) other cops. Same is true for gay guys into leather: the gay guys who aren’t into leather sometimes feel afraid. Yeah, that big bad Leatherman is gonna get you! (LOL!)

    If you can not wait for this series of blog posts about leather to appear over the next few days/weeks, then just visit a new in-depth “Leather 101” Guide to Leather Gear on my website.

    Meanwhile: BOO! (Just kiddin’) Have a great weekend!

    Identification with Gay Subcultures

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    I received an interesting email message from a guy who runs a “bear” website in Brazil. He asked me why I didn’t show the “bear flag” on my website because, to him, I am a bear.

    I initially replied saying that I did not really identify with any particular gay subculture. I am a guy who happens to identify with loving my one and only man, and that I find men, in general, much more interesting than women (when it comes to sexuality). I also identify with being a community activist and leader, with serving people with skills and knowledge that I have learned, with helping other people by doing odd-jobs and simple things like grocery shopping for elderly folks, with motorcycling, with geeks in website building, and so on. I have many thing with which I identify. Must I identify with one more than another? Nope.

    I looked up information about “bears” and found a Wikipedia article from which I quote:

    Bears tend to have hairy bodies and facial hair; some are heavy-set; and some project an image of working-class masculinity in their grooming and appearance. Some bears place importance on presenting a hyper-masculine image; some may shun interaction with men who display effeminate style and mannerisms. There is, anecdotally, more acceptance of tattoos and body piercing in the bear community, although this acceptance varies from member to member.

    Well, I share some of those characteristics, but not all. I am not thin and hairless. I don’t shave what body hair I have, but because of my Native American blood, I could not grow a beard if I tried. I am a masculine man, but don’t consider myself “hyper-masculine.” For example, if guys are talking about a football game, I usually zone out because I don’t care for sports. I do not shun interaction with anyone, though I find gay men who act “queeny” to be difficult to be around because of their demand for attention, and dramatic attitudes and behaviors that are often displayed (and usually cause straight people to develop and affirm inappropriate stereotypes about gay people). Finally, I hate needles and thus never will have any tattoos. I find body piercings to be repulsive, as well. It just hurts to see someone with a ring through his…(insert name of body part here).

    Similarly, I share some, but not all, characteristics of what is deemed to be a “leatherman.” Many men who enjoy leather also engage in BDSM. I blogged about this before. Suffice it to say, not only do I not engage in BDSM, I find it repulsive because of its reminders of human torture which I have, in a past job, attempted to rescue people from. (This is my own personal opinion and not reflective on any individual anywhere.)

    I also share some characteristics of “cowboy,” but haven’t ridden a horse in a long time and probably won’t again. I like the masculinity of a cowboy, his down-to-earth style, practical attitudes, and work ethic. I have and wear a lot of cowboy boots, but that doesn’t make me a cowboy. I have the boots, though, because I can wear them to work with dress clothes, and they look and feel good on my feet. I work hard, but not out on the range. My limit to physical labor is work to keep our house in shape, and remodeling homes for the rental to important working folks like cops, firefighters, and teachers.

    So what gay subculture “am” I? None, really. I am just a guy who likes boots, wears leather, rides a motorcycle, has a moustache and chest hair, and likes other guys. That’s it. Nothin’ more, nothin’ less. Don’t try to put me into a box; I am just an “outta the box” kinda guy.

    Being an Out and Open Leatherman

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    Yep, I enjoy leather. I always have, since I got my first motorcycle while in college. Being a biker is a fairly easy “excuse” to wear leather and tall boots. But that’s only for public impression, for those who don’t really comprehend an interest in leather.

    As I’ve blogged before, my interest in boots and leather is an avocation — a hobby — and something that is pleasurable. It’s comfortable, durable, and forgiving for my body type. I wear leather almost every day, in public, and as readers of this blog are aware, display my gear on my website.

    Being so out and open in my community and as a minor public figure is not a problem. That’s because my community has a casual and mature kind of tolerance. But being out and open on the Internet has occasional consequences that have to be dealt with. For example, some guys who visit my website but don’t read the FAQs perceive that I may want to “play” with them, a code word for having sex. Or that I might want them to visit to do things with or on my boots. A few have sent me email messages suggesting we get together.

    That’s a consequence I accept for being so “out there.” Actually, in a way such a come-on is somewhat flattering to me as an older, greying, bearish man. I am quite able to respond by saying, “thank you, but no thanks.” There hasn’t been a one who has failed yet to understand the second line that I write, “I am in a monogamous relationship with my life partner, and we don’t play with others.” A few may think this sounds harsh, but it is just a description of my reality and my life. My partner is my one-and-only, and I never have nor will do anything to cause him to question my integrity and commitment to him, and to “us.”

    Life is short: wear your leather and your boots, and enjoy life!

    Why We Are Not Going to IML

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    Time is rolling around again for the International Mr. Leather Contest (IML) to be held in Chicago. It’s always held over Memorial Day weekend.

    My partner and I had talked about it for years, and finally went for the first — and last — time in 2007.

    Why do I say, “and last”? Well, events like this are really for younger, single men who enjoy staying up late for socializing. I’ve never been a night-person my whole life. Even with a “disco nap,” I find myself still dragging after about 10pm, and most things don’t really get going until midnight and last long after that.

    Further, while it’s interesting to see so many men in leather in one place, the crowds are sometimes overwhelming, such as at the bars. Not having our own transportation, getting to the bars that are friendly to leather folk in Chicago had to be by bus.

    Plus, it’s just darned expensive. Airfare, hotel for four nights, eating out, and even a soft drink at the bar … it all adds up. They stretch out IML two days longer than Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) and it just makes it more expensive to stay for the duration of the event. (Many guys don’t).

    I also have to say that being in a monogamous relationship makes a big difference, too. Most of the guys who attend IML are there for sex with other guys. We weren’t. We had great sex with each other while we were there, but we have that regularly at home. Location doesn’t matter — to us.

    So, as I said, “been there, done that, got the T-shirt and the boots shined.” We made the best of it last year, but won’t be returning.

    If you like, check out the photos that I took at IML 2007 and posted on my website.

    Influence of "CHiPs"

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    I have to admit, when I was in my teens and Jon and Ponch on the television show “CHiPs” were riding around on their police Kawasaki motorcycles in their CHP uniforms and Dehner Boots, I was mesmerized. I just loved watching that show, and especially when the boots were featured. Tall, black, shiny cop boots caught my attention. Long before videotape recording was an option, I would watch very closely so I wouldn’t miss the boots in action, especially those shots with the camera behind the boot while Jon was chasing a bad guy.

    When I got older and less intimidated by the leather/uniform crowd, I bought my very own CHP replica uniform, without the gun or baton, since they’re not legal where I live (plus, I’m not into guns whatsoever.)

    I have worn this uniform a lot, even just around the house, or chasing my partner (that’s always fun), and out while riding my Harley (covering up the patches on the shirt with a biker jacket.)

    I just love the look, the feel, and the power of the boots, uniform, and confidence it brings to me. I have since learned that Dehner boots of today are not nearly the quality they once were — stock boots are made of crappy plastic stuff called Dehcord that cracks and doesn’t hold up to even regular wear. But still nothing compares with the feeling of those boots tight on the legs, and the comfort of the uniform.

    An Avocation

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    I’d like to thank an exceptionally intelligent friend and who has a superb grasp of the English language who shared his insights with me about my blog post about my interest in boots and leather being a fetish or not.

    What he said, which is an accurate statement, is that my interest in boots and leather is an avocation, which is defined as, “An activity taken up in addition to one’s regular work or profession, usually for enjoyment; a hobby.”

    That’s spot on: I get into my “boot and leather thing” by building my website, participating on-line, and communicating about boots and leather purely as a personal interest, beyond my profession. My profession is in an entirely different field, for which I have won international recognition.

    Further, my astute friend pointed out that the term “fetish” is further defined as an irrational obsession. You can split hairs, but I know when to spend time with my interest in boots, and when to do other things. Boots don’t obsess me, though perhaps I do devote more time to this hobby than perhaps other things. But my interest isn’t irrational. For example, I wear the boots and leather I have regularly; not just “have it” to have it. I don’t go into debt about it; and I don’t toss aside responsibilities to my partner, my family, my friends, nor my community. Therefore, I don’t think my avocation represents being irrational.

    My friend concluded by saying that most people are too lazy to look up a real meaning of a word, and use the word “fetish” with reckless abandon. He went on to say that some may label me with that word because they don’t bother to understand what it means. And that’s the trouble with many folks these days, they just repeat what they hear without really knowing the meaning of what they are saying.

    I’d like to thank my smart, well educated friend for his enlightenment. I’m blessed to have people like him in my life, which make my life so much richer.

    Fetish or not a Fetish?

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    For the third time in as many days, I’ve had people write or comment on some things I have posted or written elsewhere on the Internet saying that I must have a “boot fetish” and/or a “leather fetish.”

    According to Wikipedia, Fetishism means a sexual admiration of an inanimate object.

    Well, I certainly like boots, and I enjoy my leather. Do I find boots and leather sexually attractive? No. Do I find a man wearing boots and leather sexually attractive? Maybe — it depends on the man wearing them. Sure, I may say that a guy who looks good in boots and leather is “hot,” but to me that’s just the same thing as a straight man saying that a bikini-clad woman is beautiful. Does the straight man in this example have a bikini fetish? No more so than I have a boot or leather fetish (in my own opinion.)

    Do I find my partner sexually attractive? Always. And when he is in boots and leather, it just adds to the enjoyment of the experience. But he is attractive to me for his mind and his integrity, honesty, and thoughtfulness, much more so than what he wears (or doesn’t wear, as the case may be.)

    Some insist that I must have a boot and leather fetish because I have “so much” of it (124 pairs of cowboy and motorcycle boots is a lot, I admit). But I really do wear them for the reasons they’re made: as footwear. Not sexual wear. As for leather? Yeah, again, I have a fair amount of leather garments, which I wear when I ride my motorcycle, for warmth, around the house, and also when I enjoy more intimate relationships with my partner. To me, it’s not that I am IN leather that gets me aroused. It’s just fun to have fun with my partner when we’re both in leather. I get well aroused with him without leather just as easily (and often.)

    So I disagree with those who claim that I have a “boot fetish,” “leather fetish,” or whatever. I wear boots because they are practical for what I do and where I go, I like how they look, and I like how they feel. I wear leather for the same reasons, as well as for warmth and protection when I ride my motorcycle.

    Also see my related follow-up blog post titled “An Avocation” for additional information.