Is the Alpha-Male a Real Person?

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This is another guest blog post from a friend whose experience and background is similar to my own. The photos of the boots shown in the post below are from my friend’s collection.

By: the Only Booted Man in Town

In a previous guest blog, I talked about why I wear cowboy boots in a US state where doing so is an oddity. Not unheard of; just a rare occurrence. Here I delve into the correlation between boot-wearing and that scary thing called Masculinity.

Let me talk about my own personal story a bit before I jump into generalities. I grew up in a stable home. No dysfunction, or no more dysfunction than is found in typical families. I had a happy childhood. But I was a loner for the most part. I did have friends, but a lot of times, when I got a good friend they moved away. Or they started playing with other kids. I was bullied in elementary school (sound familiar?) because I wasn’t that typical boy and didn’t do typical boy things, and wasn’t good at sports. Picked last on the team, beamed by the ball at dodgeball — you name it, it happened to me. I was a crybaby — don’t know why I did, but the waterworks opened uncontrollably without warning and oftentimes for no great reason. And the things I where I excelled were things that weren’t manly back in the 1970s, like cooking and baking.

I longed to be a guy and to be good at guy things.

As the years went by, I did find my niche among other kids. I stopped dressing like a nerd and had friends. We weren’t the most popular kids at school, but I held my own and didn’t get picked on any more except by one or two bozos. I learned to play the bagpipes in my 20s, and bonded with a pretty wild bunch of guys — it takes a lot of balls to wear a kilt in public, and don’t mess with a group of rowdy pipers. We carry knives. I learned to weave and work with textiles — and felt guilty that those things that I liked to do weren’t manly enough. It took years before I realized that weaving is okay, and that most professional weavers were men.

I turned out okay. I got married and have two sons. I teach cooking classes at a living history museum where I work. Those classes, filled to capacity, are for boys only. I still can’t ride a bike or throw a baseball. But I am starting to realize that that is okay too. Yet, still, there is that part of me still searching for a masculine identity that escaped me as a child. And I don’t want my kids to go through what I went through.

How do boots reflect my struggle with Masculinity? When I was younger, I fell in love with boots because of their rough manliness. I remember finding a pair of my dad’s rubber boots in the basement one day when I was about 5 and putting them on, and suddenly feeling more manly. I have talked about getting my first pair of cowboy boots in a previous guest blog. When I put them on, I felt more manly too.

And now I wear cowboy boots all the time. I admit that I wear them in part because they make me feel manly and powerful. Like a cowboy. Silly, well, yes, but so be it. But I have come to realize that it is okay to wear boots because they make me feel good. It took a lot of inner struggle to come to this realization. The questions kept popping up in my head: am I being TOO male? Don’t only gay guys wear boots? And if a guy looks at my boots in “that way,” won’t it bother me? All those questions come up in my mind from time to time. The answer is no, gentle reader, to all of the above.

Maybe this whole tale hits a nerve with some of you. Maybe not. But I think we all try as men to be the best men that we can be, regardless of sexuality or whatever. We all struggle with that ideal picture of the great testoterone-filled Alpha Male that we wish we were. Society’s latest penchant for male-bashing doesn’t help, either.

As I get older, I realize that I am who I am, and will be who I will be. I have started to understand that that testosterone-laden, cigar-chomping, booted leather-clad Alpha Male never was a real person, and only serves to cause us problems when we pretend he IS real.

It isn’t bad to wear boots or leather or whatever if it makes you more in touch with Masculinity. But don’t let that dreamed-up image overcome reality.

So, we press on.

Be who you are, and be proud of who you are.

Something to ponder in your own struggles in this thing called life…

Note from BHD: thanks again to my friend for sharing great insights and sharing some more photos of his great boot collection. Return to this blog tomorrow for my thoughts on this matter.

Dress of the Day

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Being the self-assured, confident, “leatherdude” that I am, I thought I’d show my loyal blog readers what my “dress of the day” was on Tuesday. Here I am, in my long-sleeved leather shirt, biker vest, side-laced leather jeans, and a pair of Wesco boots. Okay, for this photo, I’m wearing a Muir Cap and shades, but didn’t have the cap or sunglasses on as I went about my day.

The day? Began early at the usual 4am time by getting up to bake not one but two birthday cakes for two senior pals. While the cakes were baking, I prepared lunch for my partner and saw him off to work. I began my work day by answering email for about an hour. When the cakes were done, cooled, and iced, I drove over to my pals’ homes at 7am. (No, I wasn’t on my Harley — it was raining!) These pals are early risers, so I appeared at each of their doors, singing a song and giving each one her cake. Warm smiles and hugs started my day off right!

I returned home and got to work. I work from home most days. I left to go to lunch with a colleague and discuss some pressing issues. Again, I drove my truck because it was still raining. But there I was, in full leather. No.big.deal. (Ball cap, though, not a Muir. I did take a step back from the “full leatherman” depiction).

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home to get some things that we needed at home, plus a few items for a neighbor. I dropped off the neighbor’s groceries and she invited me in for some cookies (she called it “coffee” but she knows that I don’t drink the stuff, so I restrained myself, ate one cookie, and had some water.) Then I went back home because my work day was not over by a long-shot!

I worked and worked some more. Many telephone calls and emails and writing and reviewing and such. Keeps me hopping.

My partner came home, and I prepared our dinner, as usual. I always prepare a home-cooked meal. This time it was home-made ravioli, salad, and a sliver of cake. Milk for me, juice for my partner. (We don’t drink wine or alcohol.)

After dinner, I attended a meeting at a county office building. No change in clothing (or even boots for that matter; these Wescos are comfy.) Ball cap again.

Came home, chatted with my partner about the shenanigans that went on at the meeting. I am sooooo glad I’m not chairing those sessions any more. It’s nice to be the “emeritus” past President and not have to negotiate the results. My mentee who was elected last year to my former position did splendidly, and has a lot more patience than I do.

Off to bed by 9, as usual. That’s when I finally pulled off the boots, carefully hung up the leather, and crawled into bed to snuggle with my hunk, and slept soundly.

I went into all of these details to describe that I really do wear leather regularly, in public, and not only when I ride my Harley. No.big.deal. My Harley can be used as a side-story for why I have the gear, but the leather-wearing for me is commonplace, comfortable, and appropriate for the coolish, wet weather we have been having lately.

If you wondered — nope, nobody said a thing about the leather. Not at my senior pals’ homes, not at lunch, not at the grocery store, not at the neighbor’s, not at the meeting. There were people in all these places who do not know me, yet none said a thing. If you think someone might make a snide remark, think again. It really doesn’t happen and the concern is more in your mind than anywhere else.

Life is short: get over your hang-ups about wearing leather in public and get a return on your investment! Wear it!

Leather Pants: Inside or Outside Boots

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Search engines drive interesting results to this blog and to my website.  Recently, someone from Sacramento, California, searched a question, “Do leather pants go inside the boots or on the outside?”

Answer:  yes.

I am not being flip.  Well, yes I am but let me explain.

The choice to wear leather pants inside or outside boots depends on two things:

1. The look that you want to have.
2. The thickness of the leather.

I’ll tackle this in reverse, because ultimately whether it is possible to wear leather pants (jeans, breeches) inside tall boots depends a great deal on the thickness of the leather from which the garment is made.

If you have very thick leather pants, then stuffing all that leather inside tall boots will likely cause it to bulge or bunch up at the knees and look dorky. You just can’t get it all in there. The calf circumference of the boots you choose to wear (sometimes called “calf width”) has a lot to do with that, too. If the boots fit you tightly, there will not be enough room for leather, particularly thick leather, to fit over your lower leg and allow you to pull the boots on so you end up with a smooth appearance of where the leather pants fit into the boots.

Ultimately, that’s what you want: smooth, clean lines of leather meeting leather. This is what I referred to above by “the look that you want to have.”

Wearing leather isn’t rocket science. If the pants fit into boots smoothly, and that is the look that you are going for, then wear them that way.

Leather pants made as breeches are specifically made to be worn inside tall boots. Breeches become more narrow at the ankle, and usually have a closure like a zipper to fit them closely at the ankle. The tapering leather and closing holds the breeches down inside boots.

If you have leather pants or jeans with a regular opening at the bottom (that is, about 16-1/2″ to 17″ around), and if you want to wear them inside tall boots, then you have to wrap the leather at the bottom of the leg carefully around the ankle. Most guys pull socks up over the leather at the ankles to hold it wrapped there. Essentially, a sock wrapped around the leather serves a similar purpose as tapered legs with zipper closures — it forms a way to hold the leather down smoothly so boots fit over the legs neatly.

If, however, the leather pants are long (that is, come down to your foot) and the leather is thick, you probably can’t do that. You end up with a 1″ to 3″ mass of leather bunched up at the ankle. When you pull boots on, the extra leather presses against the foot, and may cause some pain.

A trick that I learned when I want to wear tall boots over leather pants is to pull the pants on, but leave them open at the waist while wrapping the leather at the ankle, pulling the sock over it, and smoothing it out. Then I will pull on my boots, stand up, and then pull up my pants, tuck in my shirt, close the fly, button or snap the pants at the waist, put on and close my belt.

I know this is not the usual way that men pull on their pants — they put them on, close them up and tighten the belt, then they put on their boots. However, if you do it the way that I described, when you pull your pants up after pulling your boots on, the leather will smooth out at the knee and won’t bunch up. The result is a cleaner, smoother appearance, which is ultimately what you want.

Now, to explore the searched question further: DO leather pants go inside or outside boots, with my answer being, “yes,” not only does it matter what kind of leather pants you have and how thick the leather is, but it also depends on your confidence and self-perception. If you are afraid of what other people may say, call you “gay” or make jokes like, “playing cop today, are ya?” — then you either need to develop more confidence and be prepared to respond to comments like that with a well-rehearsed reply, like: “yeah, aren’t the pants and boots cool?” or “I like how they look” or “you know I’m not a cop, but I like the appearance” and just chill out.

If however, you are unable to develop that confidence level or are truly afraid of what other people may say, then put the leather and boots away, and reduce yourself to wearing jeans and sneakers and call it a day (but by all means, do not ride a motorcycle in sneakers!)

Life is short: wear leather!

Back to My Blog

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I have enjoyed having guests post things on this blog for the past several days.  I expected three of them, and the one from my local Community Hero was not expected, but appreciated.

Now, back to my blog. Content: hmmm, what to blog about.

Things on the gay scene are typical and moribundly boring. Same old stuff with no new news to reflect on. (At least from this monogamously-partnered gay guy’s vantage point.)

Things on the “amusing google searches” still show up. I have captured a few which I will blog about in the future. It amazes me that the more technologically-advanced toys that people use (a lot of Android processors showing up), how absolutely awful their spelling and grammar is. It’s not just short-hand text-speak. It’s fundamental stuff like not knowing the difference between “wear” and “where” and things of that nature. I fear that the more texters use their gadgets, the grammar and spelling of our language continues to go into the toilet.

Nota bene: I was forwarded a resume to review by a colleague as we were looking for short-term professional technical help on a project. The resume was one page, and had 38 spelling, grammar, and other major gaffs in it. 38 of them! My colleague and I both decided to pitch the resume in the electronic trash. If the person can’t write, he should at least have had someone proofread his resume before submitting it. Embarrassing!

I sat in on two interviews last week, observing and taking notes. One person actually answered his cell phone during the interview to take a personal call. Another kept fidgeting. We realized that she was texting under the table. Needless to say, these characters didn’t make the final cut.

As far as boot-oriented matters are concerned: I remain happily booted. The weather is warming, so I am changing boots more often, several times each day. When I hop on my Harley, I wear boots with solid tread, not smooth leather soles. I had to dress up for those interviews last week, so I wore good-looking, polished cowboy boots. Over the weekend, my partner and I did a lot of work on our house, including building a memory garden in honor of my aunt who passed away. I wore Timberland work boots and my newly-acquired Air Force tactical boots for that.

Which reminds me of a sorry web posting that I saw over the last weekend. Some guy wrote on a public board to ask if Timberland boots were acceptable for “white guys” to wear. He continued with his statement that it appeared to him that only black guys wore “Timbs.” Oh, gimme a break. Timberland boots are work boots. Work boots like for doing labor — construction, etc. I like my Timberland boots because they are comfortable and durable, and I don’t care if they get dirty or messed up with garden mud. So be it — that’s what they’re for!

One thing, though: my partner preferred that I wore my AF tactical boots instead of the Timberland boots because the AF boots have waffle soles, so mud and dirt don’t get caked up in the lugs, they way it does on Timberland boots. After a hard day’s back-breaking labor in digging that garden last Saturday, my Timberland boots had quite a bit of mud stuck in the soles. I had to hose them off with a jet stream, and even then, not all the dirt came out. So now I have created some outdoor boot storage just for gardening boots. Hell to pay if I wore those boots in the house and dropped dirt clods everywhere. (And my partner has a right to get upset when that happens, because he works hard at keeping the floors and carpets clean.)

On the leather front: yeah, I got a new leather shirt. It’s really cool-looking. I bought it on sale while I was in San Francisco a few weeks ago. I’ll describe it and show it to you in a future post on this blog.

Not much new news. I remain very busy with work, which is both fun and consuming. My partner remains busy planning our Spring gardening chores, which I vow to make as enjoyable as I can. This is something that my partner loves to do, and is a hobby that we both can share.

Oh, one thing: my twin brother chided me to “chill” on a recent post on this blog. Okay, bro’. I did. I took a few hours off on Sunday afternoon, cuddled up next to my partner, and we watched a streaming video full-length “tear-jerker” movie. Usually I am the one to break into tears over the littlest things in movies, but I caught my partner drying his eyes when it ended, as well.

Life is short: keep busy, and keep blogging!

Chill!

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Guest blog post by BHD’s twin brother, J

Okay, bro, I’m joining in, too, and then we will let you take your blog back tomorrow. (giggle.)

You say “life is short” then give a little quip about what the particular posts means. To me, life is short and you show us how to live. How to really live. Your exuberance is exhausting, man! I don’t know how anyone can do all the things that you do and still get 8 hours of sleep each night, take care of your partner, your senior friends, your home, and still appear at a public hearing now and again… board meetings, community events, and so forth and so on.

Embracing life is a wonder, and I wonder each day about it. I wake each morning and ask, “what would my brother do?” … then add three more things on my “to-do” list! (Smile.) Seriously, you have taught me how to make priorities to engage in things that I might not have done otherwise — outside of work, of course!

Meanwhile, I have one strong recommendation for you: Chill! Go sit out in your backyard park with your partner, lie on the hammock, and just chill.

You were telling me the other day that you have picked up two more seniors in your cadre to care for. It’s not the same as taking care of our beloved aunt, and I know you are trying to fill the hole left after her death. But you need to take care of you. Go ride your Harley, take a walk with your partner, read a book. But not all at once as you are wont to do! Chill!

Meanwhile, I’ll embrace your joy and how you love to live, and share it with us.

Loving you from afar, ore e sempre. J.

Fire Guy Responds

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Not to be left out, my local Community Hero has written the following piece as a guest blog for me. Thanks, buddy. I value and appreciate your contributions to our community and its safety, and our long and enduring friendship.

———————–
Call me “Fire Guy.” I work in the Fire Department that serves the county where BHD lives. I’ve known BHD for a long time. We have worked together on a lot of community projects over the years — mostly on senior citizen home safety projects.

He calls me his “Community Hero.” Actually, BHD is MY Community Hero. This is what he has done for us:

1) He speaks up and attends a lot of public hearings when issues related to our Department are on the block. He continues to communicate behind the scenes with elected leaders in our county, never letting them forget what he (and our Department) consider to be important.

2) He advocates for legislation that helps residents of our County be safe — from home fire sprinkler systems (like he has in his home) to fire drills in businesses to safety checks for kids’ car seats — he’s always someone we can rely on to keep the focus on these important matters. I’m not allowed to “lobby,” but since BHD knows all these people from his long service in our County, it’s nothing for him to pick up the phone and get these people on the line, and passionately articulate the finer details so we get the support we need. I haven’t seen anyone who serves purely as a caring citizen-volunteer do that better.

3) He voluntarily leads a “home fix-up for safety” effort twice a year. Over the past 12 years, his work has led to over 1,100 homes of seniors have improvements installed so they can live there more safely. He gets donations to provide better lighting, new smoke alarms, CO detectors, non-slip mats for the bath, grab-bars, and similar things for people. He has raised over $90,000 in donations to support this work, which is an amazing feat. (He claims he’s not a fundraiser. Ha!)

BHD calls me his “community hero” because I go around and give fire safety talks, work with local fire departments to train them on how to do fire safety education with kids and the community, and keep our Facebook and Twitter feeds up-to-date with relevant information. He frequently comments on my Facebook posts to strengthen our Department’s message.

To me, he’s the true hero. He does this because, as he says, the paybacks are two things: knowing seniors and the community are more safe, and also for the smiles. He says that a smile is worth more than anything he could be paid in dollars.

I have read his blog and the posts over the last few days, and asked him if I could join in. So here I am, paying tribute to my Community Hero. Thanks for all you do!

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Closing note from BHD: I did not edit what is written above, though I wanted to take out some of the superlatives. Honestly, I am not all that. I am honored to work closely with a man who does so much in service for our county and our community. I think we make a great team. Thanks again, my friend. See you soon!

Bloggetory Commentary

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Some people have commented to me, privately by email, that they noticed that I had two guest blog posts from straight men in a row on this blog, owned and (mostly) written by a gay guy.

My point all along has been that I am really no different from anyone else, gay or straight. I am a man who cares for his partner, family, and community; works hard in a professional position and enjoys his work; likes to ride his Harley and regrets not having enough time to ride as much as he would like; wears leather garments that he has invested in over the years; and likes boots (and has a rather large collection.) Some guys collect stamps. I collect (and wear) boots.

I most sincerely appreciate the guest blog posts that I have received and posted on behalf of two men with whom I have communicated about boots, about motorcycling, about life, and about similar interests. I have also posted dozens of blog entries from my (straight) twin brother, as well as several guest posts from some other straight guys, here, here, here, and here. And not to leave anyone out, collaborated on a post with a gay man, here, and posted one from a gay cop, here. Just goes to show two things: 1) I look forward to receiving and posting guest blog features that relate to themes of this blog (boots, leather, gay/straight relationships, motorcycling, caring for others). Also 2) gay guys and straight guys aren’t that different — the only major difference is the sex of the partner we have. No.big.deal.

If you haven’t read the comments on these recent blog posts, you should. The comments commend this blog for not going into the gutter with porn-type writing, images, and such. I keep this blog G-rated for a reason. It is a public blog. If you want that kind of stuff, you know where to find it. The internet is full of it.

What my partner and I do behind closed doors is our business — sorta like what my siblings do with their opposite-sex spouses is their business, respectively. We are adults in monogamous relationships. That’s it; ‘nuf said.

We all can get along just fine in this world where we have common ground. We really aren’t all that different, but it IS the differences that we each have that makes life interesting. Gosh, life would be awfully boring if we were all the same.

Life is short: enjoy solid relationships with good people. Sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with it.

A Motor Officer’s Story

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This is a guest blog post by a motorcycle police officer who works in a county sheriff’s office in a U.S. southern state. He wrote to me two years ago to ask some questions, and then noticed my “writer’s block” post a few days ago, and wrote to me again. He contributed the following post to appear on this blog.

—————–
My name is … well … it doesn’t matter. Call me Officer X. I have been serving the citizens of my community for ten years, and have been riding a motor for the past seven. It’s not easy work. Lots of hostility sometimes when I write a cite, but as an officer whose blog both BHD and I follow says, “if you got stopped, you deserve it.”

I found BHD’s website when I was searching for information on why my Dehner boots hurt my ankles when I wore them. I discovered — after the fact, of course — that Dehner boots need to be broken in manually by bending them at the ankle to get a straight crease BEFORE putting them on. I found that out on BHD’s website and his blog.

I asked him some questions a few years ago, and appreciated the informative and cordial response. I haven’t written to him since … until the other day … but have been following his blog since I found it.

I have a wife, three kids, a dog, and another child on the way. It’s fun being a father. It is also interesting to serve as a motor officer. But you can find out about that in other places on the web, on blogs, and such. What I’m saying is that I am a straight guy; yet, I find BHD’s blog informative, interesting, eye-opening sometimes, and helps me understand what a life is like being a gay man in a straight environment. There were a lot of things that I wasn’t aware of. I think his blog has helped me serve the citizens where I live, gay or straight.

BHD asked me to answer some questions. Here goes:

1. What do you think about the boots and uniform?

I like to wear a uniform. Sharp, clean, pressed, with shined boots. Comes from my background in the military. I get perturbed when I see fellow motor officers with dirty, crappy boots. It makes them look like they don’t care about their appearance. Otherwise, I don’t think about it very much. It’s what I wear. The boots are a requirement. I like to wear them, but when I get home, the boots come off, get cleaned and shined, and then I put my sneakers on and go play with the kiddos.

2. How many pairs of boots do you have?

I have 3 pairs of motorboots. I get a new pair every year (except this year because of budget cutbacks). I wear older boots when I am on traffic duty, especially in bad weather and when I am stuck in a cruiser instead of on my motor. I wear my newest boots when I have escort duty or in court. I don’t own any other boots. (Sorry, BHD, I don’t wear boots off the job.)

3. What do you do with your old boots?

Throw them away. By the time I toss them out, they’re trashed. While BHD has told me that there would be a market for “cop worn boots” … I’m not into that, and I don’t want to deal with ebay or having strangers contact me about my boots. No way.

4. What manufacturer of boots do you prefer?

I like Dehner boots, but as BHD said, Dehner boots get damaged easily. I ride a Harley and there are times when the bike’s exhaust pipes have melted the side of the right boot. Never happens to the left. My Department will buy regular Dehners for me. I have also worn Chippewa motorboots. They’re fine, but the leather seems to be thinner and they wrinkle and sag at the ankles. I don’t like that. My Department doesn’t allow engineer boots, so I don’t have any of those chippewa high shine boots that BHD has.

5. Do you ride a personal motorcycle?

I had one, then the kids came along and my wife “suggested” that I get rid of it. I wasn’t riding it very much, so I sold it. Other officers in my unit have personal bikes. I seem to be carting the kids around in the minivan a lot these days, anyway. No time to ride when I’m not on duty.

6. Last question: you said that you learned something from reading my blog. What did you learn?

Lots of things… I guess first of all, not all gay men are prissy. No really, that’s what I thought for a long time. I’m being honest. Seriously, though, I learned that there is embedded discrimination in the law. I am a man of the law, and enforce it. The laws I enforce are not about gay things, but being a servant of the law, I have learned that some laws force some people to have to deal with things that hurt them. That bothers me. Like BHD can’t get his partner’s health insurance coverage like my wife can. BHD’s partner may have an inheritance tax if he outlives him, where my wife automatically gets the house and our assets tax-free if I die before she does. Things like that. It’s not fair. I’m all about fairness.

Another thing that I learned is that people are people and everyone is different. I knew that, of course, all along, but I had some misconceptions and held stereotypes about gay men. Like many people, I called them “gays” until I realized the term is insulting. BHD has done well to explain how labeling hurts.

I didn’t know any gay people and didn’t know much about them. Then I found out that two guys in our Department are gay. They act like BHD does — just regular guys. I had thought that if we had any gay cops, they would wash out during training or say or do things that would be noticeably … well … “gay.” I learned how to look past the stereotypes and look at people for who they are, not for behaviors I might have been told (incorrectly) to expect from gay men. And my fellow cops who are gay will have my back and I’ll have theirs — first they are trained officers. Being gay has nothing to do with it. (I have had to sit some of my fellow officers down and explain that.)

Through this blog, I learned that the lifestyle isn’t about being gay. BHD’s lifestyle is being a decent, honest, hard-working, and caring man. Someone I’d like to have as a neighbor. So to sum up, I learned that there isn’t a “gay lifestyle” as others have said. This newer understanding about people (gay or straight, black or white or whatever) got me appointed to a special Task Force in our County that draws together reps from county agencies with reps of various groups so we can understand each other better and suggest policy changes. (You didn’t know that, did you BHD?) I enjoy it.

Thanks BHD for the information that you provide, and for the dialogue.

———————
Closing note from BHD: thank you, Officer X, for this great blog post and for answering my questions publicly. You embarrassed me a little bit, but thanks for the compliment on my character. I’d like to have you as a neighbor, too. Congratulations on your appointment to the community Task Force. Your attitude is spot on for this assignment. Ride safe, and thank YOU very much for your service.

A Booted Man in an Unbooted State

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This is a guest blog post written by a man with whom I have been exchanging email for a while. He has written to me about some of the posts on this blog which he told me have been both informative and some have been amusing (like my “amusing google search” posts that appear from time to time.) He’s a teacher and enjoys wearing boots, but in a U.S. state where few men wear cowboy boots on a regular basis. The photos with this post are pictures of some of the boots in his personal collection. Here’s his story.

By: The Only Booted Man in Town

I am a nonconformist by nature. I hate doing what other people do, and despise doing things because they are trendy. Maybe that’s part of why I wear cowboy boots in a part of the country where most guys don’t.

But there’s more to it than that. Let me get on the leather couch for a minute and relax, and let my mind wander to the past. Ahh, there we go.

Here is my bootman story.

When I was in high school, cowboy boots were cool for guys. We were just coming off the “Urban Cowboy” thing, and boots were all over the place. Except on my feet.

I was a nerd by nature, and not well-respected by my peers. I was shy as well, which didn’t help things. Yet I lusted after a pair of boots. Don’t know why. Just really liked them. Finally right before Christmas, my mom and I were in the mall browsing around. We passed a display of cowboy boots in one of the stores. Looking at them, I thought, “Man. Do I actually ask for a pair?” I did. That Christmas morning I found a pair of new boots under the tree. I was in love. I put them on and wouldn’t take them off. Now as I look back, I think, man, those things were terrible. They were made by Fortina in Brazil, tan, with buck stitching on the side. They had two-inch stacked heels, and really were not that great to walk in, but I loved them nonetheless. I wore and wore those things. I still have them and occasionally still do wear them. Did I become the most popular guy in school? No. But girls still did notice them, which is more than what had happened to me before. I kind of liked being a couple of inches taller (once I learned how to walk in them.)

Other trends happened. Boots were replaced by Jazz Oxfords (ick), and my beloved pair of cowboy boots sat in the closet. But I couldn’t get rid of them. So I kept them. High school turned in to college and grad school. Marriage and two sons happened. And yet those boots sat in the closet. My wife even asked me once, “How come you never wear your kickers?”

Then, out of the blue, one day, I put them on. And fell in love all over again. I was that couple of inches taller, walked a little prouder, felt a little more manly. Hmmm…. I wonder if there are any cowboy boots on ebay. Let me look here for a minute.

Alakazam. Boot Acquisition Disorder (BAD) hit really hard. Before I knew it, I owned over 35 pairs. Yes, a modest collection by bootman standards, but a lot for me. I have more shoes than my wife! I wore them every day at home and around town. At first I was self-conscious. Too gay, I thought. Too manly. Too whatever. I googled “are cowboy boots gay” and ended up a BHD’s website (yes, BHD, I was one of “those guys” with the weird google questions). Slowly, but surely, I stopped being so self-conscious about them and wore them in different places, like the junior high school where I work. That took a lot of guts. At first there were a few comments, some by kids, some by male teachers, but they have stopped. (Where’s your horse, pardner?) Now boots are a bit of a trademark with me.

That’s the story. But why? Why do I wear cowboy boots here in the North country where we are thousands of miles away from the South and the West?

Part of it is that they are masculine. I am a quiet man by nature, and definitely not a jock. Can’t throw a football worth a damn. I’d rather work with textiles than power tools. Never even learned to ride a bike. But I love to ride horses. English, though. Not Western. Go figure.

Part of it is the fact that not everybody else around here wears them. I kid that I am the only booted man in town. And for the most part I am. I am also only one of two men in town with a handlebar mustache. But who cares?

I wear them because I like them. I wear them because they are comfortable. I wear them partly for the Marlboro man mystique. I wear them because my wife likes it when I wear them. I wear them too because they represent independence, individuality, and strength.

Most of all, I wear them because I am me.

So there, in a nutshell, is why I wear cowboy boots.

Writer’s Block Broken

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While this blog has been “on pause” for a couple days, I am happy to report that I have received not one, not two, but three guest blog posts, and two questions that are appropriate for blogging about.  One guest blog post is cowboy-boot related, another is from a motorcycle police officer, and another is from my twin brother, who contributes here frequently.  These posts will appear over the next week.

I sincerely appreciate that my appeal for ideas worked. I am always open to suggestions for things to write about, questions to answer, or guest blog posts from others who have something to day about wearing boots, leather, or other issues that I deal with on this blog from time to time. It’s great when people contribute and help out.

If you have any questions, blog suggestions, or wish to contribute a guest blog post, write to me using this form or send me an email if you have it. (I do not publish my email address because nefarious spambots find it and then go crazy.)

Life is short: appreciate contributions!