Yearly Archives: 2012

Game, Shmame

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Today is the day when the Super Bowl, the championship of American Football, is played. This game is hyped up so much. So many promotions from all sorts of retailers who are trying to capitalize on making money from game-related activities — including grocery stores, big box retailers that sell hi-def televisions, furniture stores, and many more. Phooey. I don’t buy into the hype and commercialization related to one football game. Really.

What will I be doing instead of shopping, attending parties, or watching the game?

Considering that most grocery retailers are having sales in promotion with entertaining for “the big game,” and also since Friday, the local TV weather-hyperweasels have had the s-word in our forecast for today’s weather, I feared that the grocery stores would be nuts today. Therefore, I asked the senior pals who I take to the grocery store on Sundays to go with me yesterday instead. We did, had no crowds, and a well-stocked store. Yippie — I avoided the crazies!

Today, I’m not going anywhere. I will spend the day with my partner doing work around our house. There is always work to do. Always.

I have been invited to some “super bowl parties” that my siblings are having, but they have invited me out of courtesy, so I would not feel left out. But they know that I don’t care for football, so they were not surprised in the slightest that I politely declined their offers. Last place I want to be is around a bunch of people “talking football.”

This hype over a football game has even affected my family. I have a niece who is having a milestone birthday today, but they are delaying her birthday party until next week because of “the game.” Sheesh… my priorities are different, I guess.

After the fun of doing the work on our house is over (due to my ol’ body screaming, “no more!”), my partner and I plan to settle down to watch a movie that he has recorded, and perhaps work in a rousing game of scrabble. Yep, that’s it… we are watching movies and playing board games, not football. I have no interest, and while my partner enjoys it far more than I do, he will accommodate my disinterest by offering something else for us to enjoy together.

Fortunately, I do not have to come into my office on the Monday after “the big game,” so I can avoid the sports-talk among my colleagues.

Life is short: the world does not revolve around some football game.

Distracting Attention From Colorful Cowboy Boots

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Fridays are known where I work as “casual Friday.” Most guys wear jeans, polo shirts, and sneakers. I take advantage of the unwritten rule that it is okay to wear jeans to work on Fridays, but along with the jeans, I decided to wear my Lucchese Classic “blue jeans” cowboy boots to work. I work in a professional office. Most other men wear drab, dull, dress shoes on most days, and sneakers on Fridays. Not me–always booted.

These boots, though, are noticeable because of their predominant blue color, with white inlays and black overlays. Not that I would care if anyone said anything, but I conducted an experiment.

I am known not to wear a necktie, except on rare occasions when I have a special meeting. But the day on which I wore those blue/white/black cowboy boots, I also wore a dress shirt and a blue leather tie with a pair of dark black jeans.

Yep, as I thought, most people noticed the tie and said something about it. Only one person — a woman — said, “those are snazzy-looking boots!” The men either noticed the boots and did not say anything, or were more focused on the tie business and did not say anything about the boots. I took a lot of good-natured ribbing about wearing a tie on “casual Friday.” Remarks like, “are you briefing [the big cheese]?” or “important lunch date?” or “presenting again?” were more common. And the tie being made of leather and not silk? No one said a thing.

Moral of the story: if you are concerned about what people may say about a pair of boots you may wear, then throw them off from looking down to looking up — wear a tie. Scare them (LOL! — that’s true in my case!)

Life is short: wear boots to work with dress clothes.

Advocating for My Partner: Patience, Trial and Error

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My partner has had an onslaught of various medical problems that began last November, and persist today. However, things are getting a little bit better. He is not fully recovered, nor may he ever be. But we are taking it one day at a time.

I shan’t bore you with all the details. But I do want to share some lessons that we learned that may help you, or someone you care about, in the future.
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Be Seen!

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My partner is so very thoughtful. He followed me on my Harley one night, and said, “man, I couldn’t see you that well.”

He fixed it — as he always does, the solver of problems. He bought me a new light bar for the back of my Harley. Gave it to me for Christmas. I just had it installed.

Now I can be seen!

I sure enjoyed taking the long way home yesterday from the place where I had the lights installed. The weather was unusually warm (65F, 18C) for January 31! Woo-hoo, I’m riding to work today, February 1! Who woulda thunk?

Life is short: Ride Safe!

Must the Color of Your Boots Match the Color of Your Pants and Belt?

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Men are sometimes concerned with fashion considerations, such as the color of boots to wear with certain colors of clothing, particularly for office wear.

In my opinion, such color-matching considerations do not matter when a guy is wearing denim jeans since boots and jeans go well together in any combination. However, the color-matching concerns could be an issue, albeit more of a personal one, with dress clothes.
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Going Retro in Leather and Boots

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Even 28 years ago when I had my second bike, I wore boots and leather LOL!

In this photo, I am wearing my first pair of tall engineer boots made by Chippewa with the Sears label. I am seated on a Kawasaki 750, which was my second motorcycle after my first, a Kawasaki 440, crapped out after only three years.

The leather you see?

I am wearing a pair of leather jeans that I purchased via a mail order catalog from a company called “Deerskin.” Man, those were very comfortable jeans!

Also shown is the first leather shirt that I struck up the courage to purchase from a store located within the DC Eagle. Visiting that store scared the beejeebers out of me. The first two times that I tried to go to the store, I never made it because my fears got the best of me. Man, all those guys in full leather and boots — what were they going to do to me?

Turns out, as I learned from experience, these guys were friendly and non-threatening. They pretty much kept to themselves, within their own groups (clubs, cliques), and left me alone. But the first visit or two, I was afraid that I was going to be attacked. Never happened. The only attention that I received was smiles and winks.

I receive the occasional email message from younger guys who are exploring their interest in leather. Man, they have it so much easier these days with leather fetish and motorcycle leather vendors so easily accessible on the internet. (See the links page on my website for recommendations.) Back when this photo was taken, the internet was restricted to military applications and us regular dudes didn’t even know what it was.

Well, anyway, thank you for traveling down memory lane with me. Yeah, it is easier to get leathers and tall boots these days — and you can, and should, wear them even if you do not ride or own a motorcycle.

Life is short: wear leather!

Not Being One of the Kool Kids

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Most everyone wants to be accepted among “the in group” — “the cool crowd” — those who are admired and lead the pack. In straight male culture, the “kool kids” are the Alpha Males. In gay culture, these are the “A-Gays.” If you get an alpha male or a-gay to like you and accept you among his friends, invite you to his events — anything from “lunch with the gang” or a “pick up motorcycle ride among us friends” or a “night out on the town” — then “you’ve made it.”

Or have you?

Throughout my life, I have struggled with observing the behaviors of the “kool kids” and wondering if I could be more like them. When I was in high school, most of the “cool guys” were graceful, athletic, and went to all the dances. Man, that left me out. Yeah, this klutzy kid never grew into the graceful man. Such is the life of a quarantasinestrapede*.

The Alpha Males center on guy-things, like spouses/girlfriends, sports, cars, and other things that social expectations dictate. Males are taught to behave that way from the day they are born.

There again, that leaves me out… while I like women as friends, it is obvious that I am not interested in women as straight men are interested in them — sexually. Interest in sports? Nope… I really don’t care for sports of any sort. I was happy to be my jock twin brother’s main cheering section back in the day, and that’s it.

Alpha gays seem to spend a lot of time choosing “the right” clothes. They (IMHO) obsess on grooming. They spend a lot of time socializing.

Man, there again, that leaves me out. Fashion statement I’m not. Suit, tie, and dress shoes? I’d rather be in leather and boots. Grooming? I’m happy to take a shower every day, towel my hair dry, and leave it “product-free.” Smelly cologne? No.friggin.way. Socializing? Nope… bedtime arrives early!

As I have matured, I have grown comfortable in my own skin (and the skin of cows), and with the choices that I make about what I do, how I dress, and avoiding discomfort — such as being around others watching “the game” or dancing during a night on the town.

I have also realized that being one of the cool crowd as an adult has many similarities to how school kids behave — watching, posturing, boasting, and closing into a clique. In fact, this just happened to me once again when I attended a dinner held by a group to which I belong. Seating at the dinner was open — except for the kool kids, one of whose leaders made nameplates made for them to reserve spaces at the two best tables in the room. Gosh, this kiddie stuff still happens… disappointing, but not surprising.

Relating back to the opening of this post — “you’ve made it if you can get an alpha male/A-gay to accept you as one of his friends — or have you?” …

I have realized that I am who I am and what makes me, “me,” is not going to change. I have also come to terms with the understanding that the characteristics, behaviors, and even style of dress that I have adopted are not on the “favorable list” among the a-guys. So I remain left out.

Have I “not made it” as a result? No, on the contrary…

I have made it to another level of comfort with myself, and a sort of pity for those who feel that they have to behave the way that they do — anything from arranging name plates on a table for their clique, to grooming and dressing in a certain way (and espousing disdain for those who do not).

I really do feel sorry for those who feel that they must behave that way. I am better than that. So look to me to lead the way to a different level of self-acceptance and comfort in the complex man that I am.

Life is short: accept yourself.

*Quarantasinestrapede: “forty left feet”. Having left feet is an American expression meaning that the person so-footed cannot dance because he is known to step on his partner’s feet or trip over his own, or both. Having 40 left feet is even worse. Believe me, I know… perhaps that is why I own so many boots, to have enough for each of my 40 left feet.

One Year Ago Today

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I can hardly believe it has been a whole year. One year ago today, I held the hand of my 96-year-old aunt as she lay bewildered, uncomfortable, and miserable in a hospital bed. She briefly opened her eyes, and asked where she was and what happened.

… a brief interlude of lucidity among the deep clouds that Alzheimer’s Disease wrought on her brain.

I explained that she had a heart attack, and that she was being treated in a hospital.

“A hospital? I don’t want to be here…”.

Gosh that hurt. “Of course, sweet aunt, I know you don’t want to be here, but you’re not well enough to be home right now.”

Then she closed her eyes, and I thought she was going to sleep. Suddenly, she opened her eyes wide and reached for my hand again. With strength I didn’t think she had, she pulled me close. She kissed me, and said the last words that I would ever hear from her,

“Thank you, thank you. I love you.”

… then she closed her eyes, dropped her hand, and stopped breathing.

The alarms on her monitors started bleeping and screeching and making quite a cacophony. I just sat there with her, and two of her caregivers who were there with us.

Nurses ran in, but honored our previous discussions — my aunt had a “DNR — Do Not Resuscitate” order — so they silenced the alarms and left the room.

I had made my peace, knowing that I had done everything possible that I could do to ensure that she was happy and safe in the last years of her life, up until her dying day. I have many fond memories of this memorable time in my life.

The rest of that day was a blur. I talked to her sons who live out-of-state, and who made arrangements to come as soon as they could. My siblings offered to come look after me, but there really wasn’t anything that they could do. I just wanted to go home and be held by my partner.

Soon enough, I regained my composure and strength, and moved on to do what needed to be done, to honor my aunt and observe her final wishes.

Dealing with death is never easy, but when you know in your heart that the loved-one you cared for was happy and that you had fulfilled all promises and moreso, then the grief is not as painful. Sure, I cried, but I slept well that night, too, knowing in my heart that my aunt was finally at peace.

Life is short: show those you love how you love them, each and every day.

Frye or Wesco Boots?

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Kid you not, this was a question that landed a visitor to this blog. Unfortunately, it was directed to a post where I discussed differences between Chippewa and Wesco boots, not Frye. Oh well, here goes… what are the major comparisons between Frye and Wesco boots?

Hmmm… like what’s the difference between a Yugo and a Harley?

Some readers may not be old enough to know what a Yugo was… photo shown… a little car made in by the Serbian automaker Zastava that was imported in the U.S. It was notorious for frequent breakdowns as a result of poor manufacturing processes. Compared with a Harley — purely in jest — one would easily find a Harley motorcycle to be much more reliable and better built than a Yugo. The only comparisons were that both of these machines were vehicles made of steel and had tires. That is it.

Today, this comparison is sort of the same when it comes to Frye boots and Wesco boots. While some of the men’s classic-designed Frye boots are made in the USA, the process of Frye bootmaking took a serious nosedive when the original John A. Frye Company of Massachusetts sold out in 2003, and was subsequently purchased, sold, bought, and re-sold by a string of holding companies. The current company that owns the Frye name is Li and Fung, based in China.

The companies that have owned the Frye name since the original company sold out were, in my opinion, not interested in making boots — they were interested in selling boots with a name that was well-recognized in the United States (and around the world.) These companies simply bought the “Frye” name, then had boots made of similar, but not equal, design and made with lower quality materials by machines. However, the price of a new pair of Frye boots is very high, especially considering the low value one gets from the use of cheap materials and labor to make these boots today.

The company that makes Wesco boots, on the other hand, has been owned and operated by the same family since 1918. Their bootmaking facilities are based in Scappoose, Oregon, near Portland. Other than making boots, this is where similarities between Frye boots and Wesco boots end.

Wesco boots have superior leather, materials (such as Kevlar stitching), Vibram soles, double-stitching at the sole and stress points, as well as each boot being made under human control and attention. Yes, machines are used to do various processes in making the boots, but always under human touch — from forming the foot onto the last (the form), to stitching the sole onto the boot, and much more.

I’ll throw an intermediate boot brand in here for consideration. This is based on a comment that someone posted with one of my videos. That is — Chippewa boots. Well cared-for Chippewa boots will last as long as Wesco boots. Chippewas are very well-made, and made in the USA. To a lot of guys, it doesn’t make sense to spend two or three times as much on a pair of boots if you would get the quality from Chippewas that you would from Wesco boots. While Wesco boots have some more features that Chippewa boots do not — such as lug soles — for the most part, the two brands (Chippewa and Wesco) compare well — sort of like a Chevrolet and a Cadillac (in U.S. car comparison terms, carrying the analogy that began above.) Both cars (i.e., boots) “drive” well.

Price-wise, a new pair of Frye boots is almost the same as a new pair of Chippewa boots, but that is it. Frye quality suffers tremendously. The money they save on using cheaper materials and labor to make Frye boots lines the pockets of the Chinese owners of the Frye label. Frankly, I would rather invest money in a U.S. owned and operated company (Chippewa or Wesco) than Frye.

In my opinion, there is no true comparison between new Frye boots and new Wesco boots. It’s worse than comparing apples and oranges … or … Yugos and Harleys.

Life is short: know boot quality!

Mail Bounces

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I enjoy receiving messages from people all over the world who visit this blog and my website.

Unfortunately, there are times when I receive an email bounce, which reads like this:

This is the mail system at host gateway07.xxxx

I’m sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients.

The mail system

: host mta2.am0.yahoodns.net[xx.xx.xxx.xxx] said: 554
delivery error: dd This user doesn’t have a yahoo.com account
(jimxxxx@yahoo.com) [-5] – mta1434.mail.mud.yahoo.com (in reply to end of DATA command)

[I deliberately obscured the actual email address, but Jim should know who he is]

This is a sample from an actual bounced email that occurred earlier today, January 23. The message from a guy in the U.K. was very nice, and I wrote a reply, but unfortunately, he did not enter his email address correctly on my write to me page, so my effort to respond to him was returned — and he is left thinking that I never responded and probably worse about me as a person. I hate it when that happens.

Please, if you write to me, follow the instructions to double-check your email address. If it is wrong, even by one character, then it will bounce (or perhaps be delivered to someone else.)

If you are the author of a message from my “write to me” page and have not received a reply, then please, write again, and make certain that I have your correct email address! I will reply to all legitimate messages that I receive.

Life is short: ensure accuracy.