Here in the U.S., today, Saturday November 26, 2011, it is “small business Saturday.” While this “event” is sponsored by American Express, the intent is to encourage people to make purchases at small businesses over big-box retailers.
Why do I support small business?
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Black Friday! The day in the U.S. after Thanksgiving is known to be “the” day when stores offer many sales for Christmas. I shan’t say “to start the holiday season” because many retailers put up holiday displays back in late August. Bah, humbug.
Anyway, what I am I doing today?
NOT shopping. My Christmas shopping was completed in July. However, perhaps I will wear all black leather today, in honor of the name of the day, and also ’cause I like to wear leather. (giggle.)
Today, my partner and I are recovering. This post is a place-holder for a description of how our Thanksgiving went… but I may not update it before it gets posted. I wrote this post a few days ago.
So for now, I am sure that the morning began with a long, warm snuggle with my partner. Both of us have the day off work today. We will likely have to make a run to the dump with collected garbage, return borrowed chairs and tables, and do some housecleaning. Goodness knows, a few years ago we didn’t clean as well as we should have done after one of these Thanksgiving feasts. We discovered a couple weeks later that a turkey leg was, ahem, making its presence known under the sofa in the family room. How it got there, one never knows. Don’t worry, today we will be inspecting thoroughly!
Meanwhile, shopping is the last thing on my mind. Rest, recovery, and basking in great joy from our Thanksgiving is what I’m up to today.
Life is short: wait for Small Business Saturday (tomorrow) if you must shop. Tune in tomorrow for what that’s all about.
Busy, busy, busy today! I have been up and at-em since 4am, preparing for our annual Thanksgiving Holiday senior’s pot-lock bash. Throughout the day, we anticipate seeing about 100 guests, 10 or so family members, some senior elected officials, and who knows what else…
Checklist:
Happy Thanksgiving! Check back tomorrow to see how we survived!
Tomorrow is the date when we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States, and by those who serve our country in distant lands across the world. Whether we agree or disagree with the politics of what places U.S. Service Members overseas, we must remember that they are separated from family and friends during a time of traditional reunion. I extend my thanks to them for their sacrifice and service.
What does Thanksgiving mean to me? Turkey, all the trimmings, football games on television, seeing Uncle Whazzisname but once a year? Nope….
Thanksgiving was created in America to give thanks for the fall harvest and to share the bounty with family, friends, and neighbors. There is quite a history of this major national holiday (see it here). Feeding neighbors is the foundation of American Thanksgiving, as the first Thanksgiving was in 1621 when the Pilgrims held the first feast for themselves and their Native American neighbors.
Flash forward to 2011… here we are, feeding neighbors with the bountiful delights of a pot-luck harvest with and for my senior pals.
Customarily, most families try to reunite with each other on this holiday. However, such reunions are also a focus for Christmas, just one month away. Most of my senior pals who live alone cannot afford to travel to visit children who live far away on both holidays so close together on the calendar. The reverse is true, as well — children have trouble getting time off work and/or school to come home for Thanksgiving.
That leaves a situation of many seniors being alone on Thanksgiving. I just can’t abide that. To make a sad situation much more happy, we invite friends (and friends-of-friends and friends-of-friends-of-friends) who otherwise would be alone on this holiday to join us. Over four three-hour “shifts” throughout the day, about 100 of our friends come by, bearing some of the harvest — a dish for four. Their contribution may include vegetables, breads, appetizers, and — of course — pies, pies, pies. What would Thanksgiving be without apple and pumpkin pie? And don’t forget the cranberry sauce (though hardly anyone eats the stuff LOL!)
All I do is cook four farm-raised fresh turkeys (two ovens, two days.) Ten of my sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews set out a grand buffet and we all munch, graze, or otherwise “partake.” We sing silly songs around the piano, root for whatever team is playing football (if one cares to watch the TV in the media room), or chat with each other in more quiet areas of the house (or weather-permitting, out on one of the decks.)
What does Thanksgiving mean to me? It is a time to share the joy of bonds of long-term friendship and love with great people who form the net who sustain my soul. It is a time for me to thank my family and friends for their caring concern and love extended throughout the year. It is a time to remember happy memories of times gone by, people we love, and things we have done with and for each other. It truly is… a time of smiles and great joy in sharing God’s blessings.
Personally, I have one more important thing that Thanksgiving means to me: it is a time when I give many thanks to my partner for his steadfast support, love, strength, determination, and for being my “best half, partner through life.”
So while my partner will work behind the scenes tomorrow, doing what he does best — listening to stories that seniors wish to share — I’ll be circulating among all, sitting with each one, taking a moment to hold his or her hand, look into her or his eyes, and say with sincerity, “thank you — for your love, support, and caring.”
This is what Thanksgiving means to me. A time to extend my sincere thanks to my family, my friends, and to you, my loyal blog followers. Thank you for caring enough to read my daily ramblings. And for those of you with whom I have built a friendship, thanks for your kindness, warmth-of-heart, and humor. I appreciate it!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Life is short: show those you love how you love them.
Being a biker who is also fond of cowboy boots and the various types of skins that may be used to make them, I was intrigued to find a pair of Chippewa harness boots that have an ostrich foot and traditional leather shafts, along with good-quality Vibram lug soles.
So when I saw them on a website back in March, (continued after the jump)…
I contacted the seller and negotiated a good price on a pair of these beauties in brown. (I don’t take list price for an answer… there is always wiggle-room if a seller wants to move product.)
I wore these boots throughout the past summer while riding my Harley. Even good-looking enough to wear with dress clothes to work. They are very comfortable, well-constructed, traditional tough-looking harness boots.
Chippewa also makes these boots in black. I have a lot of black motorcycle boots, so I thought I would “take a pass” on spending US$360 to buy them in black. The ostrich skin makes these boots more expensive than if they were made of all-leather.
However, come November, what did I see on eBay but a pair of these ostrich boots in black. My size! Okay… I’m no fool when it comes to snatching up a quality. I bid and got them for only $30. Amazing… they retail for more than 11 times that amount. They guy selling them lived up the road from me, so the day after I won the bid and paid, I met him at a mutually-convenient public location (I never invite strangers to the house). Double-amazing on the quick delivery (but it was a Saturday, so it was convenient for both of us).
The seller said that he bought them and, in his opinion, thought the ostrich foot was “too much” and some of his friends made snide comments. He wore them a few times, but when I inspected them, they were practically brand new. Triple-amazing.
Well, his loss and my gain. They go great with dressy clothes that I wear to work, as well as with leather… versatility in boots is a good thing (LOL!)
Who gives a frig about what other people say about the boots on your feet? If people feel compelled to make snide comments, it’s probably because they are insecure and feel better putting other people down. Hell with it… the boots are fantastic. I will wear these boots often — throughout the winter with dress clothes to work, and when I ride my Harley, too.
More photos of these black ostrich harness boots.
Life is short: know quality and wear it!
Occasionally, I receive questions from visitors to my website or this blog.
A recent question was, “do any of the cowboy boots that you own rub your legs and cause sores or blisters?”
My answer to that question was…
…yes, some of my cowboy boots have done that. This problem occurs when the boot shafts are a bit narrow (so they are closer to my legs) and the stitching on the inside of the shafts is not finished well. That is, the stitching may be loose or uneven. The threads used these days are usually nylon, which is rather rough and abrasive when it rubs on the side of legs. (Kevlar is even worse). Walking can cause the threads to rub against the legs in the same places over and over again, causing (in the worst circumstances), the skin to be abraded and maybe even a bleeding sore.
There are four ways that I have dealt with this problem when I feel it.
1. I will closely examine the inside of the boot shafts where I am feeling the rubbing sensation. If there are any loose threads or unfinished ends of leather, I will try to cut them off or if I can’t cut them, to melt them. Yeah, I said “melt.” Boot threads made of nylon will melt when exposed to a flame. So I will take the boots and my lighter outside to a clear area (I am always a fire-safety guy!) … light the lighter and carefully wave the end of the flame near the threads to melt them. I am very careful not to get the flame too close to the leather, because it will cause leather to discolor and to shrink (in the area directly exposed to flame.) I am also very careful not to burn the threads completely through — if that happens, the boot may begin to fall apart.
After the threads are melted, I will carefully pull or break off the melted ends to smooth them out. Then I proceed with the next step.
2. I will get some medium (100 grit) sandpaper and rub it on the offending loose threads, beading, or ends-of-leather. Essentially, I will “sand down” the parts that are causing the rubbing. After I have sanded all areas that I think are causing the problem, I will gently wipe the areas that I sanded with a damp cloth, then pull the boots on to check if the problem has gone away. If not, I will repeat the process until the problem is resolved.
3. In cases where I cannot melt or sand an offending area to smoothness — such as where a boot pull attaches to the inside of a boot — then I will get some regular masking tape (“paper tape”) and carefully place the tape over the offending area. Usually that works, but not always. Tape also has to be replaced from time to time, as it is not a permanent fix.
4. I may use the professional boot stretcher that I own to try to stretch the boot shafts, slowly over time. If I am able to stretch the shafts of leather boots even 1/4″ (6mm), I may eliminate the problem because the area that was rubbing is no longer close to my legs for me to feel it.
Such is life of a Bootman. Not all boots are made the same. I hate to say it, but it doesn’t really matter if the boots are made by an expensive custom one-of-a-kind bootmaker, a commercial mass-production vendor, or where in the world the boots are made. Sometimes there may be loose threads, beading, or bits of leather that will rub on your legs. It is fairly easy to resolve yourself with a bit of ingenuity and tactics as described above.
Life is short: make your boots comfortable!
I had a chance to take a ride yesterday while the weather was sunny and pleasantly cool. It was about 50°F (10°C), which was perfect weather to break in my custom gray leather jacket and my matching gray leather pants that I bought earlier this year from Johnson Leather of San Francisco, California, USA.
These leathers are thick and warm, and are made for cold-weather riding. They are very comfortable, and look great. Funny thing happened on the ride, too….
I have said before, not all leather must be black! But I did wear a traditional pair of tall black Wesco Boss boots. They are comfortable boots and keep my legs warm.
This gear attracted some attention when I stopped at a few places along my ride. The funniest incident was when I was mounting my Harley in a parking lot, and a guy rode up in a tricked-out, hot Camaro. He got out of his car, looked me up and down, and said, “Grrrrrr!” I just smiled. The term “Grrrrrr” in the Gay Leathermen Community is an expression of appreciation and admiration. LOL!
It was great to get out for an unexpected ride on a pleasantly cool day in full leather.
Life is short: appreciate all the “Grrrrrs” you can get!
On a recent airline flight, I was seated at a window and two other guys were next to me in the middle and aisle. These guys knew each other, which was easy to tell by their familiar form of speaking with one another.
As the plane was loading and took off, they continued chatting. They asked me a few questions about routine stuff. I politely answered questions like, “where are you going? What will you be doing?,” and so forth.
Then their conversation turned to sports.
They seemed to know the names of every player on every team, how each player was doing, and were making predictions about various upcoming football games.
They tried to draw me into their conversation with some casual questions like, “do you think Quarterback [name] on [team] has a chance?”
A chance of what? I haven’t a clue.
I smiled and said, “I don’t know.” I was hoping that they would sense my disinterest and move on, or just talk with each other and not try to involve me.
Then one of the guys asked, “what was the rushing yardage of [football player]?” As if I knew (or cared) about such statistics — even if the player were on the team from my home location.
I ignored that one, and was pleased that we were interrupted by an announcement over the P.A. system.
But that guy wouldn’t give up. He asked me again, “didn’t [player] have better rushing last year than this year so far?”
I finally had it. I turned to them, smiled, and said, “I’m sorry, guys, but I don’t follow football and don’t know the answers to your questions.”
They didn’t get it. They just kept going. “Okay, but tell me, what do you think about Quarterback [name] on [team]?
I replied and said, “Guys, I told you, I don’t know. I don’t care about football.”
Man, it was like I said that I didn’t care about The Bible or God. They got upset. “What do you mean that you don’t care? All guys care about this stuff. It’s important!”
I wasn’t going to argue with them. I just kept quiet. But they persisted with some more questions and comments to try to draw me into the conversation.
I decided that it was best not to make a scene. By then, the announcement was made that we could use portable electronic devices, so since I am smartphone-less, I did the next-best thing. I pulled out my Bose Quietcomfort headphones and connected an iPod to it, turned up the volume, reclined the seat, shut my eyes, and listened to some of my favorite tunes.
Bose headsets are great, but they do not block all sound completely. For hours and hours I could hear these guys blathering about football non-stop. The entire five-hour flight, that’s all they did. I never got a nap. But I listened to over 60 of my favorite tunes!
Arrrggghhh… such is life of a non-sports fan.
Life is short: take a hint.
Recently, I traveled to a conference and went through four airports along the way — my home airport, Philadephia, Las Vegas, and Phoenix, then back to my home airport.
Throughout my travels, everyone — I mean everyone — had some sort of smart phone and was fiddling with it to check email and use various applications.
They would hold it up in front of them and walk along, bumping into pillars, posts, and other people. They would be so engrossed in their devices that they didn’t hear announcements for when the flight was loading. Some used it to hold up some type of bar code image at the gate — sorta like an electronic boarding pass. Some refused to turn it off when instructed by airline attendants before takeoff.
Honestly, I am surprised that they let me into an airport without one. Even as I went through Security, a TSA Guy asked me, “where’s your smartphone?” as if not having one was a crime.
I truly feel as if I am the last remaining man who works in a professional position (and could afford one) who does not have one of those devices.
I recognize that these devices provide convenience, and can offer quick access to information-on-demand. I used to have a Blackberry when I was required to have one by a former employer. I know what these devices can do.
Why don’t I have one?
Two major reasons and a minor one:
1. I learned that my time “off-the-net” or what I call “disconnected time” is critical for my mental health. I need “down time” without distractions. Such “time off” allows me to concentrate on what is important — driving a 5,000-pound death machine (a vehicle); my partner, family, and friends to whom I give undivided attention when I am with them; and my sanity. I really don’t need to know the news as it happens. I can find out when it is convenient to me, not the other way around.
2. “Only a dollar a day” for the cost of a monthly data package doesn’t wash with me. With taxes, fees, and related expenses, I can put that US$400 per year to much better use. Okay, call me cheap. I prefer to be called frugal. Further, if these kids who are participating in all the “occupy”-this-and-that location are so against “corporate greed,” then they should live by the words they preach, and not make rich companies richer by paying the monthly ransom for the data packages on these devices.
3. The minor reason that I don’t have a smartphone is that I am not that important. I do not work in a job that requires continued connectivity back to the office or from emergency alerts. At the times in my life when I was required to have a smart phone, it was because I had micromanagers as bosses who demanded almost instantaneous responses wherever I was. I am extremely thankful that my current boss, the owner of my company, is not a micromanager. When he wants to reach me, he sends an email and waits for my reply, or if it is more urgent, he calls me on the phone. Wow — a phone call. Who woulda thunk?
Oh well, such is life of a Dinosaur who remains on a first-name basis with Julius Caesar.
Life is short: enjoy peace and cost-savings.
Somehow a search for “conversation topics for gay and straight guys” directed a visitor to this blog.
In case you are a new reader of this blog, or just stumbled upon it, I am a middle-aged gay man in a monogamous relationship with another man, and have been so settled for over 18 years. I consider myself to be a regular masculine man, with various likes and dislikes — like anyone else.
The topic is interesting to me on several levels.
The majority of people with whom I communicate regularly are straight — where I work, where I serve my community as a volunteer, and in the group with whom I ride my motorcycle. Besides my partner and few friends, I don’t know any other gay people, and do not go to social functions focused solely on the basis of gay people being there. I feel that as a confident and secure, mature man, I don’t need to socialize only with gay people. In fact, I enjoy socializing with a mixed group better than a “gay-only” group.
When I have a conversation with straight people, I talk about common interests. I have a wide variety of interests, and talk about things I enjoy doing or learning about with others. I join the conversation when I have something to add, and shut up when I don’t.
I avoid joining conversations about sports, because I don’t know anything about organized sports. Frankly, I don’t care. When straight people (or gay people, for that matter) take the conversation into sports, I just smile and listen. I am attentive, so the others know that I care enough to listen to what they have to say. What they don’t know is that soon after the conversation has ended, I have forgotten its content.
I believe that conversation topics for gay and straight guys is exactly the same as they are between any guys without regard to sexual orientation. Someone being gay only becomes an issue if one makes it that way. Just be yourself, and talk about things where you have common interests.
If you are not sure where you may have common ground, ask some questions to get the conversation going, such as,
* where do you live?
* what are your hobbies?
* what do you do for a living?
* Have you traveled much? To where? What was your favorite place and why? Least favorite place and why?
* If you haven’t traveled much, where would you like to visit?
* What’s your favorite season?
* What are your favorite foods?
* What are your favorite local restaurants?
* What are your favorite TV shows? Movies? Books? Characters?
* Where did you go to school?
These are general, open-ended questions design to get a conversation going. Most anyone can find things to talk about among these topics. Note that there are not any questions that may introduce sexual orientation into the mix. For example, no question about someone else’s spouse or children like, “are you married?” or “how many kids do you have?” Asking someone about his spouse or children inevitably invites a return question about yourself which if answered honestly makes it clear that you’re gay. Coming out (as gay) to someone you have just met can make for awkward moments and may kill a conversation. So steer the conversation into neutral territory, at first.
I am not advocating hiding in the closet (that is, not disclosing your sexual orientation.) I am only saying that your sexual orientation should not be the first topic of conversation, or a central focus.
In summary, my recommendation for conversation topics between gay and straight men are the things that you share in common — where you work, who you know (mutual friends), and what you do (religious activities, recreation, sports, affiliation with groups or clubs, etc.) There usually are plenty of things to talk about, if only you give it a try.
Life is short: relax and enjoy the conversation.