Yearly Archives: 2010

Christmas Shopping Done

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I’m late this year… I usually have all of my Christmas shopping done by July. I was delayed because I have been spending so much time with my aunt who has required a lot of attention. But she’s better now, and stable. I have arranged 24/7 care for her, so I can attend to other matters.

The last “thing” on my list was birthday and anniversary cards for the families and loved-ones of five special seniors. (I’ve been doing this for a number of years). I buy cards for each of these seniors’ special people, then address the envelopes, put on a “forever” stamp, and insert them in a month-by-month card organizer. It’s a great gift for a senior who can’t really get out to buy cards any more, but who wants to send a card for a loved-ones birthday or anniversary.

For the past two weeks, I bought 186 cards — “birthday, male child; birthday, female child; birthday, adult male; birthday, adult female; anniversary of child’s wedding; daughter-in-law or son-in-law birthday; or a “you’re special” birthday card for a non-relative, but loved person. I sorted, labeled, stamped, and organized all of these cards into card organizer holders for these very special seniors in MY life. With that, my Christmas shopping is DONE!

Note: I didn’t mention my partner. Of course I got him some gifts, but I did that back in April. All done… no stores, no crowds, no “bah-humbug.” Just smiles and cheers of “woo-hoo” ’cause I don’t have to have any Christmas shopping hassles. Yea!

BTW: I guess it’s a “guy thing” that I celebrate not having to do any Christmas shopping. I know it’s not a “gay thing” but as I’ve said before, “I didn’t get those genes.” (LOL!)

Life is short: plan ahead!

Isn’t This Sad?

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One of my banking institutions included this image in a recent email that they sent out to market for new business. The message was about “back to school” and spending money at participating merchants that provide a small bonus to their banking customers (and probably more to the bank for advertising and promotion fees.)

Anyway, isn’t this image sad? Two kids probably about 10 years old, each with their own expensive gizmo-gadgets, smiling away as they spend their parent’s money on monthly fees to support those things? Truly, I find that quite sad.

Back in the day, a dime to call home if we were going to be late was all we needed. Mom and Dad knew where we were all the time, or there would be hell to pay. Today, parents give their kids all these techie toys that cost a lot of money each month in service fees.

Frankly, I was just as happy with two cans and a string.

Life is short: just ask… I am on a first-name basis with dinosaurs, Julius Caesar, and Plato (or is that Pliny the Elder?)

The Trials of a Having a Large Boot Collection

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Unlike some guys, I actually wear (or try to wear) all of the boots that I own. I admit, I own a few pairs of boots that I can’t wear any more. I keep some of them for nostalgic purposes. Like the boots I wore atop the Great Wall of China, or the boots I wore while in Romania during the immediate aftermath of the post-Ceauşescu era, or the boots that the Pope blessed (well, he blessed me, but the Fryes I had on got blessed along with me.)

I also have a few pairs of boots that I talk a lot about selling or finding a home for, such as my old Redwood Wesco boots that don’t fit me any more, and a couple odds-n-ends that don’t fit as well. I just cannot possess myself to discard a pair of boots, even if they are damaged or completely worn out.

Well, anyway, the other day I was rummaging around in the closet of our guest room and I saw something on the floor. Turned out to be a pair of jungle-type tall canvas/leather motorcycle boots. I had forgotten that I had them, and how those boots ended up in that closet, I’ll never know.

I got them out, put them on, and was pleasantly surprised about how comfortable they were. I wonder why I stopped wearing them. (Well, I know why: I forgot!)

That’s the peril of having a large boot collection. No matter how well one is organized with a website devoted to cataloging the collection and storage built expressly for the purposes of displaying the boots and keeping them in order (and off the bedroom floor, which begat the whole website thing in the first place) — sometimes one may forget that he has a certain pair of boots. Sometimes the boots wander off to get squirreled away in places that one doesn’t ordinarily look.

I do intend to reduce the boot collection to those that I wear regularly. (Note to self: keep writing that and perhaps you will follow through with this self-promise!) But I do wear a lot of my boots. I may change boots three to five times each day, depending on what I am doing, where I am going, and what I need on my feet for the conditions: rain, snow, or whilst motorcycling, for example.

At least no one can accuse me of not knowing what I have any more (giggle.) Just check out the website and my questions are resolved.

Life is short: wear boots!

The Blank Page

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I found the most interesting and useful internet page — it is called, simply, “Blank Web Page.” (See it by clicking here. I promise, it won’t hurt your computer nor introduce bad things like a trojan or a virus.)

I build in re-directs from some of my website’s pages to this page from time to time. A “re-direct” simply means that if you think you are visiting a page on my website, it ends up somewhere else and entirely off the domain of my website.

Unfortunately, some people who participate in various on-line forums include a link to my website. They make comments about what appears on the website page to which they are linking. Most of the time, I can’t see what they’re saying, but I can guess. Since they linked to me without permission and I have no idea what they’re saying, I redirect them elsewhere. I don’t want them on my site.

Forums for CHP officers, Finnish motorbikers, die-hard Harley bikers, and even some brain-dead chick’s blog have linked to some pages on my website and then have been re-directed to “Blank Web Page.”

Whoever invented “Blank Web Page”: thank you for creating it. I had no idea something like this would be so useful.

Fortunately, the people who link to my site and get re-directed to a blank page quickly loose interest and stop visiting. Then I can rest my website back to usual.

Life is short: outsmart dimwits.

90-lbs of Sister in 180-lbs of Cowhide

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Question: why would my little sister put on my new, tough, thick cowhide biker chaps?

Answer: because she wanted to ride on my Harley, yet her pants were so thin that the heat from the bike was hurting her legs.

Here’s the story. My little sister asked me to pick her up on my Harley at the Metro station, then go visit our aunt, then go to another sister’s house for the regular Friday night family dinner.

When I arrived at the Metro station, I saw that sis had on a pair of dress slacks that were thin. I was a little concerned, but she hopped on the back of the bike, donned a helmet, and said, “let’s go!” Off we went.

The visit with our aunt was great, but as we were leaving her home, sis explained that her legs were feeling really hot from the heat of the bike’s exhaust.

I offered to take her to my local K-Mart to get some jeans. When we arrived in the store’s parking lot, she was changing her mind and suggested we go back to my house and get the truck and use that to go to our other sister’s for dinner. But as this sister is known to do, she changed her mind again and said, “I’m having too much fun. I want to ride on your Harley!”

That’s when I said, “well, I have a pair of chaps in the saddle bag. You want to see if they will protect your legs while we ride?”

Well, there she is, all wrapped in custom-made chaps in my size. She is half my size and half my weight soaking wet. (That’s why I call her my “little” sister, even though she’s four years older). She and I both laughed our heads off. But it worked…she was safe and enjoyed the ride to Outer Slobbovia to sister’s house for dinner. The family saw our arrival and roared.

We are all still laughing. What one does for family.

Life is short: protect those you love and show them you love them!

900th Blog Post

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Blogger makes it too easy to count the number of posts on a blog. So here’s 900 (well, actually #903 since the “straight guy” series and my brother’s post occupied important, sequential positions).

I’m thinkin’ of reducing the every-day posting activity to less often. Some times I have a lot to say, and other times I don’t. Some times people have time to read, and other times, they don’t. I think I’ll try to strike a balance in the middle somewhere. What do you think?

Meanwhile, keep reading, and I’ll keep writing.

Life is short: blog on!

Out Riding

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I led a ride yesterday. In order to lead a ride, I had to take more than several “test-runs” earlier in the week, one of them with my brother. The trials were not all that successful, but even though I didn’t complete the route during the test-run, I learned what would work and what would not work; what roads to take and what roads we could not navigate, or were closed due to repairs and a detour was required. I also learned not to rely on the GPS completely. Great as a guide, but not the final authority.

If you want to know how a typical group motorcycle ride works, read this previous blog post.

All 14 of us had a great time riding the Maryland back roads and byways on a bright, sunny, delightful day. Not too hot, not cool … just right for Harleys and the smiles of the riders who enjoyed the ride that I led.

Life is short: get out, ride, and enjoy it!

A Brother’s Perspective

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Guest blog by BHD’s twin brother, J

Well, bro’, our visit sure went quickly. It seems that no sooner than we arrived, we’re back on a plane headed for home in France. But I did get to go riding with you several times, and enjoyed visiting with our family and our aunt who you look after so closely. Too bad the rain interfered with some of our riding, but that’s life. It didn’t interrupt the quality time that you and I spent together.

This year, I observed that you were more laid back, calm, and — how do I say it? — peaceful. When we were around our family, with the kids running around and everyone talking at once (as our family is wont to do) … you may have been sitting quietly on the floor with our two-year-old great nephew building a tower with blocks. Or you may have been sitting with our sister having a quiet conversation. Or, I even caught you poking your nose under the hood of our brother-in-law’s restored ’76 Camaro. (Don’t tell me you aren’t a wrench. I know ’em when I see ’em.)

You extend you care so gently to our aunt, and draw her out of her shell and engage her in a way that she doesn’t do with anyone else. You get her to smile, to laugh, to walk, and to eat. No one else can seem to do that as well or as often, even though she has excellent around-the-clock care.

And once again, your clan of seniors who adore you were omnipresent. Their gift of cake, ice cream, and their little song during their visit last Sunday afternoon was a delightful surprise for our birthday. It is obvious that they adore you, and you care for them very much. You always say, “what goes around comes around” or “it’s a two-way street.” Whatever… the energy you put into caring for them is obviously much appreciated, and you are deeply loved.

You seem to be at peace with everything and everyone. You certainly remain busy with the political campaigns you are working on, your community work, keeping your household running, and lots of other stuff. But you have made your limits clear; keeping your focus on (how you say it) “the priorities.” You have established your priorities and everyone around you knows what they are. That’s simply amazing. But then again, you always amaze me, man.

I laughed when you were preparing dinner on Tuesday and the doorbell rang. At your request, I answered. Your state senator was at the door, and it was obvious he needed something. But before he said anything, the first thing he did was greet me by name, then excuse himself. I’ve never seen a politician 1) remember the name of a visitor he’s never met; and 2) figure out quickly that with my visit, it wasn’t the time for a lengthy discussion. Man, you’ve educated him well. (Mom would be proud, as the Congressman she worked for wouldn’t have done that!) You just handed him an envelope and said, “talk to you later” and that was that. Simple. I like that.

I won’t forget the looks on our family’s faces on Wednesday evening when we went to our nephew’s event to recognize his recently-awarded M.D. You got me to wear my leather pants and you wore yours. I think we were the coolest dudes in the place. I have to admit, I was a little self-conscious, but The Wife encouraged me to wear those leather pants to this big function. They looked great with the jacket & tie I was wearing (though I couldn’t get you into a tie for the life of me.)

You seem to have natural grace. Not necessarily in how you walk or move, but how you function. I’d say that you take each minute of every day and flow from one thing to the next. You don’t get rattled. You accept change — no, I would say that you “embrace” change — quickly, and with an even temperament that sets a great example for the rest of us. We should learn your secret, though you swear it is no secret; you just naturally and gracefully move on from task to task, person to person, thing to thing, or whatever. Again, amazing.

I am also glad that The Wife and your partner spent quality time together. They seem to hit it off well. Your partner is so well-read, and so interesting to talk to. You have a tremendous man in your chosen mate and I am delighted to be part of your lives.

Brother, just being with you restores my soul. I cherish you, and am blessed to have you as my own. My twin. My soulmate from our early life, and my best friend. How fortunate I am.

In closing, I will borrow one of your lines: life is short… show those you love that you love them. Love you, bro’! Sempre!

Guest Blog: Straight Guy and Leather Gear, Pt. 3

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This is the third and final post in this Guest Blog series which I invited to be written by a friend. If you missed it, read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

–BHD

My Perspective on Wearing Leather

BHD has given me some questions to help guide me along — an interview of sorts — I will attempt to answer coherently:

1. What is it about wearing leather that you like?

I like the way it looks. I like the confidence it represents. I like the way people react to it. It makes me feel good. Much better than a suit or a good pair of jeans. Wearing leather gives the impression that I don’t completely conform to everybody’s whims, and if you choose to enter into a relationship with me — whether it be business or friendship — you should not expect me to go along with how the mainstream may do things. The mainstream is more becoming screwed up!

People are more and more just becoming “Look At Me” copy-cat automatons incapable of independent thought.

2. What do you think about having an interest in leather and not having an interest in men?

I admit I think some guys look good in leather, but it stops there. Some guys look great in a good suit or a pair of jeans. It is possible to admire something without wanting to hump it. Takes some practice but it is accomplishable. Its called self control! Our society has too little of it these days. Is it possible to say, “that is a good looking guy” and not be gay? Yes.

Completely. And I am not deluding myself. I think leather is a wonderful material — supplied by God — I love wearing it and the way it looks. I have gained confidence since I realized that. Maybe psychiatrists should try making patients with low self esteem wear leather out in public. Hey, maybe I’m onto something: “Leather Therapy” LOL!

As I explained previously when I wear leather I feel confident. I like the way it wears. It is strong. It can be rejuvenated. All I have to do is imagine what I would loose should I ever indulge and my thoughts go another direction. There is a difference between lust and love. Lust happens all of the time. Its human nature!

We lust after people, food, and things. It is completely possible to control lust and keep it where it belongs just as it is completely possible for me to not eat half of a pecan pie in one sitting, much as I’d like to. Look: I have kids who depend on me, a wife who depends on me. Would I destroy or at least severely change their lives for a selfish indulgence? Sure it will make me feel physically great for a fleeting moment but it will destroy three other lives in the process.

So how do I get what I want? I don’t always get what I want. That’s what is wrong with society. Everybody is trying to get what they want and nobody is thinking about the lives they are impacting in the process. In the case of leather I just have honest conversations with my wife and it all seems to work out. Right now I want to get my ear pierced. She ain’t down with that. We’ll work on it. How many guys do you know who’s wife lets them wear leather to church? Mine does. She says I look sexy.

If communication is what it should be in bed then your sexual needs should be satisfied! I love my wife. I am not attracted in a loving way to other men, wearing leather or not. I use lust to make creative energy. Works for me!

3. Do you think hanging out with gay guys may possibly cause others to raise questions in their mind about you? How do you feel about that?

Yes, in fact I am a little surprised this didn’t come to the top of the pile right off. I’m always telling my son, “Son, you are who you hang with.” I’m not gay. I have known a couple of gay men through work. One of them was extremely insecure, and the other one was pretty confident. In fact, Rick, the confident guy was a lot of fun to be around. He wasn’t constantly second-guessing himself. If he had not told me he was gay I probably would not have known. Being Gay wasn’t the subject of *everything* that came out of his mouth, unlike the other guy. I found the insecure one very embarrassing. I would not want my sexuality questioned.

I think you can wear leather without people thinking you are gay. I have come across many many many masculine men in leather with their wife at their arm. They appeared to be happy. Probably because they weren’t sitting in a cubicle in some non-descript business but rather out enjoying their Harleys. After penning this out I will probably not find myself hanging out in a gay bar. Biker bar maybe, but not a gay bar.

So, if I may borrow the closing style of the great Blogger BHD: “If you like wearing leather, whatever the reason, wear it.”

The Good Book says, “What is life, it is even a vapor that appears for a short time and then vanishes.” Before you know it you’ll be 80 wondering why you never wore the leather you liked so much. Wear your leather. Enjoy your life!”

Note from BHD: I truly appreciate the thought and energy that my friend put into writing this series of blog posts. He said, in a way, it was cathartic for him to express himself this way. I sure learned a lot. If you wish to write a message to send to him, write to me and I will forward it to him.

I hope you enjoyed this series. I hope to have other invited blog posts from other guys on occasion.

And remember: life is indeed short! Get out there and embrace your passion!

Guest Blog: Straight Guy and Leather Gear, Pt. 2

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This is part two of a series. If you missed Part I, read it here. Enjoy!

–BHD

Embracing My Passion

I took a credit card and bought several thousands of dollars worth of equipment and leather hides. As a teen I did some tooling and I liked it. My dad is a very talented carpenter and I think some of his creativeness may have made its way into my make up.

The more I work with leather as a medium, the more I feel satisfied that I have found something that can be my true area of expertise. People would come to me with their leather-making needs.

I like the bald-guy leather look. Time to remake myself into what I actually feel and not what I think will appease other people. As far as Jesus, I think we have him figured out all wrong. Read your Bible! There is so much we ignore in favor of “church” which is not Jesus. Time to get some leather pants.

They were hot and they were too big so I ordered a smaller pair. They were three sizes smaller than what the tag said. I took pictures using a tape measure and sent them back. I got a third pair; they had a saggy butt. I ordered a fourth pair with side lacing; slightly too big but manageable. I wore them.

After wearing the side-lace pants for a week every day in the middle of winter I decided I really liked them! I wore them out … to Walmart … to eat … to a school function. I was afraid of embarrassing my 14 year-old son. He thought it was cool.

Some of the parents gave me weird looks. They were secretly jealous that they didn’t have the kahoonas to wear leather out in public aside from riding a bike.

I bought a leather vest. Three of them actually. One was too big. One was really flimsy. It looked hot on the guy modeling it but it was made really cheaply and I doubt it would have held up very long had I kept it in service. The third was just right. Great lining .. Looked good. It’s the one I wear every day and in pictures.

Next were the wrist cuffs. I have made myself ten or so that I really like. People look at me either with an admiring look or like I am a fetishist. Again, it’s my life!

Now for the big conundrum. How can I mix with other guys who enjoy leather for the purpose of promoting my products without being involved in the homosexual side? In my experience, which is very limited, most guys into leather are gay. I am not. I am happily married 23 years to my wife. We have two great kids (14 year old boy and 21 year old daughter, who is about to get married). While I think some men look really good in leather, it stops there. I would never indulge myself at the risk of destroying what I have with my wife and my family. She is too much a part of me.

We are entering this new stage of our lives together. She is very feminine but I manage to sneak some leather on her in the form of bracelets and cuffs and she really likes them.

Check back tomorrow for Part 3: My Perspective on Wearing Leather.