Monthly Archives: September 2009

Last Ride of Summer

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I led the longest ride I have ever led yet, over 330 miles (530km) yesterday. Of course, that included getting lost and arriving at our destination via a “very scenic” route. Nonetheless, it was an absolutely stunning day, with bright sunshine and clear blue skies, with very pleasant temperatures — just perfect for a long motorcycle ride. My Harley rides so comfortably, I did not get sore nor was I wrung out when I got home with over 100 digital photos and video that I took. Hmmm… what could that be about? After I process all of them, I will announce it on my website, but please be patient.

I was looking at a lot of these:


While admiring the expert motorcycle riding skills of a lot of these:


and took this video while I was at it:


Consistent with my “don’t be specific about where and when” policy, I will not say the name of this event here on this blog, else it might attract people looking for that event using Google or other search engines. There are some people who have not understood this gay man’s blog, so I choose to be circumspect. Meanwhile, enjoy the views — I sure did! Woofity-woof!

By the way, I only refer to the ride yesterday as my “last ride of summer” because autumn begins on September 22, and I will not be leading or going on a ride until after autumn starts. But no worries, autumn is a great time to ride, and I intend to do that when I can!

Commenting Policy

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UPDATE: The content below was updated in February and September, 2010. Here are the changes, in brief:

1. I will accept anonymous comments if the content of the message contributes to the quality of a post.

2. I will delete any comment that has an embedded link to a commercial company. I do not allow other people to endorse products or services on MY blog.

The rest of my commenting policy remains as previously written:

——————————————–

I do not allow anonymous comments on this blog. Anyone who wants to post a comment may sign in using his or her google or blogger account, or use the “anonymous” option to submit a comment, but he or she must give a name or screen handle, and be consistent about it.

What’s the problem with anonymous comments?

1. Civility. Anonymous comments encourage nasty snark-fests of the worst kind. People write comments behind a computer screen which they would never make if they had to sign their name. It’s one of the worst aspects of the internet and helps destroy the potential of this medium for communication. It can also have a chilling effect on people who want to engage but would like to disagree agreeably. While some blogs enjoy controversy generated by flame wars as it attracts readers, I do not have an interest in doing that.

2. Responsibility. If you’re going to write something, you should own it.

3. Negativity. This goes along with civility. Some people write nasty things behind the screen of anonymity that reveals much about their lack of quality of character and integrity. I will not abide negativity related to sexual orientation, race, religion, ethnicity, sex, gender identity, or that expresses intolerance.

If you wish to comment on any post on this blog, feel free. Sign in with your google identity OR use the anonymous option but include your name or screen name.

I will review all comments and decide if they will be published or not. For example, you may refer to me by “Booted Harleydude” or its short-form, “BHD”, but not by another name. References to me by another name get deleted because I separate my blogger identity from my personal identity. That is not the same thing as anonymity, because my blogger and website identities are the same and have been for over a decade.

Also, I will delete any comment that includes and embedded link to a commercial enterprise. I do not allow other people to try to endorse products or services through MY blog. If you want to do that, write your own blog.

Ultimately, my blog is an expression of my personal opinions. If you do not like my opinions, say so and own your remarks, or surf elsewhere.

Acknowledgment: some of the language used above is from the anonymous commenting policy of a blog written by a friend. Used with permission.

Where I’d Rather Be

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I admit it, there are some days when I wake up and say to myself, “oh gee, same routine … go to work, work-work-work, come home, fix dinner for my partner and me, go to a meeting, get back by 9, go to bed, … rinse, lather, repeat.”

There are some days when I would rather not continue with the same routine. Don’t get me wrong; I love my life and enjoy what I do for a living. But after a while, the routine gets awfully boring, repetitious, and well — so “routine!”

Pictured above from a photo captured from the ‘net somewhere, is where I imagine that I’d rather be, in boots and leather, riding off into the wind down a deserted road — perhaps in the desert such as shown in this photo, on my way to see my best friend and my brother who live in Arizona. (Hmmm, come to think about it, business brings me to Phoenix next week. Can’t wait! Unfortunately, I won’t be renting a Harley this visit.)

Anyway, thanks for sharing this diversion of a daydream with me. Don’t you have days like this? You’d rather be anywhere than where you are?

Life is short: enjoy what you have, yet continue to dream.

The Light in the Dome

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Last night, I went to a reception where an award was presented to a dear friend of mine. The reception was held in a building on the U.S. Capitol grounds. I was so happy for my friend who certainly deserved the award she was presented by a well-recognized national organization and before several Members of Congress.

It was a pleasant evening. After the reception was over and award presented, I decided to walk to the Metro station at Union Station to go home. As I walked by the U.S. Capitol Building, I noticed that the light was on in the rotunda. That is a signal that Congress is still in session.

It never ceases to amaze me — I pinch myself sometimes — here I am, walking down the streets of the capital of the free world, right past the building where important legislation is debated. Regardless of one’s political beliefs, it still is quite special to think about the work that goes on there and its affect on our country and the world.

This is where I work, and live in the suburbs nearby. What a very special place, this city which serves as our nation’s capital.

[Sorry the photos are a bit fuzzy. There’s only so much you can do with a camera in a Blackberry.]

Life is short: appreciate your surroundings

How Does a Typical Group Motorcycle Ride Work?

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Sometimes I talk about group motorcycle rides on this blog. They’re enjoyable and fun when managed well. Let me explain how a typical group motorcycle ride works.

Each ride is led by a person who fills a position titled “road captain.” In serious, safety-oriented motorcycle clubs, the road captain will plan a route for a ride well in advance, including pre-riding the route to note any potential road hazards, difficult turns, narrow roads, etc.

The club will announce the ride in advance, so others can see that it is coming up and decide if he/she wants to go. But in all honesty, most people make the “go-no-go” decision on the morning of the ride, since (obviously) motorcycle riding is a weather-dependent activity. One does not have to register in advance — riders just show up. The number of riders can vary from a handful to over 50, depending on a number of variables (weather, competing choices, duty to family and home, etc.)

One club with which I once rode announces rides via email only one or two days before a ride. Due to the poor announcement timing, I have not been able to ride with them in years. (That group operates on “gay time.” If you don’t know what that means, don’t ask.)

On the day of the ride, the road captain shows up at the designated location from which the ride will depart at least a half-hour early. He or she greets and welcomes all riders. At the designated start time, the road captain will gather those who have assembled and go over group riding procedures and describe the route, noting anything he/she learned about the route during the pre-ride. A well-prepared road captain will provide a “ride sheet” which details information about the ride route in writing, noting turns and distance of each leg of the trip.

The road captain often designates another road captain to be a sweep rider. This person rides in the very back of the group. His/her responsibility is to follow and stop with anyone who may have to pull over due to a mechanical difficulty, or help if there is a crash.

The leading road captain will take the front left position and assemble the group, two-by-two, behind her/him. Once everyone is assembled, the ride takes off.

We ride at the posted speed limit in a staggered formation (not two-by-two). Not all riders have the same skills, and some feel very uncomfortable if the ride goes too fast or the group falls apart. The road captain will use hand and turn signals to pass information back to the rest of the riders about upcoming turns, stops, or road hazards such as railroad tracks, potholes, road kill, etc. He or she may stop along the way to allow the group to catch up if they got divided at a turn or stoplight.

Usually group rides are to a destination such as a restaurant. As they say, “live to ride, ride to eat” (smile.) We have an enjoyable meal together, then saddle up and make our return. Sometimes people choose to return on their own, and some ride together. The return is often by a different route, and gets back to the general area where the ride started. But by then, most people turn off and make their way home, wherever that may be.

The road captain will turn in a report to the club, noting the number of riders, and any notes about anything that may have happened on the ride.

And that’s it…. A well-organized and managed group ride will be well planned, announced well in advance, and will be able to accommodate riders of various skills and abilities. The overall theme of a group ride is to “ride and have fun,” and that’s what it’s all about.

I Should Learn My Own Lesson

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I have observed and mentioned before on this blog that a certain humongous search engine owns blogger, and therefore it almost instantaneously indexes blog content such that it comes up in searches almost immediately upon publication.

Such was what happened with a blog post that was formerly here on this date.

I should learn, in particular, not to post words or phrases that may be searched and then show this blog where what they were looking for is not really what I was writing about.

Unfortunately, at least two people, if not more, totally missed my point and accused me of missing theirs. This is not the forum for such “discussion.” I deleted that former blog post. I will remember to be more vague about certain things so that searches will not land someone on this blog who doesn’t understand the full context of the stream of thought about which I write, over time. My regular followers know what I’m talking about. My one-time visitors do not, and I regret any misunderstanding.

And remember, September 11, 2001, is a date, not a number.

/ bhd 9/16

Mentor

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Here’s a photo of me with a woman who took me under her wing back in the 70s, and taught me everything she knew about working as a volunteer leader in a major non-profit organization.

She always was kind and thoughtful, and has a sense of humor that kept me rolling. Thorough and precise in her work, she taught me where to look for information and how to help clients in a genuine and case-specific manner. I was amazed at how quickly she could cut through the b/s and find the answers to challenging questions, and come up with creative resolutions to many situations.

We became fast friends, and served together on the Board of Directors of this organization for about 15 years. As friends, she and I went hot air ballooning, where upon a bad landing she broke her leg but said that she loved the experience. She watched me skydive often, and had she not had a doctor tell her that she couldn’t go with me, I think she would have.

What we didn’t tell the doc about was the number of times that she got on the back of my Harley and went for a (short) ride. We always laugh about that. When I accompany her somewhere, which nowadays is pretty much reserved to the dining room in her retirement home, her friends always ask, “is he the guy who took you on his Harley?” In boots and leather, I smile back and say, “yep, that’s me. Do you want a ride?” The aghast reaction is amusing to watch, especially when my mentor says, “you ought to try it — he doesn’t drop people off the back any more.” (giggle)

My partner and I spent a wonderful day this past Saturday visiting my friend, my mentor. He adores her and I enjoy watching the two of them interact, laugh, and smile.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Kindnesses

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Today I write about kindnesses that I have observed and that have been extended to me, to others, to those I love, and to perfect strangers. Humanity is a strange and complex thing. When it is extended to others for no reason other than to be kind, gentle, thoughtful and caring, it warms my heart deep down to my soul. Today I point out a few people whose kindnesses are observed, valued, and appreciated:

My partner, the love of my life. Each day, I observe what he does to make my life easier. He carries out lots of actions at home “behind the scenes” to free up my time so I can carry on the crazy-busy life that I lead. He is my cheerleader and champion. When I came home the other day a bit dejected about an issue at work, he listened. Then he gave me support by describing my skills that I can engage to overcome this challenge. He demonstrated how much he believes in me. How blessed I am to have him as my best half.

My best friend, AZ, has been pulled many different directions in the past month, what with buying a home, yet caring for two dear friends who were hospitalized and needed attention which he freely gave without equivocation. Further, a close mutual friend has been going through a very rough time. AZ has expressed in thought, word, and deed how compassionate, thoughtful, and caring he is. It is no wonder why I adore him so much, as my adopted eighth brother.

Mrs. K, one of my “elder buds,” who learned from me that my aunt needed to get exercise every day. Without asking, Mrs. K shows up at my aunt’s door and says, “let’s take a walk.” Gently, carefully, and slowly, they stroll around the neighborhood. They stop to observe baby fawns, families of geese parading their young, and squirrels playing in the trees. To hear my aunt describe what she sees is wonderful. What a kind, sweet, thoughtful daily gesture that my friend, Mrs. K, extends to my aunt because Mrs. K likes me. She never knew my aunt until a month ago, and now they’re fast friends. What a joy, what sheer delight, in receiving this help for someone who I love dearly.

Man on Metro. I do not know this gentleman’s name, but I see him regularly on my ride home from the office. Without fail, he assists people — lost tourists trying to figure out the confusing Metro map and system, older or disabled people who need a seat, or just picking up discarded newspapers. He demonstrates thoughtfulness in all he does. He thinks no one notices. I do. He sets a great example for me.

G, the grocery store associate. She greets us by name every time we go to the store when she is there. She mentions good buys to consider. She is joyful, friendly, and such a happy person that you can’t help but smile. She puts up with a lot of grief from the me-me-me people who go to the store and complain about stupid stuff, yet always, she demonstrates kindness in a thousand ways.

F, a mentee. I am working with her on a vexing local issue in my community. She listens exceptionally well, communicates with clear and concise understanding and grasp of difficult details, yet with humor and grace. While I am teaching her the finer points of community service and activism, she is teaching me about working with people who do not always “get it.” What a great team we have made. Oh, did I mention, I just love her smile, too.

O, a very hard working man in our community. He works from sun-up to sun-down seven days a week, earning a meager income to support his family both here where we live and in his home country. He never complains, and he always is working. Rain, sun, heat, cold, whatever… he is a true demonstration of what “work ethic” means. And he does all of his work with kindness and thoughtfulness to those for whom he provides service. As if they were his family. He teaches me that despite ignorant comments directed his way about his situation in life, that actions speak louder than words.

Kindness means a lot to me. I observe it in others, and try to emulate the good things I observe in what I do.

Life is short: be kind to others.

How has being a biker impacted your life?

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That’s a great question. A regular reader of this blog asked me this question, so I pondered it and I thought I would post a public response.

I guess I can say that being a biker has made my life more fun. It has given me a good reason to wear boots and leather often, and it has introduced me to some really great people who have become friends with whom I enjoy a shared passion. Riding a motorcycle is a heck of a lot more fun than driving a car. I go crazy cooped up in a cage (as bikers call cars.)

Before my partner became disabled, we rode together frequently, with him as my passenger. We loved riding two-up, and went to some interesting places. Riding together drew us closer so motorcycling impacted our lives by helping to build a strong bond built from having fun together.

Motorcycling has also brought sadness to me, when I witnessed a very close friend get killed by someone who was talking on a cell phone while driving and ran into him, killing him instantly, right before my eyes. That incident has made me very passionate about banning the use of cell phones while driving, which I advocate for before our spineless state General Assembly every year, and will continue to do so until the law passes.

That incident, plus training I have had over the years, has made me much more aware about what is going on around me. I am more vigilant not only when I am operating my Harley, but also when I am driving my truck, or just when I am out and about in general. I pretend that no one else can see me. I try to keep a lot of distance in front, in back, and on both sides of my vehicle. Then if another driver does something stupid, like turn in front of me, weave while yakking, or stop short, I have room around me in which to maneuver or take evasive action.

How has being a biker impacted my life? I do not really know any other ways in which it has. Being “a biker” is only one facet of a complex personality. Sure, I may arrive at a public hearing on my Harley, and I may dress a bit more casually than attorneys who are there in pin-striped suits and dress wingtip shoes and who arrive in their expensive luxury automobiles. But that is how I am anyway — I have often said that my twin brother got the “suit genes” and I got the “jeans genes.” Even if I did not learn how to ride a motorcycle and operate one for over three decades, I think I still would be wearing boots and jeans and shunning dress clothes anyway.

There are some people who apply stereotypes to bikers as they apply stereotypes to gay men. Some ill-informed, closed-minded people expect all bikers to be loud drunken savages who speak derogatorily about women and make boastful comments (positioning their masculinity.) Honestly, most “real” bikers — at least those with whom I hang out — are not like that at all. They are thoughtful, caring, concerned men and women who enjoy the same passion as I do — riding a motorcycle and having fun while doing so safely.

Yes, there are some bikers who behave in ways that fulfill the stereotype. There are gay men who behave in ways that fulfill a negative stereotype as well. We are all different. Some bikers ride with a helmet, boots, and appropriate gear all the time, even if not required by law. These are the responsible bikers who do not drink alcohol if they’re going to ride a bike. These are the bikers with whom I enjoy riding.

There are gay men who work hard, and contribute to society in a number of ways. They care for their families and friends, and help their communities by working as a civic leader (as I do), or serve in a publicly elected position (as I have.) Then there are some gay men who are irresponsible, and expose themselves to serious harm and risk. I won’t describe it — you can figure it out — and these are the gay guys who do not read this blog anyway.

What I am saying is that we are all different, and we as individuals are complex. We have multiple interests, talents, abilities, and approaches to life. Bikers can be gay men and gay men can be bikers, as the two are not mutually exclusive.

Pardon the tangent… how as being a biker impacted MY life? It has brought me fun; it has taught me to be more vigilant; it has helped me to demonstrate to others that the “biker lifestyle” and the “gay lifestyle” are not mutually exclusive.

Life is short: be who you are.

Memories

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I always take time on September 11 to remember my mother. I know, a lot of people remember this date for another reason, and I’ll get to that in a moment.

September 11 is the date on which my mother died. I blogged about it last year, so I will not repeat myself.

It’s been eleven years since the fateful date of her death. What’s happened since then? My partner and I settled into the house that I built, developed a stable, productive, and deep partnership together, and have led quality lives. We have had many fun and not-so-fun experiences, learned a lot, and each of us changed jobs once — moving on to better things for each of us. We have matured, grown, and have deepening respect for each other, and for others.

My Mom influenced me in many ways. She always told me to keep smiling, and keep plugging away because life is short — you only reap what you sew — so plant your roots deep and care for your family, your neighbors, your friends, and Mother Nature. That we do…. Thanks, Mom, for your continuing inspiration in my life, and for your love that endures beyond your physical presence on this Earth.

The media contrived “9/11” to refer to the U.S. attacks on that date. That media contrivance drives me absolutely bonkers, but the reference isn’t going to go away, no matter how wrong it is. (I remind you, FDR did not refer to “12/7” as a date which will live in infamy.)

Right after the U.S. attacks of September 11, 2001, I spent six months in New York City (on-and-off; not permanently) providing relief and working on a series of special projects. While I had visited NYC several times before that date, the ongoing exposure to the city in that “post-September 11” timeframe taught me many things. It taught me about the endurance and perseverance of humanity, and of New Yorkers. It taught me that people can rise to overcome many challenges. And it taught me that I really don’t like New York City.

My feelings have nothing to do with the people, as it has to do with long-term, ongoing memories that I would rather not think about. I have not returned to New York City since February, 2002, and have no intentions of going back. It just hurts too much. Plus, I am not a city boy. I do not like crowds, noise, late-night activities, and the expense. I am much more relaxed and comfortable in my simple suburban lifestyle, with my partner by my side, and enjoying the view of Maryland’s back roads and nearby areas from the saddle of my Harley. My needs are simple, and I much prefer quiet and peacefulness than noise, dust, dirt, and “busy-ness.” Not for me.

Mind you, nothing is wrong with New York City. Many, many people call it home, and many more visit every year. Great for them. It is a marvelous place. It’s just not for me nor my partner.

Life is short: remember those you love.