Yearly Archives: 2009

I Still Believe

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I wrote a post on this blog on December 24, 2008. Interestingly, it has been viewed more than 40 times in the last week. I do not know why, but for some reason, many visitors from Germany are looking this up.

I read and re-read what I wrote, and you know what? It is all still very true with what is in my heart, and what composes my soul:

  • I believe in service to others.
  • I believe in caring for my neighbor.
  • I believe in doing. Not just sitting and watching, but doing.
  • I believe in being patient until things happen, and nudge ’em along when needed.
  • I believe that a smile is the best gift to give to others.
  • I believe that life is full of surprises and without them, life would be awfully dull.
  • I believe in holding friends close, and family closer.
  • I believe in my partner, wholeheartedly, without reservation or equivocation.
  • I believe that joy comes to those who share joy.
  • I believe in Santa. Well, in his magic, his spirit, and his love.
  • And yeah, I believe in love. Love is the only thing you get back more of the more you give it away.
  • I believe that God loves all of us, including us gay guys as well as the homophobes. God loves all — it is religion that causes separatism and some people to display hatred, which is what God teaches us is a sin.

I believe and I act. How do you display your passions, concerns, and caring?

Life is short: believe in something and show you care.

Leo Ride Leader

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Today, August 16, is my birthday and one that I share with my twin, “J,” who is visiting with me this week. Photo shown here was created by my buddy, David (Bamaboy), who is a real whiz with Photoshop. He has a great sense of humor, and has become a terrific friend. Thanks, man! J and I laughed our heads off!

Yesterday, I took J to pick up a Harley rental, but right after that, he needed to catch up on sleep since he was jet lagged from his long flight from Europe. While he was napping, I did a “pre-ride” with a buddy of a ride I led today. More on that below.

When I got back, my brother “abducted me” for a “let’s get lost” ride. We rode about 100 miles through Southern Maryland and ended up at another brother’s home, located on Maryland’s Chesapeake Bay. My partner was waiting there for us. This all had been arranged in secret, though I figured something was going on.

My brother invited a lot of the family over. We enjoyed a good old fashioned Maryland crab feast, with all the trimmings. We had a great time. I just love my family. Even my partner — the “less social” of our twosome — said that he really enjoyed it.

Today, I led a ride for my club. Each ride gets a title, and this one was simply, “My Birthday Ride.” Our destination was a frozen custard place that was far enough away that we would enjoy a nice ride through Maryland’s countryside to get there, but not take all day. I appreciated that an off-duty bike cop rode in the wing position, as he had a CB radio (I do not). He was able to talk to our sweep rider so we could get the group back together when we got separated in traffic in a couple places along the route.

My fellow club buddies were great to ride with, and all said they enjoyed the ride. Probably so, because of three things: 1) I did not miss a turn; 2) I did not ride through a water hazard nor ford a stream (LOL!); and it was just a great day for riding — sunny and warm, but not unpleasant.

I connected a motorcycle video recorder with the pencil camera pointing backwards from my bike. This shows what it’s like to lead the pack. Leading the pack is something that us leos are known to do.

Life is short: get out and enjoy it!


Rapito

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Guest blog

Io ho rapito mio fratello. Io lo porto via lui per il nostro compleanno. Lui scriverà dirgli quello che noi facevamo quando lui ritorna. O, se lui ritorna.

J (BHD’s twin brother)

BHD sez:

This is the only abduction ‘scene’ I can get into! I’ll see ya’ in a few days when our birthday celebrations are over!

Thousand Things To See Before I Die

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Have you heard that expression, “the thousand things to see before you die?” The challenge is to make a list of 1,000 things you really want to see before you die (and that website list is a great place to start).

I think about that challenge frequently, and I have made such a list (though I can’t say it has 1,000 items on it.) I am pleased that I have seen many of the items on my list, but have many more to do.

What I want to see sometime

  • Machu Picchu, Peru
  • The Galapagos Islands, Ecuador
  • Antarctica
  • The Calgary Stampede (with Clay as a guide)
  • Harley “cruise” through the Maritime Provinces of Canada
  • Dore Alley Fair in San Francisco

Some grand locations I have seen already (outside the U.S.)

  • Great Wall of China
  • Forbidden City
  • Hong Kong and Macau
  • Tokyo to Kobe via the JR Tokaido Shinkansen (bullet train)
  • The Louvre
  • The Vatican and the Pope (John Paul II)
  • The Colosseum and Roman Forum
  • Leaning Tower of Pisa
  • Uffizi Museo e l’Accedemia (where David is) in Fierenze
  • Torri di Bologna
  • St. Anthony’s Basilica in Padova (Padua, where I went to school)
  • Venice and her canals
  • Pompeii and Mt. Etna
  • Portofino e Almafi Coast via Ducati motorcycle
  • The Romantic Road through Bavaria via BMW motorcycle
  • The Parthenon and the Acropolis
  • Delphi and the Greek Islands in the Med
  • The Danube via cruise from Austria to Romania
  • Transylvania, Romania
  • Pyramids of Egypt
  • Jerusalem (and Israel)
  • The Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia in Turkey
  • The Kremlin and Red Square
  • St. Petersburg and The Hermitage
  • Stonehenge
  • Ireland via Harley
  • Uluru (Ayers Rock) via “The Ghan” (train) in Outback Australia
  • Great Barrier Reef (Eastern Australia)
  • The Great Ocean Road via Harley (southern Australia)
  • North to South Islands of New Zealand via Harley and ferry
  • The Taj Mahal
  • Serengeti migration
  • Victoria Falls
  • The North Pole
  • Each province of Canada
  • Most of Mexico, Central America, and South America
  • All countries of Europe, including Albania

I have been richly blessed to have had a father who wanted his kids to see their own country, and brought us to each state on summer holiday while we were growing up. Subsequently, business travel with a former employer brought me to each state of the fifty United States (many, many times), and each territory and possession: Guam, American Samoa, Federated States of Micronesia, Palau, Marshall Islands, CNMI (Saipan, Tinian, Rota), Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, and even the Panama Canal Zone when it was held by the U.S.

Frequent flyer miles earned from all this travel brought my partner and me to a number of other places listed above, including many places in Europe, Asia, and the South Pacific. Of course, that was back when my partner could travel.

What were my favorites? I enjoyed them all; each has a great story to tell and richness of history. Where would I return? Probably Italy, as I speak the language, love the people, and know there is much more to see. Also I long to return to Australia, where we own property and have many friends.

There are a thousand more things I want to see, yet haven’t figured out if I will, or if my interests have changed and I am no longer interested, or if I can or am willing to afford the travel, or if my partner will (ever) travel again.

What’s on your list?

When Am I Bootless?

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Someone asked me recently, “are you wearing your boots in that miserable summer heat that the DC area is known for?”

Um… yeah. Seriously, I don’t own any shoes. I have no other footwear. Whenever I walk outside, I always have boots on. I may change them more often if my feet get hot. I am not one of those guys who likes a sweaty feeling.

However, there ARE times when I don’t have boots on. Yep, I admit it, there are times when am barefooted. In the evening when I do not have to go outside any more, I may take my boots off, curl up on the couch next to my honey, and just relax.

There are some guys who have said that they sleep with their boots on sometimes. I never have been interested in trying to do that, much less actually do it. My feet need to breathe when I sleep.

There are times when I have been so exhausted that I have fallen asleep with boots on, only to have an uncomfortably warm feeling in my feet awaken me. Then I’ll kick my boots off and go back to sleep. I just can’t sleep through the night with boots on. And for me, I don’t have that type of interest in boots that I would want to do that, anyway. (There I go again … not fetish, not fashion: boots to me are practical, functional, footwear. That’s all.)

Seldom am I bootless, but there are times when I am. When it is hot as blazes outside, and I am cool and comfy inside, I may not wear a thing at all… except if you label it a “birthday suit” (wink).

Life is short: wear your boots!

Public Speaking

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I really enjoy public speaking. For many years, I was on the “rubber chicken circuit,” traveling to conferences and meetings to present information and teach courses — many of which I wrote. I used to travel to more than 100 conferences and events annually (mostly in the U.S.) The travel was grueling and exhausting. However, I enjoyed seeing the people I was there to meet, and getting a chance to see the sights of whatever town I was in. (N.B., I do not travel nearly as much any more, much to my relief.)

Yesterday, I presented at a conference held in the DC area. It was fun seeing a number of people who I had known and worked with for many years. (I didn’t see my old boss, though several people asked me if I did.)

Over 100 people attended my session. I was quite energized and definitely “up” for the occasion.

In order to speak confidently without a script, I did what I had learned from experience. The night before, I reviewed my presentation, tweaked it a little bit, and then rehearsed it in front of my partner. He is a great “speaker critic” and gave me some pointers about some things I could explain better. He has heard it all before and knows the content almost as well as I do. I love having him as my audience. He “pulls no punches” and tells me both the good and the bad (or shall I say, what could be better.)

I like to circulate in front of the audience and not refer to notes. I keep the pace moving, quickly delivering my messages and giving anecdotes to which the audience can relate. I was definitely on “a high” from doing what, to me, is fun.

How was I dressed? Considering that the audience was dressed casually, I wore a shirt and tie, khakis, and debated about the boots. I first put on my Tony Lama “red brown” cowboy boots. Then I remembered that I was going ride my Harley to the Metro, and wanted to have boots on that would give me good traction just in case it rained. Afternoon storms were predicted. Smooth-soled cowboy boots wouldn’t work.

So I put on my tall Chippewa Hi-Shine Engineer Boots (to which I had big lug soles applied), which to me looked good with the outfit. Nice and shiny. No one said anything about the boots, and I don’t think anyone even noticed. Photo here shows me at my local Metro station on my bike where I park it.

Back to work today to the usual routine. I enjoyed the experience of public speaking, and hope to do it again soon.

Life is short: rise to the occasion and have fun!

Living Well is the Best Revenge

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English clergyman George Herbert is credited for coining this phrase. I decided to use that phrase for this blog post which is about some observations on my past life and former employer, and why that phrase came to mind as I am attending a major national conference this week. In fact, I am scheduled to make a presentation during the conference today.

The attendees of this conference, exhibitors, and fellow speakers are from the “small world” of my profession. When I got out at the closest Metro station to the hotel where the conference is being held, I walked to the curb to wait for a shuttle bus. Standing there was a long-time colleague from a large federal agency with which I worked closely for over 25 years. She gave me a hug, and was truly delighted to see me (and me too, in return).

When I walked into the hotel, the Executive Director of the professional association sponsoring the conference greeted me, gave me a big hug, and bought me a Coke. She is always so nice, and we have truly appreciated a deep friendship in addition to a professional relationship.

Dozens of people greeted me, shook my hand, and each and every one said that they were planning on attending my presentation today. No pressure….

I met with people and attended sessions at the conference, and enjoyed being “back in my element.” As I was leaving for the day, though, I saw the person who was my last boss at my former employer. I did not speak with her, but just seeing her made my stomach turn.

I got to thinking: when I left my former employer, my former boss did as much as she could to make my life miserable. She attempted to turn former colleagues who I once thought were friends against me. She did not lie (as far as I can tell), but did not refute rumors and innuendo about why I left. She engaged in a paranoid campaign to destroy any evidence of my twenty years of professional contributions.

I think she would have been happy if my life had fallen apart after leaving that job. Heck, she tried to make that happen.

If I were a vengeful person, I could have done a number of things in return for such treatment. Instead, however, I steeled my resolve. I concentrated on caring for my uncle through the winter of his life. I leaned on and received support from my partner and my family.

Being the saver that I am, I had enough financial resources that even without doing consulting during that period, I could have survived just fine. Then I got a job, got promoted, and am continuing to do quite well now. Sure, I had a pile of doggy-doo hurled at me, but I fended it off and rose above the fray.

While at the conference, I heard some awful stories about my former employer and some relationships that some of its representatives significantly damaged within the last month. I am very saddened to hear that. Unfortunately, incompetence reigns. That was the main reason why I left: the Peter Principle (people rise to their level of incompetence) definitely applied.

It was way past time to move on when I did, and I sure am glad I did so. I am living well because I have a wonderfully supportive partner, a loving and caring family, truly terrific friends, and I just love life! I have a great home, an embracing community, and feel that my contributions in the variety of things that I do are appreciated. It’s true: living well is the best revenge. When I see my former boss at the conference today, I will flash her the biggest smile of all. It will be sorta my way of saying, “nah-nee-nah-nee-hoo-hoo.”

Life is short: live it well.

Posted in Job

Why Not Sturgis?

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[I am second from the right in this photo taken in front of Devil’s Tower, Wyoming in August, 1995. My partner took the picture].

A few friends have asked me, “why didn’t you go to Sturgis this year?” Sturgis is a general reference to the largest motorcycle rally held in the United States. The epicenter of the rally is a small town: Sturgis, South Dakota, USA, which becomes a thriving throng of hundreds of thousands of bikers during the first week of August each year. The 69th Anniversary Sturgis Rally & Races was held August 3 – 9, 2009.

I had heard about this big rally for many years, and convinced my partner to go to it with me in 1995, two-up on my Dyna Low Rider. I shipped my Harley to Denver, then my partner and I flew out and met it there. We spent a beautiful week getting to South Dakota via the Rocky Mountains and Wyoming, staying a night or two in various towns along the way. Riding two-up with all of our gear on a cruiser was not something taken lightly, nor provided for riding more than a couple hundred miles each day.

We stayed in a “dive” of a hotel in Rapid City, which we had arranged a year in advance. Oh well, it provided our own private bath, air conditioning, and a bed without bed bugs. We are not the types of guys who would enjoy camping with a bunch of rowdy drunken bikers, so we avoided the camp grounds. (That’s where a lot of the visitors stay.)

For the five days we were in the Sturgis area, we rode back roads and byways that provided for fascinating scenery via two wheels. Riding right up to Mt. Rushmore was a thrill. We saw Devil’s Tower, Wyoming, Lead and Wall, South Dakota, and the badlands. We were among the few “weirdos” who actually went to bed early so we could get up early, have breakfast, then mount our ride and ride … and ride… and ride (I put over 2,500 miles on my bike during that trip!) Many others did not seem to awaken until after noon ’cause they stayed up half the night partying.

We visited the mega-destination of Sturgis, itself, three times during the rally. It was quite a scene, with literally tens of thousand bikes parked everywhere. Vendors of anything biker-related were ubiquitous. My partner bought me my “Skyrider Vest” while I was there. But besides a few t-shirts and small items, we didn’t get much. We didn’t have room to pack it! We did not go to any of the other events held during the rally, such as races (I’m not interested in motorcycle racing), nor parties that were more oriented to straight bikers (women’s boobs and such…).

What I noticed most was the noise. Man, it was just LOUD all the time. We couldn’t hear ourselves talk. Of our three visits to Sturgis itself, my ears rang and I started getting bad headaches. Some thought I was hung over — but since I don’t drink alcohol, that wasn’t the problem. I bought some ear plugs that helped somewhat. But my ears rang and head ached all week. My partner had the same problems.

What we enjoyed most was the scenery. There’s nothing quite like riding highways with thousands of other bikers around, and hardly any four-wheeled vehicles. Pity the poor family on vacation driving a recreational vehicle through the area, not knowing the rally was going on. I betcha they thought all those bikes were like gnats buzzing by, going 85mph when they were only going 50.

During this visit, I explored riding without a helmet. There is no mandatory helmet law in South Dakota or Wyoming. I bought some really good eye protection (sort of like goggles) and we rode for about a half-hour helmetless. Then we decided that: 1) the noise of the blowing wind was really bad; 2) we learned what “bugs in the teeth were;” and 3) we felt very uncomfortable. We pulled over and put our full-face helmets back on and were much more comfortable. I have never ridden without a helmet since then.

Why not go back? Well… it is far away and getting there takes a lot of planning. Either ride all the way and bust one’s butt doing so, or ship the bike and be without it for a month before and a month after the event. It is over 1,600 miles (2,575km) one-way from where we live. Limiting our daily travel to no more than 300 miles/day (my limit), it would take more than five days to get there (provided we don’t stop and see something along the way) and equally as long to get back, not to mention the time actually there. I just don’t have that amount of leave to take from work. Plus, my partner can not ride with me any more, and going alone is not an option. Some guys in my club have ridden out there, but they like to ride longer distances per day that I do, so it wouldn’t work for me to go with them.

Plus, I hate to say it, but as I get older, events like that are not as interesting to me any more. The noise is the strongest deterrent. Then being around all those people … really, not something I want to do again. I would love to ride those roads again, and see things I did not have the chance to see before. However, I do not think I will. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and the vest.)

Life is short: realize your dreams when you’re young — life has a funny habit of changing your priorities and interests as you age.

Reprioritizing Finances

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My partner and I only buy what we have money for, and do not spend what we don’t have. We are loathe to take loans. The only loan we have is a small first mortgage on our primary residence, which will be paid off in a few years. We have no car or motorcycle payments … nada … we believe in paying as we go and saving for long-term goals. We are both products of parents who lived through the Great Depression, and their frugal approach to household finances rubbed off on both of us.

The other day, my partner and I sat down to review our finances. We had been considering having a major renovation of our kitchen done this summer. However, we had to do a major “re-do” of our upstairs hallway and bedroom flooring which became a priority since my partner accidentally ruined the carpet by carrying a leaky bottle of drain cleaner from one end of the house to the other, ruining the carpet unintentionally as he went. (Here is the final outcome of the new hallway and bedroom hardwood flooring).

Meanwhile, we continued with planning to replace kitchen countertops, flooring, and appliances, and had done a fair amount of shopping and price comparisons for this work. The problem is that when I built our house, I built an unusually large chef’s kitchen — it’s 20′ x 30′ (6.1m x 9.1m) — and thus it requires much more flooring and countertops than an average kitchen would.

When we computed what it would cost to have this work done, with and without labor, we realized that we have more saving to do before we can afford what we want. We’re not quite there yet. Sure, we could take out a loan and have it done now, but what we have is still functional, and we can live with it for a year or two more. We may replace the old refrigerator sooner than later as it is about to break down (and we can take advantage of the energy-saving appliance purchase rebates available now), but that’s about it.

Further, I’ve decided that while a new Langlitz motorcycle jacket would be nice, I do not want to shell out US$700 for it. It is too pricey. The motorcycle jackets I wear now suit me fine. They will probably carry me through the rest of the years that I can ride. While I can drool over such a high-quality product, reality dictates that it would be a frivolous expense to buy new leathers when what I currently have serves the purpose.

It is time to reverse three months of negative cash flow and rebuild our reserves. Our joint reserve fund had gotten down to nine months, and we like to keep it at twelve. What I mean by that is that we keep a reserve fund that will keep the bills paid and household running if neither my partner nor I are able to work and experience a disruption in income. The reserve provides a good cushion to absorb unexpected expenses, like replacing the flooring and carpeting on our home’s second floor.

Life is short: save for a rainy day

The Downside of Natural Fertilization

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Yesterday, after attending the unveiling of a portrait of my close friend and mentor (an elected official who died in 2007), I returned home to work with my partner to paint our master bedroom ceiling. It wasn’t difficult, nor took a long time. I was a good boy: nary a complaint nor a whimper. We just got it done and hopefully, my partner will pronounce it completed after a closer inspection later this morning.

Then I got busy with work outside. I commented in May that we have about the greenest lawn in the neighborhood because we use compost as fertilizer. It is a bit more work to prepare the compost and spread it on the lawn. But it is well worth it, in both saving the environment from spreading more chemicals to the cost savings from not buying chemical fertilizer in the first place.

The only down-side is that the compost makes our sidewalk out front really dirty. It gets brown spots on it, and then an general “overwash” that makes it appear soil-brown. But think about it — what I am observing is what washes off the lawn after a hard rain. That could be chemicals. But it’s not.

Every now-and-then, I have to clean that gunk off the sidewalk. I pulled on my tall Bama-ized Wesco Harness Boots (which have a liking of things wet) and got to work using the powerwasher to clean the sidewalk.

It took a while, but was fun. The boots worked great and while the outer leather got a bit wet, my feet remained dry. Some neighbors who were walking to an illegal meeting down the street saw me and the boots, and just waved (or tried to act invisible, since they knew that I knew that their meeting was held in violation of state law).

After I was done, my partner and I relaxed for the remainder of the afternoon and evening. See, Tef: I can relax. It’s not all work 24/7!

Life is short: enjoy it, both at work and after!