Yearly Archives: 2008

Friday: ab ovo usque ad mala

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I’ve briefly mentioned my family in past blog posts, and today I’ll explain a little more. I’m the 14th of 15 kids; one mother, one father — very prolific gift of children. 12 of us are “Christmas Presents” since our birthdays are all from mid-August to mid-September. You can do the math (giggle).

Our parents loved us deeply, as we loved them. We had a wonderful upbringing, filled with love, family, good times, and great experiences. We got to see each and every state in our country from early-on. We were introduced to some very powerful people that my parents worked for or knew. I know I was very fortunate, as I read from others who explain that their family upbringings weren’t nearly as nice.

Both of my parents have died. Dad in the ’70s and Mom in 1998. But one thing they instilled deeply in us was a commitment to family. I observed how very close my father was to his huge family (actually larger than ours!), and I got to know that hundreds of people were actually related to me! I’ve got zillions of cousins with whom I remain in close contact.

As much as the kids (“us sibs”) may squabble sometimes, I affirm that blood is thicker than water. As some of my sisters- or brothers-in-law have made some comments over the years about my being gay and having a partner with whom I remain deeply in love — my blood siblings, regardless of their own personal opinion, always rise to my defense. Love prevails. Specifically, one sister “championed my cause” to help my mother grow to understand that I was gay, what it meant, and to accept my partner. Mom did that, and in the last year of her life, their bond was wonderful to observe building at each visit.

In memory of our parents and continuing through our devotion to each other, my siblings and I plan on “Friday Night Family Dinners.” These are (usually) casual affairs, hosted by one of the members of the family in their home, where we eat, talk, laugh, discuss everything under the sun, and continue our bonding. Not just my siblings, but their children, children’s children, spouses, and occasionally some of our cousins and close family friends. Not all of my siblings live in the area, but those of us who do usually make plans to participate in this Friday night ritual.

Tonight will be an especially fun night, as we’re going back to our family’s Italian roots, and having a meal ab ovo usque ad mala which in the Latin means “from eggs to apples” which was the traditional appetizers to dessert. We’re doin’ the same. Should be a lot of fun.

My sister the wine connoisseur will have various selections available. For me, I’ll have my water or ginger ale. Wish I could drink wine, but even a small amount makes me gravely sick. We will laugh, we will talk (sometimes too loudly), we will talk politics as we all plan to vote in the upcoming election, but most of all, we will actively display our love. What could be better?

Life is short: show those you love that you love them, each and every day.

PS: And it’s leather weather! Sheesh it’s gotten colder. Bet your sweet bippy that I’ll be in leather and boots tonight!

Who I am In Leather and Boots

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I have had a bit of dialogue with a close friend about my blog post about wearing tall boots and leather out in the community when I attend meetings, or just “around” as I go about my business.

This post is a follow-up to my post that I wrote yesterday. In that message, I was extolling my pride in the openness and tolerance of the community in which I was born, raised, live, and serve.

But actually, there’s more to it than that. Certainly, living in a community that accepts me for who I am, who I choose to love, and how I choose to express myself is important to me. But I have to go back and think — heck, I have worn boots since age 10, and leather as soon as I got a motorcycle when I was 20. I just loved to put on my first pair of leather chaps, vest or biker jacket, Frye harness boots, and ride to my destination (usually to classes at the University).

No one said a thing. I rode a motorcycle. I showed up in boots and leather. The two went together. Simple as that.

After graduation, beginning to work and getting involved — very involved — in community affairs, I continued to enjoy getting to where I needed to be on a motorcycle. Naturally, then, I continued to wear leather.

As I earned decent money and saved up some, I began to buy custom leather gear. It fit better, looked MUCH better, and performed well for how I use it (that is, for protection as I ride my bike, as well as for comfort and style). Custom leather pants, shirts, and boots were purchased over time.

So as I went out and about in my community, visited family, friends, or even appeared at public hearings and countless community meetings, there I would be, in boots and leather.

This explains, then, why it’s not really an “issue” when I show up at community meetings, family events, or at the shopping center in boots and leather. Nobody says a thing. I need not worry about someone making a “Village People” wisecrack because boots and (most often times) leather is what people expect to see me wearing. Heck, I truly feel that some of the leaders in our community and my neighbors, family, and friends would faint if I showed up in a suit. Or if I did (show up in a suit), that is indeed when I might expect to hear a wisecrack of some sort. (What, you’ve become a lobbyist now?) I can just hear it.

My thinking today is a little different from yesterday in the sense that if people had not previously seen you in leather before and then you appear in something that, to them, is a rather dramatic departure from the expected norm, then it’s likely someone will say something.

In my case, leather and boots are what I usually wear. It’s just who I am. But if wearing this gear is not common for you, and you wear it and someone says something to you, just expect reactions that may include comments that possibly could be perceived as being unkind. Instead of feeling self-conscious about it, prepare yourself with come-back phrases like: “cool, huh?” or “like my new duds?” or “I thought the boots were smokin’ hot!” … you get the picture. Express delight in your gear, and that will more likely win over negative noodles, or at least silence them.

Life is short: wear your boots and leather!

UPDATE, Thursday morning: here I am at work, in “business casual” street clothes and cowboy boots. I don’t always wear leather. It’s not acceptable in my office, but there’s a leather jacket hanging behind my door, boots on my feet, and chaps & gloves locked in the TourPak of the Harley that I wore on my ride to Metro. So “no”, leather is not worn “all” the time, but in my “off-time” when I’m runnin’ around my community, attending meetings, visiting family, helping friends and neighbors, then you’ll see me in leather jeans, perhaps a leather shirt and/or vest, and more often than not, tall biker boots. It’s just who I am.

Motorcycle Police Patrol Boots

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Over the years, I have learned a thing or two about motorcycle police patrol boots. These boots have been worn by officers on horseback and on motorcycles for more than a century.

I own more than a dozen pairs of tall, black police patrol boots. I have worn them for more than 20 years while riding motorcycles. While I am not a cop, I like these boots for their appearance, performance, style, and design.

The Dehner Boot Company has a large share of the market for these boots, followed closely by Chippewa. The “Chip Hi-Shine” is seen much more often on more cops — at least on the East Coast where I live. Chippewa also makes a bal-laced style patrol boot, but because of its low-end quality, is not worn as much as the others.

There are other manufacturers of police patrol boots, as well. Whoever wears them wants them to be functional and perform as expected. The boots should be comfortable for all-day wear, and withstand hard use from being worn while operating a motorcycle.

I put together a Guide to Motorcycle Police Patrol Boots and posted it on my website to answer questions that I frequently receive, and also to share some of what I know. I had the Guide reviewed by motor officers on the East and West coasts. One officer who reviewed it for me said:

“I am sincerely impressed with the thought, information, sheer amount of work and dedication involved in your Motorcycle Officer Patrol Boots review. I have been an officer since ’95 and I know for a fact that there isn’t anyone half as knowledgeable as you about such a large variety of motorcycle officer patrol boots in the industry and that includes motor cops and Bay Area Police Uniform Shops personnel alike.”

Check it out on my website: It is posted here. I hope you find it informative and helpful.

Back from Da Burgh!

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All was okay on our whirlwind trip to Pittsburgh to “redd up” my mother-in-law’s place for winter. The weather was spectacular. My partner shot me a look of “I’ll figure out a way to make this up” every time I’d hear a Harley rumble off in the distance and I would give a little whimper. Man, what a great weekend — on which to have been out riding! Uggghhh… what one does for love.

I replaced the trim on some windows and two doors. This took some rather intricate work to custom-fit new wood to old settings. I enjoy doing complex carpentry work, and I must say it turned out really well. My partner painted everything to withstand the weather and look new again. I also did a number of little odd-jobs that just needed to be done. The house, yard, and gardens look much better. My Chippewa Engineer Boots look, well, like they did some work!

After working outside, I turned to working inside, and multi-tasked. While I was preparing our evening meals, I also did some electrical repairs, too. I prefer to do the cooking, because I have a really restricted diet, so it’s best if I do the cooking because I know what’s in it.

When dinner was done, I was confined to watching DVDs that my partner arranges to be sent to his mother to keep her entertained. I was bored out of my mind, but that’s just how things are. I can’t go out (my M-I-L just wouldn’t understand and my partner doesn’t like going out any more at all). I did not have internet access, since my M-I-L doesn’t have it and I’m too cheap to pay for an air card. There’s nothing else to do but go into a semi-comatose state listening to blather on the TV (or from a movie) until it’s time to go to bed, then lather, rinse, and repeat.

I must say, though, that this was about the best visit with my M-I-L. She was complimentary, appreciative, and said thanks at least a dozen times. Believe me, that hasn’t happened before (or as much.) She actually hugged me each evening and each morning, and was genuinely pleased with the work that I had done around the house. It’s nice to be appreciated and — finally — recognized for being more than some guy who lives with her son.

The fall splendor was gorgeous on the way up bear and back as we drove over some mountainous areas, but it wasn’t quite “peak” yet in Pittsburgh. Looking at the trees helped time go by on the otherwise boring drive. I really detest being confined in a cage, and just don’t like to drive. My partner did all the driving, bless him.

Anyway, I’m home now, and am catching up on everything — email, blogging, regular mail, neighbors, community activities, etc., etc. Return to work tomorrow, then a public hearing tomorrow night. Everything will be back to normal!

Life is short: wear your boots!

Gowen to Work

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No, not gowen to werk in my office, but “up bear” to a borough on the west bank of the Ahia River, just north and west of Pittsburgh where my mother-in-law lives. We will be dere fer da long Columbus Day weekend. She has a hon-do list that needs to be accomplished to redd up da place fer winner. My partner is unable to do as much physical work as he once did due to his dizabiwwity, so these old hard-workin’ Chippewa engineer boots with me in them will be helpin’ aht. Bo fus are gowen.

It’s funny, my partner ordinarily does not have a noticeable accent. That is, until he is within 50 miles of “home”. Then it all come aht.

We have lots of work to do, so it is unlikely we will be gowen dahntahn to da ‘burg. She lives o’der near Sharteers Crick. Likely, though, we will need to go to Lowes a cupple tree times, which is up bear in Robinson. Thank goodness it’s a bye-week fer da Stillers, so we won’t run into traffic as we stoowp at da Jine Igl for some pop!

Wit allsa bitzle I’ll be creating in da garden and yard, I’ll have to use plenty of worsh rags to redd up after. I’ll be cookin’ eye-talian, ahn worshin’ it dahn wit da pop we got at da stoor.

So until I return, yinz alls take care now, yinz here? That’s it, Fort Pitt!

If you don’t understand this message, “It’s a Burgh Thing”. Click here for more information.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this message is meant to offend residents of Pittsburgh or surrounding areas. It was translated using a “Pittsburghese on-line translator”. Any errors, omissions, or commissions are the responsibility of the author, and not his partner, who was born and raised in the aforementioned area.

Sad Sacks Worldwide

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I guess it’s the world economy. I haven’t seen so many glum-faced suits in all my life. Yesterday, I had a meeting in a part of Washington, DC, about ten blocks from my office. It was pleasant, so I decided to walk.

As I walked there and back, I looked at the faces of the people on the street. Of the hundreds of people I passed, nary a one had even the faintest of a smile on his or her face. Most were actively sneering, with their face all wrinkled up into a frown. So sad, really.

I thought about myself, and figured that I didn’t need to look that way. I decided to smile. I looked at people right in the eye as I walked along, and smiled directly at them. Sheesh, you’d think that I had the plague or something by the way people reacted. They seemed startled. One guy even jumped off the sidewalk … I kid you not … to get away from me. A few people smiled back, and one even said, “thank you… I needed that.”

And it seems that sadness runs all over the world. For example, some dolt in the U.K. must have shared one of my YouTube videos with a group somewhere, and then he and a bunch of his friends decided to slam me by attempting to post comments on the video with all sorts of negative, silly, and hateful messages. Jealous types, mostly, with a few homophobes thrown in. There’s no need for that; seriously, these guys ought to get a life. They are engaging in this behavior probably because they’re sad, scared, and bored. Yeah, some are homophobes, too, so they feel better by spewing venom, just like a kid on a playground calling someone else a name. As a Gay Man, I’ve heard it all before. Sticks and stones, and all that….

I will ask God to look after them when I say my prayers tonight. And meanwhile, I just go about deleting the attempted comments and blocking the user. They’ll soon realize that they can’t get anywhere and go bother someone else.

My personal email has been rather active lately with all sorts of neighbors and community activists complaining about this-or-that. Mind you, most of their concerns are legitimate and we need to work together on resolving or working through the issues. But the volume of these messages seems to have increased over the past two weeks. If I did an analysis, I would figure that my “whine and rant” file is about 20% more full than it was before.

Certainly, the bad state of the world economy, led to ruin by the United States and the mismanagement at the top (in both the public and private sectors), has caused many people to become angry, frightened, worried, and afraid. The whole world, it seems, is on edge. It’s just too bad that people express themselves in such negative ways. Heck, I’m affected by the bad economy as well. I do what I can to protect our interests and assets, as meager as they are, but there’s no reason to spread sadness and gloom. I choose to do the opposite.

H. Jackson Brown Jr. said, “Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” Today more than ever, I will remember that, and do it.

Lookin’ Up at Lugs

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I have always liked photos of guys in boots taken from a low angle, so you can see the boot and a lug sole. I really like lug-soled boots for the traction they provide when I ride my Harley.

This is a cool shot, I think. The boots are new, as well. My partner is a fairly frequent user of a website called “bargain outfitters.” He had purchased something, but needed to spend $10 more to get free shipping, which would have been more than $10 for what he wanted. He hunted around, and lo-and-behold, he found a pair of cheap Chinese-made black harness boots with a lug sole with the Harley-Davidson logo on the shafts. And they were only $10! (Well, $9.95, but who’s counting?)

I checked around, and found these boots sell new at on-line boot retailers for about $100, so my partner got me a great deal! And to think, he said that the last thing he would ever buy me is a pair of boots. I didn’t remind him of that when he gave them to me. I just smiled, said thanks, put them on, and then took him in the back room…. oops, this is a G-rated blog. (smile)

See more photos of these boots on my website, here.

So come on, guys, Lug-Up! REAL BIKERS WEAR BOOTS!

Life is short: wear your boots!

Harness Booted Biker

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I dunno, there’s just something that catches my eye when a biker has on harness boots. These ruggedly good-looking harness boots shown in this photo were a gift from a friend who lives in Ottawa, Canada. I have worked with him professionally for more than 20 years. I enjoyed several visits with him.

Out-of-the-blue about a month ago, he sent me these boots. They are made by Boulet, a Canadian bootmaker with a fine reputation.

I like the color, especially. It contrasts well with blue denim jeans. The rubber sole makes them great for use on my Harley.

The boots took a little work to break in, including some stretching in the heel so they wouldn’t rub. But that’s all fixed, and they’re on my feet feelin’ and lookin’ smokin’ hot!

1,000 for 1,000

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On Saturday afternoon, 71 volunteers (including my partner and me) went around a local retirement community to install a new battery in each of 1,000 smoke alarm units in 788 homes in the community. (Some homes had more than one smoke alarm). This was purely a voluntary effort. Many of the volunteers were from the community itself, while others were from a supporting company that donated the batteries.

We got the job done in about three hours, and I accomplished it all while wearing my banana-colored Frye Campus Boots. (Nobody said a thing about the boots, by the way.)

The community had done a lot of work to line up those who would admit us volunteers to their home and do the battery change-out. We also distributed some home fire safety information produced by our county — and whose messages were based on content I wrote years ago. (Small world.) We even had a crew from a local television station cover our event, and a two-minute interview appeared later on the late-evening news, though I didn’t see it. My e-mail this morning was brimming over with messages from family and friends who saw it and sent kind messages of congratulations.

It was a lot of fun, with great spirit and camaraderie among all who participated. I have to tell ‘ya, though, I was wiped out. I got my annual flu shot first thing Saturday morning, and despite taking aspirin, the mild side-effects of the vaccination took their toll. By the afternoon, I was achy and sore, and got really tired. But it was all well worth it to know that my neighbors and friends are just a bit safer in their homes.

After going to bed at 8:00 last night and sleeping soundly, I awoke at sunrise refreshed and feeling great! I snuggled with my honey for an hour, then rose to prepare a great home-made waffle breakfast. That will give me energy to ride on a planned motorcycle ride on a gorgeous, clear, bright, and beautiful day.

Change YOUR smoke alarm batteries if you haven’t done it within the past year. And remember: life is short — wear your boots!

Confident in Boots

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Yesterday I received a message from someone who asked me if wearing campus boots would make him “look like a gay dude.” I scratched my head about this one, and posted it on “Boots On Line” as well to request feedback.

In reviewing the replies — some of which were funny, and some showed indignation — I stepped back, put on my Fryes, and thought for a bit.

The writer obviously is confused. I commend him, though, for having the courage to ask. I thought about it for a while. Since campus boots in general share some features of women’s boots (higher heels, rounded toes, tall shafts), perhaps he is confusing that boots with those features are worn by effeminate people — and his further confusion is that gay men are effeminate.

This is the ongoing challenge with straight people who are laden with believing social stereotypes, often passed down (like folklore) from closed-minded people.

Here is what I said in response:

It’s all a matter of self-perception. Campus boots were very popular in the 1970s and 1980s, but sort of went out of style after that. Most guys who wear boots these days wear harness boots, cowboy boots, hiking boots, or work boots. But it all boils down to how secure you are with yourself.

I don’t mean this the wrong way, but if you are insecure or lack self-confidence, then you may think that wearing campus boots makes you appear a certain way to other people. Campus boots have a slightly higher heel than most average men’s boots. Their rounded toe and general appearance shares similar features with some women’s boots. Does having a rounded toe and 2″ block heel make a man wearing the boots gay? I don’t think so.

Frankly, I think you fear appearing effeminate. Not all gay guys are prissy queens, and those who act that way carry on social stereotypes that straight people gullibly believe. I certainly am not a prissy queen, and I like to wear campus boots from time to time. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you should ask yourself if you are being affected by blatant stereotypes perpetrated by some closed-minded people.

Heck with it… wear what you like and don’t give a darn about what others may say or think. That’s THEIR problem, not yours, unless you choose to make it your problem.

The choice to wear campus boots has nothing to do with being gay or straight (actually or in appearance)… it has to do with self-confidence and self-perception.

I appreciate the responses that I received on “BOL,” but I thought that trying to put myself in the other guy’s boots might give me a different perspective.

I am a confident man. I long got over worrying what other people thought about me (my boots, clothes, leather, appearance, etc., etc.) I really don’t give a flying frig what others think about those things. I wear what I like, where I like, when I like. If others have a problem with it, that’s their problem, not mine.

Thinking about wearing boots causes concern for some guys. Then what type or style of boots affects others. There are a lot if things in this world that are a hell of a lot more important than those issues. Get over it. If someone says something about the boots on your feet, just say, “thanks!” and move on.

I know, I know, I’m spoiled because I live in tolerant, open, accepting, rather liberal and forward-thinking community. I know there are many other places in the U.S. (and the world) that are much less accepting of anyone doing or saying or acting different from established norms. Each person has to live the way is best for him. I’m not saying that these other places are bad — I am saying that I wouldn’t like living in such an environment.

Okay, enough sermonizing for today. I’ve got lots of places to wear my boots today. I’ve already gotten my flu shot. All afternoon, a large band of volunteers that I have assembled will be installing 1,000 new batteries in smoke alarms in the homes of seniors. We’ve got media showing up and a big party planned for the end of the event. Wish us well!

And remember: Life is short! Wear your BOOTS!