My Great Nephew, about whom I wrote last May, called me a few weeks ago. I could tell that he was very upset. It was hard to understand him on the phone through his crying. I went to see him on the evening on which he called me. I found out that he is being bullied — again — by some bigger guys physically abusing him, as well as calling him names and making his life miserable.

Apparently the bullies hide their tormenting quite well. No adult at his school or anywhere else has seen what has happened. Even these days when adults are much more attuned to bullying and will intercede to prevent it, they have to witness an assault, or it becomes a “he said/he said” trade of accusations where the bullies deny doing anything, and the person who is bullied is afraid to say anything for fear of making the bullies more angry.

My Great Nephew’s father tried to teach him how to throw a punch — not strike first, but know what to do and how to strike back if punched first. The thing is, my Great Nephew doesn’t want to fight. He doesn’t want to hit anyone, even if the person deserves to be clocked sideways and screwy. Gosh, he is so very much like me when I was his age.

Since he doesn’t have a “big-jock-twin-brother” to hide behind, I suggested the next best thing, which I did when I was in school. I was very good in my studies, and knew that some of the jocks were not, and would be potentially suspended from playing on the teams (football, basketball, baseball, etc.) if their grades were not above a certain level. I offered to tutor some of these guys. I volunteered many hours of my time after school to help the jocks do better in their classes. That worked — their grades improved and they learned that I was not such a dorky dude after all. They became my friends. When the bullies saw that a number of big jocks were truly friendly to me, and I seemed to be around them a lot, the bullies left me alone and picked on someone else.

I used that analogy to explain a strategy for my Great Nephew to try. And I am very happy to report that so far, it is working! My Great Nephew tutored one of the biggest jocks in his school. The jock got some good grades on recent tests and credits my Great Nephew for his help. In turn, the bullies are leaving my Great Nephew alone. Apparently some of the jocks overheard some of their bullying of my Great Nephew, and taught the bullies a lesson. (I didn’t really want to know exactly what lesson was taught!)

So this is something to remember. If you are not the type to defend yourself by fighting, you can defend yourself by recruiting defenders by offering something you can do to help them. It is the most fundamental form of barter — trading for services. Tutoring for protection. Whatever you want to call it, my Great Nephew is happier today than he has been since school started in early September.

Yep, it’s that time of year again — in the last four weeks, I have attended 23 birthday parties within my family. Yikes! And there are four more parties this coming weekend! Double-yikes!

No, I do not have 23 siblings. 14 of them are enough, thank-you. Some of these parties were for nieces, nephews, and “The Greats.”

I tell ‘ya, I am all “caked out.” LOL!

It’s nice to see all the members of my family who live within driving distance of my home (not all of them do — I have family scattered around the country and the globe!) One might think it is a bit too much. For me, no… but it does keep me busy riding from place to place. However, I love it.

With such a large family, we do not exchange presents. I give a card, a warm hug, smiles and good cheer. I think I may be among the few who knows everyone’s names and their ages… but I have a little secret. I am the keeper of our Family Tree, and I reference it before I go to one of the parties.

While I have attended 23 such festivities over the last four weeks, I have not attended all of them. Some were far away, some were at very inconvenient times, and some conflicted with others.

That’s okay… we love each other and do our best to keep in touch, even though this Uncle Martian Dinosaur still refuses to get a data plan on his cell phone and exchange text messages. The younger ones do not use email or the phone, so I communicate with them via Facebook. One way or another, we remain closely connected.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them!

Presenting the newest additions to my family, my twin Great Nephews. They are 22 days old in this photo. My brother and I enjoyed hours of cuddling and bonding with them on our birthday, August 16. Best birthday present ever. Ever!

I love and enjoy all of my family, from my nieces and nephews flung far and wide, to their children, my “greats,” who range in age from 22 days to 18 years — about the same age range between the youngest of my siblings (my twin brother) and our oldest sibling, who happens to be the grandfather of these two boys.

I’m in love, all over again. I think I can speak for my brother, too: the look in his eyes matched mine when we were cuddling these little guys — bliss, peace, and love. (Sorry, no photos of him. He retains internet anonymity).

We have much to share about twinship, but the most important lesson is how to raise twins as independent and different people. Our parents helped each of us achieve our best by nurturing our various talents and supporting our different interests. They established a firm foundation — truly, it was love at the base of our bond, from which great things emerged.

Funny, at age 22 days, these boys haven’t discovered that each other exist yet, but when one fusses, the other does. Such is the start of “that twin thing.” One knows when the other is happy, distressed, hungry, poopy, or sleepy. Their cycles are almost identical, even though they don’t know that they are communicating through a bond that cannot be described. It’s just there. My twin brother and I know how each other feel every minute of every day despite vast geographic distances or even when he’s just down the hall in the guest room. We know.

Life is short: cuddle with those you love, and fall in love all over again. (And being the Uncle-ing sort, when they get poopy, hand ’em over to their Mom! LOL!)

My sister M was involved in a very bad automobile crash on Tuesday afternoon, when some idiot didn’t stop at a cross-street and t-boned her car as she was driving. Fortunately, she has a car with many airbags, all of which were deployed.

She was rushed by ambulance to the closest hospital, which is near where I live. The family “communications vine” lit up. That is, I received several email messages and two phone calls. All we knew was that she was involved in a very bad crash and that she was rushed to the hospital. One can’t help but fear the worst.

I found out about it just about the time I was leaving work. I rode my Harley as fast (yet safely) as I could to the hospital. When I arrived, I had that anxious look on my face, that hospital staff know means, “where’s my family in the emergency room?” Funny, though, the desk attendant said, “you must be with (my sister’s name) … lots of your family are here already” and she pointed to the waiting room. (LOL! yep, our family is known to show up in numbers when one of us is rushed to the hospital. They all know us.)

I saw my sister’s husband, three of her children, five grandchildren, and two more of my siblings in the waiting room. Within the hour, 12 more of the family showed up. The hospital staff was getting a bit anxious because so many of us were there. I must admit, we were a bit noisy. A hospital staffer kept coming in about every five minutes to say, “now, only immediate family can be with her. You all can’t go see her.” I really think they were afraid that we were going to storm the room where my sister was being treated.

We know the rules… we waited. Her husband went to my sister’s treatment room when they allowed the first visitor, and then reported to us about ten minutes later how she was: bruised and battered, but no life-threatening injuries. We were relieved. But to be sure, the docs had to take some more x-rays and tests to make sure there were no internal injuries or broken bones.

The hospital staff let us each have a short visit on a rotating basis (one out, one in). One of us at a time were allowed to go see her and spend five minutes, then come out and let the next person go see her. We kept this family visit rotation going on until she was released. (Actually, I left by 8:30pm, since I had to be in bed by 9pm, and I knew that my sister would be okay. I was informed via email that she was released about 11pm.)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I knew that my partner would be worried if I did not arrive home when expected. It took me a while, but I finally reached him and told him that I wouldn’t be home for dinner and did not know when I would get home, but I was okay. He was concerned about my sister, and relieved to know that my delay had nothing to do with a motorcycle crash in which I may have been involved (he always worries about me when he knows I’m riding my Harley.)

When it was my time to see my sister, I held her hand, told her that I loved her, then talked about what she has done that I appreciate so much. From the little things like making me food that I can eat (that is, is compatible with my chronic health condition) at the family dinners, to the big things like helping to educate my Mom that my being gay wasn’t the end of the world. She helped my Mom learn about homosexuality and how to love a gay son. She is, and always has been, my “big sister.” (Yes, I have six more sisters and I love each of them dearly; each one is special to me in her own way).

I am glad that my sister will be okay. I am also glad that — each and every time I see my family — I always make sure that when I am leaving that I stop and say to each one, “I love you.” Honestly, you never know when something may happen that may take them away from you. These three powerful words mean so much.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Yesterday, BHD’s alter ego became a Great Uncle to twin boys. Makes #39 and 40 of “the greats” in the family (that is, children of BHD’s siblings’ children). His niece, the Mom, is doing fine, and her husband — as usual — showed pictures of the boys on Facebook. Amazing how Facebook has replaced all other forms of communication about the birth of children.

Honestly, BHD’s alter ego wouldn’t know who’s who and born to whom in his humongous family if it weren’t for that social media site. He kinda has a love-hate relationship with it, but it does keep him well informed about what his family, friends, and professional colleagues are doing.

“BHD” is not on Facebook. BHD’s alter-ego, the guy on Facebook, does not “friend” people who he does not know. He uses it strictly to keep up with family, neighbors, motorcycle riding buddies, and colleagues from his profession around the world. This is another way that he strives to keep himself in different worlds. Blog here, Facebook there… LOL! (It is weird talking about myself in the third person! LOL!)

BHD’s alter ego plans to visit the newest additions to the family this coming weekend. He is thrilled — more twin boys in the family! BHD and his twin, J, can share some of our experience which may help their Mom and Dad understand how to be good parents to fraternal twins.

Woo-hoo! both BHD’s alter ego and I are one very happy Great Uncle! (J is too, but this is confusing enough!)

Life is short: love your family!

I received an email the other day from a frequent reader of this blog. He was confused. He read the post about my twin brother retiring, then another post about me going to “a brother’s” for a crab feast.

How many brothers do you have?” was the inquiry. “I’m confused.”

Sorry for any confusion. Regular readers of this blog have read occasional postings that I have written about my family. I am blessed, truly blessed, with seven brothers. I am also very blessed to have seven sisters. All from the same Mom and Dad. Yep, our Mom was “fertile”!

So when I write about doing this with a brother or that with a sister, or celebrating birthdays of nieces, nephews, and “the greats,” I am fortunate to have many family members to do things with. I am exceptionally pleased that we all remain close. Granted, I may not be that close with some of my brothers- or sisters-in-law, but that’s okay — blood keeps the siblings close, regardless of a few rare disagreements brought on by some in-laws.

What’s it like to be the only gay dude in a large family? Read this past blog post for details.

The most frequent question that I have received is, “in such a large family, are you the only one who is gay?” In our case, the answer is yes. I know that’s against the regular law of averages, but so be it.

It’s great having such a large family. We all are different, do different things, have different lives, work at different jobs. But together, we compose a close and loving family. That’s what it’s all about.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Thinking of my Dad today; I sure miss him. I learned a lot from him in the 12 years that we shared together on this planet.

Those of you who still have Dads don’t know how lucky you are. Go give him a hug, or if you’re far away, at least give your Dad a call.

This past blog post explains a bit about my Dad if you care to read it.

Meanwhile, today will find me going on a motorcycle ride, and I think I just may find myself going to one of my Dad’s favorite places on my way home to sit, think, and smile in honor and memory of a wonderful man.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Four Great Nephews graduated high school recently, and all celebrated with parties yesterday. The family arranged it such that we went to one house, spent a couple hours, then another house, spent a couple hours, and another and another until we reached the last one at the end of the day. 58 miles between each of the four celebrations, plus travel to and from put 100 miles on the Harley.

I shared joy by taking each graduate from his respective party to the next celebration on my Harley in this “progressive parade” of family celebration. I was the bad-ass-biker-Great-Uncle (again! LOL!)

At first, I wasn’t sure I could make it, as I was ill most of Friday night with a rather bad Crohn’s attack. Fortunately, it abated in time for me to get the Harley out. Good, too, that the storms in the forecast didn’t happen. The progressive parties were a lot of fun — and filling!

Way too hot and humid for leather. Jeans, t-shirt, lightweight Chippewa engineer boots without steel toes ruled the day.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them!