What Is Not Mutually Exclusive

To me, there are some things that people write or say that implies that they believe that the following things are mutually exclusive:

  • Being a ‘biker’ and being gay. I’ve blogged a lot about that. I am both. There are a number of gay men who like to ride motorcycles, and who enjoy the “biker presence” (however that is defined.)
  • Being gay and masculine. Yes, I am both. The former is my sexuality and the latter is my observed behavior.
  • Being gay and not being into fashion. Yep, that’s me. I’m just a regular guy who prefers boots, jeans, t-shirts, and leather versus suits, ties, dress shoes, and formal wear.
  • Being gay and not being able to dance. Yes, it is true, and I am evidence of it: not all gay men know how or like to dance. (I, for example, am a quarantasinestrapede).
  • Wearing leather jeans and shirts in public (and no one saying anything). I still don’t get it, but I get an email at least once each week from someone who has questions about wearing leather in public. I have blogged ad naseum about that matter. Suffice it to say that I wear full leather often in and around my community, and hardly ever does anyone say anything, or if they do, what they say is complimentary.
  • Wearing leather or denim jeans tucked into tall boots (and not being called ‘gay’ pejoratively for doing so). There are some who rant on various forums that “only gay guys wear jeans tucked into boots,” or when they see a guy with jeans tucked into their boots, they say, “that’s ‘so gay’!” Oh fiddle-faddle… a demonstration of a weak mind. If you have nice boots and want to show them off, draw on your self-confidence and do it. Nobody gives a darn, and if they do, it’s their problem, not yours. See my Jeans and Cowboy Boots info on my website for more details.
  • Being nice and being honest. Yes, it is possible to be both. It has to do with living up to high standards of integrity and decency. Just goes to show why my partner is my life-mate, and what my real friends are like. I value integrity and being nice about it.

I am more than weary of on-line boards and forums where some people rant about some of the above-mentioned characteristics and claim that the two cannot possibly be shown by one person. They can, they are, and they do.

Fetish Gear Mixer

UPDATED AUGUST 2010: Unfortunately, this “CODEDC” thing has degraded into an event focused on sex. My partner and I are monogamous and don’t play with others. We will not attend any more “CODEDC” events.


This is my partner and me after we returned from our Saturday night out.

The “CODE DC” party bills itself as “not your Daddy’s leather scene” though it goes on to say that if you’re into leather, by all means wear it, but they’re also open and very welcoming to any type of gear fetish, from athletic gear to uniforms to rubber & latex to skin, and all else. Specifically, they say, “we want to make CODE a place where our younger people who may not even identify as Leather will still want to come.”

Congratulations; the organizers of this event did well. My partner and I were impressed with the huge mix of guys turned out in all sorts of gear. The “guy mix” included many bear-types, as well. All of it was there — lots of younger guys who were mostly in athletic jock gear were joined by others who were in uniforms (such as me), lots of rubber and latex, and some others in full leather. Guys with bodies to show were shirtless, and provided a nice view.

What impressed us most was how outgoing and friendly attendees were. They mixed and mingled and really talked with one another. We didn’t notice as much heavy “cruising” going on as much as there was true conversation and guys meeting one another. The music at first was at a low volume, which aided in having conversations because you could actually hear what the other guy said. It got a little louder as the night went on, but it wasn’t so booming that you couldn’t hear someone else. While personally my partner and I don’t like techno “boonga-boonga-boonga” throbbing noise, we understand that such music is what they play at these events. So be it.

While they said that there would be a visit by a drag queen, I guess we left before she arrived.

The venue is great. It is long but narrow. The bar is against a wall, so there is not the “racetrack” feeling when a bar is in the middle of a room. We even could find a place to park not that far away.

Seating was available, from couches set up in areas to facilitate conversation, to a long bench across one side of the bar. That is where my partner and I planted ourselves. We enjoyed watching everyone arriving, mingling, and having a good time. I saw a few people I knew and enjoyed a conversation with them. We left rather early, but that’s characteristic of us — we just can’t handle “late” (defined as remaining awake after midnight.)

Congratulations to the organizers. If you are in the DC area on the first Saturday of the month, you should check out CODE DC. It is fun, mixed, interesting, and welcoming to people of all ages (especially the younger guys) and fetish interests.

We will not be attending these events regularly, just because we are not the type of guys to go out much any more. But we will go back sometime, when we can.

Last Night In Leather

I have said on this blog that we don’t go out much. Last night was a rare exception.

I leathered up from Muir Cap to All American Patrol Boots in my LAPD full Leather Uniform, leathered and booted my man, and we went out. We tried a new-to-us gathering called “CODE DC”.

I took and posted this photo before we left home on Saturday night. The leather and boots felt very, very good. My studly partner is gorgeous, but shy of the camera so I don’t have a photo of him, but let me say, “woofity-woof!”

Off we go! (Here is a link to our impressions of the event).

Life is short: enjoy your leathers!

It’s Leather Weather!

Of all four seasons we get in the DC ‘burbs of Maryland, USA, I like autumn the best. We usually have an extended autumn, lasting from mid-September through early November. With warm(ish) sunny days and cool(ish) nights, the weather is perfect for enjoying outdoor activities. Of course, motorcycle riding is part of that mix!

Oh, BTW, I should mention that one of the best times to be a tourist in Washington, DC, is right now. Summer visitors are gone, thus making queues at tourist hot-spots much shorter. The weather is more pleasant to walk around and enjoy the sights. Prices for hotel accommodations have dropped to “shoulder season” rates. Most school groups that go on field trips to DC do that in the Spring, not this time of year when they are focusing on academics. So this is a GREAT time of year to be a tourist of our fair Nation’s Capital.

During October, I have my usual obligations to my community and my cadre of “elder buds” as well, especially since it is Fire Safety Month. Once again, I have received a donation of batteries for smoke alarms, as well as some new smoke alarms, from a major home retailer which has supported my voluntary senior fire safety activities for many years. A gang of volunteers is being organized to go from home to home in mid-October to replace batteries (which need to be replaced once a year, not more often) or entire smoke alarms that have reached their ten-year life span.

During my time in Phoenix, Arizona, last week, I was giving my best friend some grief about how hot it was in late September (108°F, 42°C is just too hot!) I arrived home to find it pleasantly cool, with daytime temperatures about 70°F or 21°C, and early morning temps at 50°F or 10°C.

As usual, I prepared to ride my Harley to the Metro on Tuesday morning (and throughout this week), but discovered that with it becoming much cooler, I had to break out the riding leathers hung in my gear closet and used this time of year. Thick, durable riding chaps, my motocross jacket, and warmer gloves became necessary. I retired my summer 3/4 helmet for my full-face helmet, which is warmer, as well. I spent about 10 minutes rummaging around on Tuesday morning getting that gear out and on.

I didn’t mention the boots, but of course I wear boots every day, and when I ride my bike, it’s motorcycle boots on my feet. My Chip Hi-Shines have been enjoying re-entry into the daily mix, as well as my Chip Firefighter Boots, Dehner Patrol Boots, All American Patrol Boots, H-D Police Enforcer Boots… you get it. The only tall, warmer boots that I do not wear to work are Wescos. They are a bit too heavy, bold, and clunky to wear to my place of employment, which is a professional office. I will wear Wesco Boots on the weekend with casual leather jeans.

I look forward to enjoying autumn and wearing leather more often and with pride.

Life is short: wear your leather!

Caring for Leather Gear

Lately, I have received several email messages asking about leather care, and wondering how often I care for and treat my leathers.

Generally, I am not one who obsesses about my leather getting mud or dirt on it, or splashed by rain. But I want my investment to last, so I care for it as I use it. This time of year in North America, the temperatures are dropping so it’s time to get the leathers ready for more regular wear. (Yippie!) I remove the gear from my closet and rub a “leather wipe” (described below) over it, re-orient the gear on the hangar, and hang it back up.

Details on care of leather garments is below. I took this from my Complete Guide to Leather Gear that I wrote last year. The most important thing to keep in mind is that leather is a tanned and treated animal skin. Much like our skin, leather is porous and needs to be treated with care.

Condition it when you first get it: The first thing you should do after you purchase any leather garment is to treat it. You can almost always find leather care products where you make your leather purchase, or at any good shoe or western store. What has worked best for me is Lexol Leather Conditioner. This product comes in a bottle. Just put a little bit on a damp sponge and rub it all over your leather gear. Hang the gear to dry away from sunlight and heat sources (like a heat vent.) Do not use spray treatments — these products do not work as well because the oils that are in the product that help the leather have droplets that are too large, and tend not to soak in.

Hang It Up: Just like your momma told you, hang up your clothes! This is really important for leather. When hanging leather gear, remember to keep it cool and dry. Always use broad and padded hangers, as metal wire hangers will distort the shape of leather. Leave some space on each side of each piece of gear while it is hanging so air can circulate around it. Leather gear can stick together if packed too tightly, and cause damage that can’t be fixed. Remember never to store leather gear in plastic bags or containers because they need to breathe. Sunlight can easily cause leather to fade and dry out prematurely. Keep your gear out of direct sunlight when you store it.

Regular Care: Right before you hang up a piece of gear, check it for dirt, stains, or other gunk and clean it off. If it’s generally clean, use something like “Armorall Leather Wipes” or “Lexol Leather Wipes” and give the gear a light going-over, ensuring you cover stress points like knees, crotch, butt, shirt sleeves, and anywhere else that your body moves and causes the gear to crease.

Spot Mud, Dirt, Salt, and Stain Removal: Use a damp sponge moistened with water only — not saddle soap or detergent — and rub it on the gear, particularly heavily soiled spots, in a circular manner. If a stain is stubborn, rub off as much of it as you can from the leather, then use Lexol Conditioner on the spot. You may need to treat the gear several times. Be persistent — it will eventually come off. Be particularly attentive if the gear were exposed to salt applied to roads during the winter. This salt can quickly dry out leather and leave it permanently damaged.

Stain removal from suede: Try this old tried-and-true technique. Remove the crust from a piece of bread and let it dry out until it is hard and stale. Rub the stale bread over the stain to remove it. It really works!

Removal of Mold and Mildew: Mildew is a name for a variety of common molds, which are in the Fungus family. Mold feeds on dead organic substances, including leather. Mold will cause leather to decompose, leaving thin patches which will become holes in short order. Mold propagates by spores, which are omnipresent; you can’t keep the mold spores away from leather, but you can make the environment unsuitable for their growth. Mold will grow when leather is the least bit moist, especially if kept in a dark and warm place, such as a car trunk or storage chest with limited or no air circulation. Thus, the most important thing to do to prevent additional damage is to dry the leather carefully (see below) and then keep it in a dry, well-ventilated place.

If Leather Gets Wet: Drying leather the correct way will lengthen its lifespan. Leather gear should always be air dried in a cool area away from sunlight. Humidity and heat will cause excessive drying and result in the eventual cracking of the leather. Hang the wet gear on a wood hangar. Find a cool, non-sunlit but NOT DARK place to hang it. Wet gear hung in a dark place will get mildew very quickly, and perhaps mold that will ruin it. Make sure air circulates in the room where it is hung. If air doesn’t circulate naturally, use a small fan to keep air moving in the room, but not to blow on the gear.

What to Avoid: Soaps, solvents, silicone, wax, and harsh chemicals are not a good for leather gear. Shoe polish should only be used on boots, but never on leather garments. Avoid spraying hair care or deodorant products while wearing leather gear. Overspray can stain and discolor leather beyond repair.

Professional Cleaning: If you find you cannot clean the item yourself, you can get it done professionally. Look in your local telephone directory for a dry cleaner that specializes in leather items. Some dry cleaners are not familiar with the processes involved in the making of leather and the glues used in the making the garments. It never hurts to make a few phone calls to find someone who is knowledgeable in cleaning leather. It may cost from US$40 – $80 for this service.

Life is short: enjoy your leather gear!

Leather Intimidator

Public and private schools in the DC Metro area have all opened. Many kids who attend the DC public school system ride the Metro. I see them on my way home from work. They often complain about not being respected, but they deserve no respect by the way they behave on the train. They yell, run around, use profanity (including cracks about “gays,”), make obscene gestures, eat, and drink — and get by with it for two reasons: 1) there are no Metro Police on the train car on which they are carrying on their antics (the cops can’t be everywhere); and 2) most regular passengers are afraid or intimidated by them. One regular rider on my train is an older woman, who looked like she was very afraid on Monday afternoon when the kids were behaving so abominably.

Yesterday afternoon, I turned the tables. As I was leaving the office, I stepped into the restroom and put on a pair of leather jeans tucked into a pair of tall patrol boots (H-D Police Enforcer Boots), a leather shirt, dark sunglasses, and a cop ball cap. (I had no insignia on my leather shirt; I’m not so stupid as to try to impersonate a law enforcement officer.) I was dressed as a complete leatherman.

I walked to the Metro station near my office, and was not surprised that nobody on the street said anything. I noticed a few people glancing at me, but there were no comments.

I got on the train just as a herd (or should I say a shrewdness of teenaged apes) boarded it. They began their usual routine of running around and acting out. While there were seats available, I chose to stand, holding a rail in the middle of their mob. I just glared at them. I didn’t say a thing. But I gave them the hardest, most stern look I possibly could give.

The kids looked up at me and gave me a quizzical look. I continued to glower. Amazingly, the kids settled down. Each took a seat, and began talking with his or her seatmate in normal voices. They put their food and drinks into their backpacks. They actually behaved like calm subway riders.

As the train continued on its route, and more seats became available at each stop along the way, I continued to stand — as if I were standing guard. A cop in full uniform boarded the train at one stop and got off two stops later. I laughed (to myself) as he gave me a salute upon his exit from the train, and I tipped my cap at him. The kids noticed that (evil grin). The kids remained calm and quiet.

The kids got off the train at the stop before mine. I guess they were on their way to terrorize the local mall which has developed a reputation for large groups of wild kids running around on weekday afternoons.

When the train approached my station, I walked toward the exit door. The old woman who was so afraid yesterday began to clap. Then the rest of the passengers did, too.

The power of leather is amazing. I just might continue to wear leather on my ride home every day… until the kids choose to ride another train or go somewhere else.

The leather and boots felt so good and the coolish, sunny weather was so fantastic that when I got on my Harley at the Metro station, I decided to take off for a nice ride. I rode 50 miles (80km) and still got home in time to prepare a nice dinner for my partner and me.

As leathermen say, “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” It works!

Amusing Google Searches

Every now and then, I look at the stats linked to this blog to see what draws new visitors to it. Most new visitors (not the “regulars” who are followers, friends, relatives, or google “friend connect” users) come from searches using Google.

Here are some of the searches that landed up here, categorized by topic. I copied exactly what people entered into a search, including typos, misspellings, and grammar (or lack thereof).

1. Gay issues

  • why gay men have those squeaky voice?
  • can a gay man be masculine
  • can you be gay and masculine
  • boots outside jeans gay?
  • gay boots and jeans

Response: some gay men speak with a distinctive sound. I described it recently here. But honestly, most do not. Most gay men sound like anyone else. It’s a stereotype that all gay men speak with a squeaky voice.

Gay men and masculinity? Yep, I have blogged a lot about that. It is quite possible, speaking from personal experience, that there are masculine gay men. Again, not all gay men are prissy queens. Gay men range in masculinity as straight men do. However, many unenlightened straight men fail to recognize or actively deny this range.

Does a man who wears his jeans inside his boots mean he is gay? Um… no. Again, another stereotype. Just go ask a rodeo cowboy in Buckaroo boots that question.

The funny: “gay boots and jeans.” I have yet to find such a combination….

2. Cowboy Boots

  • how can men wear cowboy boots
  • how to wear cowboy boots with jeans
  • what boots to wear with blue jeans
  • what jeans do you wear with cowboy boots
  • can you wear cowboy boots with a suit?
  • boots outside jeans cool?
  • how should a man wear cowboy boots
  • how to wear cowboy boots to work
  • how do cowboys iron their jeans?
  • what kind of boots do cowboys wear?

Response: It amazes and amuses me how many, many people inquire about how to wear cowboy boots, what jeans to wear with them, what stacked jeans are, if one can wear cowboy boots with a suit, and so on. I do not know the reasons why so many inquiries of this nature are searched, but ever since I posted the tutorial Cowboy Boots and Jeans on my website, it is continually the second-most visited tutorial on my website. (See below for links to the first).

Funny #1: “how to wear cowboy boots to work?” Answer: on your feet.
Funny #2: “how do cowboys iron their jeans?” Answer: it depends if you’re straight or gay. Straight cowboys don’t iron their jeans. Gay cowboys send them to the dry cleaner.
Funny #3: “what kind of boots do cowboys wear?” … um, how about, “cowboy boots!” LOL!

3. Motorcycle Boots

  • do I need motorcycle boots
  • difference between biker boots and cowboy
  • the best motorcycle boots
  • how to break in leather motercycle boots
  • how to put on 17 motorcycle boots

Response: yes, if you are going to ride a motorcycle, you need to wear boots designed for that purpose. Wearing sneakers or worse — flip-flops — is just stupid. I have blogged a whole lot about motorcycle boots and wrote the tutorials on motorcycle patrol boots and motorcycle boots. These tutorials are tied for the most-visited on my website. It is no wonder many searches about motorcycle boots end up on my website and this blog.

How to break in motorcycle boots? Train the ankles, then put on good, thick socks and wear them while riding.

Funny: “how to put on 17 motorcycle boots.” Answer: grow 15 more legs and feet!

4. Leather

  • leathermen who wear thier leathers 247
  • is it illegal to wear a uniform if you are not a cop
  • does leather hurt?

Response: I for one can’t wear leather 24/7. While I enjoy wearing leather often, I wear it when the weather is suitably cool enough. I don’t like to sweat. I guess there are some guys out there who wear leather all day and all night. I’m not one of them, and do not know any.

As for uniform wearing: yes, it is legal to wear a uniform if you are not a cop. Just don’t wear one within the jurisdiction of the agency being represented, and don’t try to act like a cop by making certain comments to other people, or carrying a weapon such as a gun or baton (night stick). It is all explained here on my website for those who are curious (and I have blogged a little about it, too.)

Funny: “does leather hurt?” Answer: yes, the cow who donated it for human use probably would say it hurts.

5. Funniest of all

  • shoes for cocktail attire

I just about died laughing when I saw this search ended up on this blog. It goes back to my April Fool’s Day joke where I spoofed about shoes to wear with cocktail attire to attend the latest guppy gathering in my area. I laughed because I am about the last one to be consulted on shoes and cocktail attire. I care for neither.

Summary: I hope you enjoyed this brief tour of what people enter into search engines and how or why they ended up on this blog. And before you worry that I have gone all “big brother,” no worries, I do not know who you are. I just see what you are looking for and where (the town) you are coming from.

Life is short: search on!

Bulges and Breeches

This Tom of Finland classic is also a print that I had framed and have hung in my home. It taught me what “flares” (sometimes called “balloons”) were on leather breeches. The flares were built into riding breeches to give the rider (of a horse) ample maneuverability as he rode his horse. They work well for operating an iron horse, too. I know — I have a pair and have ridden my bike with them a lot. They make very comfortable attire.

The rest of what this image inspires in thought remains for the beholder to imagine. And there’s lots there to think about, fantasize about, and admire.

Wondering: were other leathermen inspired to get breeches with flares by seeing this image after ToF published it?

The Leather Brotherhood

The Leather Brotherhood is the name of this drawing by Touko Laaksonen, the famous artist who was better known as “Tom of Finland.” This print was released in 1980, and soon enough it was appearing, well… everywhere.

The timing of the release of this print was co-incidental with my return from a year’s education in Europe. I was coming to terms with being gay, or at least acknowledging that I liked men and wasn’t interested in women for sex.

The strong, booted, leather-clad masculine image struck me. The guy on the right in the Muir Cap, leather jacket, tight jeans, and cowboy boots and the way he is interacting with the other guys in tall patrol boots captivated me. I found a large print of this image, and put it up on a wall in my bedroom. I would stare it it for what seemed like hours. The whole masculine, booted leatherman image was both a fantasy and a dream of what I wanted to become. At least in my male image.

I may not have the body or physique, but I have the boots, leather, and gear. These guys portrayed an image that had always captured my attention, and influenced me in my choices of gear and even behavior, in a way.

Have other guys been so influenced?

Going to IML in Chicago?

Time is rolling around again for the International Mr. Leather Contest, which will be held May 21-25 in Chicago, Illinois, USA.

I referred a buddy to my blog post that I wrote last year about IML. He replied saying, “gosh, this isn’t what I wanted to hear.” My friend is going to IML, but his interest is hanging out with fellow gear-guys, not having a one-night stand. While my partner and I have no interest in returning to IML again, we are happy we went two years ago to see what it was all about. Call it “one of the things to do in a long career as leathermen.”

To try to give some balance to what may be perceived as a dislike for IML or Chicago, which isn’t true, here is what I said to my friend in an email reply:

You will LOVE Chicago. It is a great town to visit. It is a very walkable city (flat, few hills) and they’re very leather-friendly. Feel free to go fully leathered while being a tourist.

There are lots of things to see and do in Chicago. And it’s the best town in the USA for pizza. Lots and lots of choices, all over the place. (And every local has a favorite they claim is better than all the rest. Don’t worry, you really can’t go wrong anywhere except perhaps Pizza Hut! LOL!) Try Lou Malnati’s, which is just a couple blocks from the Hilton. Get “deep dish” which has more ingredients, not more dough. Definitely the pizza to get in Chicago!

There are some great museums, though I have to admit that I am spoiled by having the Smithsonians, which are all free to enter. But admissions are part of the price of being a tourist.

Don’t go see a movie! You can do that at home. Go see the city. It is vibrant, alive, and fun. It’s also generally safe, especially along the Miracle Mile. That’s the name of the section of Michigan Avenue with the high-end stores, shopping, restaurants, but also tourist stuff to see, like “the bean.” “The Bean” is really cool and you should definitely boot up and go see it — and take your picture reflected in it. See the pics on my website.

There are a fairly large number of panhandlers around. It’s cruel, but hold your head up and walk on by. Don’t look them in the eye or establish eye contact. Do not give one money; the rest will follow you worse than a flock of pigeons.

As in any city, keep your wallet in your front pocket, not in a back pocket or a jacket. There could be pickpockets around, too.

As for transportation, yes, there are lots of taxis. Plenty will be at the hotel. There will be some at the bars, too. However, we didn’t use taxis when we were there. We didn’t go to the local leather bars during IML, but I have been to them before. The Chicago leather bars are about 3 – 4 miles away from downtown. IML provides buses to the leather bars at night, late into the night. The bars are packed during IML, dark, loud, and hard to talk to anyone due to the crowds. We decided not to go to the leather bars during IML because the night would run waaaay too late for us. We’re just not the night-owl types. We would rather just play tourist wide-awake during the day, staring with a great breakfast (There’s a great breakfast diner “Yolks” just a few blocks from the hotel on Michigan Avenue; try it!)

The public transit system (subway and trains) is very good, and reasonably priced. We took the train from O’Hare Airport into the city and then walked to our hotel. For $2.25, we got to the hotel directly and inexpensively. The train trip takes about an hour, but it’s still faster than using a shuttle or taxi, stuck in traffic.

I went to Chicago a few weeks ago and stayed in the very same hotel where IML will be held… note, it is about a 7-block walk from the train exit at Jackson to the hotel, and I wouldn’t recommend it in the dark. But in daylight, it’s fine. And an easy walk on the flat, wide sidewalks. Alternatively, you can use the train to get downtown and then get a cab from the train exit to the hotel. That would probably only cost $5 including tip. I’m cheap, and I walk! Be sure to have luggage with wheels!

IML itself is worth seeing. Don’t skip out on the events you paid for with your registration. Go see the introductions, stroll through the leathermart and see things you wouldn’t imagine existed. Get your boots shined (for only the cost of a tip) by one of the bootblacks competing for Mr. Bootblack. Go to the final fashion show (Mr. IML contest.) It’s interesting, and honestly, you’ll never be in a place with as many leather-clad guys anywhere else. It’s kinda cool to be all leathered up and be around all those men.

It’s also fun to hang out in the host hotel lobby and watch the leather clan come-and-go. Many of them are so funny. There are a lot of once-a-year leather dudes who worry more about their hairstyle or how straight their leather tie is than anything else. They’ll stand there yapping away on their cell phones or texting trying to find their friends. They will watch other guys to see how they’re dressed, who they’re talking to, and what they’re doing. Those kind of guys crack me up. My partner and I spent hours people-watching. We had a lot of fun — only if they knew what was really on our minds. (My partner and I would exchange what we thought were “thought bubbles” for some guys, and then burst out laughing. I’m sure everyone around us thought we were nuts.)

Anyway, relax, have fun, go play tourist, and DO IT IN LEATHER AND BOOTS! And since you’re flying there, be sure to check out my “Air Travel With Leather Gear” guide. It can help you decide how to pack.