Having a boot-and-leather oriented website and blog (this one), it is not unusual to receive messages from people who see the website or blog.  However, contrary to popular belief, I don’t get that many messages from people I don’t know.  That’s despite having an average of over 2,500 unique visitors to one or more pages on my website each day, or over 500 daily visitors to this blog.  The vast majority of visitors reach my website and blog through the use of search engines like Google.  Some, however, have found it via links from my YouTube Channel, or links from profiles on hotboots.com, recon.com, and a few other places.  To be honest, I forget where I’ve linked it over the past five years.

Anyway, a way to “win friends,” or to build a friendship with me is to communicate in a sane and rational manner.  Sure, like anyone else, I appreciate compliments, but I am not seeking praise nor expect it in order to make a friendship.  What I look for is normal communication that demonstrates respect, kindness, and intelligence.  I admit, grammar and spelling is important to me.  If someone cannot spell (and English is their primary language), then it tells me something.  A typo or two is forgivable.  Writing to me in “text-speak” with all those abbreviations is not.  Email is a form of written communication — like a letter — and isn’t a text message.  Learn the difference!

I understand that a number of my visitors live in countries where English is not primary, yet they try to communicate with me in English as best they can.  I am very understanding about that, and accept that nuances of American English are not well understood, and are not handled well by on-line translators.

I will give three examples — two good and one bad — of some recent contacts.

1.  A guy from New England who rides a Harley contacted me.  He had been reading my blog, and sent me a message describing his interest in riding Harleys, told me about the boots he likes to wear when riding (and thanked me for information about the boots that he found on my website), and gave me some suggestions on riding in the Canadian Maritimes about which I had posted on my blog a desire to ride sometime.  He was cordial, friendly, and normal.  His message was describing his interests and talked about some of mine, as well as helped me pursue one of my motorcycle touring interests.  We have subsequently exchanged dozens of email messages about a variety of topics.  He’s straight, I’m gay — so what?  With his permission, I posted a couple of his messages recently as a “guest blog.”

2.  “LC” contacted me through my website complimenting me on it, but also describing his interests in leather.  His message was brief, but well-written.  We began a conversation and I was pleased to take him on a motorcycle ride recently.  What led to our getting together was an exchange of email that indicated to me that he was safe, normal, intelligent, and that we share some common interests.  Yeah, we’re both gay and we both really like leather, so there’s the beginning of the conversation, but not the end to it.

3.  The bad example is a recent one, that said, “Hello Dear how are you? you have great pics, love all your boots I would like to be your partner just to have you wearing those boots 24/7, I am 34 very handsome and masculine Italian looking, I am serious i really want to be you please let me know?”   As I was reading the message, I was asking myself, “is this guy nuts?”  Right out-of-the-blue, he’s proposing partnership.  He wrote with incomplete sentences — he wants to “be me” or “wants to be you(r partner)?”  Huh?  I just delete messages like this.

Let me assure you, I seldom get messages like that, but I do… sometimes, and into the electronic “trash” they go.

I try to answer all legitimate messages that I get.  I like to make friends, and talk about mutual interests.  I don’t care if you’re gay or straight or ride a motorcycle or not… what I care about is that you’re normal, safe, sane, and can carry your half of a written conversation.

I am pleased to have developed some wonderful friendships by starting off with an email exchange.  My friends, “AZ”, Kevin, Clay, Bama-David, “John Smith”, Steve, and some others initiated friendships with me that way.  My life is much better with them in it.  We enjoy our frequent email contact, and occasional chances to see each other in person when travels permit.

So in summary, communicate well, and you’ll win friends.  Make off-the-wall proposals, and you won’t.

Life is short:  communicate.

I can talk about it now, … now that the primary elections are over in my home state. Early last week, a candidate for whom I was volunteering went ballistically negative against his opponent by creating a website devoted to tearing his opponent down. I found out about it just about the time it hit the “blogwaves.”

All throughout the campaign, I told the candidate that I detest negative campaigning, and that many of my neighbors feel the same way. His primary political consultant, who doesn’t live in our area, is known for hitting hard, but (IMHO) is out of touch with the feelings of the residents of our area. My candidate’s actions became incredibly mean-spirited and awful, and literally made me lose my lunch. I didn’t sleep the night I found out about it. It hurt me that much… so I had to pull away from the ‘net and reduce exposure to sh*t like that. I resigned from his campaign, and “checked out.”

I put the paper recycling bin next to the mailbox, and instructed our friendly mail carrier to deposit *all* political mail in the box. I didn’t even want to see it. I had already voted (since early voting is finally allowed in our state) so the volume of political mail sent to me after I voted was a waste of trees.

While away from the ‘net, I spent joyful time caring for my beloved aunt. Some days, she just wanted to be held, so that’s what I did… for hours. I also had a chance to play Bocce with the Bocce boys in the retirement community nearby, chattering away in Italian.

My partner had minor oral surgery last Friday, and I made home-made chicken soup which cured him of any residual pain. We spent most of the day last Saturday working on the yard. When you use compost as fertilizer, it takes longer than spreading chemicals from a bag.

I caught up on taxes, with those dreaded estimated taxes due on the 15th for myself, my small business, my aunt, and 14 other senior buds.

I cleaned house, killing more dust bunnies than we have actual bunnies in our forest. I fixed a broken garden wall that suffered the consequences of freeze-and-thaw. Lots of stuff… but I stayed away from politics, and the people who go with it.

Oh, and I accepted an offer for my dream job. Yep, my lay-off is over. I go back to full-time work doing what I love in a couple weeks. The job is conveniently located in my home town, so the commute will be easy. I am anxious to begin a new chapter in my life, doing what I love to do, and for which I have won international recognition.

…and I watched my candidate lose … he shot himself in the foot and deserved what happened as a result. So sad, so very sad.

Great break: now back to blogging.

Life is short: remember the priorities, focus on the positive, and separate yourself from negativity.