Category Archives: Best friends

Classic Bamaboy

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I have the distinct honor and privilege of having developed a very close friendship with a guy who has quite a reputation for producing high-quality photos of some of his boots.  Striking, masculine, classy, and with style … and with a charm unique to this guy whose self-deprecation belies his intelligence.  Smart as a whip, he is, but I shan’t say more, else it will go to his head.

The guy I am talking about goes by “Bamaboy”.  Yeah, he lives in Alabama, but is a man of the world.  Quick-witted and skilled, he continues to blow me away with his creativity and artistry.  Ooops, there I go again….

It was kinda funny how our friendship developed, but I’m glad it did.  I am also pleased to have met him in person — and he told me that I’m the only one from the “boots gang” at hotboots/BOL who he has met in person.  He is a very private guy.  He is honorable, good to his family and loved-ones, and honest as the day is long.  Our values are parallel, and our respect for one another runs deep.

This photo was posted by Bamaboy on the hotboots/BOL board yesterday, sorta at my urging.  The board has had a “harness boots week.”  He has posted this image on that board before, but so long ago that many haven’t seen it.  The boots in this photo are now in my collection as Bama told me he was going to sell them, and gave me “first dibs” to buy them from him.  I wear these boots when I ride my Harley, and think fondly of my friend each time I do.  And I no longer wonder why these boots wander off into mudholes… (giggle).

Life is short:  cherish close friends, and hold them with respect and honor in your heart.

Bootmen of Da’ ‘Burgh

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This past weekend, my partner and I drove to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA, to visit his mother who lives there.  My partner did a number of chores around the house to keep it in good shape (and he told me not to, so I wouldn’t aggravate a hernia that I just discovered).  We also gave his Mom some company as she lives alone and gets rather lonely.

It was a quiet, peaceful, visit.  While I was “up bear,” I had the distinct pleasure of meeting a friend who contacted me at first through this blog, and then through many hundreds of emails over several years.  It never worked out until this trip to be able to meet in person.  We sat atop Mt. Washington enjoying a bright, sunny afternoon on a lovely day, while taking in the view of the picturesque city skyline.

What a wonderful guy, from his comfy Justin cowboy boots to his broad smile on his handsome face.  

Life is short:  enjoy it with friends!

Bama’s Fault

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This image is all Bamaboy’s fault. All his fault. Oh my has he influenced me.

He is known for his stunning photographic and Photoshop skills. I am among the few fortunate men to have met him and enjoy a wonderful friendship with a smart, witty, great guy.

But man oh man, has he influenced me. I ride by a stream or river, and the boots jump in the mud. As Bama says, “hahahahahaha!”

Life is short: share joy of great friendships.

[by the way, the boots clean up well when hosed off…]

My Brother-in-Heart

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This is my brother-in-heart, AZ. I found a couple pictures on my computer that I had not processed yet. These pics were taken of us when I visited him in Arizona in September, 2009. What a wonderful guy. How blessed I am to have him in my life as my best friend. His smile warms my heart, and his heart warms my smile.

Mudlessness

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Okay, while I am on the “lessness” theme of blog posts, today, Friday, I am mudless. Or shall I say, my boots are in a state of mudlessness.

That is their usual state. And I presume all of my boots are mudless (save for some of my work boots that may still show some dirt in the lugs). In my current condition, I cannot see them. My boots are in the basement or my upstairs closets, and I am in between — safely situated on an easy chair in my family room which is on the middle floor of our house. Having a broken leg with a cast on it that weighs a ton prevents me from going up and down stairs to check on the status of my boots. Not seeing my alarm panel change from “all secure” status indicates that my boots must be where I last saw them a month ago — in their respective storage areas in their usual state of mudlessness — and are not walking out the door all by themselves to go play in what has become a mud pit of a back yard since a lot of our snow has melted.

Why am I carrying on about my boots being in a state of mudlessness? Well, had I not broken my leg, I would have gone on a business trip to Alabama this week. The event I was scheduled to facilitate would have ended at 3pm today. Then my good friend, Bamaboy, would have picked me up from the hotel and we would have gone to “play” and have some pair of boots become, shall we say, “a bit dirty,” or as Bama would say, “all mudded!”

What is it that as men in our 50s and grown adults that we like to go jump in mud puddles? Are we reverting to our childhood? Well, perhaps for play, fun, and seeing the results of the superb photographic work that Bamaboy does… sure, I’d love it! Last time I saw Bama, it was dry as a bone and no mud could be found. We kicked up some dirt, had a nice dinner, and enjoyed each other’s company as good buddies.

Well, alas, here I remain in Maryland, unable to put on a pair of boots, and only snuck (snow and melting mess) in sight. This is not quite where I wanted to be right now, but it’s what I have to endure.

Perhaps sometime in the future the stars will fall on Alabama again, align, and bring me back to enjoy some muddin’ with my buddy, his company, camaraderie, amusing humor, and gettin’ a little mud on our boots. That’s okay, the boots can clean up. Eventually. Returning to their usual state of mudlessness.

Life is short: dream on!

One Year Ago Today

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My, it’s weird how things can change in a year’s time. One year ago today I was visiting my best friend, AZ, in Phoenix. I had rented a Harley and we saddled up and went for ride to Sedona, Arizona. Within that year, my best friend bought a house and moved (still in Phoenix), and I broke my leg. On the bright side, his “condition” is permanent, while mine is temporary (or better be!)

I can remember that trip as if it were yesterday. The scenery was gorgeous. The ride was fun. The roads were great. The weather was perfect. What I recall the best, of course, is the fun I had with my best buddy, and his warm charm, smiles, and delightful way of making you feel good about yourself and life, in general. He has that way about him — a unique gift that makes everyone around him feel great.

Today, I sit at home with my leg propped up, still, and I am not able to walk. I couldn’t ride a bike if I wanted to. I am uncomfortable, cranky, and longing to get out of the hole in which I am stuck, albeit temporarily. I look out the window at mountains of snow in my yard. We still have at least two feet of snow in the yard from the back-to-back attacks of Snowzilla we endured not that long ago.

Instead of dwelling on my desire to be out of this predicament and be anywhere — ANYWHERE — else in two boots on two feet, I close my eyes and think of the long weekend that I spent with my best buddy, a wonderful host, and my best friend. Those memories bring serenity and smiles.

This is yet another reason why my partner likes AZ so much — because try as he might to snap me out of it, my partner hasn’t been happy that I’ve been grumpy. Having “mental diversions” like this help me relax, and makes my partner feel better, too. He hates it when I’m unhappy. Bless him — he’s always caring for me however he can.

Life is short: enjoy your memories!


Best Friend

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What’s a “best friend?” I think of grade school, when you picked one person to be your “best friend” and everyone else was second….

As an adult, of course, things are different. I have my partner, life-long friends, intimate friends, close friends, casual friends, and acquaintances. Of course my partner is my “bestest” friend, but that’s a different story. He’s got to be!

My life-long friends know me, or they think they know me; however, memories of the “me as a kid” sometimes affect their perception of the “me as a middle-aged man.” This applies to most of my siblings, as well. But that’s to be expected. They all love me, for who I was and who I am and who I will be. They will be with me all of my life.

My close friends are those who know me pretty well. They know I drink Coke (Zero) instead of coffee in the morning, am uber-annoyed at people who won’t “hang up and drive,” that I don’t eat broccoli, and that I abhor violence (or even play-acting violence on TV). They know when I’m feeling a bit down, and what to say to help me feel better. They let me help, and they help me. They’re “there” through thick, thin, and in between. We communicate regularly through a variety of methods, and have a good sense of what works to form that net to which I often refer — the net that supports someone throughout his life. These friends form the fabric of my “life net.”

Intimate friends, of which there are very few, not only have all the qualities of close friends, but also truly know my heart. They can read me and intuit how I feel. They know just what to say — or sometimes, what not to say. I am not referring to sexual intimacy, which is reserved only for my partner, but rather, I am referring to personal intimacy. These are the friends who I trust and allow into my personal space. Few get that close. Few ever will.

I was speaking on the phone with two of these intimate friends yesterday — AZ and my twin brother — and they each made me realize how incredibly rich I am. I have a partner who loves me, cares for me, and will do anything for me. I have a nice home. I have health insurance and am getting decent medical care. I have people who look after me and show me how they care — as I have tried to show them that I care about their well-being, too.

Further, though, AZ and J reminded me that while I feel down, frustrated, angry at being confined and hobbled, that I have talents that I can apply to get me out of these doldrums. Each in their own way urged me to engage my talents and concentrate on doing something during this period of confinement that I would not have had the time to do if I were engaged in my usual busy, active life. You know what? They’re right!

And what’s interesting to me is that both of them knew how I was feeling before I even told them. They just know me. They know my heart.

Luv ‘ya, guys… with all my heart.

Life is short: seize your talents. Your intimate, close friends want you to!

My Bro’, the Biker

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This is just a happy little note to congratulate, publicly, my former friend, AZ, for successfully completing the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Basic RiderCourseSM and passing with the highest score in his class.

I am a strong supporter of taking motorcycle riding courses, even for the experienced rider. There are always good pointers to learn, as well as information that one may not have known. The MSF courses are excellent, and come highly recommended!

Congrats! Keep the rubber side down and your sunny side up!

UPDATE: I spoke with AZ on the phone this morning, and he told me that he got the motorcycle endorsement on his driver’s license! Woo-hoo! All legal!

Life is short: share joy for others.Note: this photo was taken in February, 2009, when I rented a Harley and AZ joined me as a passenger for a ride to Sedona. We both wore DOT-approved helmets, even though Arizona does not have a helmet law. We believe in wearing proper protective gear, including sturdy motorcycle boots, each and every time we ride.

Not a Practicing Homosexual

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A friend and I had a conversation the other day about some issues that continue to be brought up by certain members of my extended family and their hyperconcern about the fact that I am gay and yet, for example, I served as a pallbearer at a Catholic funeral for my aunt.

He said, “it’s okay to be gay and Catholic — what they get upset about is ‘practicing the act’.”

Okay, I get it. I’ll just tell them that “I am not a practicing homosexual.”

After more than 16 years with my one-and-only man, I don’t need to practice. [giggle]

Life is short: maintain your sense of humor, and if you are like me and don’t have one, surround yourself with those who do!

My Thanksgiving Thanks

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I referred in yesterday’s blog post that I had prepared several “Thanksgiving Thanks” which I shared during our wonderfully successful Thanksgiving pot-luck event at which 98 guests and 11 family members participated. We had four opportunities to share with the group, and one privately. I prepared separate “thank yous,” which I will share here.

Before I go on, let me extend my thanks to all readers, and wish you the best for this holiday season. Peace to all people, dogs, cats, and otherwise (smile; photo provided by a cousin).

  • 11:00am: thank you to my wonderful partner, who lights my life with his commitment, dedication, hard work, and ongoing support for all I do. I could not live nearly as well, as comfortably, or as loved without him. Without him, I couldn’t be nearly as involved with you, my guests, as I am. I cherish him, and value how much he cares for all of our guests here with us today, for his mother, and for Mother Nature (just ask the squirrels and birds in the back yard!) Thank you, thank you, for being the man you are, and for being my best half.
  • 1:00pm: thank you to my wonderful twin brother, [J], who traveled all the way from his home in Paris to visit with me twice this year, including a wonderful birthday week where we rode Harleys together, visited family, and had such a great time. He connects with me almost every day by phone, email, or comment on my blog. He shows very clearly how much he loves me, and how much he cares. His wife and this world are so much the better for having him among us. I cherish him and love him only as a twin brother can. I can’t wait to see him and his wife when they come to visit for Christmas.
  • 3:00pm: (this passage removed).
  • 5:00pm: Thank you to [E] who organized today’s event. Two weeks ago when [my partner] and I both came down the the H1N1 flu, I was feeling overwhelmed by the need to keep on top of the planning and organizing for when you all would be coming today, and what you would be bringing. [E] just took over, and organized it far better than I could ever have done. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart. And thanks to my family [name, name, name…] who helped all day, too. We couldn’t have done this without you, and we love you very much.
  • 8:30pm: to my partner, as we sit here alone after a long day … thank you for enduring what is very hard for you to do … to be “on” all day long, to be socially light, entertaining, and to smile all day. I know this whole thing has grown beyond what it started out to be. I also know that it is physically more difficult for you now. And with unexpected visits from family who stayed with us last week before my aunt’s funeral, and with us both having had the flu and being sick for a whole week right before that — today was even more challenging than ever before. Thank you for your spirit, your hard work, but most of all, my love, for your love.

Thank you, loyal readers, for visiting this blog!

Life is short: be thankful!