Yesterday, October 11, was “National Coming Out Day.” As I understand it, the date was selected to recognize the second “March on Washington” (for LGBT rights) which was held on October 11, 1987. I didn’t attend. Back then, I was deeply in the closet.

However, I did attend the third “March on Washington” (for LGBT rights) held on April 25, 1993. That is where I met my partner and is the date that my spouse and I called “our anniversary,” which is often what gay men choose as an anniversary date — the date that they met.

However, I was still in the closet. It took me a long time to come out.

What do I think about “coming out day”?
Continue reading →

I mentioned on this blog that a guy in a group who went with me on a group motorcycle ride on Sunday made a comment about my tall boots and leathers, asking if I were trying to be a fashion statement. I told him, “I am very comfortable.” He said, “okay” and didn’t say anything else… at that moment.

But later at another stop on the ride, he couldn’t let it go. He made several “homo-ignorant” statements…
Continue reading →

This is the last of a three-part series about a cop and his firefighter boyfriend who want to be more open about their relationship and sexual orientation, but have concerns considering the male-dominated paramilitary professions each of them have chosen and work in.

In case you missed the previous posts, read:

• Being Gay in a Masculine Profession
• Then and Now

So what words of sage advice did I give these guys?
Continue reading →

Building on my post from yesterday, “Being Gay in a Masculine Profession,” I was asked for advice about how to reveal one’s sexual orientation with co-workers who are in a job that is ordinarily considered hierarchical and where male bravado, dominance, and position in relationship to the perceived Alpha Male social norms of the working environment are the custom.

Tom, a motorcop, and Chad, his firefighter boyfriend, are in their mid-30s. They were introduced to me by a friend of mine who thought that since I am gay and am comfortable about being out at home and at work (heck, I’m married after all!) that I could give advice to these guys.

I began with “then and now.”
Continue reading →

One of my (straight) friends, JT, is a cop. We ride motorcycles together in our off-time frequently. I have known him since grade school. We went on different career paths and lost touch while in college. A mutual friend held a party that I attended about 10 years ago. My ol’ pal showed up about the same time that I did, riding our motorcycles to get there. Our friendship renewed based on a mutual interest in motorcycling, we began riding together again from then on.

This past Sunday morning, JT asked me to ride to a pancake breakfast/fundraiser at a fire department in a distant town. Weather was gorgeous. My spouse said, “go for it. Have fun.” When we got there, another guy rode up and parked next to JT. They obviously knew one another by their friendly greeting.

The new guy, let’s call him Tom (not his real name), is a motor officer. He’s about 35 years old, very well built and quite attractive. JT introduced us, and then said, “Tom wanted me to get you two together for reasons he’ll explain.”

Tom said, “nice to meet you. I have some questions. You see, I’m gay…”
Continue reading →