I wrote a post last September about a former bully who apologized to me as an adult. We renewed our acquaintance at an informal high school reunion some 37 years after we graduated from high school. We promised each other then that we would find a way to reach out to current high school students as a team to explain how things were and that things get better.

Yesterday, we finally had that opportunity.

In the midst of shenanigans going on (or not going on) in the Congress of the United States, life back in the DC ‘burbs goes on. Before school let out last Spring, my old nemesis, now friend, and I asked to speak at our Alma Mater about how we felt back then and what we have learned, and why we have become good friends as adults. It took a long time for them to work it out (being a large, bureaucratic school district), but it finally came to be: “It Gets Better (X) High School Version.”

Even though I do public speaking regularly, this opportunity to speak at an assembly among some 500 high school students made me quite nervous. But my friend and I exchanged lots of ideas for what we each wanted to say, and even got together twice to rehearse. I am glad that we did.

I began, explaining that when I was in high school, I was “King of Nerd” and so self-centered that I thought I was the only one who knew anything. But I also was a klutz, awkward, short, small, and weak. I excelled in academics and was even elected President of the Class, though inside, I remained afraid of my own shadow.

My friend explained that he was “Mr. Tough-Guy,” the All American High School Running Back of the championship football team, and the captain of the baseball team too. He had a girl on every arm and broke hearts right and left. Mr. All-Everything that high school guys admire and try to be. However, he admitted that he was afraid of criticism and felt badly about his grades and being viewed as a sports-nut-cum-academic-failure. He viewed me as a threat and that is why he frequently picked on me, both verbally and physically (when I was out of sight of my jock twin brother who saved my ass more than once.)

My friend and I exchanged recollections of how we felt then. Our feelings, thoughts, hurt, anger, frustration, and fear… and arrived at describing our current lives of joy, calm, comfort, confidence, and pride where he is happily married to his wife and I’m also happily married to my man and that we have great respect and honor for each other.

We spoke for about 20 minutes, then took questions for another 20 minutes. We probably could have continued answering questions for hours longer, but we only had one period, or 40 minutes, for the whole thing.

I think we can say that it went well by the standing ovation that we received when the assembly was over.

My friend and I gave each other a hug, a handshake, and warm smiles, and promised to follow up again and speak at more high schools in our school district if they’ll have us. (I was assured by the Principal that we would receive a strong recommendation.)

I feel immensely proud that we made such a public statement. The twinkle (or tear, perhaps?) in the eye of a knowing retired teacher who we had when we were in school and came back to see us make this joint presentation spoke volumes. What we hope, we truly hope, is that perhaps we can help some students who are struggling as we each struggled to realize that they are not the only ones who have ever felt that way and…

…life gets better.

Life is short: it really does get better.