I received an email from someone who stumbled upon this blog. The subject line for the message was “pride.” The writer commented that…
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Category Archives: Gay Issues
20 Questions: I Guess I’m Not That Gay
I stumbled upon an interview in the local DC gay newspaper with a guy who married a local TV news guy. He was asked a set of questions that, to me, were focused on his sexual orientation and his answers portrayed him to fulfill all of the stereotypes that gay men have been saddled with. Uggghhh…. So here goes — my answers to the same questions.
1. How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
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You’re One of “Them?”
The other night, I attended a meeting in my community of a group that I once served as the elected leader. Three terms of office later, I am pleased that the current Board and leadership are doing a good job carrying on my legacy. The group deals with matters related to planning, zoning, and transportation for an area of roughly 80 square miles in the heart of the sprawling suburban county where I grew up and have lived my entire life.
I greeted dozens of people in the room who I have known for a long time — neighbors, friends, colleagues in public advocacy. While we were waiting for the meeting to begin, I took a seat next to someone I had not met before. He was about my age. I introduced myself and he shook my hand and introduced himself to me. A new resident of the area — concerned with construction of a small housing development near him.
He began to chit-chat with me by discussing the news of the day, including (for whatever reason), that the U.S. Supreme Court is due to announce a decision on same-sex marriage once again. I just let him ramble, until…
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It’s Hard Being The Only One
I live in an odd world — being gay and married to a man, but 99% of my friends and colleagues at work are straight — or at least “not out.” Generally, I live life as any other married (straight) man, with a few exceptions…
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Straight Support (or Guilt?)
My spouse and I celebrated our second year-as-married anniversary on April 4. That date coincided with a situation earlier that week in the State of Indiana where the Governor signed a law (at a closed signing ceremony attended by noted homophobes) that essentially permitted anyone to deny providing services to anyone else if they felt that serving that other person violated their religious beliefs. It was widely believed the new Indiana law was a hateful demonstration of anti-gay feelings among conservative legislators.
Regardless of where you sit on the political spectrum, many thought that the Indiana law was an extreme example of negative backlash against federal court judicial action that is requiring states to permit same-sex marriage even though their conservative leadership and majority of constituents do not want to allow it.
It was rather interesting to me, using my academic observation perspective, to see that a post that I made on social media, here:
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Self-Changes on Coming Out
In my most recent blog post titled, Average Booted Biker in the ‘Burbs, I said
Coming out to yourself and eventually to others does not change the man you have been all along.
I would like to refine that statement.
Actually, coming out as gay to yourself and then to others does change the man you are and will be in the future. Here’s how…
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Average Married Booted Biker in the Burbs
Someone noticed and asked me why the header image of this blog changed about a month ago. I was wondering if anyone would notice that it now says, “BHD’s Musings: The life and times of Booted Harleydude… Your average married booted biker in the ‘burbs.”
Anyone remember what it used to say?
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Clothing Association Avoidance
I received an email the other day from the spouse of a guy who is from Oklahoma. He said that his husband
hates everything cowboy, including the boots. He thinks that cowboy culture perpetuates discrimination against gays in his hometown.
The email writer wanted to find ways to encourage his husband to embrace his roots, and try (at least) to wear boots. The writer himself enjoys wearing boots, and he would like his husband who hails from Oklahoma to do so.
As a youth, I spent a lot of time in Oklahoma — six months each year for my prime years of youth. Yep, that’s where my fondness of wearing western wear and cowboy boots was born, and even today while living in the eastern U.S. — Maryland — I wear cowboy boots every day that I don’t ride my Harley. I wear them to work, to professional and casual meetings, around town, etc.
However, knowing my fondness of “everything cowboy,” you may be surprised at my answer to this email. I wrote…
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Heterosexual Songs
Recently, I switched the channel on the radio in my truck from the usual all-news station to a music station, and heard the song “All Of Me” by John Legend. (Hear it here.)
I really liked the lyrics, and was thinking warmly of my spouse as I was listening.
When I arrived at home, I was singing parts of it — “Cause all of me loves all of you” la la la…
My spouse heard me and said,
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Going to a Marriage Ceremony
I have written on this blog that I do not like to attend weddings — most particularly, I detest traditional wedding receptions. I don’t like dressing up in a suit, fakey people, drinking alcohol, the food (usually not food I can eat), and dancing.
But I have made an exception to my “no wedding” rule in that on this coming Saturday, I will be attending a marriage ceremony, and I will be a best man to two men. What?
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