I spent the day yesterday serving as a judge for a police motorcycle rodeo. It was interesting, especially watching the motor officers ride through the courses. Many ride with such grace, it makes me wonder how I can even start my own bike, much less move it down the road. They’re really amazing.
Below is a photo of me on the course serving as a judge. (I’m the one in lime yellow, in case you were wondering.)
Life is short: volunteer your services!
Woo-hoo, it’s that time of year again…. and this year, I get to serve as a volunteer, and be up close to the action. So many boots, so little time… (giggle)
A friend of mine with whom I attended school since we were in first grade posted a message on Facebook the other day, indicating how miserable she felt in high school. She’s lesbian — and I didn’t know it until later in life when we found each other again through Facebook.
She described how left out and unhappy she felt during high school. Funny, I didn’t remember that. She was the star of our high school plays. I thought she was well-liked and admired.
I remember feeling kinda badly during school, too … but not because I was gay; I didn’t know I was gay then. I just didn’t really know much about my sexual orientation. I do remember, though, being picked on by bullies and called “fag” and “queer” among other names. If I didn’t have my taller twin defending me all the time, I probably would have been dead meat.
Overall, I had a miserable junior high experience (age 12 – 14), as my father died when I was 12 and I went through puberty late. I was a meek weakling ripe for school bullies to toy with. By high school, I had become more confident and secure, mostly due to teachers who treated me with respect, by becoming involved in activities in which I assumed leadership positions, and also by serving as my brother-the-jock’s strongest cheering section.
Anyway, I’m here to say that as you get older, it does get better. It really does. You come to terms with yourself, and with others around you. Your family deals with it too, and most families, like mine, accept. I’m very happy that my family has long since moved beyond mere “acceptance” to having me feel embraced, always loved….
The following video shows two young men describing how bad the felt during high school and during their coming out process. It’s interesting to watch. Please view it. It provides assurance that I can attest to as well: it does get better.
While I really do prefer to stomp in the mud sometimes or wear leather regularly, I admit, muddy boots or full leather won’t quite work in the office (giggle). Fortunately, I won’t have to dress like this, either. A relaxed dress code doesn’t require coat & tie for daily office wear where I’m going.
However, dress slacks and shirts with a collar are required. Fine, I can live with that as long as I don’t have to wear a noose very often, or a restrictive, hot jacket. Face it, as I have said often on this blog, I’m a jeans-n-boots-n-leather kinda guy.
Anyway, as a present to myself, I looked for a pair of new dress cowboy boots to wear to work when I start. I have always liked Lucchese Classics, but their prices were beyond what I wanted to pay. I mean, $700 for a pair of cowboy boots that look identical to a pair that cost 1/3 as much?
I know there is a quality difference, but I just didn’t want to pay that much for boots. However… as I surfed around, I found a pair of Lucchese Classic cowboy boots in dark grey that were on a close-out. I picked ’em up for a really great price. I ordered them on a Wednesday and they were delivered on Friday, with no charge for shipping.
The only thing was that these boots were one-half size larger than I usually wear. That’s fine — I bought a pair of Dr. Scholl’s gel insoles and put them in the boots. The insoles take up the extra room and make the boots very comfortable for all-day wear.
So… I’m well-booted for work… can’t wait to start….
Life is short: wear boots to work!
This image is all Bamaboy’s fault. All his fault. Oh my has he influenced me.
He is known for his stunning photographic and Photoshop skills. I am among the few fortunate men to have met him and enjoy a wonderful friendship with a smart, witty, great guy.
But man oh man, has he influenced me. I ride by a stream or river, and the boots jump in the mud. As Bama says, “hahahahahaha!”
Life is short: share joy of great friendships.
[by the way, the boots clean up well when hosed off…]
Google provides me great “blog fodder.” That is, ideas for things to post on this blog. When people search questions like “what to wear with motorcycle boots” and it comes up high in the rankings and lands visitors on this blog, I see that… so I respond. (Be assured, I don’t know who is asking; I only see the question.)
So, what do guys wear with motorcycle boots? The #1 choice, of course, is blue jeans. Usually Levis or Wranglers… just plain old jeans. Nothin’ fancy. Blue jeans and biker boots go well together, and present confidence. Nothing looks better than tough boots on a secure man.
Guys also wear other clothes with motorcycle boots. After blue jeans, guys wear leather with biker boots. Leather jeans, or chaps over jeans. This is common attire in cool weather among confident, secure men. (Unfortunately, not that many men have the confidence to wear leather jeans in public. They fret too much about what others may say. Their loss…).
A third choice is breeches. Cloth motor breeches are worn by motorcycle cops, and other guys, too. These pants are made specifically to be worn while operating a motorcycle. They are comfortable, stretch in the right places, and provide protection as well as look good — especially with tall patrol boots. Few non-cops choose to wear motor breeches, which is a shame. Guys look good in them.
Regular guys don’t wear shorts with motorcycle boots, because they know that wearing shorts while operating a motorcycle is an open invitation to incurring serious injury.
Do gay guys who wear motorcycle boots choose different clothing to wear with them than straight guys? Nope. I speak from personal knowledge. After all, I’m a guy, a biker, and I like to wear motorcycle boots. And I’m gay. I dress like everyone else. There’s no difference, and those who claim that there is a difference have much to learn.
Life is short: wear boots!
Today, September 20, marks the end of a string of a dozen birthdays in my family that began on my twin and my birthday, August 16, and ends today on my little sister’s birthday (as well as a niece’s birthday, too.) After all, a dozen of us are Christmas presents and New Year’s surprises.
It’s been one party after another for the past five weeks, but enjoyable each time I get to see my wonderful, robust, raucous brethren. It is truly special to be part of a family of 15 kids, zillions of nieces, nephews, and “greats.” Unlike so many drama drivel shows on TV, I can honestly say that we all love one another and care for each other. I am truly blessed that my family remains close, caring, and loving. I know there are families out there that are not, when some families make an issue of a sibling who is gay. I am glad I am not “the gay brother.” I am “the brother who happens to be gay.”
Pictured below is me with two of my sisters. See? Can’t tell that we’re related. The sister on the left had me convinced that my “real” father was the milkman.
Happy birthday, “little” sis! I love you, always.
Life is short: cherish your family.
Networking is an old term. Some call it “shmoozing” and others call it other things, but the old axiom is true: it’s not what you know, it’s who you know, that gets you a job (speaking of the profession in which I work).
I’m really not the social sort. If I had a choice of going to a reception at the end of a long day, I often would skip it and go home. I have attended hundreds of conferences, and again, at the end of a long day of conferencing, I’d go back to my hotel room and go to bed early rather than go out to a late dinner with other conference attendees and “network.”
However, there is power in developing a large circle of people who not only know you’re name, but also know your skills, abilities, and interests. Over many years, I would spend quality time with people in both professional settings (teaching, public speaking, collaborating on projects, etc.) and socially (off-times during conferences or training sessions, mostly.) They would get to know me and I would get to know them. We would keep in touch, though the frequency of contact varied.
Such was the case with me these past few months. I was laid off from my job on June 4. I saw it coming, and accepted it as a fait accompli. I felt that my calling had changed from working to earn an income at a job that simply was that — a job — to caring for my elderly aunt who needed a lot more help and attention and my “job” was to do everything in my power to enable her to live safely, comfortably, and well.
So throughout June, July, and August, I concentrated on helping my aunt get through a serious health crisis where she could have died. I spent many hours every day organizing a lot things required to enable her to live in her own home, yet have professional caregivers with her 24/7. Even though she has caregivers with her all the time now, it still requires lots of my time to keep her fridge and pantry stocked, meds updated, visiting and keeping her mind active, and to attend to minor but serious problems like skin infections and other things.
Throughout my layoff time, I would occasionally visit an on-line job board to see if there was something I was interested in doing. I applied for some jobs, but none of these positions would invoke my passions. If I were hired for one of these jobs, it would pay the bills, but I just would be going through the motions of doing what I had to do. Not much fun….
Well, anyway, I also kept up the networking through the summer. Posts on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social networking sites, as well as direct email, telephone conversations, and so forth kept the word out that I wanted to return to my profession and do what I am recognized for on the national stage.
It was one of those people who led me to learning about a position that is perfect for me. A Facebook friend sent me a link to a description of my perfect job — on my birthday no less (great timing, huh?). The job description was posted on another social network, LinkedIn.
I submitted my resume, and got a call within an hour to set up an interview. The first interview led to a second. The second interview led to a real-time test of how I applied my skills during an exercise.
I had stiff competition for this position. I put out a call to my network for references, and was overwhelmed to receive over 70 thoughtful, thorough replies. I had four professional references from top-notch people written for me on request, as well. My references (also developed through years of networking) really pulled for me and helped convince them to make me an offer for what will be my dream job: in my field, and something about which I am exceptionally passionate about.
I begin my new job on Oct. 4 November 22 (changed, thanks to how slow bureaucracy is), and will be working with people who I have known professionally for years. Great thing about it is that it’s an absolutely perfect match for my skills and passions. It’s also right in my home town, so the commute will be simple.
So I am here to say that I was wrong — just a year ago I was writing here with a “bah-humbug” attitude about Facebook and social networking in general. But I acknowledge that without that contact, I probably wouldn’t have known about this job and wouldn’t have applied, been interviewed, or gotten such a generous offer.
Life is short: network! (including social networking, too!)
Another amusing question entered into Google and directed to my website: “Where to wear cowboy boots?” The person was from Connecticut, in the northeastern United States, where cowboy boots are seldom seen.
So, where do you wear cowboy boots? Wherever you please. Cowboy boots look good with Wranglers, especially. But they also work with business clothes. Even suits. Yes, men wear boots with a variety of attire, from casual to dressy.
As shown, I wore a pair of dress cowboy boots to an interview for a job. Yes, the boots were noticed, but in a nice way. The boss complimented me on them. But he and the interview team were much more concerned with what I brought to the company and how I would be able to do the job. They didn’t care what was on my feet. So if you have concerns what people would think about you wearing boots in the workplace: forget about it. It really doesn’t matter. Those type of concerns are in your head. Get over it.
Lots of guys in places other than the traditional locations where cowboy boots are worn more regularly by men — as in the U.S. Southwest — wear cowboy boots. That is if they are confident, secure, and don’t have hang-ups about other people’s perceptions.
As I so often say, issues about where to wear cowboy boots are more in the head of the one asking that question than actually among those who the person sees on a day-to-day basis.
Life is short: have confidence to be secure enough to wear boots where you like, and with clothing suited what you’re doing — going to work, out to eat, visiting friends, shopping, or whatever.
A biker buddy sent me the following quip at the end of an email:
Remember, put off to tomorrow what you should have done today and ride!
That’s a nice thought… just go for a ride and say, for a day, “to heck with responsibilities.”
…heh heh heh, … I wish. It’s just not within me to blow off caring for my aunt or getting other work done on a Saturday when my partner is available to help. Much as I would have enjoyed going for a ride instead of doing chores and caring for my aunt, as I so often do, I chose the latter instead of the former.
Life is short: do what you have to do, and dream:
