Cyber-Bashing

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It is rather sad, but not uncommon these days, that various forums on the ‘net allow anyone to register and use a pseudonym to say things that they would never say in public or if they had to reveal their true identity.

Sometimes these thoughtless dolts link to my website, and say…

… the most insulting, silly, stupid things. You think I don’t see that? Well, I have to keep on top of behavior like that, so I can operate my website and this blog responsibly, as well as know when someone may be engaging in bandwidth theft (that is, linking directly to an image from my website, making it appear as if the image is on another website when it actually is coming from mine. I block that kind of stuff.)

There are some rather nifty software tools available these days that give me reports on such activities, so I can act as necessary. The actions may be to change certain things on my website to obfuscate, confuse, and redirect this behavior.

I wish I did not have to do those types of things. I do not have to do it often, thankfully. However, during last week and early this week, there were a bunch of really negative noodles who felt that behaving as a child was the thing to do. So sad, really; I pity them.

These behaviors — posting negative comments and linking to my website or this blog — are a form of “cyber-bashing.” Again, it is a way for cowards to get by with saying things that they wouldn’t say if we knew who they were. But being cowards, they resort to this behavior as a way to vent their frustrations and express their twisted beliefs. All I can say is that I pray for their souls (if they have one.) Otherwise, I make changes as necessary on my website and move on.

Life is short: remember what your Momma told you, “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Comfort of Snakeskin Boots

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Someone entered a question into a search engine which landed on my website. The question was, “how comfortable are snakeskin boots?”

And the answer is…

… it varies. The comfort of a boot to a guy’s feet is determined by what is on the inside of the boot, not the outer skin. Perhaps the person who asked this question didn’t realize that. Or, perhaps he did and thought that different manufacturers of snakeskin boots may be more comfortable than others.

I will address the question both ways.

Well-constructed cowboy boots will have an insole made of materials that provide comfort to the foot — usually a cushion comfort pad made of composite materials. The boots will also have a steel shank that is embedded in the sole of the boot. That shank adds support (particularly good for high arches) which makes the boot more comfortable to wear. The inside of the boot’s foot will also have enough room for your foot to spread out — it happens naturally when you walk and apply weight to your foot as you move along.

Boots feel uncomfortable when your foot cannot flex as you walk, or if it feels as if you are walking on rocks. A boot’s supplied insole should be thick enough to provide some cushioning to the bottom of the foot. Further, if the boot’s foot is sized appropriately for your foot, there should be enough room to insert an added insole, such as Dr. Scholl’s gel insoles. These insoles add significantly to the comfort of the boot.

Notice in this description, I am talking about what is inside the boot — not the outer skin that is visible to you and others who look at your boots. Comfort of a boot has nothing to do with the outer skin.

It is the manufacturer of a boot that makes a big difference in the comfort. I have described how I rate comfort of boots in a previous blog post, here. My ratings are my own observations. I have observed that cowboy boots made by Lucchese, Dan Post, Nocona, Justin, and Tony Lama, are comfortable. Boots made by Acme, Cowtown, and Sendra, for example, are not (to me). But a word of caution — each person feels comfort in different ways. Just because I listed a manufacturer (or not) on this blog about comfortable boots should not be taken as an absolute. I do not describe anything about certain manufacturers because I do not own any boots made by them — Laredo is an example.

Generally speaking, look for these features in a cowboy boot. Each feature adds to comfort and quality:

  • Pegged soles
  • Steel shank in the insole
  • Sewn-on, not glued, soles
  • Ample room inside the foot to add an additional insole if you want
  • Flexible outsole (that is, the bottom of the boot)
  • Wide enough calf circumference for air to be able to circulate around your lower leg (so the boots do not feel hot.)
  • Not previously worn — used boots conform to another guy’s feet, then harden that way. You may or may not find used boots comfortable. It varies.

To summarize, snakeskin boots are — or are not — as comfortable as any other boot. It’s not what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that counts.

Life is short: know and wear quality boots.

39 Years of Caroling Craziness

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This past Saturday afternoon, my partner told me that he knew that my usual “old neighborhood” Christmas caroling event and party was being held that night, and he wanted me to go. He heard me tell a friend on the phone that I was not going to attend it this year because I did not want to leave my partner’s side when he was not feeling well.

My partner would have none of it. “Go! You need to do this!” After some more conversation and assurance that my partner would be okay, I agreed. I was especially relieved when a sister offered to come over and stay with my partner while I was gone. (I sure have a wonderfully supportive family!) Off I went…

39 years ago when I was a young wascally wabbit in junior high school, a group of my classmates who lived in my neighborhood decided to go Christmas caroling. We took it so seriously. We had printed lyrics to over 40 tunes. We got together for weeks in advance to rehearse. We sang our hearts out.

We had so much fun, and our parents enjoyed sharing the joy with us, that we kept doing it. All through high school. Then when we graduated, we challenged each other that we would return to sing next year… and we did. And we did and we did and we did and we did… every.single.year since 1972. Amazing.

These days, our singing is far worse than it was 39 years ago. Our tolerance of cold weather is far less. Our disabilities show… standing for an hour is long enough. I really don’t know how we did it in four-hour stretches on multiple nights back in the day … ahhh… the enthusiasm of youth.

One of my former classmates bought his parent’s house. Same neighborhood where we grew up, next door to the house in which I grew up. This is where we stage our current antics, and party afterwards. Sixteen of “the originals” attended Saturday night, including five of them who live in distant cities but flew back just for this event. Our group warmly welcomed spouses and several children — and even a few grandchildren — of our original group. All told, 42 of us became carolers Saturday night. What a blast!

A few years ago, we decided to do our caroling for the parents of our classmates where they live now, rather than go door-to-door in the old ‘hood — whose residents we no longer know since most homes have changed owners at least once if not more. (Though the woman who babysat for me and my siblings still lives there, so on my request, we sang a couple songs for her. That was sweet — and she still makes the best tollhouse cookies on the planet!)

We make arrangements to visit the parents of some of our classmates who live in one of two retirement communities in the area. We met at our friend’s house and then drove over — carpool style in a VW bus (memories of old days; a classmate restored one) — as well as more current minivans and yuppiemobiles.

We sang three Christmas carols in one place; four in the other. Once again, my friends asked me to sing Tu scendi dalle stelle which means You Come Down From The Stars. It is an old Italian folk song, sung at Christmas. My singing this is tradition — but I so miss my twin brother’s harmonizing voice!

Perhaps our visits in each location were brief, but the joy was huge. We laughed, smiled, and shared memories. It was so good to see some of my classmates in person who I only interact with occasionally on Facebook these days. Their children learned that their parents weren’t the stodgy old farts that they appear to be today!

This is such a fun holiday tradition that we never want to end. I am glad that I was able to make it. It surely rekindled my Christmas spirit.

Oh, what did I wear? The usual… nice pair of leather jeans, comfortable boots to stand in (Chip Firefighters), denim shirt, and a warm leather motorcycle jacket (my Taylor’s). No big deal, and consistent with my usual attire of many years in doing this.

Life is short: share joy of your roots. Merry Christmas!

Peaceful

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My partner had an uneventful day yesterday, and felt good enough to help me finish decorating the house for Christmas. We put up our Christmas tree and put up the lights visible from the street.

I had four senior pals stop by to help decorate the tree — two are Jewish, one is Muslim, and one is Hindu. I enjoy sharing our traditions and they share their traditions with me. It’s great living in such a multicultural area.

This is a photo that I took last night of our house, at an angle so you can see both the Christmas lights as well as the full moon rising. It was a fantastic, yet peaceful, sight.

Life is short: share joy.

Priority Number One

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This time of year is always a challenge with events leading up to Christmas. Requests to attend parties, visits with family and friends who come to town to visit their family, and my ongoing focus on my senior pals, all have demands on a limited supply of time. And that’s not to mention decorating our house, which is something my partner truly enjoys as he likes to have our house looking cheery, particularly to brighten the spirits of his mother who spends Christmas with us.

However, I have had a wake-up call to the demands of my time and priorities for something far more critical…
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Cuffed Comfort

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Once again, guys… not what you think (LOL!)

A couple years ago, Shane from Eastern Oregon Leather contacted me and I learned about the products that he makes — superbly-designed and hand-made wrist cuffs. I received a cuff from him back then, and have continued to wear it regularly. And now, I have a new one…

A few weeks ago, I was looking for a watch band. I remembered that Eastern Oregon Leather makes wrist cuffs to which you can attach a watch. I visited the website and in addition to getting a watch band, I also bought a thick black double-buckle wrist cuff.

When do I wear it? Every day. Seriously. It’s not just an accessory. It helps keep my wrist in line so when I type, which is something I do for hours every day, it prevents me from bending my wrist funny and getting carpal tunnel syndrome. I have some colleagues who have rather bad cases of carpal tunnel — and I want to avoid that.

Wearing a wrist cuff helps keep my wrists straight, and it also looks cool. I highly recommend them!

Visit the website of Eastern Oregon Leather and get one (or more) for yourself!

Oh, where’s the watch band? Well… I need to go to a jeweler and have him get my watch attached to the band for me, since the watch is missing some parts that make that connection.

Life is short: know quality when you see it — and wear it!

The Lovely Office Christmas Parties

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Yep, it’s that time of year again… Branch holiday gathering at a bowling alley, Division holiday breakfast, agency holiday festival, not to mention several invitations from family and friends for various gatherings… yuggghhhh. (I don’t know what “yuggghhhh” really means, but it sounds descriptive of how I feel about these things.)

Will I be going to the work-related events?

Yep; have to. My absence would be conspicuously noticed. Do I want to go? Not really. So what do I do? Suck it up and go. Here are my adaptations on the “yuppie/guppie*” recommendations for attending work-related holiday events.

1. Dress like I dress for work–comfortable slacks or khakis, collared dress shirt, no tie, no sport coat. For after-work events, then I will wear comfy leather jeans and a denim shirt. No sweater. I don’t wear sweaters because they make me look 10x larger than I really am. What’s on my feet? Good-looking cowboy boots, of course. Nothing less.

2. Take a couple Excedrin because that helps me endure the discomfort with the requisite hour or two of standing. Even if chairs are available, if most people are standing and speaking with one another, I stand too.

3. Show up on time. This is an office party, not a casual “show up whenever” event. Co-workers and the bosses notice if you are late to work events.

4. Smile, and greet people warmly. I try to meet people who I do not know. While it is easier to hang out with people in my immediate work group, and who I like, it is strategically better to circulate and meet other people who I do not know, or know as well. I never know if having a casual chit-chat conversation may lead to something better for me in the future. I’m told that I have a nice smile, so I use it. (It is not a fake “I am soooo happy-to-be-here” kinda smile, either.)

5. Keep the conversation to non-controversial topics. The weather, local happenings, concern about a common acquaintance, activities we enjoy in common, and so forth. I don’t talk about sports because I do not have a clue, and I do not want to come across as a complete ignoramus. I do not talk about religion or politics, either. No one will agree on anything about either subject, so I avoid those topics at all costs.

6. Eat if food is provided, but in moderation. Don’t be first in the buffet line, don’t be last. Don’t pile the plate high as if you haven’t eaten in a week. With my desire to maintain (or not gain) weight, I avoid the sweets as best I can, as well. I also politely but firmly decline offers of alcohol. It is easier these days to say, “thanks, but I don’t drink alcohol. I’ll be happy with water or juice.”

7. For the bowling event, dodge requests to join a group to bowl. I don’t bowl, and would be embarrassed to display my complete ineptitude. I don’t even know how to keep score. I’ll say, “I am happy to be your cheerleader, but I don’t bowl.” If pressed, I may make a polite excuse about a recent back strain that makes it painful for me to try to lift a heavy ball and throw it down a bowling lane. I will not say, but clearly feel, that wearing bowling shoes is against my personal principles and I wouldn’t “go there.” (Seriously, dorky-looking bowling shoes? Really? No way!)

8. Leave as early as I can exit, graciously. That is, not first, but certainly not last. Most people understand when you say that you have things you have to do, or in my case for evening events, be home by my 9pm self-curfew. I do not invent stories (which if checked can catch you in a lie). I just say as tactfully as I can that it’s time for me to go, then I leave.

These events are supposed to be happy, pleasant times with colleagues — not a drudge, though many (including myself) can feel that way about them. Make the best of it. It’s sorta like, “do what you gotta do” and most people appreciate the effort.

Oh, and the next day… visit with the organizers of the event and thank them for the time and effort that they put into making the event happen. Thank the bosses or anyone who paid for the food and drink. Then follow-up with a brief email to the organizers, too. The time you take to thank people is noticed because that seldom happens.

Life is short: do what you gotta do!

* N.B.: “Yuppie” — derived from Young Upcoming Professional, or YUP. Derogatory 80s term to describe a ‘new breed’ of young, wealthy people, typically successful in business and not afraid to flaunt it in a fashion which particularly irritates non-yuppies (like the author of this blog).

“Guppie” — a gay yuppie. “I live in a nice, big apartment, do what I want to do, have a great job, travel, eat out when I feel like it, no kids. High disposable income. and my mom LOVES my boyfriend.”

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Do Insecure Guys Turn Gay?

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I thought I had seen everything, but perhaps not. Another question entered into a search engine, “do insecure guys turn gay?” landed on this blog for my post titled, Why Are Gay Men Insecure? (which was a deliberately misleading title.)

Oh cripes… short answer: NO! Insecure guys cannot “turn gay!” Longer answer…

This is bullshit stereotyping. Some men are insecure, and perhaps they display characteristics that some people confuse with outwardly visible characteristics of some (not all, but some) gay men. Some of the observed behaviors may include being overly accommodating, overly selfish, and having low self-esteem.

Someone who is overly accommodating attempts to gain the approval of other people by bending over backwards for them. He goes out of his way to do things for other people he admires and from whom he wants approval. There is a fine line here — it’s perfectly normal to try to help someone out, but there is a limit when accommodating others jeopardizes one’s self-esteem and imposes incredible demands on a guy’s time, talents, and resources.

Someone who is overly selfish attempts to find security by surrounding himself with possessions, accolades, and attention. Getting approval from others is paramount. That is why an insecure guy tends to obsess about what he wears — so as to obtain approval from others he admires. That’s also why some insecure guys buy expensive yuppie-mobiles, for example, or play “keep up with the Joneses” by buying the latest techie gadget.

These characteristics, in my opinion, come down to one’s self-perception. If a guy has low self-esteem, then he fears how he appears and comes across to others. He is uncomfortable in his own skin. He does things to try to improve his feelings and self-described situation by behaving in ways that others may label as being insecure.

Self-assurance, that is, the reduction of insecurity, comes with maturity. Maturity is not necessarily a function of age. I know some very mature young men, and some immature old men.

The notion I am here to disabuse is what some straight people think: “Gay = Insecure,” so in the reverse (for purposes of this blog post), the perception is that “Insecure = Gay.” This is not true.

Some men are insecure. Not all of them are gay. Heck, there are a large number of insecure straight men in this world — I see them every day in what I do for a living as well as what I do in my community. Okay, they will eventually learn (I hope so, anyway), that one of the greatest challenges we face in our lifetimes is becoming comfortable in our own skin. A person who is secure with himself is much more likely to achieve success, have meaningful relationships, and be respected by others.

Some men are gay. One is born gay — he can’t “turn gay” by having insecurities, or fears about perceptions from others. In fact, I contend that a gay man who becomes comfortable with himself displays fewer characteristics of insecurity than a gay guy who is still in the closet. When a gay man withholds disclosure of his sexual orientation from others (for various reasons), he may be afraid of “being outted” by others, and that fear manifests itself in displays of behaviors labeled as insecurity.

To summarize — no, insecure guys cannot “turn gay.” One is or is not gay to begin with at birth. It is how he acts and behaves that cause others to judge him, and mix up false perceptions based on stereotype with a guy’s sexual orientation.

Life is short: be who you are; your confidence reduces feelings of insecurity.

Disclaimer: I have a doctorate in sociology; sometimes I get rather academic in sharing my observations.

Not All Harness Boots Are the Same

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A new pair of Double H Harness boots came into my life recently. These boots are pictured here on the right, next to a pair of favorite Chippewa Harness boots.

While both manufacturers make the boots in the USA, that is about the end of what they have in common (besides general design).

What are the differences that would affect a purchase choice?

First, the overall height. The Double H boots are stated at 10 inches while the Chips are 12″.

Next, the Double H boot shafts are really narrow. I mean “squeeze-on/pull-hard” narrow. You really must have excellent flexibility in the ankle to point the toes and foot into the boot and you have to pull real hard to get them on. Once the boots are on, they fit fine, although you can feel the Double H boot shafts rubbing the lower legs. They are that tight.

Next, Double H boots are unlined, while the Chippewa Harness boots have a leather lining. That lining makes the boots much more comfortable, durable, and solid.

Finally, the soles are different. The Double H boots have a solid rubber sole, but they are not Vibram soles — the best in the industry — which Chippewa boots have applied at the factory.

While Double H harness boots are less expensive, the old adage, “you get what you pay for” clearly applies. Double H takes shortcuts in manufacture. The shorter height and the narrower shaft means less leather. The lack of a leather lining and narrow circumference of the boot shaft makes them much less comfortable.

In my opinion, Double H boots are not what they used to be. Chippewa has maintained much better standards in boot manufacture.

I’m not a paid spokes-bootman. I just relate what I feel and observe. I still feel that boots made in the USA are far superior to similar-style boots made in China, such as those under the Harley-Davidson license. H-D does not make those boots, but contracts with a company that engages cheap labor and uses low-quality materials.

Here is a video that I made where I describe the differences of three brands of harness boots — Chippewa, Boulet, and Double H. You can see what I am talking about in the vid. Enjoy!

Life is short: wear quality boots, and know what you’re getting.

Stretching Before Riding

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Man, it’s hell getting old.

Saturday was bright and sunny, though rather cold. It was in the low 40s (F — 5.5C) on Saturday afternoon when I decided to leather up and ride my Harley to run some errands. I want to ride when I can, before the crap is spread on the roads when they may get icy.

Anyway, I checked the bike over for safety issues as I always do, mounted and took off.

Each time I mount and dismount my Harley, I have to lift my leg rather high to get on the bike and off of it. Honestly, the height of my motorcycle’s seat has always been difficult for me to get over, especially since I cannot swing my leg over the back of the seat since the Tourpak and back rest is in the way.

During my day’s errands, I stopped at various places along the way — a senior pal’s to check on her recovery from surgery, another senior friend who needed a light repair job done in her kitchen, and my Harley dealership to pick up a part.

Unfortunately, I must have swung my leg in the wrong direction and strained a muscle in my lower back at one of the times that I mounted or dismounted the bike. I woke yesterday morning barely able to move. I managed to get up, get dressed, and go with my partner to do our weekly grocery shopping. That was not much fun, as I was in pain and his temper was brittle.

We made it home and I took the rest of the day off. Well, I cooked a batch of soup and pasta sauce, but for me, that’s essentially doing nothing.

I will not take drugs except over-the-counter pain relievers. My partner gave me a massage and we sat in our hot tub for a while. Went to bed early… I sure hope this resolves by itself. I hate going to doctors, especially for something for which they can’t do much.

I learned a lesson: I need to stretch before I get on my bike each time I prepare to ride it. Stretching perhaps could have prevented the strain that occurred.

Life is short: relent to aging; I ain’t gettin’ any younger.