I wrote a post on February 6 titled, “Normative Masculinity” which provided my comments about an academic research study about Western male “hegemonic” masculinity. I invited comments or questions.

I received two interesting email messages about that post, both of which asked, “do guys wear boots to appear more masculine, especially gay guys?”

I have thought about that matter a lot over the years. Readers of this blog know that I represent the intersection of a regular boot-wearing guy and a guy who happens to be gay.

As a gay man, do I wear boots to appear to others as being “more” masculine?

…Not really. I behave in a masculine manner because that is how I am. Just a guy. I like how I am, and do not like effeminate mannerisms in men. That is my preference. My partner is a masculine man, too. While the gay community is diverse, and I value what makes all of us different, I have my preferences, likes, and dislikes, just like anyone else. I am not saying that gay men who behave with effeminate mannerisms are bad or wrong. Those behaviors are not my preference. That’s all.

Yeah, I ride a motorcycle and would never think about wearing any form of footwear other than durable, sturdy, well-constructed boots with soles that provide good traction. To me, wearing sneakers (or worse, sandals) while operating a motorcycle is an invitation to injury (as well as silly-looking). But does the fact that I ride a motorcycle while wearing motorcycle boots have anything to do with my sense of masculinity? No, again–not really. I know a lot of women who ride motorcycles while wearing boots, too. And they are very feminine women — so bikes and boots go together regardless if the boot-wearer is male or female, masculine or feminine.

Some guys refrain from wearing boots because they are influenced by what some other people say or from what they see/read on the Internet — or worse — by what they *think* other people may say about them wearing boots. These guys read comments or see things about gay men who express fetish (sexual) interests with boots. To avoid having any of those observed fetish activities be linked to them, some guys bad-mouth boots because of their aversion to being linked in any way to anything that may be considered “gay.”

That type of thinking is very sad. It shows, to me, that some guys are insecure and uncomfortable with their sexuality, and therefore take on a more masculine bravado and exhibit behaviors perceived to be more masculine to cover up or hide their insecurities. Some of these guys express themselves (sometimes by writing rude comments under pseudonyms) on YouTube videos, for example, because to them, acting out in this way makes them feel tougher — an act, not reality.

Back to the topic at hand (or at my feet, so-to-speak): do some gay guys wear rugged boots to appear more masculine? Well, perhaps some of them do — particularly those who are still in the closet about their same-sex orientation. Some of these guys choose to wear clothing, particularly boots, to throw others off the track. “Hey, that dude’s in boots. He must be straight.”

That kind of thinking is all bullcrap.

I could ramble on more and more, but I think you get the point. What a guy wears is not directly connected to his sexuality. Wearing boots does not make a guy more — or less — masculine. What he wears is connected to his inner sense of style and comfort. Some guys truly like to dress up in a suit, tie, and dress shoes. They like their appearance that way. I’m a guy who likes to dress in clothing that to me is much more comfortable — jeans, boots, flannel shirts (in winter), t-shirts (in summer), and leather shirts and jeans, too. That is just how I am, the original “booted man.”

Life is short: know yourself.

I found a very interesting academic research article titled, “Searching for the Gay Masculinity” which said, in part:

[There are] three types of masculinity. The first type is normative, or hegemonic masculinity. Hegemonic masculinity is the dominant form in a given society. In a Western context hegomonic masculinity is defined as a white, straight, upper middle class, college educated, gainfully employed, Protestant, father, of good complexion, weight, and height, and a recent record in sports. Although this is the ultimate goal, and the standard by which most men measure their own sense of masculinity, very few men actually fit all of these categories. Thus, most men feel like failures with respect to their gender. This sense of failure, leads to an unstable masculine gender identity.

The second type of masculinity discussed in the piece is subversive masculinity. Certain groups of men are in complete opposition to the hegemonic form. These men include those in ethnic minority groups, gay men, and men whoose religion is marginalized, such as Jewish men. These men are forced to develop a gender identity that is completely separate from that of the hegemonic form, this identity is known as subversive masculinity.

The article gives a number of things to think about. Over the next few blog posts, I will explore some of these issues.

Much research, both quoted in this article and in many other academic studies, states that “masculinity is inherently linked with the institution of heterosexuality. The concept of gender implicitly refers to sexuality and the roles one assumes within that sexuality.” Further, much research has stated, “gender is a construct of our interactions with society.” What I have said in simpler words is that boys are taught from a very young age what are considered “appropriate” gender roles and behaviors. As much as we think that today we are a much more “open” and “flexible” society, the “role training” is so ingrained in adult behavior, that while a father might say that “he doesn’t mind” if his young son helps his mother make cookies, that same father is playing sports with his son and encouraging his daughter to play with dolls. Face it; it’s reality.

Human sexuality can also refer to the way someone is sexually attracted to another. Boys are taught that they should be attracted to the opposite sex. Interactions of boys with other boys are restricted to play — usually sports — which are considered appropriately normative masculine behaviors.

Physical closeness of boys with other boys is restricted or reduced by direct intervention and sometimes by comments from respected elders (parents, family, teachers, and so forth.) It is common to hear a parent say things to a boy about what is considered “correct” behavior when they interact with other boys. Thousands and thousands of these comments and actions are demonstrated by parents and respected elders during the years of a boy’s development. No wonder when a boy becomes a man and realizes that he has a same-sex sexual orientation, he naturally becomes very confused about his personal identity. His gender identity has been applied to him over many years, and changing his own perception of his sexual identity through self-realization is a slow and difficult process unto itself — not to mention the huge external pressures applied by ongoing interaction with other adults important to a guy’s personal perceptions and growth.

This is why “coming out” is so hard for gay men. They are taught, expected, and essentially forced by society to repress thoughts, fantasies, and actions that indicate a same-sex preference. When a male identifies his sexual orientation as being male-male, he is challenging the world-view imposed upon him.

How does a gay guy reconcile these challenges, especially when confronted with stereotyped masculinity?

Check back for a future blog post about that, or comment here with your thoughts for me to consider for a future post.

Life is short: understand all of the dynamics that compose what makes you, “you.”