Yearly Archives: 2010

Combining Passions

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Yesterday was a day of service in the United States, where to honour the memory and ideals of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., we are encouraged to take time to serve others. Both my partner and I had the day off from work as a holiday.

The day began with the early arrival of our friendly Man in Brown (UPS delivery) where I received a pair of Berliner Riding Pants made by 665 Leather of West Hollywood, California.

I quickly changed into the riding pants and put on my 665-made grey leather shirt. They made a great combination and felt wonderful with tall Wesco patrol boots!

Side note: I have always said that when you’re having leather gear custom made, to give the maker a call and discuss your interests. These riding pants are different from what is usually offered because I prefer a zip fly (instead of snaps), tighter closure at the leg opening (like breeches so I can wear them with tall boots over them), and a higher rise at the waist, so they will fit me better. If you want something made the way you will like it so you will wear it more, then by all means, call the maker and discuss options. Doing that will result in a product from which you will enjoy a lifetime of wear.

When we rose at 6am, I had prepared Cialda (waffles) for my partner and me. I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, then mounted my Harley and rode to a food bank where I volunteered for about six hours, helping them to sort out donations, clean up, and repair some broken shelving.

Turns out I was not the only guy who was wearing leather and boots while volunteering! A very nice guy was also wearing a pair of leather jeans and engineer boots (with a denim shirt.) He doesn’t ride a motorcycle, but he once did. He gave me his card and asked me to get in touch, as he is seriously interested in buying a motorcycle and getting back on the road. He was quite an enjoyable helper/companion for the day’s work.

It had warmed up to be a very pleasant day, with temperatures reaching 55°F (13°C) by mid-day when finished my shift and left. I rode for about 30 miles (48km) while enjoying the wonderful day. Ahhhh… boots, bike, and leather.

What a wonderful way to combine my passions of community service with riding my Harley fully geared.

Life is short: combine your passions!

Yet Another House

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I am not one to take advantage of the misfortunes of others, but there are times when people walk away from an investment, and banks and local governments intercede to take over ownership of properties.

Such was the case recently, once again, where I was notified that a house right next to one that I already own as an investment property was coming up for auction on a tax sale. The previous owners had disappeared and the county would accept a rather token offer plus back taxes and fees to dispose of the property.

I had been reading in the local newspaper and seeing spots on TV news that such “hot properties” were becoming involved in bidding wars, and like the hyperescalation of the housing market we observed in 2007, that investors and first-time buyers were competing with one another to bid at such auctions to acquire properties.

Because this house was right next to one that I already own, I was interested in it. Especially because there was great value at a very reasonable cost. I found a way to inspect it, and it had “very good bones.” While it was built in 1946, apparently someone along the way updated some of its features, plumbing, and electrical systems. It needs to have air conditioning installed (I can’t imagine how a house of that size in this area could still not have central A/C).

When the auction for this house was held, I expected to see a crowd, or throng, of investment bidders. I was very surprised that there were only two others going for this property. They didn’t know what they were doing. I only had to bid US$100 more than they did, and I won, upon presentation of a substantial cashier’s check. Of course, I had the “privilege” of going to the bank and drawing a cashier’s check for the remaining balance the same day. But it’s done, and the deed is now in my name! Oh boy! The house is in an established, livable, walkable, safe neighborhood. I will have to invest about US$50K to fix it up and bring it to current safety codes and standards, fix the landscaping, repair the driveway, have it sided (removing the crumbling clapboard) and install a new roof, but overall, it is worth it. Its assessed value is more than three times what I have and will put into it.

I have been spending some time going through it from attic to basement, from shed to under the front porch. I have been using an estimating program on my computer to determine just what needs to be done. Now I am determining what repairs I will do myself and what work I need to hire others to do. It’s a balance, but I have outgrown re-roofing houses, thanks. Or chopping out broken cement and replacing it with asphalt. I know how to do the work that is required, but my poor ol’ achin’ body isn’t that interested (or motivated) in doing such physical labor any more. Nor do I have the time to do all those things by myself.

Soon enough, the house will be properly renovated, and I will seek out a deserving servant of our community — law enforcement officer, firefighter, or teacher — and arrange a rental with them. These are the people who rent my other properties. I don’t get market rent, but I get great tenants, along with the good feeling of being able to provide affordable housing to the people who serve our community yet can’t afford to live here.

My partner thought I had lost my mind when I told him about this potential investment. However, once I got into it and we determined that the financial requirements were within our means, I “went for it.” You see, I don’t expect much from Social Security, 401K investments, retirement, or pension plans, so these houses are my “retirement fund.” Hey, if you can do it, do so! Considering the market, now is the time to invest if you can. Housing prices have, in my opinion, hit bottom. That’s why I moved quickly on this purchase.

Life is short: invest wisely!

Leather Weekend!

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It is Leather Weekend in Washington, DC! Time for Mid-Atlantic Leather. Alas, I did not participate in any of the MAL activities, either official or unofficial, such as the HotBoots gathering yesterday afternoon. I didn’t even travel more than a few kilometers from my home, out in the suburbs of the city (about 20km from downtown.)

In honour of Leather Weekend, even though I chose to do other things and not participate, I wore full leather commencing Friday evening and all through the weekend as I went about my daily life.

Saturday morning, I wore a short-sleeved leather shirt and leather jeans over Chippewa firefighter boots. When outdoors, I had a simple black motorcycle jacket on. I presided over a public meeting with my community group, followed by grocery shopping with my senior friends, then doing our own grocery shopping, too. I checked in on my lovely aunt and ran some errands, as well.

On Saturday afternoon, my partner felt well enough to put on some leather gear, and asked me to put on my LAPD leather uniform. We modeled our new wrist cuffs about which I blogged the other day. These cuffs have a great masculine appearance and feel great. My partner loves his, as I enjoy wearing mine. After taking some photos, we watched a movie at home. (Haven’t done that in a long time!)

Today I have a meeting with a state senator as we prepare his campaign re-election website, and I work with him on his bill regarding a requirement to use only hands-free mobile devices while driving — a perennial issue for me that our spineless state legislature can’t seem ever to pass out of committee despite the weighty evidence and studies about distracted driving.

Since rain will fall all day today, I have on my naked leather jeans, long-sleeved leather shirt, and lug-soled Wesco Harness boots that give good grip while walking on wet pavement.

After the meeting with my senator, I will change leathers to “more grubby” (such as an old pair of cheap leather jeans and shirt), change into Wesco Combat Boots, and get to work on renovating a house I bought a week ago.

I had a rather typical weekend. Busy with things I do in my regular life, but nothing special. I would like to have hung out at the MAL host hotel for a while and visit with friends who are in town for the special leather weekend; however, my partner is recovering from a set-back he had with his disability, and could not walk nor stand for more than a few minutes. I would not have left him at home while I went off to socialize with the booted leatherdudes, as doing so would make him feel bad, which is the last thing I would want to have happen.

Enjoy your leather! Wear it more often than once a year at MAL, hear?

Life is short: enjoy it in boots and leather.

Leather Belts

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I received an email the other day that asked, “I was wondering have you or your partner ever given someone a belt spanking.” (there were a number of typos and misspellings, but that is what was meant.)

It caused me to think (there I go again) … being a vanilla leatherman in a monogamous relationship with another of the same ….

I guess there are ongoing visual impressions, and perhaps misunderstandings, that anyone who wears leather gear — particularly the “old guard BLUF” style gear — enjoys carrying out or observing S&M activities, including hitting someone else with a belt, spanking, or such.

I am not saying that those who enjoy these types of activities are wrong or bad — BUT… my answer was:

“The only use that my partner and I have for a leather belt is to hold our pants up.”

…and that’s the truth.

Then the guy wrote back almost immediately and pursued with this statement, “no i ment for punishment” [sic]

My reply was rather terse, as I was becoming annoyed. I said:

“You did not understand me. We never have or ever will use a belt for punishment, period. That’s it. We don’t do that. We never have done that. We never will. The ONLY use we have for a belt is to hold our pants up. How can I be more clear?”

Generally, I try to be patient with people, but sometimes they just don’t get it. The writer may have other “issues” about which I am not aware. But that’s it. I do not intend to communicate with him again on this matter. If he cannot understand what I wrote, then there is little more that I can explain or do.

How many belts do I have? Six. I have owned most of them for so long that I do not remember where or when I got them. The belt that I wear most often is a standard western 2″ black leather belt — you know, the kind on which you can change buckles; one belt is a a brown version of the black western belt; one is a brown western belt with conchos; one is a garrison belt that I wear with uniforms; and one is a Sam Browne belt with shoulder strap that I also wear with uniforms; my last belt is a 2-1/2″ belt with pyramid studs on it, which I wear with leather jeans.

That’s it. I do not own any of those 1″ thin leather dress belts. I hate dressing up. My 2″ western belts work on my dress pants on the rare occasions I have to wear that garb.

I am rather boring when it comes to belts.

Life is short: keep your pants up (in public).

Partner, Husband, Spouse?

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I refer to the man of my life as my partner. We met on April 25, 1993, and began dating, seeing each other on weekends, then more often. We traveled within the U.S. where I brought him to states he had not previously visited before — twice long-haul on my Harley, two-up, saddlebags full of clothing. We traveled to Australia, New Zealand, and Europe together, including a wonderful (to me) and scary (to him) motorcycle trip on the windy roads of the Almafi Coast of Italy, and a very scenic trip on the Romantic Road in Bavaria, Germany.

Then he worked with me as I purchased an old farm that was to be developed, and I built it out while turning gray in the process. We built our dream house on one of the lots. This is our home where we have built our life, and plan to live here ’til we can’t climb stairs any more.

I think of him as my “best half,” which is a better reference than “other half.” And certainly a better reference than “boyfriend” which is far too casual. He is, to me, my heart, soul, and very essence of being. My soulmate, best friend, treasure, listener, cuddler, lover… all these words that function more than just as labels. He means the world to me.

We know gay men who have married in states where it is legal to do so in the United States, and some gay men where it is legal to do so in their respective countries. The state where we live isn’t “there yet” but may be… eventually.

For now, I refer to him as my partner. But that sounds so business-like. He is for all intents and purposes my spouse. But I have this funny feeling about calling him a husband should we marry some day when/if our state makes it legal to recognize a civil marriage ceremony and afford us the recognition and status that man/woman marriages provide, with all the rights and responsibilities thereto pertaining.

Funny, the other day, someone did a search on this blog for the word “wife.” As if I had one. The only thing that comes up in that search is references to my twin brother’s spouse — his wife. Sorry fellas who may think something-or-other, I have not had and never intend to have a marriage to a female and thus have a wife.

My partner is definitely a masculine man. He is everything a man could be, and more so. What a blessing it is to have him, to love him, and to call him my own. Calling him my spouse will be wonderful… someday.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them!

My Bro’, the Biker

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This is just a happy little note to congratulate, publicly, my former friend, AZ, for successfully completing the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Basic RiderCourseSM and passing with the highest score in his class.

I am a strong supporter of taking motorcycle riding courses, even for the experienced rider. There are always good pointers to learn, as well as information that one may not have known. The MSF courses are excellent, and come highly recommended!

Congrats! Keep the rubber side down and your sunny side up!

UPDATE: I spoke with AZ on the phone this morning, and he told me that he got the motorcycle endorsement on his driver’s license! Woo-hoo! All legal!

Life is short: share joy for others.Note: this photo was taken in February, 2009, when I rented a Harley and AZ joined me as a passenger for a ride to Sedona. We both wore DOT-approved helmets, even though Arizona does not have a helmet law. We believe in wearing proper protective gear, including sturdy motorcycle boots, each and every time we ride.

Cuffed

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This is a really cool, stylish, and exceptionally well-made wrist cuff that I just received. My partner also received one. When he’s feeling better, we both will “model” our cuffs together.

The wrist cuff is made by Eastern Oregon Leather Factory. The guy who owns the business and makes this gear is obviously very talented.

I received an email from the company owner last week, asking for permission to reprint a portion of my Complete Guide to Leather Gear which appears on my website. I responded, giving my permission. Now part of my Guide appears on the Eastern Oregon Leather Factory’s Website, here. I appreciate that he asked me, and honored my copyright. I am happy to share if I am asked. I commend the owner for doing the right thing and for his honesty.

Hey, leatherguys, or someone looking for something different, hand-made, and special. You should check out the products available from Eastern Oregon Leather Factory and get something. Great watchbands, cuffs, and bracelets, with more to come, I’m sure. The prices are very reasonable.

My partner and I are now the “best cuffed men” here in Maryland! (Smile — go tell that to my bike cop tenant. He will have a big laugh out of that!)

Life is short: share your work and enjoy the recognition of being published!

Why Not Mid-Atlantic Leather?

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Grey Black LeatherIt is time for the annual rites of leather passage, the second-largest U.S. gathering of The Great Leather Clan, at the gay men’s (and a few women) cowhide convention called “Mid Atlantic Leather” or for short, MAL. It is held in downtown Washington, DC, over the weekend of Martin Luther King’s Birthday Holiday. This year, January 15 – 18.

One would think that with the interest and vast assortment of leather gear that I have, including some just for fetish wear, that I would be anxious to attend MAL. It is in my hometown and the weather forecast is decent. It would not require all the expense and hassles of flying anywhere. As financially frugal as I am, that’s a good thing 🙂

I would like to see some people I know and meet some men with whom I have communicated by email. I have received a few invitations by email to meet some fellow Boot Brothers for dinner one night during MAL or a meal on Monday morning before they leave for their respective homes.

Regretfully, my partner’s disability has flared up severely. He is in a lot of pain and is immobile. His pain has grown worse over the last week, and he is in no shape to get around anywhere. I don’t go to events like MAL without him, so if he can’t go, I won’t go. My primary job will be to take care of him until he is back on his feet and able to walk.

Further, the problem with an event in your own hometown is that your own life doesn’t stop. I have a number of commitments over the weekend that are unavoidable. Plus, I have to admit, I hate trying to get around DC. It is hard to find a place to park, and now that they charge an arm, leg, and your first-born to park on the street, I don’t want to deal with it. (Public transit is not an option because it is too far away from MAL event locations for my partner to be able to walk to.)

My partner and I have enjoyed “guy watching” at MAL in years past. Some of the behavior I have seen at these gatherings of the Cowhide Clan are amusing. Many guys follow each other like lemmings, flitting hither-and-yon to the fetishwear expo, the events, and other non-published get-togethers. Many are texting and calling each other on their mobile devices. (I probably wouldn’t be allowed into MAL any more because I have no desire to carry a personal cell phone in a holster on my belt.)

One year, I took some focused-on-boots video of guys walking around the lobby of the host hotel, and received the most amusing rant from a closet queen demanding that I take the video off my YouTube channel. Sad but true, there are a lot of once-a-year leather dudes who go to MAL. But then again, it is a time of freedom to butch up in leather and be with other guys who share the same interest. I get it. I felt that way when I was younger, too. There is sort of a fantasy thrill to being decked out in leather from head to boot around all those guys in leather gear and sundry fetishwear.

Most guys are interesting to talk to, and have backgrounds and stories to which I have enjoyed listening. I could possibly visit the Hotboots party on Saturday afternoon (2-4pm, Green Lantern Bar), or afterwords sit out in the smokin’ tent and have a good discussion. I have done that for many years, and it’s been an enjoyable way to spend some time.

But… as I said above, I live with a man whom I love tremendously, and with whom I share a monogamous relationship, but who is having severe physical difficulties right now. My focus must be on him.

Life is short: have fun on the edge of leatherdom.

Like Your Boots Snug?

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I was exchanging email with someone who was asking me about being fitted for Wesco boots. Owning a number of pairs of Wescos, I have some experience that I was happy to share.

During our email exchange, he mentioned that he wanted his boots to be very snug (close) against his legs. He mentioned that with lace-up boots, it is easy to adjust the fit so they boots would be tight. Since he was considering ordering pull-on boots (like the Wesco Boss or Harness boots), he said that he thought having the boots lined with leather might make them more snug against his legs.

There are several things that I mentioned in reply, such as you will save a LOT of money ordering custom Wesco boots through a third-party retailer rather than the manufacturer.

I also described the “unfortunate” thing that happens to your legs as you age. I hate to say it, but as you get older, your legs will become wider and you may develop problems like vericose veins. Even if you work out regularly, your calf muscles begin to lose tone and expand. Just a little bit each year, and overall they don’t get too big, but by your late 40s or 50s, your legs will probably be 1 to 1-1/2″ wider in circumference than they were at age 30.

If you like “snug” boots and fit yourself snugly by providing very accurate but close measurements of your calf circumference in your Wesco order, you will find that your boots will outlive your ability to wear them. Eventually, your legs will get wider and you just won’t be able to squeeze them on. Your huge investment now will be rendered useless to you, and either you may not wear the boots any more or sell them and be lucky to get half of what you paid for them originally. (Believe me, I’ve “been there, done that.”)

My recommendation: even though Wesco doesn’t recommend it, I suggest adding 1/2″ to 1″ to your calf measurement on the custom sizing form. (The main reason in my opinion as to why Wesco doesn’t recommend adding to your calf width measurement is that they know that legs get bigger over time, and that snug boots now will become non-fitting boots later. Thus, Wesco may get another sale later on when your boots don’t fit you any more.)

Another thing to know about is a major and frequently overlooked (or not thought-about) matter: as you age, your become susceptible to DVT — deep vein thrombosis. This is where a clot forms in a vein in your leg due to poor circulation. The clot could break free and end up in the brain, causing a stroke, or in the heart, causing cardiac arrest. it’s very serious, and happens more often than people realize. It could happen to anyone, but those who smoke cigarettes or take medications that affect blood circulation (such as pain killers, blood pressure, or certain asthma drugs), are more at risk.

When you wear boots snugly on your legs, you are significantly increasing the “odds” of getting a clot, even at a younger age, because snug boots will reduce blood circulation in the legs and feet. When you take your boots off – BAM! A stroke! I know someone who was 41 years old and had this happen. It wasn’t pretty.

My personal recommendation is to get boots that allow room around your legs so they are not squeezed. Consider if you will be wearing leather breeches or jeans tucked inside the boots.

So be careful and cautious before choosing to make your boots snug tightly on your legs. Just a word of warning, in case you didn’t know.

Life’s Ultimate Final Exam

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I posted on this blog that the woman who served as my very first mentor had died on Christmas Eve. She took me under her wing when I was a 17-year-old deer-in-the-headlights, freshly-minted volunteer for a non-profit organization. She taught me more than I can relate here, or for that matter, more than you would ever want to read. This woman was 41 years older than me. In many respects, she was like another mother. But different from that. I’d say that at first she was a teacher, then she became a listener, she served as a helper, a guide, a leader … but most of all, a true friend. Together we formed a close bond of friendship that endured ’til the end of her life.

Yesterday, I had both the honor and the fear of serving as the person to give the eulogy at my dear friend’s memorial service. (Note, this is a different friend from the gentleman about whom I blogged on Friday. It is regretful that several deaths of people I have known and loved have happened recently).

One thing I want to bring up here on this blog, which I mentioned during my eulogy, was why I am smiling, why I talk about being positive, and why I look at the bright side of life. It was my dear friend who taught me that. She had setbacks and adversity to deal with. In her later years, she was in pain and medical problems were rather severe. But not once did she complain. She always, always, always had a cheery disposition and nice things to say. I try to follow the example that she left for me: look at the bright side of life, and make lemonade when life serves you lemons. What an enduring lesson that I hope beyond measure that I have adopted in my day-to-day life.

Rather than bore you with my ten minutes of eulogy content about someone you don’t know, let me affirm what comes from my faith. This is a spiritual faith, not a religious one.

I believe in the circle of life. You are born not knowing anything or anyone. You develop relationships with people, and you learn (provided the adults in your life nurture you well). You grow up, perhaps have a family, and do productive things. Hopefully, you care for others and help improve your world in some way or another. With any luck, you have taken time to have some fun along the way, too. You retire, but don’t stop working. It just changes the schedule of your work. Then you die. If things went well during your lifetime, you have taught and influenced others who will continue to make your works carry forward into the future. Thus: the circle of life. (Purely my own statement and thoughts, not “borrowed” from elsewhere on the Internet.)

Look back and ask some tough questions:

  • Did I make a difference?
  • Will anyone be able to say what I have done?
  • Did I leave a smile on other people’s faces?
  • Do those whom I loved know that I loved them?

To me, these are the questions for the ultimate final exam.

And I can say that while I am not perfect and have much to learn, that my faith — and striving that the answers to these questions be affirmative about me — is what drives me to love, to care, to extend a helping hand, to serve the community, to share smiles and joy, and overall: show those whom I love that I love them. Not just say or talk about it, but do it.

My wonderful friend did those things for me and countless others, each and every day that I knew her. That is what I said in my eulogy — how the circle of life goes around, and how my friend passed the ultimate final exam with a 1000% score.

And this is what my partner does for me, too. He helps me be positive, bright, and forward-looking. His caring love, deep concern, and strong support enables me to remain happy, positive, and keep a smile on my face. I surround myself with happy people, and smart ones, too, because they keep me strong and they will be the ones to answer those questions about me on that final exam.

Life is short: live it fully, love it completely, and by all means, show those whom you love that you love them.