Yearly Archives: 2009

Bright Side of Life

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Someone asked me in an email, and then someone else asked me on the way home last night… “do you always smile? Doesn’t anything get you down?” Even my brother remarked the other day that I “always have a silly grin on my face.”

Fa, cosi sia! (so be it). I would much rather bring joy to others with a smile. I like to have them say to themselves, “what’s he smiling about?” A smile is contagious. It’s fun. It’s powerful.

Sure, there are a number of things that bother me. I’ve known sadness and sorrow. There are times to mourn, there are times to rant, there are times to wince in pain, but there are also times to smile. I have made smiling such a regular practice that I don’t think about it any more. I just do. I smile so much that people wonder about me. But that’s okay. If I can keep the thoughts on smiling for no other reason than the goodness and joy a smile brings, then I am happy about that.

Many people dwell on the bad things; the lemons that life doles out from time to time. Heck, there are so many people in Washington, DC, who have a permanent scowl on their face, it’s like the scowl came “free” with the purchase of a suit and wingtips. Arrrggh! Bad things happen to all of us. That’s life. Life goes on, and we better make the best of it while we’re here, ’cause life is short.

A few years ago, my partner and I took his mother to see the show Spamalot at a theater in DC. One song that was featured at the closing of the show was the tune, “The Bright Side of Life,” which I have learned was originally introduced in the 1979 Monty Python film The Life of Brian. Not being a Monty Python fan, I wasn’t aware of the tune until I heard it years later. I still sing it to myself from time to time.

Life is short: SMILE! H. Jackson Brown Jr. said, “Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.”

Here are some of the lyrics to the tune “The Bright Side of Life”:

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you’re chewing life’s gristle,
Don’t grumble,
Give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best.
And…

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]

If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten,
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That’s the thing.
And…

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]

For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It’s your last chance, anyhow.

And here’s a YouTube video of it, subtitled in Italian for some of my blog readers che provengono dal paese di origine di mio padre.

Posted in joy

Sheplers Tempts the Bootman

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I wear cowboy boots every day when I go to work and when I’m not on my Harley. I have found that Sheplers, one of the western wear businesses that’s been around for a long time (both in brick-and-mortar stores and on the Internet), is able to get boot manufacturers to offer an exclusive line or style of boots through them, and them alone. You can’t find these boots from competitors (as best I can tell). I also discovered that Sheplers will feature these new styles in their printed catalog (one of the few companies that still prints a catalog) before they will put them on their website.

I received the latest Shepler’s catalog the other day, and as usual, I glanced through it with the full intention of just pitching it in the recycling can, when not one, not two, but three pairs of cowboy boots caught my eye.

What do you think? Which pair should I get, if I break down and get a pair? They’re all nice, and I’d like to have them all but even this Bootman has his limits. Share your opinion: (1) The Nocona Caiman Tail? … or (2) the Lucchese 1883 Full Quill Ostrich? … or (3) the Dan Post Caiman Tail Wingtips? Ugggh… the trials of a Bootman.

Update: Your opinion counted! 11 visitors to this blog voted in an on-line poll that I created, asking for help in making a choice of which boots to get. Six of the votes were for the Lucchese full quill ostrich boots (2 for Nocona Caiman tail, 1 for Dan Post wingtips, and 2 for “none of these.”) Thanks for the input. The order was placed for the Luccheses. I was leaning that way myself, and the votes confirmed my thinking.

Re-Doin’ the Blog – Updated

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Hey, you’ve noticed that the appearance of this blog is quite different. I finally took the plunge to update the template of this blog so that I could use some of the newer features of Blogger. All my stuff is still here, but over the next few days and weeks, you may see some more minor tweaks here and there to colors, fonts, and layouts.

I decided to change the color scheme in a major way, after receiving the third complaint in as many weeks that reading white letters on black background was hard for some to see. That’s gone. Anything else? Let me know.

Update: How do you like the new header? That’s ME! One of the many new features available to me now by updating the Blogger template. Just wait… more to come over time.

A Brother’s Love

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Guest Blog from BHD’s twin brother

I spent a great Easter weekend with that big lovable non-wuss of a brother of mine. Then I attended a series of meetings in Washington for work. I will soon return to Europe where I work and live with my wife.

What my brother’s blog readers do not see is how hard my brother works to care for the world. I’ve said this before, but every time I see it, I remain in awe. Yes, I caught him in a moment of quiet reflection in his back yard on Saturday morning, but it was a rare time when he was caught sitting still. This guy NEVER sits still.

I have not observed anyone who can renovate a house to make affordable housing available to those who work in the public sector while almost simultaneously taking old ladies to the grocery store, help some other seniors compute and send in their quarterly income tax payments, patiently explain to our elderly aunt one more time that her bills are all paid, converse on the phone about shenanigans in local politics, yet … remain calm, reserved, and still have that silly grin on his face.

He is always smiling. Mom always told us that if we scowled long enough that it might remain stuck on our face, so he does the opposite. What a warm feeling I have every time I look at that big, broad, smile on his face. He makes me smile, too.

The little things he does which he nonchalantly says “aren’t a big deal” ARE a big deal. He knows that I have a secret weakness for marshmallow “peeps” — those little sugary Easter treats. I found a peep on my pillow each night (and a whole box of them in my luggage)! I caught him signing and sending birthday cards to several of his friends. He cheats — he buys the cards all at once and puts them in a card organizer, carefully filed by date. But even to think of doing that is an amazing feat, much less carry it out.

I honestly don’t know how he does it all. He tells me that he paces himself. I see that. He’s up well before dawn, but don’t plan anything that goes on past 8 or 9 at night; he just fades out. It was funny last Friday night when he did just that — propped up on a pillow on our sister’s sofa, he was out like a light while everyone else was still loudly chattering away.

It is also evident to me just how deeply he loves his partner. Sure, our siblings are devoted to their spouses, and have remained so over many years. My brother’s devotion, concern, and care for his partner remains as strong as ever, and it’s a great thing to see. He has set the standard that I follow in my relationship with my wife of 20 months (today is our 20-monthiversary!)

I love this big lug of a guy, and thank him for his hospitality, as always. I admire the love he extends to me and to all others for whom he cares. As he says, “life is short! show those you love that you love them.” He is right, and he lives it each day. May God smile on this man, who I am very honored to call my brother.

Reunited In The Shower

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My partner went to see his mother for Easter. He left last Thursday. My twin brother arrived that night, so initially, I was involved in catching up with him, visiting family, and going about my usual routine with grocery shopping for myself and some neighbors, and other mundane tasks.

On Saturday morning, though, I was feeling lonely and a bit melancholy. These feelings washed over me when I awoke at dawn, and did my usual schootch-to-the-right to get close to where my man usually is, but he wasn’t there. It was an subconscious action. I knew he wasn’t there. But I still did that little slide in bed as if he were.

How I missed having his warm body to snuggle close to, and his chest upon which to rest my head. I missed listening to his insights about so many things, to have someone to talk to about our lives, and with whom to be intimate. Someone who above all others, makes me feel warm, safe, and secure.

I got up, got dressed, and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. My brother was still sleeping, and the house sounded soooooo quiet. No washer or dryer running, no pounding across the upstairs hallway while clothes were being put away and linens were changed on the bed, no bloop-bloop-a-doop of the Tivo being programmed. I went out to feed the birds and squirrels, and sat on my partner’s bench in the garden. In the rain. In the cold. I was lost in thought about someone I love very much, in one of his favorite places on Earth. (Until my brother called out the back door, “Hey! Are you crazy???” and brought me back to my senses.)

I got busy and carried on with my day, as well as on Sunday, too. I got lots of stuff done, more renovation work completed on the house, more joy shared with family… but nothing feels as empty as your heart when your bed is empty, too.

While I spoke with my partner on the phone a few times while he was away, it’s still not the same. A little catch-up about the mail or that my brother was here (and is a wuss!)… but what I missed is the ongoing banter and interaction through dialogue. It’s just not the same by phone as when your man is by your side.

When I got home from work yesterday, my partner had returned. He had already unpacked, had a load of laundry in the machine, and was taking a shower. I took off my boots, peeled off my work clothes, and stepped into the shower with him. He smiled, we embraced, kissed passionately … and….

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

How Cold Is Cold?

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While it was sunny yesterday, the predictions for warmer weather were wrong. It was 38°F (3°C) when we went to sunrise mass in the morning, and by 8am, when we were going to get on the Harley to go on our first family visit, it was only 42°F (5.5°C). My brother declined the invitation to join me as a passenger, and I could understand why. The bunny costume wasn’t insulated (LOL!)

We took the truck instead. I left him with a sister while I returned home, leathered up (including my All American Patrol Boots), hopped on the Harley, and joined my club to ride sweep which I had promised to do. My LAPD leather breeches are fully lined, and were warm and comfortable. Several layers of clothing under my Motocross jacket kept me warm on the topside, as well as warm gloves and a full-face helmet.

The ride was great. By the time it was done, I checked the temperature and it wasn’t that much warmer — only 50°F (10°C). I called my brother and he said that he really didn’t want to go on the bike to see our other family. I could understand, but I still called him a wuss. He took it good-naturedly. I took the bike home, changed out of biker leathers into light leather jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, pulled on my Dehner dress-instep patrol boots and pulled the leather jeans down over them, got into the truck and reconnected with my brother. We visited the rest of the family and enjoyed a nice dinner at another sister’s house with her family.

So the bunny surprise didn’t quite happen, but we had fun anyway. And my brother, bless him, is a WUSS! You heard it here first!

Life is short: wear your leather! (so you don’t wuss out on a motorcycle ride on a sunny day, even if it is cold!)

Happy Easter!

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Hoppy shined my patrol boots today.

Very early — like at sunrise — my twin brother and I will go to mass. I’ll be in the patrol boots, dress pants and shirt. Unless he makes me, I will forgo the tie, though he will be in a suit. Bless him, he got the suit genes, and I got the leather jeans. (smile)

When we get home, I will prepare a nice breakfast. Then I’ll shuck the dress duds but not the boots. I’m gonna boot up in leather and (another pair of) tall cop boots and ride my Harley. My brother and I will go visit the little ones and he will be in a full-sized bunny costume!

No, a helmet won’t fit in the head; we will have to ride close to the surprise locations and have him take off the helmet and put the head on… then go terrorize the kiddos and get ’em juiced up on lots of candy.

Mid-day, I’ll leave my brother at a sister’s house for lunch while I go for a ride with my club. The ride is supposed to only be a couple hours, but we’ll see if the estimate is correct.

Mid-afternoon, I will rejoin my brother, bunny him up again, and go for a few more visits. It ought to be a ton of fun and laughs. We will have Easter dinner at another sister’s house, then come home early. He has to go to a series of meetings in DC (which is why he is visiting) and I have to go back to work early on Monday.

Happy Easter, everyone! Life is short: show those you love that you love them (even in crazy ways!)

Less Than Half

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My partner is a serious grocery shopper. He religiously cuts coupons. When the food section arrives in the paper on Wednesday, he reviews the ads closely.

Then we have this long session where he goes through the ad to identify which items are on sale that we ordinarily buy. He matches the sales with coupons.

Then on top of that, the store where we regularly shop matches competitor’s store coupons. Lately, one major chain has been offering $10 off a $50 grocery order, and another offers $5 off a $25 order. Then they run coupons of their own … which our regular store will match.

Friday is the regular shopping day in our household. I had a long list. We usually go shopping together, but my partner is visiting his mother so I had to do the shopping alone.

I found every item, used every coupon, and had the store clerk give the discounts for the competitor’s coupons. I must have had 30 coupons…

but you know what? It made a huge difference. I rang up $166.57 in groceries, and by using the store’s loyalty card (which gives the discounts for the sale prices, and brought the total to $115.42), then all those manufacturer’s coupons, and the competitor coupon “match” that my partner diligently finds, I brought the total down to $79.81.

I am ordinarily not one to go to all this trouble, but it was well worth it. My partner is very diligent, and his attention to detail and coupon-snipping saves us a ton of money each week. I love my man for many reasons, and this is one of them. We can put the money we might spend on groceries to good use on the house. Lots of maintenance to do this Spring.

Which reminds me… that’s where I have been and where I will be this weekend: fixing up that old house I bought. I have made a huge amount of progress, and if everything gets done this weekend as I plan, then it will be ready to be painted and have carpeting installed by the third week of April — a week earlier than expected. But… I am going on a motorcycle ride on Sunday. Gotta work in some fun among all the renovation stuff.

Life is short: clip your coupons!

OMG its SNF!

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Yep, this is how I am feeling. I have a serious case of “social network fatigue” or SNF. I didn’t even know this was a real “syndrome” until I looked it up, and found an interesting article about it.

The article states just how I am feeling about participating in social networking sites: you hear about something that sounds interesting, you sign up, then soon enough the interest fades and you forget about it and you’re occasionally reminded of the pain spent in managing connections instead of enjoying being connected.

BHD has participated in social networks including Boots on Line, Gearfetish, Recon, BLUF, and even MySpace. He’s been invited to join Facebook countless times (but has resisted). He once was on other boot-related networks on ning and still belongs to the “abootfetish2” yahoo group, though it doesn’t do anything for him any more. And he’s forgotten already about two dozen other one-time wonder networks and yahoo groups that he had signed up for, looked at for a little while, the forgot about.

BHD’s professional side belongs to LinkedIn, about 20 yahoo and google groups, and six listservs set up by professional organizations or societies.

All these things take a lot of time to manage, and get exhausting.

Interestingly, Bill — the husband of Larry of “hotboots” fame — suggested recently that I examine just what participation in these social network sites and email groups “does for me.” And you know, he’s right, it doesn’t do much for me any more. I’ve made my friends. The hassle of dealing with occasional bozos who have harassed me through these sites (and getting it cleaned up) is more trouble than it’s worth to continue to participate, and I’m sure is annoying to webmasters who have to deal with goofball matters like this. And frankly, I’m just tired of the same-old, same-old boring stuff I see on these sites. After a while, it all blends in to a general jumbled visual mush and is rendered meaningless.

That doesn’t mean that I have lost interest in maintaining and building my friendships developed through connections initially made through these sites. It just means that I have enough now already and the men I have added to my life with whom I regularly communicate are great. But as my Nonna would say, “Basta!” — enough is enough.

Good friends have expressed similar feelings lately. AZ, JohnSmith, Bama, Clay, Maf, and several others — we’re all expressing the fatigue of keeping up with all the clutter of networking, instead of actually networking with those with whom we have made a connection. Funny, it was Bama who expressed what I was observing, “all the cool guys are gone….” (though I am honored that such a cool guy would refer to me by that term, but I digress.)

No worries, fellas, I’ll still be around. I will continue to maintain, update, and refresh my website, post regularly on this blog, and keep an eye on other things, but my active participation on BOL, abootfetish, etc., etc., is of less interest and value to me.

Anyone else suffering from SNF? It seems to be a growing syndrome that the younger set can teach us older guys about.