My partner and I were entranced at the beauty we beheld last night, admiring the Christmas decorations on our house while the snow continued to fall. I finally am in the Christmas spirit!

This is definitely gonna stick around through Christmas … the first white Christmas we have had in over a decade. As of 9pm last night, we had over 21″ (53cm) of snow. A record for snow in December has been set for the DC area.

And yes, this is the house that I built (with the help of several crews that I hired.) I swung the hammer on many a nail….

It seems that these days, most people want to do all the talking. You see them all the time — yakking away on their cell phones while driving, walking down the street, or everywhere else. I was seated with a group at lunch on Friday, and watched a table of four next to me. Each person was talking — no one was listening. It seemed to me as if they were in a contest about who could outlast and “outtalk” the others. No one listened — they all blabbed away.

I am fortunate to live with a man who is a superb listener. Among his many skills, he listens to what others say, and acts on what he hears. He is a man of few words. Often, he prefers that everyone else do the talking and he not say a word.

I value that my partner is such a good listener. We went to visit my old friend yesterday. She lives about an hour’s drive away, so the visits are not as frequent as I might like them to be, but nonetheless, are good ones. He picked up and remembered that my friend gets cold, but because she must have daily intravenous medical treatments these days, she cannot wear a traditional sweater with sleeves. He found my friend a sleeveless fleece sweater/vest at our local KMart. He also remembered that my friend just loves a dairy treat that is sold by a fast-food restaurant. On our way to visit my dear old friend yesterday, we stopped by that restaurant and got the treat for her.

I recall that this friend taught me so much as she mentored me when I was just learning about working in the non-profit field. She cared for me and listened to me back then. Now it’s my turn — to listen. During our visit, I sat, held her hand, and my partner held her other hand. We gave her the dairy treat which she loved. She was so thrilled with the vest that my partner found for her, she almost jumped for joy. Unfortunately, her jumping days are over, but her joy was quite palpable.

I realize that I get so busy doing so many things, that I have to depend on my partner to help me keep focused on priorities, remember what and who are important, and to slow down and listen. Yeah, I am kinda verbal, but I credit my partner for continuing to teach me that all-important lesson especially when it comes to relating to older people. “Shut up and listen. Just listen. Hold their hand and listen.” He is so right. Just having someone to listen to them — even if it is stories one has heard before — helps an older person feel that someone else is interested in them, cares about them, and loves them.

I thank my partner for helping me to remember this very important lesson. I am so blessed in so many ways — for having him keep me focused. For having close family and friends support and love me, lead me, and guide me along life’s highway. But most of all, for the faith that so many others have in me. I guess I learned that by listening.

Life is short: listen. You will be amazed at what you hear.

This time of year is always busy. My life at work transitions to doing more things than regular work, such as the going to the requisite office holiday party and attending receptions hosted by offices of local agencies and organizations that I frequent. I’m not the party-boy, but I stop in, say hi, give greetings and wish good cheer … then skedaddle. On top of this, I have a short out-of-town business trip next week. I hope I can just fly in, meet, and get back home as quickly as I can, and not encounter travel delays.

Community-life transitions to being invited to holiday parties and other social occasions. My lovely partner, the world’s #1 recluse, declines to join me, and generally, I limit the visits when possible … but it’s not always possible.

Family-life transitions to more holiday stuff as well. Four family Christmas parties before Christmas day compete with other demands for time. But I love my family, and won’t be a stranger.

Home-life transitions to decorating for Christmas (we’re all done, yippie!), and getting ready for my annual bread-baking that I do at Christmastime. I make a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread for all of the neighbors, plus a couple dozen senior buds. I probably go through 100 pounds of flour, if not more….

All of this is additional to regular things I do — work full-time, and serve as a community volunteer and civic leader by night, whilst the other half of my time includes doing household handyman chores for senior friends, whilst the remaining 99% of my time includes caring for my dear elderly aunt…. not to mention my partner, and not ignoring him and his needs (just to have me with him “more than less.”)

Then I finally broke down and opened a Facebook account last Friday. Gosh, that thing can be consuming. I have, however, connected with several long-lost friends from high school and college, political life, buddies from Down Under, and so on. Hundreds of “friends” have piled on within just a few days. Sheesh, I didn’t know I knew so many people. I have been hearing more from younger family members who communicate regularly through that thing, and think email is such a dinosaur, they seldom use it. Oh heck, this ol’ dinosaur is finally moving a bit more forward, while trying to keep those activities in check.

Add all these things together: the pressures of work-work, personal work, and holiday time are taking their toll. Thus, not much is happening on my “booted” website. I’m kinda weary and don’t have much Christmas spirit (yet). I’m sure I’ll “get there” soon enough. But right now, I feel like a dog just thrown into a pond, paddling ferociously.

Gosh, I haven’t even done my Christmas cards yet. Thank goodness, though, I did finish my Christmas shopping back in July. Else I truly think that I would be overwhelmed.

Life is short: do what you have to do!

110 years ago, when my maternal grandmother was enjoying her first Christmas with her newly wed husband, he gave her a hand-blown little blue bell. You can see it here in the lower middle of this photo.

It is a cherished family heirloom that enjoys a prominent location on our Christmas tree.

When we were kids, my Mom would unwrap the little blue bell and hang it on our family’s tree, and tell us the story of her mother and this little bell. It has been in our family for only three generations, and lives with me now. I cherish it. The bell brings many happy memories of my childhood Christmases, my grandmother, and my Mom.

Yesterday when my partner and I were decorating our home for Christmas, we put our tree up. We have lots of decorations — an eclectic assortment of family heirlooms and newer pieces that he and I have acquired. But nothing means more to us than this little blue bell.

When my Mom died, she left a note: “Please ensure the little blue Christmas bell goes to [BHD]. He loved it so. It’s my gift to him and [his partner], to enjoy on their tree as they begin a life in their new house.”

You see, my Mom died just three weeks before the house that I built for my partner and me was completed. She and my partner planned all of its furnishings and decorations … down to what things would look like at Christmas. I regret that she never saw our house, particularly at Christmas. But that little blue bell is her living memory which we so enjoy.

Life is short: remember happy thoughts of loved-ones.

I mentioned that we entertained a number of seniors and guests on Thanksgiving last Thursday. It was a lot of fun, and was not as much work as it may seem since many people helped. I remain particularly thankful to my partner, my friend “E” who did a lot of the logistical planning this year, and my family who helped orchestrate the transportation, feeding, and entertainment of our guests.

I am receiving a number of hand-written thank-you notes in the mail. It’s so sweet, and a custom seldom practiced any more. I’ve learned from a book that my best friend sent to me that Millennials (young people in their 20s) have an earnest desire to express what’s on their mind, so they think nothing of sending an email or a text as soon as possible such as a thank-you text for a job interview. Okay, I understand that better now, and will no longer think poorly of the method of communication and get to the bottom line: what was said.

I digress… I still value written thank-you notes sent in the mail. Doing that shows a level of effort — it takes work to hand-write a note, prepare an envelope for mailing, and mail it.

I received one such note yesterday that caused both my partner and me to shed tears:

Thank you for persuading me to join you for your Thanksgiving pot-luck supper. At first, I was reluctant, because I didn’t know anybody except you, and I wasn’t sure how I would feel.

Since my beloved husband died three months ago, this is the first Thanksgiving I have had without him. Our children wanted me to come to spend the holiday with them, but that would mean an airline flight and travel during the most busy period. I just couldn’t do that. They seemed to understand, though not seeing them and my grandkids weighed heavily on my mind.

You and your family warmly welcomed me, made me feel at home right away, introduced me to others, and made sure I had plenty to eat. I ended up seated next to [your partner]. He listened to me, held my hand, and was the most empathetic person I have ever met. What a wonderful, thoughtful, caring man he is. You are blessed to have him.

I never felt alone while I was there. I basked in the warm glow of joy when your niece drove me back home. I didn’t know a neighbor who lives in the building across the street from me until I met her at your party. We went out to lunch on Friday and had a great time shopping together. What an unanticipated benefit!

Thank you again for all that you do for everyone. I hear from a lot of people about how special you are, how much you are adored and loved, and why you deserve the praise you get from us. While you never asked for money, I have sent a donation to [our local fire department] as a gift in your honor.

Aw shucks… I am still sniffling. Thanks [P], you’re pretty special yourself.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

My partner and I both work full-time, and when we get home from work, we’re tired and it’s difficult to find the time and energy to cook a full-blown meal. I guess that’s why a lot of people buy prepared meals and eat out.

Instead, we “pre-prepare” our meals in advance. For example, Guido (my chef’s assistant) and I got busy on Saturday afternoon and “cooked up a storm.” We made a huge pot of Chicken Soup on one burner of the stove, and a full pot of home-made tomato sauce, which we call “Salsa del Guido.”

Sure, we can buy pre-made tomato sauce in a jar or can at the grocery store. And yes, we have been known to do that. But we prefer our own sauce, in which we include ingredients we prefer: fresh onion, garlic, oregano, parsley, salt, pepper, extra virgin olive oil, and a bit of sugar to cut the acidity of the tomato base composed of tomato puree and tomato paste. Some recipes call for wine, but we don’t use it, since I am allergic to certain chemicals in grapes.

We will add all the ingredients, mix them together, and let it simmer a good 2 – 3 hours on the stove, stirring occasionally. Then I will remove the onions and garlic, and store the sauce in canning jars.

During the week when we get home and want a quick Italian meal, I will simmer some chicken in some of the sauce and boil water to make pasta. Add the chicken to the pasta with a bit more sauce and fresh grated cheese, and in 20 minutes, we have a home-cooked meal. Served with a side-salad, in no time, we enjoy a filling, balanced meal. Then, for me, often I’m off to an evening meeting, public hearing, or whatever.

Some weekend days we get really creative and productive, and make our own pasta, such as cheese ravioli. It is simple to do, but takes some time. But there’s nothing like having your own ravioli when you are tight on time but want a filling evening meal. Ravioli freezes very well, and takes just five minutes to make once the water is boiling.

Batch cooking in advance is the way to go. We can vary what we eat throughout the week and enjoy the benefits of our own creations, without having to take hours to prepare it. And that is not mentioning the money we save by not eating out or buying prepared meals that may come in too-large portions or with ingredients that don’t agree with restricted diets such as I have to live with.

Life is short: plan ahead!

Shown below, the results of our work on Saturday: Chicken soup on the left, “Salsa del Guido” on the right